I have never figured why families always want their children to attend family functions with them during special occasions? Is it because families want to show off their children or is it because they want their children to interact more with relatives in the family? Because I find it surprising that families force their kids to do this and to me kids should make their own decisions to attend the function or not? Take for instance I have never understood why families bring kids to weddings because to me weddings are not functions to bring kids because there's not really much for kids to do at weddings and when the wedding reception begins all kids can do is sit at the table and eat food and be quiet and weddings are meant to be attended by adults only. A second family function that families force their kids to attend is memorial services and funerals and I have never in my life figured out why kids attend funerals in the first place? Take for instance when families have funerals they always baby the kids and prepare them for what they will see and tell the kids things like "Be Quiet Grandma Bessie has died or Say Good Bye To Uncle Graham" And when kids hear things like this don't parents realize that funerals are not for kids because there's worse things that will freak out children like seeing Grandma Bessie's or Uncle Graham's body in the coffin and to me funerals give children nightmares and I always have had nightmares after attending funerals and funerals should also be attended also by adults only because funerals are scary for children
What's your opinion on this? Should children be excluded from family functions?
Bestie

I attended family funerals all of my life. They never bothered me. But my husband never attended a funeral until he was an adult. IMO death and funerals are a fact of life and the earlier children are exposed the better. But I do agree about children attending weddings. Weddings can be very boring to a kid.

My mom's father died when she was 6. She was not allowed to attend the funeral but wishes she could have.

Families need to be together at all times. Period.

My mom always used to say, “If I can’t take my kids, I ain’t goin’.”

Another thing I have noticed about funerals that I cannot figure why families don't do is every time a funeral is about to happen is that the parents always coach the kids on behavior but even though the parents have coached them on behavior and manners they let the kids do what they want to do while the funeral is running. At several funerals I've noticed my little cousins and other kids running around making noise and just clowning around laughing and talking very loud and to me when you have kids attend a funeral the kids should be completely quiet and not make so much noise and another thing that I have noticed during funerals that I've seen kids do and the parents don't know that the kids do is that whenever the body is on display in the casket is that the kids touch the body at all times and I cannot figure out why kids always like to touch the body in the casket because from what I see of this will scare and haunt the kids for the rest of their life. If you are gonna bring kids to a family function why not bring them some toys or video games to keep them entertained so they won't be bothersome at a wedding or a funeral
Bestie

Parents bring small children to family functions because they are selfish and inconsiderate. I recently went to a religious ceremony and a one-year old in the audience ruined it because she kept yelling and crying but the idiot parents refused to take her out of the room. Everyone was staring at them and they couldn't have cared less. If you bring a baby or toddler to something like that at the first sign of trouble you should remove the child from the room.

Babalu is right, it's selfishness. I understand in some cases bringing kids (like daytime family events but things like weddings? Nope, they are expensive and then the bride and groom have to pay more money. If I get married no noisy kids. Just my niece (who is quiet) and close family members who are kids and well behaved.

I always felt parents took their children to events like this for they couldn't leave home alone. Unless neighbor Sally could look after little Mike and Sue, Parents took them along.
As for funerals, I think it depends on the child's feelings. I in my younger years hated funerals. Thoughts of how could, so and so die. I wanted everyone to live forever. I was emotional as ever. Before the funeral started I'd be in tears. Then a love one would tell a story and the tears would flow more. I'd be crying more than the deceased love ones. It wasn't till after my parents died that it didn't seem so emotional. Seeing George HW Bushes funeral must have been hard and most of it was televised.

Not bringing children to family functions is one of the strangest things Ive ever heard. How else are they going to know their family? Prefer they are shy around them for life? Its how children build social skills and how to interact as well as learning to LOVE and be compassionate adults. Plus depending on the age of the child you just cant leave them alone and not everyone can afford a sitter. Even if they are older too they may be trouble makers or substance abusers and their parents do not want them to be home alone


And weddings are not meant to be strictly for adults. Every wedding Ive attended (as a child too!) usually has an after party with karaoke and dancing and tons of sweets so the kids are definitely enjoying themselves as much as, if not more so than the adults!


And as far as funerals- thats the parents call. I think it would depend on the childs age and how close they were to the family member. Ive been to quite a few funerals as a child. No nightmares (seeing a dead loved one isn't scary and nowadays most famiilies do cremation as its cheaper) only residual sadness.

It depends. For example, kids ruin weddings and end up costing money. I wouldn't want them at a wedding. Not to mention they get bored and tired. My parents never brought me to weddings.

Regarding the issues of boredom at adult dinners/parties... kids today have all of these gadgets (iPhones, Tablets) to keep them occupied.

I've seen kids sit for hours on those things.

Regarding the issues of boredom at adult dinners/parties... kids today have all of these gadgets (iPhones, Tablets) to keep them occupied.

I've seen kids sit for hours on those things.

But they don't belong at most weddings and many are brats, and the bride and groom have to pay more to have them there (which might mean someone they really want can't be there). Nope, kids at weddings can be a bad thing, especially if their parents get drunk and don't watch them.

I agree with you!! i wouldn't bring my kid to wedding!! i can maybe see furnals! you know what grips me kids with cell phones!! how many kids have so many people to call? i wouldn't let my kid have cellphone until 13 to 15 years old!! but i wouldn't bring my kid to furnal unless it was liked family member liked grand mama!! ! but maybe bring something liked cell phone or video game so they would be running around or screaming!! what i hate is when they bring kids to movie theaters!! so if an cartoon comes out i would wait liked week or 2 unitl it dies down!! i remember i saw the movie independence day in the movie theater & there was this kid he was setting right beside me!! & he was liked 10 or 13 but he must have already seen the movie cause he was telling the other kid every thing happening in the movie!! then the guy in front of me told them to shut up!! i thought that was funny!!

Another type of family function that is sometimes very serious that families force kids to do is visit a loved one in the hospital when a relative has a serious illness or has a serious operation and I don't know why parents have to bring children to the hospital when something like an ill family member occurs. And every time parents bring kids to the hospital just like with funerals parents baby the kids and tell them things like "Now be very quiet because Grandpa Billy is very very very sick" or "Not so much clowning around because Uncle Drew needs his sleep and is very sick" and still even though parents coach the kids before visiting a sick relative in the hospital the kids always end up clowning around the hospital making noise and chasing each other around and why do the parents have to bring the children into the hospital room when a relative is recovering? All I can see is this will make the sick relative get worser and kids end up getting sick but you don't need to isolate the kids from the sick relative. Kids are not gonna get a heart attack or have a stroke or catch cancer from the sick relative. Every time I witnessed visiting relatives in the hospital I noticed my aunts crying and my cousins start crying too and what I can say is why are parents doing this to kids and they should visit sick relatives when they return from the hospital to make it more comfortable for the relative who's ill
Bestie

Parents bring small children to family functions because they are selfish and inconsiderate. I recently went to a religious ceremony and a one-year old in the audience ruined it because she kept yelling and crying but the idiot parents refused to take her out of the room. Everyone was staring at them and they couldn't have cared less. If you bring a baby or toddler to something like that at the first sign of trouble you should remove the child from the room.

I see your point, but in some states there are laws against leaving children who are
a certain age at home alone. In those cases, you should make arrangements with a
sitter or another relative.

In general, it's a bad idea for parents to bring kids anywhere where quiet is expected. I do agree this is usually selfishness when the parents bring their families to these events anyway. If you can't afford a babysitter, stay home. That's the life you inherit once you choose to become a parent.

To me...it depends...

Wedding-If there's gonna be a child or two around their age, I'd let my children go. But I'll let the wife (IF I ever have one) to make the call...because if well behaved, the child can go anywhere.

Funeral-This will depend on their age...they may NOT be ready to face death, at least by the age of 6, I'd at least take them to the service.

Hospital-Probably not! They don't allow children anyhow!

I've seen children at these events and...they're pretty much well behaved.

Just concerning weddings, the wife and I allowed kids at the wedding, as well as had two that were part of the wedding party.
Our daughter when she was very young was part of a wedding party, and we brought her to weddings, when either she was invited or we knew it was okay with the bride and groom.

Those who are getting married can have a 'no kids allowed' wedding if they don't want any children to attend.
If children are allowed at the wedding, and someone attending doesn't like kids at the wedding, then they can stay home.

My mom disliked attending funerals and memorial services when she was growing up not only because it was boring and she had to be quiet but also because she always had to look after my aunt when she was little and my aunt also disliked funerals because all she wanted was to stay home and watch The Three Stooges or cartoons. One time my mom and my aunt attended a funeral of a relative with my grandmother and during the funeral my mom was standing there at the casket paying respects to the relative and my aunt asked my grandmother if the relative was ever coming back and why they had to put the relative in the casket and so my mom led my aunt to the casket on a dare and my aunt jerked the hand of the body to feel it come alive and after she touched the body my aunt screamed her head off and cried and cried and when my aunt told my grandmother that she touched the body she told Grandma that it freaked her out and she told Grandma that my mom had dared my aunt to touch the body to scare her. And to this day my aunt never let my cousins attend funerals not only for the same reason but for fear that my cousins might freak out and see ghosts and have nightmares of dead relatives. But as for weddings my mom went to a lot of them well behaved and if there was gonna be lots of food and wedding cake for dessert she loved it. Even today my mom wants to attend weddings just to eat wedding cake alone for dessert
Bestie