Alice’s mother to Ralph: Sonny boy, you’re the best thing that ever happened to Alice!

Ralph (to Alice’s Mom): I love you. I love it when you come visit us.

Ralph to Alice: Your Mother is the best! When is she coming to visit-can hardly wait to see her!

Ralph, to his best pal Ed, "Why is it that every single day when I come home from a hard days work, I immediately find you and my wife alone with each other in my own home? Huh pal??!"

Alice: "You're not gonna F'N go bowling tonight, Ralph!"

Ralph to Alice: No more stupid get-rich-quick schemes from me!

Actually that line was kind of uttered in the 1970s special titled Honeymooners XMas Special at the end.

Actually that line was kind of uttered in the 1970s special titled Honeymooners XMas Special at the end.

Was it really? I’ll go back and change that post-because if anyone knows The Honeymooners inside and out it’s you. I hope I don’t accidentally slip up again.

Alice: Ralph, your waistline is getting so small. Your pants are going to fall off if I don't buy you a smaller size. You need to EAT!

Ralph to Alice’s mother: I love it when you insult me. It reminds me of my favorite actor Don Rickles. Do it more!

Ralph, to Norton: Go right ahead and turn on Capt. Video, pal o'mine. I'll watch it with ya. Do ya have an extra space helmet for me?
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Ralph, to Alice: We're definitely gonna get a phone. And while we're at it, let's get a couple o' chairs to sit on. I'm kinda tired o' sittin' at the table.

Alice: You'd never know it to look at you.

Ralph: You got that right. Baby, you're the greatest!

Ralph: Alice, my darling! I would never send you to the moon! You never make me angry, Honey!

Ralph: Let's go roller skating every week, Alice!

Ralph: Alice, could you put me on a strict diet? I want to look my best for my wifey. I can eat spinach and brown rice every night.

Ralph: Norton, pal o' mine, do ya think you could get me a job down the sewer, too? I hate this bus driving job.

Norton: Hey, Ralph! I am sick of stinking in that sewer. Could you recommend a good body wash?

Trixie: Let's cuddle a little closer, Ed. You smell so clean and fresh tonight.

Norton: I love the way I smell after working in the sewers. Like a breath of springtime!

Alice's mother: Oh, Ralphie, you're just the best son-in-law a mother could hope for. And a wonderful husband for my daughter!

Norton (about Ralph) Sheesh! What a good-tempered man!

Alice's sister: Alice, men aren't beasts! Stanley is an absolute jewel.

Alice: Ralph, your tummy is so small but your heart is so big!

Alice: Ralph, be sure to wear another pair of pants tomorrow...I want to take in the ones you have on.

:) Alice: Ralph, will you stop eating all of the celery. You never leave me one stick!

Ralph, to Alice's mother: You, buttinsky, in! You're not stayin' for one week, you're stayin' for two weeks!

Alice: Ralph, you better stop walking so many miles. You're going to lose too much weight!

Ralph: I’m not hungry at all, just a carrot stick Alice dear

Ralph: Alice, you are the queen of your castle. I'll do anything you ask, Darling.

Ralph, to his boss: My salary is just right for driving a bus. I don't need a raise.

Norton to Ralph: Go f*** yourself, you big tub of lard!

Alice to Trixie: Ralph is the most calm man I have ever known. Nothing upsets him.

Alice: All right, Ralph, I wouldn't mind a trip to the moon. But it'll have to be in a rocket ship; none of your bang, zooms.

Alice to Ralph: You look skinny, Ralph. Eat a sandwich!!