View Full Version : A Honeymooners New Year's Day:


Frank Gannucci
12-29-2018, 06:17 AM
(Everyone is at the bowling alley. They counted down to 2019. Ralph & Ed are down by nine pins and is the final frame. If Ralph gets a strike, they win.)

All (yell): "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

(Everyone is cheering. Ed is now drunk. Ralph, who is all sober, gets ready to bowl. He gets ready to release the ball.)

Ed (slapping Ralph on the shoulder which causes Ralph to drop the ball on Ralph's foot, drunkenly yells): "HAPPY NEW YEAR RALPH-IEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BOY!"

Ralph (yells): "OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! ARRRRRRRRRRGH!"

(Ralph goes into his pain bit where he walks around in pain. His ball only knocked down nine pins. Ed realizes what he did.)

Ralph (yells): "YOU STUPID MORON!"

Ed: (yells): "DID I HURT YOU?"

Ralph (sarcastically yells): "OF COURSE NOT! YOU ACCIDENTALLY CAUSED ME TO DROP THE BALL ON MY FOOT AND US TO LOSE THE GAME. HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY HURT ME."

Ed (drunkenly yells): "OH! THANK GOODNESS! I THOUGHT I DID!"

Ralph (yells): "YOU DID YOU IDIOT! PUT 'EM UP!"

(The girls hear the commotion.)

Alice: "It's New Year's Trix. Ralph is having a fight because of his stupidity."

Trixie: "Let's break it up."

Ed (drunkenly yells): "HELP ME CAPTAIN VIDEO, I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE."

(Harvey & George try to pry Ralph & Ed off. Ralph swings at Ed and accidentally hits Harvey who was holding Ed. Harvey is now fighting Ralph. A big riot is at the bowling alley. Ralph, Ed & Harvey get kicked out mostly due to Ralph's, Ed's and Harvey's mouths.)

(Alice escorts Ralph home who has now two black eyes. Alice heard the whole story.)

Alice: "What do you have to say Ralph? You three ruined our night.

Ralph (yells): "I GOT A BIIIIIIIIIG MOUTH."

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year."

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Good night everyone."

(Crowd cheers.)