View Full Version : A Honeymooners New Year's Eve:


Frank Gannucci
12-28-2018, 08:41 AM
(The Kramdens & Nortons are at the bowling alley because Ralph & Ed entered in a tournament.)

Ralph: "Wow Norton! We are going to win this tournament tonight. I have a great feeling."

Ed: "So do I."

Ralph: "It's a good thing that the girls are in that ballroom watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest."

Ed: "Hey Ralph, there is our opponents. It is Harvey, George and that poor misguided soul, Joe Fenstablau.."

Ralph: "They will lose. I can feel it. The prize for tonight: Two glorious weeks in Miami Beach."

(Crowds cheer.)

(Meanwhile in the ballroom, the girls are talking.)

Alice: "I hope those boys control themselves when they win. I know how Ralph drinks."

Trixie: "I know how Ed drinks. He gets tipsy reading the labels."

Alice: "Ralph got so drunk after a Raccoon meeting that he came home one night and yelled out the window: 'Mrs. Gallagher, get your cat out of our apartment.' Only thing is that it wasn't her cat. He had his Raccoon cap on backwards."

Trixie: "Ed did the same thing. I say if we can get away with it, let's substitute the alcohol with grape juice."

(The girls laugh.)

(At the bowling alley, Ralph & Ed meet Joe, Harvey & George.)

Joe: "You ready to lose tonight to my men who I am going to cheer on?"

Ralph: "Oh, you want to bet? How much?"

Harvey: "How about $100?"

Ed: "Sure."

Harvey: "If you decide to hightail it out, we will come get you. Where do you live."

Ed: "328 Chauncey Street in Brooklyn."

Ralph: "You are on."

(It is now 11:59p. Ralph & Ed are down by nine pins and is the final frame. If Ralph gets a strike, they win. Meanwhile, everyone is counting down.)

All (yell): "10...9...8..."

Ed (yells): "THE CHAMPAGNE IS NOT KORBEL."

(Ralph laughs.)

All (yells): "4...3...2...1..."

(To be continued.)