(Ralph & Ed are getting ready for the Christmas concert that they are going to put on at the Raccoon Lodge on XMas Eve. They are at Walmart trying out costumes in dressing rooms.)

Ralph: "Boy Norton, I can't wait for this concert on XMas Eve tonight. It sure beats being at Alice's Mothers even though her parents are going to come."

Ed: "You two don't get along. You two are natural enemies like a boa constrictor and a mongoose."

(They both come out. Ed is dressed as an elf while Ralph is dressed as Santa.)

Ralph: "How do we look Norton?"

Ed: "Deeeeevine!"

Ralph: "That is what I thought. We are lucky. Our number is at the end of the concert and I will sing: 'Here Comes Santa Claus.'"

Ed: "They should sing a song: 'Here comes Ralph Kramden/Here comes Ralph Kramden/Right down Madison Avenue/..."

(Ralph laughs.)

Ed: "One thing I am concerned Ralph is that you could freeze right when you approach the audience because when you freeze, you could be the BIGGEST thing on the stage."

Ralph: "Ooooooh, you are a regular riot Norton. I hope Santa doesn't put coal in your stockings after you made that comment."

Ed: "I hope he doesn't. I am expecting a new Captain Video & His Video Rangers t-shirt."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

(They approach the Raccoon Lodge. It is Christmas Eve night. They run into the wives and Alice's parents.)

Alice's Mom: "Hey Sonny Boy. I hope that you don't freeze while you are up on stage and make a fool of yourself like you always do."

Ralph: "Oh, you are starting right in huh? One of these days, you will push me too far."

Alice's Mom: "The only thing that can push you is a bulldozer."

(Ralph slaps the wall.)

Alice: "Ralph calm down. You got to get ready for the TV cameras."

Ralph: "TV?"

Alice: "Yeah, didn't you hear? This is going to be shown nationwide on CBS as well as streamed live on the Raccoon website."

(Ralph gulps and has a scared look on his face.)

Ed: "Don't worry Ralph. All you have to say at 12a tonight at the end of the song is: 'Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.'"

(Later on, they get set for the last song. It is 11:56p.)

(The wives and Alice's parents are in the crowd.)

Trixie: "I got a text from Ed. It says that Ralph is cool as a cucumber. As a matter of fact, he has lumps all over him."

Alice's Mom: "If that fat son-in-law flops on stage, I am sure it will make for hillarious viewing on YouTube."

(After they sing "Silent Night", Ralph gets on the microphone. It is now 11:59p.)

Ralph: "Huminahumina...Haminahamina...Heeehee...Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma..."

(Ed goes over to him. Ralph sees him.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE AN ELF?"

(Everyone laughs in the crowd laughs. The Raccoon head is embarrassed.)

(To be continued.)