“The Return of VitaMeataVegamin”
Episode 1 of Great Laughing Mix-Up

Written by
Sean Sporman

Prologue

Lucy Ricardo yawned. She stood up from the twin bed of her own and looked over. “Look,” She said sarcastically, “It’s the amazing sleeping Cuban!”
Her husband, Ricky, was a bandleader and slept in a twin bed of his own. In fact, he was still asleep.
“Come on!” She said as she began to put on her make-up. “The neighbors said that they would be over here in just a minute.”
He began to roll over. “Oh yeah.”
The doorbell rang.
“Oh no!” Lucy exclaimed. In her moment of shock, her lipstick streaked across her upper lip.
“Well,” smiled Ricky, “If it isn’t little red riding lip!”
“Oh, be quiet, Ricky!” Lucy snapped. “I’ll go and get the door!”
“Yeah. Go and get the door.” Ricky repeated.
Lucy ran down the stairs and then turned right, heading for the door. She pulled hard on the doorknob…
…and the door came clean of its hinges.
“Well, she did it alright.” Observed Ricky Ricardo from the top of the staircase, “She got the door. Oh, goodness!”
Ricky walked around Lucy and the door. “Hello, neighbors! I’m Ricky Ricardo.”
There were three people. One was a beautiful brunette. “Hi! I’m Laura Petrie.” They shook hands.
Another was a small man in a sheriff’s uniform. “I’m Deputy number two-eight, Bernard P. Fife. But, you can just call me Fife—I mean Barney!” He stammered.
The last one was an older man in older clothes and a slightly tattered hat. “Howdy, folks, I’m Jed Clampett. Anyone had any vittles for breakfast yet? It’s clean past six o clock!”
Lucy regarded Jed with a wild-eyed look of confusion.
Ricky shook his head. “Es un lenguaje tan loco! Can’t anyone speak right around here?”