Gomez to Pugsley: I’m tired of wrecking the trains! Let’s go outside and set up a track around the whole yard. We can watch them circle round the track all day!

Morticia to Gomez: I hate speaking French! Can I have a tutor for Sanskrit Bubbalah?

Grandmama: Gomez, I've kept it a secret all these years but you're old enough to know that. . . Jeanette MacDonald's my kid sister!

Gomez: No, not that! What will the neighbors think of us?

Uncle Fester: I hate lighting up light bulbs!

Gomez to Morticia and Pugsley: I’m tired of blowing up the toy trains! So boring!

Gomez: Tish, could you get Lurch to kiss your arm? I've got a headache!

Lurch asked to play the harpsichord: F off you two!

Gomez:"Pugsley, stop with that "mother and father" ****. You need to learn method acting or you'll grow up to be a stagehand."

lurch- i quit

Wednesday: "Mother, my pet spider Homer just put me in the family way."

Gomez: Cara Mia, I just blew up a train but, unfortunately I also blew up my man cave in the process.

Morticia: Pourquoi?

Gomez: Tish! When you speak French... Let's go down to the bed of nails.