Frank Gannucci
09-14-2018, 07:46 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "To Whomever It May Concern" & "Sleepy Time Gal" (rare version):
Episode #198 (Syndicated episode #27)
TV: Hour-long musical.
DVD: Attached to "The Main Event" & "Two Faces of Ralph Kramden"
Color Honeymooners Title: "To Whomever It May Concern."
Lost Episode Title: "Letter To The Boss."
Air Date: 12/16/67
"To Whomever It May Concern":
These episode beings with a shot of “Ralph's bus” (actually a real toy bus that was manufactured with Jackie Gleason’s characters’ faces on the windows) pulling into the bus terminal. The June Taylor Dancers enter into the bus terminal and sing and dance to a song I think is called: “Bus Station.” According to the lyrics, the bus station is perfect for love. Of course, it is. (Note the sarcasm.) At the end of the song, Johnny Olsen (as the bus station announcer over the P.A.) announces that a bus will be leaving from platform 6. When I first saw this episode, it was the syndicated version. The syndicated episode opens with the shot of “Ralph’s bus” pulling into the station. I thought I heard laughter and assumed that one of the June Taylor Dancers did something funny. After watching the uncut version, I can now say that they didn’t do anything funny. Ralph greets Ed in the lobby of the bus terminal. Ralph says that there ought to be a law that forbids women to ride the bus. Ralph: "They ought to ride the subway. Where the driver is in a booth and they can't bother him." Ralph says that a woman is going to report her. Ralph picked her up at Cline's on 14th street. She comes on the bus and has nothing smaller than a twenty dollar bill. Ralph didn't do it because the bus company says that he doesn't have to change anything over $5 and the union says that he doesn't have to change anything over $1. Ha! She was steamed at Ralph because he broke her lamp. Ralph: "I told her to get off the bus. She wouldn't move." Ed: "Was that after you broke her lamp?" Ralph: "No, that was after I broke her umbrella." Ralph would have called a cop but while he was arguing with her, he ran into the back of a police car. A guy named Fred comes by and says to Ralph that he got a call from the main office. Mr. Marshall says that Ralph should turn in his uniform Monday morning. Ralph isn't driving a bus anymore. Fred doesn't have any more details and leaves. Ralph is worried that he lost his job because that woman filled a complaint against him, so he tries to call him. Ralph is unsuccessful in trying to get him. Ralph complains about all the inconveniences he had to put up with as a driver like drunks trying to get on the bus without paying, old women yelling at him etc. Ed: "Don't worry Ralph you will get another job." Ralph: "Sure, I will but not a good one like this one." Ha! Ed tries to cheer Ralph up, but only makes Ralph feel worse. Ralph wonders what he will do after this job because he doesn't have a decent education. He was a school drop out. Ed: "I was working in the sewer all these years because I was a drop in." Ralph & Ed sing a very important song called: "Stay In School." That song should be sung to everyone who thinks of dropping out.
Alice is home and Trixie stops by to borrow some onions. Alice is making new curtains for the bedroom window. Alice is using an old sports shirt of Ralph's to make the curtain. Ha! Trixie wishes that she would do something with Ed's old shirts. She washes, scrubs, boils and then burns them. Trixie leaves. Ralph comes home with Ed and after telling Ed that right now he doesn't want to have Alice know that he lost his job, Ralph tells Alice just that. Ralph: "As of Monday, I am no longer driving a bus for the Madison Avenue Bus Company." I guess that the name of the bus company changed. Ralph says that the reason that he was fired was because some woman made a complaint about him. Ralph says that he was fired at a very significant time after 17 years. Ralph: "They had plenty of reasons to fire me, but Mr. Marshall waited until the last minute Just until I was about to get my pension. I had 13 years to go." Their pension is gone as well as their plans for the future. Their dreams about retiring to Miami Beach with them getting $135 a month is gone. Ed: "It is cruel. Cruel. Cruel. Cruel." Alice says that they will have to live of whatever money they have. Ralph: "Swell. That will take care for tonight, but what about tomorrow?" Ha! Ralph has to pay the gas, electric, insurance as well as payments on the ice box. Ralph wonders what he will tell the landlord about the rent. Alice suggests telling the landlord to wait a few days. Ralph: "I told him that when I was working." Ed suggests that Ralph do what Ed and his fellow workers do to their boss in the sewer which is drown him. Ha! Ralph hits on the idea that he will write a nasty letter to Mr. J.J. Marshall. Alice objects but her opinion falls on deaf ears. Ralph tells Alice to write what Ralph says but Alice says no and goes upstairs. Ralph then gets Norton to write what Ralph says. Ed warms up, so Ralph yells at him to stop. Ralph doesn't want his boss to think that this is some crank letter and wrote this letter with consideration. Here is the letter that Ralph wanted to write to him:
"Dear Mr. Marshall:
You dirty bum! After giving you the best years of my life, you fired me. You are a miserable worm. You ought to turn in your membership card to the human race. After what you did to me, I can truthfully say that you are the world's meanest man. You dirty bum!"
Respectfully yours,
Etc. Etc. Etc.
P.S.: In the future, I may need a reference. So you may hear from me again.
MPI Video, in regards to the lost episode version called "Letter To The Boss", says that the letter used in that version is a classic Kramden letter. The old Honeymooners.net, in regards to the lost episode version, says that the line of: "You dirty bum!" is delivered with such conviction that it looks like Ralph invented the insult for the occasion. This should to be shown to every getting a job-related class under the heading: "What NOT to write to your boss after you get fired." Ralph says that the address of the bus company is River Street, New York City. I guess that were are supposed to believe that the bus company changed it's name and moved back to River Street since in the lost episode version, the company was located at 255 River Street and then in the Classic 39, it moved somewhere else. Either that, or Ralph now works at a different bus company. Ed goes out to mail the letter and leaves. Alice comes back down and suggests that he get a manager at a restaurant called The 5 and 10. Ralph says no because he doesn't want her to work no matter what. A bus driver named Scottie (played by George Petrie) comes by and says that Ralph hasn't been fired, but promoted. Scottie leaves. Ralph leaves to go get Ed before he mails the letter and tells Alice to make sure that she can get that job at the 5 and 10.
Outside, before Ralph can get Norton to not mail that letter, Ed just put letter in the mail box. Ralph: "I wasn't fired. I was promoted." Ed: "Congratulations Ralph." Ralph: "What are you congratulating me for?" Ralph tries to get Ed to put his arm into the mailbox. Ed says no because it's a federal offense and he can go to jail for 20 years Ralph: "That is a chance that we will have to take." Wow! What a friend. Ed: "I can't stand the thought of being cooped up in a dark place with no running water. Ralph tries to get the letter out, but Ed says that someone is coming. Ed was just practicing to say that, so Ralph gets angry with him. Ralph tries to put his arm in again. He puts his arm down further, but it gets stuck…just in time for a policeman to come. Ralph tries to act like nothing is happening. Ed: "I am not with that young man by the mailbox. Isn't that right Ralph?" The cop leaves. Ed tries to free Ralph. Ed: "The mailbox is easier to move than you are even though the mailbox is bolted to the ground." Ed goes into the ice cream shop to get some butter to lubricate his arm to get it out. He leaves. A kid (probably the same one that appeared in "Confusion, Italian Style") comes by and asks Ralph if he can mail his letter for him. This is one of those rare Honeymooners episodes that Jackie allowed a kid to star in. Ralph is acting mean in front of the kid by saying that he won't mail the kid's letter. All this time, Jackie moved his arm out of the mailbox a little bit to reveal the fact that it wasn't really stuck. The kid kicks Ralph's leg and a thump sound is heard. Ralph screams in pain. He then agrees to mail the kid's letter. The kid leaves. Ed comes back with the butter. Ralph tries to lubricate his arm. Ed tries to pull on Ralph's other arm. Ed accidentally rips Ralph's sleeve off. That plan didn't work. So Ed tries to make the mailbox vibrate in hopes that it will free Ralph since he thinks it will loosen metal things from bolts. He gets the Bus Stop sign and hits the mailbox with it. Not only does the mailbox "vibrate", but so does Ralph. That works Ralph is upset but he realizes that he is now free. The mailman comes by to collect the mail so Ralph tries to get his mailed letter from the mailman. The mailman says that he can't. Ralph explains to him what he did. The mailman relents and gives him the letter. Ed wrote down SWAK on the back of it. Ralph: "You wrote Sealed with a Kiss?" Ed: "No. Sewer Workers Are Kings." Ralph & Ed are happy that they got the letter back so they sing. "Never Put Anything In Writing." After this, the kid comes out and asks Ralph if he mailed his letter. He forgot to and accidentally gives his hateful-letter and then the kid puts it in the mailbox. He realizes this when he takes "his" letter out of his pocket and reads: Santa Claus. North Pole?" (This episode was shown right before Christmas in '67.)
The next day, Ralph tries to get the letter before his boss reads it, even going as far as messing up the mail that his secretary put on Mr. Marshall's desk. He fails. The secretary (played by Marijane Maricle) congratulates Ralph on his promotion and she tells him that he is replacing Mr. Sullivan who got fired for calling Mr. Marshall an old fuddy-duddy. She leaves. The boss (who gets an ovation) comes in and he reads Ralph's letter. He doesn't mind the insults because he always gets them but becomes mad when the author didn't sign his name. He thinks the letter is from Mr. Sullivan. I guess Mr. Sullivan lives in the same apartment building as Ralph.
In the next scene, you can tell that the first few minutes were edited because the girls are already in mid-conversation. Ralph Kramden comes home with Chinese food. Ralph: "We are going to celebrate." The audience laughs probably because they know the ending of this episode. Ralph explains to the girls that due to Ed's stupidity in writing "Etc. Etc. Etc." at the end of his letter, Ralph still has his promotion. They all sing: "There Is No One Lucky As I. Ed comes down to explain the fact that he went down and said Ralph didn't mean all of those insults that he wrote in the letter. He felt he had to do it out of niceness. Everyone is upset.
During the curtain call, Jackie says that the coffee he is drinking is mountain grown. It must be Folgers. He praises the Miami Beach audience and introduces the cast. In the syndicated version, we never found out who really played Mr. Marshall. I think in the credits of both versions, the actor's name is not listed. Of course, in the uncut version, Jackie Gleason introduces Paul Ford who played Mr. Marshall.
Episode #199 (Syndicated episode #28)
TV: Hour (edited)
DVD: Attached to "Boy Next Door" & "Follow The Boys."
Color Episode Title: “Sleepy Time Gal”
Lost Episode Title: “The Hypnotist”
Air Date: 9/28/68
"Sleepy Time Gal":
In the Nick Clooney intro, he says there will be hypnotism in this episode and he brings up a real life story of how Youtoo TV arranged a dinner with him, his wife, Marylyn Gleason, Jean Kean and her husband. At the dinner, he sees Dick Van Patten. He racked his brain to see what part Dick had in any of Jackie's shows. Nick then says he remembers Dick's wife was a June Taylor Dancer and that Dick never had a role in any of Jackie's shows. Nick then says that Nina (Dick's wife), Marylyn and Jean Kean all had great stories to tell about Jackie Gleason.
I did a tape trade with Videowack and managed to get the UNCUT version of this episode (well, more uncut than the one that was on Youtoo America and Familynet.) This means that thee person who recorded, must have either recorded this when this episode originally aired or when this episode was repeated on CBS or this is a 16mm print. That person could have been one of the first people to own a VCR because I got this copy in January 2007 which is one year before the episode made its way onto the home video market.
I also have the version of this episode that was either recorded from CBS or a 16mm print. The reason why I have two versions is because I did a tape trade with a guy in 2005. That guy had the syndie version of this episode and I did a tape trade with Videowack in 2006. Videowack had the non-syndie version of this episode. The syndication version, as expected, edited out the opening dance number which includes a shot of the Raccoons at the Raccoon Lodge watching dancers (June Taylor Dancers) come out and sing: "Baby Me." As they do this, they grab some Raccoons and put baby bonnets on their heads. They leave. The Raccoons take the bonnets off. The meeting is called to order. They are having the meeting in a big banquet meeting. Ralph tells about the Raccoon convention. Ralph says in choosing the city they had to have three important things. It had to be inexpensive, it had to have free entertainment and they didn't want a city that was going to make a fast book on conventions and tourists. Ralph says it was narrowed down to two cities: Las Vegas, Nevada & Miami Beach, Florida. He is happy to say that the city that is chosen is Miami Beach. They are going to be staying at the same hotel that they stayed at three years ago when they had their convention down there. The hotel name? The Hotel Alligator. Ralph then says that he was on the phone with the manager's hotel. Ralph says that the manager of the hotel stating that one of the Raccoons went into the bar one night after closing hours. Ralph says that he will severely reprimand the person who did that. He asks for that person to stand up. Everyone (except Ralph and the president of the Raccoons) stand up. Ralph says: "Don't do it again." The president says that they have some entertainment lined up. One of their members, Henry Wranker, is a hypnotist that goes by the name of The Great Fatchoomara. He is also from the Bayonne Lodge of the Raccoons. The G.F. makes his entrance (complete with cape). The studio audience applauds. His first act is bringing Ralph and Ed up for hypnotism. He tries to hypnotize Ed by asking him to look at the watch as it swings back and forth. Ed says that the watch is three minutes slow. After a while, Ed is finally hypnotized Ed into thinking he is at his job. Ed walks around in the "sewer" and sees Ralph and thinks that it is Moby. That is funny. He hypnotizes Ralph (who says that he doesn't believe in that stuff) and Norton and tells Ralph he is Norton, and Norton, Ralph. He tells them they're at a bowling alley, and each acts as if he's the other: "Ralph" wants to bowl first instead of "Norton." "Norton": "Gee, what a grouch." "Ralph" gets ready to bowl while "Ed" annoys him. "Ralph" bowls a "strike" and dances in celebration. "Norton" prepares to bowl in typical Norton fashion. "Ed" accidentally "hits" "Ralph" in the stomach with the ball. "Ralph" screams in pain in typical "Ralph" fashion. "Ralph" challenges "Ed" to fight, but the G.F. breaks them up and changes them back into their normal identities but before that, he brings them out of their trances, he gives them a posthypnotic suggestion: Whenever they're seated and hear the name Miami Beach, they'll think they're on a bed of hot, scorching sand. After he snaps Ed and Ralph into their usual selves, Ralph says that he can't be hypnotized. When Mike asks everyone where the convention is going to be held, they yell: "MIAMI BEACH!" Ralph and Ed yell because they think that they are on hot sand.
At home, Ralph tells Ed that he is bringing a box of 50 cherry bombs, a trick glass, a shock stick and chattering teeth. When Ralph puts down the chattering teeth, he has some trouble getting it to stop, so he hits it with the shock stick. (I wonder if that was in the original script.) Ralph says that he will also bring paper bags to drop out the hotel window. I think that Ed says that during a Raccoon convention in New York, the police ordered some Raccoons in hotel to stop throwing water bags out the window. Ed didn't obey. He kept on throwing water bags out until he almost drowned (the window was closed.) Ralph: "That figures, with you doing it." Ed told a variation same story in "Unconventional Behavior." A Raccoon convention in New York? Ralph and Ed probably wouldn't have had to travel far for that one considering that they live in BROOKLYN. Ralph also says that he will bring his toy gun that he bought. When he brings it out, the teeth start chattering again and they have to get it to stop. He says that he will use the gun to tease people to think that he is a robber. Ralph says that he has no money and he will get it from Alice. Alice comes out. Ralph tries the flattery routine to coax some money out of Alice. Ralph: "By the way cupcake..." Ed: "What is it Ralph?" Ralph: "Alice is cupcake. You are a piece of fruitcake." Ralph then says that the convention is coming up and asks Alice to invite her mother to come by. Alice: "You are not getting a dime." Ralph: "Then that BAT isn't getting in here." Alice says that she's having none of the flattery--she's saving the money. Ralph: "When you save the money, you can't take it with you." Alice: "You are right. I never go anyplace." What about the trip (or two) to Europe, the (two) trips to Fred's Landing and the trips to Atlantic City? She is saving the money to buy furniture. Ralph says that they got more than enough furniture. Sure! Alice says that the Raccoon conventions are crazy and every time she saves money, he goes wasting it. Alice: "The only thing that is overstuffed around here is YOU." Ralph: "That is the same line that your mother used when I threw her out bodily." Alice goes back into the bedroom. Ralph says that Alice never loved him and was only in love with his uniform. Ralph has one of his all-time-great brainstorms: they will get the Great Fatchoomara to hypnotize Alice so she'll tell Ralph where she's hidden the money. Ralph says that the G.F. will help him since he's a fellow Raccoon member and the Raccoon slogan is: "E Pluribus Raccoonibus." Ralph & Ed sing: "It Looks Like We Are Going To The Big Convention."
The next day Alice is in Max's candy store, making a telephone call and in walk Ralph and Norton to call Fatchoomara. They don't know it is Alice in the telephone booth, and while they're waiting for her to hang up. They discuss Ralph's scheme. Ralph: "I may have discovered the greatest boon to married men since the aspirin." They try to get the woman out. Ed concocts a scheme. They will go across the street, call here, and tell this lady that she is wanted home and they will go back here and call the G.F. Ralph says that that idea is stupid because this phone would be busy if they did that (this episode was obviously done before call waiting was invented.) Ed says that they will go across the street to call the G.F., but they don't have to call here. Ralph thinks that that is a good idea. They leave. Alice calls the library and asks for information on hypnotism. She spells it out. Alice: "H-y-n-o-p..." Yes, Shelia slightly flubbed her line when she tried to spell hypnotism.
Time for the middle commercial bumper.
At home, Alice is with Trixie. Alice reveals that what Ralph just said earlier in the day and that she plans on fighting the hypnotism. They both sing: "The Day A Woman Can't Outsmart A Man." The boys (along with the G.F.) arrive. Ed says that Trixie should leave to get some beef steak for that black eye that she will get if she doesn't go upstairs. She leaves. Ralph introduces Henry Wranker. Ed: "Professionally known as the Great Fatchoomara." Ralph acts as if Ed almost blew his whole plan. Alice asks what he does for a living. Ed says that he's a lawyer. Ralph says that Henry likes antiques so he wants him to see his stick pen. Alice: "Don't show him that. Show him the ice box." The G.F. shows her the watch. When Fatchoomara tries to hypnotize Alice, Alice is ready for him and fakes being hypnotized into thinking that she is a dog while the boys accidentally get hypnotized into thinking that they are dogs. When Henry sees this, he snaps the boys out. Ralph: "I wish you would hypnotize me. I just want to see how it feels." When Ralph asks Henry to ask Alice where the money is, he says: "All is fair in love and war." Ed: "In this marriage, it's a little bit of both." Ralph then reveals his plan when he gets the money. He will hide it back in the place where Alice put it and take it with him at the last second. When Ed questions him about what he will do when he comes back and finds out that Alice found out that the money is missing, he is stumped. Ed: "Are you (the G.F.) are going to be available in a few weeks?" Ralph says that he will think of something before then. Under hypnotism, Alice shows Ralph where she's hidden the money. As Alice is trying to show the money, she is showing where certain things are in order for her to get the money. Getting agitated, Ralph says, if there is another key, he is going to make sure that she gets hers. The money is shown. Ralph: "There is $180 here. She was going to blow this on furniture. The G.F. tells Alice to go into the bedroom and take a nap and that she won't remember any of this. Alice leaves the room. As Ralph and Ed talk about the convention, Mike says that he can't go because his wife won't let him.
On the train to the convention, the Raccoons are on the bar car and they are drinking and having fun. Ralph relates the whole story to Rocky (the Raccoon with the raspy voice). Ralph then tells the rest of the story to some more Raccoons. Ralph says that Alice will have to get up early in the morning to put something over on him. Ed plays the Raccoon National Anthem on the piano which goes:
"From the hallowed streets of Greenpernt,
To the shores of Sheepshead Bay,
From the Verrazano Narrows,
To Canarsie across the way...
We have come together, one and all,
In fellowship to commune,
And to glorify the Grand Exalted
Brotherhood of Raccoons."
All of them sit down. When the bill for the bar comes, Ralph offers to pay it. The tab is $13.89. He opens the money box, but instead of finding the cash he finds some toy snakes and a note -- from Alice. Ed reads it: "Dear Ralph, I may not be a hypnotist like the Great Fatchoomara but I have made a monkey out of a Raccoon." Ralph is upset. All the Raccoons retire for the night. Ralph & Ed sit down. Ed pays the tab for Ralph. Ralph doesn't know what he will do. Just then, a fellow Raccoon (I think) approaches Ralph with an envelope that is from Alice. Ralph opens it to find more than $100 in there along with a note. Dear Ralph: I thought I let you suffer for the dirty trick that you played on me. In spite of everything, I decided to give you the money. I guess any man that works as hard as you do all year is entitled to some fun. Have a good time. Love, Alice." If this episode was going to be shown on TV today, you would hear the studio audience say: "Awwwwww!" Ralph says that he doesn't deserve a wife like Alice. He is going to use some of the money to buy Alice a present. What is the present? An Indian head carved out of a coconut. Ralph & Ed leave the car.
At the curtain call, Jackie says: "How sweet it is!" He praises the Miami Beach audience. He introduces the cast. The guy who played the G.F. was played by Richard Deacon. (Jackie said Robert by mistake, I think.) He then introduces the regular cast members. Shelia comes out with striped pajamas and tossing dollar bills out for fun.
When the credits roll, the credits are in a different font. I liked the ending of this version of "The Hypnotist" better than the original one because of the fact that Alice let Ralph have the money after all. Shelia's Alice was certainly the gentler Alice.
Credit I believe goes to tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Yahoo! Groups You’re A Riot! & amazon.com
Episode #198 (Syndicated episode #27)
TV: Hour-long musical.
DVD: Attached to "The Main Event" & "Two Faces of Ralph Kramden"
Color Honeymooners Title: "To Whomever It May Concern."
Lost Episode Title: "Letter To The Boss."
Air Date: 12/16/67
"To Whomever It May Concern":
These episode beings with a shot of “Ralph's bus” (actually a real toy bus that was manufactured with Jackie Gleason’s characters’ faces on the windows) pulling into the bus terminal. The June Taylor Dancers enter into the bus terminal and sing and dance to a song I think is called: “Bus Station.” According to the lyrics, the bus station is perfect for love. Of course, it is. (Note the sarcasm.) At the end of the song, Johnny Olsen (as the bus station announcer over the P.A.) announces that a bus will be leaving from platform 6. When I first saw this episode, it was the syndicated version. The syndicated episode opens with the shot of “Ralph’s bus” pulling into the station. I thought I heard laughter and assumed that one of the June Taylor Dancers did something funny. After watching the uncut version, I can now say that they didn’t do anything funny. Ralph greets Ed in the lobby of the bus terminal. Ralph says that there ought to be a law that forbids women to ride the bus. Ralph: "They ought to ride the subway. Where the driver is in a booth and they can't bother him." Ralph says that a woman is going to report her. Ralph picked her up at Cline's on 14th street. She comes on the bus and has nothing smaller than a twenty dollar bill. Ralph didn't do it because the bus company says that he doesn't have to change anything over $5 and the union says that he doesn't have to change anything over $1. Ha! She was steamed at Ralph because he broke her lamp. Ralph: "I told her to get off the bus. She wouldn't move." Ed: "Was that after you broke her lamp?" Ralph: "No, that was after I broke her umbrella." Ralph would have called a cop but while he was arguing with her, he ran into the back of a police car. A guy named Fred comes by and says to Ralph that he got a call from the main office. Mr. Marshall says that Ralph should turn in his uniform Monday morning. Ralph isn't driving a bus anymore. Fred doesn't have any more details and leaves. Ralph is worried that he lost his job because that woman filled a complaint against him, so he tries to call him. Ralph is unsuccessful in trying to get him. Ralph complains about all the inconveniences he had to put up with as a driver like drunks trying to get on the bus without paying, old women yelling at him etc. Ed: "Don't worry Ralph you will get another job." Ralph: "Sure, I will but not a good one like this one." Ha! Ed tries to cheer Ralph up, but only makes Ralph feel worse. Ralph wonders what he will do after this job because he doesn't have a decent education. He was a school drop out. Ed: "I was working in the sewer all these years because I was a drop in." Ralph & Ed sing a very important song called: "Stay In School." That song should be sung to everyone who thinks of dropping out.
Alice is home and Trixie stops by to borrow some onions. Alice is making new curtains for the bedroom window. Alice is using an old sports shirt of Ralph's to make the curtain. Ha! Trixie wishes that she would do something with Ed's old shirts. She washes, scrubs, boils and then burns them. Trixie leaves. Ralph comes home with Ed and after telling Ed that right now he doesn't want to have Alice know that he lost his job, Ralph tells Alice just that. Ralph: "As of Monday, I am no longer driving a bus for the Madison Avenue Bus Company." I guess that the name of the bus company changed. Ralph says that the reason that he was fired was because some woman made a complaint about him. Ralph says that he was fired at a very significant time after 17 years. Ralph: "They had plenty of reasons to fire me, but Mr. Marshall waited until the last minute Just until I was about to get my pension. I had 13 years to go." Their pension is gone as well as their plans for the future. Their dreams about retiring to Miami Beach with them getting $135 a month is gone. Ed: "It is cruel. Cruel. Cruel. Cruel." Alice says that they will have to live of whatever money they have. Ralph: "Swell. That will take care for tonight, but what about tomorrow?" Ha! Ralph has to pay the gas, electric, insurance as well as payments on the ice box. Ralph wonders what he will tell the landlord about the rent. Alice suggests telling the landlord to wait a few days. Ralph: "I told him that when I was working." Ed suggests that Ralph do what Ed and his fellow workers do to their boss in the sewer which is drown him. Ha! Ralph hits on the idea that he will write a nasty letter to Mr. J.J. Marshall. Alice objects but her opinion falls on deaf ears. Ralph tells Alice to write what Ralph says but Alice says no and goes upstairs. Ralph then gets Norton to write what Ralph says. Ed warms up, so Ralph yells at him to stop. Ralph doesn't want his boss to think that this is some crank letter and wrote this letter with consideration. Here is the letter that Ralph wanted to write to him:
"Dear Mr. Marshall:
You dirty bum! After giving you the best years of my life, you fired me. You are a miserable worm. You ought to turn in your membership card to the human race. After what you did to me, I can truthfully say that you are the world's meanest man. You dirty bum!"
Respectfully yours,
Etc. Etc. Etc.
P.S.: In the future, I may need a reference. So you may hear from me again.
MPI Video, in regards to the lost episode version called "Letter To The Boss", says that the letter used in that version is a classic Kramden letter. The old Honeymooners.net, in regards to the lost episode version, says that the line of: "You dirty bum!" is delivered with such conviction that it looks like Ralph invented the insult for the occasion. This should to be shown to every getting a job-related class under the heading: "What NOT to write to your boss after you get fired." Ralph says that the address of the bus company is River Street, New York City. I guess that were are supposed to believe that the bus company changed it's name and moved back to River Street since in the lost episode version, the company was located at 255 River Street and then in the Classic 39, it moved somewhere else. Either that, or Ralph now works at a different bus company. Ed goes out to mail the letter and leaves. Alice comes back down and suggests that he get a manager at a restaurant called The 5 and 10. Ralph says no because he doesn't want her to work no matter what. A bus driver named Scottie (played by George Petrie) comes by and says that Ralph hasn't been fired, but promoted. Scottie leaves. Ralph leaves to go get Ed before he mails the letter and tells Alice to make sure that she can get that job at the 5 and 10.
Outside, before Ralph can get Norton to not mail that letter, Ed just put letter in the mail box. Ralph: "I wasn't fired. I was promoted." Ed: "Congratulations Ralph." Ralph: "What are you congratulating me for?" Ralph tries to get Ed to put his arm into the mailbox. Ed says no because it's a federal offense and he can go to jail for 20 years Ralph: "That is a chance that we will have to take." Wow! What a friend. Ed: "I can't stand the thought of being cooped up in a dark place with no running water. Ralph tries to get the letter out, but Ed says that someone is coming. Ed was just practicing to say that, so Ralph gets angry with him. Ralph tries to put his arm in again. He puts his arm down further, but it gets stuck…just in time for a policeman to come. Ralph tries to act like nothing is happening. Ed: "I am not with that young man by the mailbox. Isn't that right Ralph?" The cop leaves. Ed tries to free Ralph. Ed: "The mailbox is easier to move than you are even though the mailbox is bolted to the ground." Ed goes into the ice cream shop to get some butter to lubricate his arm to get it out. He leaves. A kid (probably the same one that appeared in "Confusion, Italian Style") comes by and asks Ralph if he can mail his letter for him. This is one of those rare Honeymooners episodes that Jackie allowed a kid to star in. Ralph is acting mean in front of the kid by saying that he won't mail the kid's letter. All this time, Jackie moved his arm out of the mailbox a little bit to reveal the fact that it wasn't really stuck. The kid kicks Ralph's leg and a thump sound is heard. Ralph screams in pain. He then agrees to mail the kid's letter. The kid leaves. Ed comes back with the butter. Ralph tries to lubricate his arm. Ed tries to pull on Ralph's other arm. Ed accidentally rips Ralph's sleeve off. That plan didn't work. So Ed tries to make the mailbox vibrate in hopes that it will free Ralph since he thinks it will loosen metal things from bolts. He gets the Bus Stop sign and hits the mailbox with it. Not only does the mailbox "vibrate", but so does Ralph. That works Ralph is upset but he realizes that he is now free. The mailman comes by to collect the mail so Ralph tries to get his mailed letter from the mailman. The mailman says that he can't. Ralph explains to him what he did. The mailman relents and gives him the letter. Ed wrote down SWAK on the back of it. Ralph: "You wrote Sealed with a Kiss?" Ed: "No. Sewer Workers Are Kings." Ralph & Ed are happy that they got the letter back so they sing. "Never Put Anything In Writing." After this, the kid comes out and asks Ralph if he mailed his letter. He forgot to and accidentally gives his hateful-letter and then the kid puts it in the mailbox. He realizes this when he takes "his" letter out of his pocket and reads: Santa Claus. North Pole?" (This episode was shown right before Christmas in '67.)
The next day, Ralph tries to get the letter before his boss reads it, even going as far as messing up the mail that his secretary put on Mr. Marshall's desk. He fails. The secretary (played by Marijane Maricle) congratulates Ralph on his promotion and she tells him that he is replacing Mr. Sullivan who got fired for calling Mr. Marshall an old fuddy-duddy. She leaves. The boss (who gets an ovation) comes in and he reads Ralph's letter. He doesn't mind the insults because he always gets them but becomes mad when the author didn't sign his name. He thinks the letter is from Mr. Sullivan. I guess Mr. Sullivan lives in the same apartment building as Ralph.
In the next scene, you can tell that the first few minutes were edited because the girls are already in mid-conversation. Ralph Kramden comes home with Chinese food. Ralph: "We are going to celebrate." The audience laughs probably because they know the ending of this episode. Ralph explains to the girls that due to Ed's stupidity in writing "Etc. Etc. Etc." at the end of his letter, Ralph still has his promotion. They all sing: "There Is No One Lucky As I. Ed comes down to explain the fact that he went down and said Ralph didn't mean all of those insults that he wrote in the letter. He felt he had to do it out of niceness. Everyone is upset.
During the curtain call, Jackie says that the coffee he is drinking is mountain grown. It must be Folgers. He praises the Miami Beach audience and introduces the cast. In the syndicated version, we never found out who really played Mr. Marshall. I think in the credits of both versions, the actor's name is not listed. Of course, in the uncut version, Jackie Gleason introduces Paul Ford who played Mr. Marshall.
Episode #199 (Syndicated episode #28)
TV: Hour (edited)
DVD: Attached to "Boy Next Door" & "Follow The Boys."
Color Episode Title: “Sleepy Time Gal”
Lost Episode Title: “The Hypnotist”
Air Date: 9/28/68
"Sleepy Time Gal":
In the Nick Clooney intro, he says there will be hypnotism in this episode and he brings up a real life story of how Youtoo TV arranged a dinner with him, his wife, Marylyn Gleason, Jean Kean and her husband. At the dinner, he sees Dick Van Patten. He racked his brain to see what part Dick had in any of Jackie's shows. Nick then says he remembers Dick's wife was a June Taylor Dancer and that Dick never had a role in any of Jackie's shows. Nick then says that Nina (Dick's wife), Marylyn and Jean Kean all had great stories to tell about Jackie Gleason.
I did a tape trade with Videowack and managed to get the UNCUT version of this episode (well, more uncut than the one that was on Youtoo America and Familynet.) This means that thee person who recorded, must have either recorded this when this episode originally aired or when this episode was repeated on CBS or this is a 16mm print. That person could have been one of the first people to own a VCR because I got this copy in January 2007 which is one year before the episode made its way onto the home video market.
I also have the version of this episode that was either recorded from CBS or a 16mm print. The reason why I have two versions is because I did a tape trade with a guy in 2005. That guy had the syndie version of this episode and I did a tape trade with Videowack in 2006. Videowack had the non-syndie version of this episode. The syndication version, as expected, edited out the opening dance number which includes a shot of the Raccoons at the Raccoon Lodge watching dancers (June Taylor Dancers) come out and sing: "Baby Me." As they do this, they grab some Raccoons and put baby bonnets on their heads. They leave. The Raccoons take the bonnets off. The meeting is called to order. They are having the meeting in a big banquet meeting. Ralph tells about the Raccoon convention. Ralph says in choosing the city they had to have three important things. It had to be inexpensive, it had to have free entertainment and they didn't want a city that was going to make a fast book on conventions and tourists. Ralph says it was narrowed down to two cities: Las Vegas, Nevada & Miami Beach, Florida. He is happy to say that the city that is chosen is Miami Beach. They are going to be staying at the same hotel that they stayed at three years ago when they had their convention down there. The hotel name? The Hotel Alligator. Ralph then says that he was on the phone with the manager's hotel. Ralph says that the manager of the hotel stating that one of the Raccoons went into the bar one night after closing hours. Ralph says that he will severely reprimand the person who did that. He asks for that person to stand up. Everyone (except Ralph and the president of the Raccoons) stand up. Ralph says: "Don't do it again." The president says that they have some entertainment lined up. One of their members, Henry Wranker, is a hypnotist that goes by the name of The Great Fatchoomara. He is also from the Bayonne Lodge of the Raccoons. The G.F. makes his entrance (complete with cape). The studio audience applauds. His first act is bringing Ralph and Ed up for hypnotism. He tries to hypnotize Ed by asking him to look at the watch as it swings back and forth. Ed says that the watch is three minutes slow. After a while, Ed is finally hypnotized Ed into thinking he is at his job. Ed walks around in the "sewer" and sees Ralph and thinks that it is Moby. That is funny. He hypnotizes Ralph (who says that he doesn't believe in that stuff) and Norton and tells Ralph he is Norton, and Norton, Ralph. He tells them they're at a bowling alley, and each acts as if he's the other: "Ralph" wants to bowl first instead of "Norton." "Norton": "Gee, what a grouch." "Ralph" gets ready to bowl while "Ed" annoys him. "Ralph" bowls a "strike" and dances in celebration. "Norton" prepares to bowl in typical Norton fashion. "Ed" accidentally "hits" "Ralph" in the stomach with the ball. "Ralph" screams in pain in typical "Ralph" fashion. "Ralph" challenges "Ed" to fight, but the G.F. breaks them up and changes them back into their normal identities but before that, he brings them out of their trances, he gives them a posthypnotic suggestion: Whenever they're seated and hear the name Miami Beach, they'll think they're on a bed of hot, scorching sand. After he snaps Ed and Ralph into their usual selves, Ralph says that he can't be hypnotized. When Mike asks everyone where the convention is going to be held, they yell: "MIAMI BEACH!" Ralph and Ed yell because they think that they are on hot sand.
At home, Ralph tells Ed that he is bringing a box of 50 cherry bombs, a trick glass, a shock stick and chattering teeth. When Ralph puts down the chattering teeth, he has some trouble getting it to stop, so he hits it with the shock stick. (I wonder if that was in the original script.) Ralph says that he will also bring paper bags to drop out the hotel window. I think that Ed says that during a Raccoon convention in New York, the police ordered some Raccoons in hotel to stop throwing water bags out the window. Ed didn't obey. He kept on throwing water bags out until he almost drowned (the window was closed.) Ralph: "That figures, with you doing it." Ed told a variation same story in "Unconventional Behavior." A Raccoon convention in New York? Ralph and Ed probably wouldn't have had to travel far for that one considering that they live in BROOKLYN. Ralph also says that he will bring his toy gun that he bought. When he brings it out, the teeth start chattering again and they have to get it to stop. He says that he will use the gun to tease people to think that he is a robber. Ralph says that he has no money and he will get it from Alice. Alice comes out. Ralph tries the flattery routine to coax some money out of Alice. Ralph: "By the way cupcake..." Ed: "What is it Ralph?" Ralph: "Alice is cupcake. You are a piece of fruitcake." Ralph then says that the convention is coming up and asks Alice to invite her mother to come by. Alice: "You are not getting a dime." Ralph: "Then that BAT isn't getting in here." Alice says that she's having none of the flattery--she's saving the money. Ralph: "When you save the money, you can't take it with you." Alice: "You are right. I never go anyplace." What about the trip (or two) to Europe, the (two) trips to Fred's Landing and the trips to Atlantic City? She is saving the money to buy furniture. Ralph says that they got more than enough furniture. Sure! Alice says that the Raccoon conventions are crazy and every time she saves money, he goes wasting it. Alice: "The only thing that is overstuffed around here is YOU." Ralph: "That is the same line that your mother used when I threw her out bodily." Alice goes back into the bedroom. Ralph says that Alice never loved him and was only in love with his uniform. Ralph has one of his all-time-great brainstorms: they will get the Great Fatchoomara to hypnotize Alice so she'll tell Ralph where she's hidden the money. Ralph says that the G.F. will help him since he's a fellow Raccoon member and the Raccoon slogan is: "E Pluribus Raccoonibus." Ralph & Ed sing: "It Looks Like We Are Going To The Big Convention."
The next day Alice is in Max's candy store, making a telephone call and in walk Ralph and Norton to call Fatchoomara. They don't know it is Alice in the telephone booth, and while they're waiting for her to hang up. They discuss Ralph's scheme. Ralph: "I may have discovered the greatest boon to married men since the aspirin." They try to get the woman out. Ed concocts a scheme. They will go across the street, call here, and tell this lady that she is wanted home and they will go back here and call the G.F. Ralph says that that idea is stupid because this phone would be busy if they did that (this episode was obviously done before call waiting was invented.) Ed says that they will go across the street to call the G.F., but they don't have to call here. Ralph thinks that that is a good idea. They leave. Alice calls the library and asks for information on hypnotism. She spells it out. Alice: "H-y-n-o-p..." Yes, Shelia slightly flubbed her line when she tried to spell hypnotism.
Time for the middle commercial bumper.
At home, Alice is with Trixie. Alice reveals that what Ralph just said earlier in the day and that she plans on fighting the hypnotism. They both sing: "The Day A Woman Can't Outsmart A Man." The boys (along with the G.F.) arrive. Ed says that Trixie should leave to get some beef steak for that black eye that she will get if she doesn't go upstairs. She leaves. Ralph introduces Henry Wranker. Ed: "Professionally known as the Great Fatchoomara." Ralph acts as if Ed almost blew his whole plan. Alice asks what he does for a living. Ed says that he's a lawyer. Ralph says that Henry likes antiques so he wants him to see his stick pen. Alice: "Don't show him that. Show him the ice box." The G.F. shows her the watch. When Fatchoomara tries to hypnotize Alice, Alice is ready for him and fakes being hypnotized into thinking that she is a dog while the boys accidentally get hypnotized into thinking that they are dogs. When Henry sees this, he snaps the boys out. Ralph: "I wish you would hypnotize me. I just want to see how it feels." When Ralph asks Henry to ask Alice where the money is, he says: "All is fair in love and war." Ed: "In this marriage, it's a little bit of both." Ralph then reveals his plan when he gets the money. He will hide it back in the place where Alice put it and take it with him at the last second. When Ed questions him about what he will do when he comes back and finds out that Alice found out that the money is missing, he is stumped. Ed: "Are you (the G.F.) are going to be available in a few weeks?" Ralph says that he will think of something before then. Under hypnotism, Alice shows Ralph where she's hidden the money. As Alice is trying to show the money, she is showing where certain things are in order for her to get the money. Getting agitated, Ralph says, if there is another key, he is going to make sure that she gets hers. The money is shown. Ralph: "There is $180 here. She was going to blow this on furniture. The G.F. tells Alice to go into the bedroom and take a nap and that she won't remember any of this. Alice leaves the room. As Ralph and Ed talk about the convention, Mike says that he can't go because his wife won't let him.
On the train to the convention, the Raccoons are on the bar car and they are drinking and having fun. Ralph relates the whole story to Rocky (the Raccoon with the raspy voice). Ralph then tells the rest of the story to some more Raccoons. Ralph says that Alice will have to get up early in the morning to put something over on him. Ed plays the Raccoon National Anthem on the piano which goes:
"From the hallowed streets of Greenpernt,
To the shores of Sheepshead Bay,
From the Verrazano Narrows,
To Canarsie across the way...
We have come together, one and all,
In fellowship to commune,
And to glorify the Grand Exalted
Brotherhood of Raccoons."
All of them sit down. When the bill for the bar comes, Ralph offers to pay it. The tab is $13.89. He opens the money box, but instead of finding the cash he finds some toy snakes and a note -- from Alice. Ed reads it: "Dear Ralph, I may not be a hypnotist like the Great Fatchoomara but I have made a monkey out of a Raccoon." Ralph is upset. All the Raccoons retire for the night. Ralph & Ed sit down. Ed pays the tab for Ralph. Ralph doesn't know what he will do. Just then, a fellow Raccoon (I think) approaches Ralph with an envelope that is from Alice. Ralph opens it to find more than $100 in there along with a note. Dear Ralph: I thought I let you suffer for the dirty trick that you played on me. In spite of everything, I decided to give you the money. I guess any man that works as hard as you do all year is entitled to some fun. Have a good time. Love, Alice." If this episode was going to be shown on TV today, you would hear the studio audience say: "Awwwwww!" Ralph says that he doesn't deserve a wife like Alice. He is going to use some of the money to buy Alice a present. What is the present? An Indian head carved out of a coconut. Ralph & Ed leave the car.
At the curtain call, Jackie says: "How sweet it is!" He praises the Miami Beach audience. He introduces the cast. The guy who played the G.F. was played by Richard Deacon. (Jackie said Robert by mistake, I think.) He then introduces the regular cast members. Shelia comes out with striped pajamas and tossing dollar bills out for fun.
When the credits roll, the credits are in a different font. I liked the ending of this version of "The Hypnotist" better than the original one because of the fact that Alice let Ralph have the money after all. Shelia's Alice was certainly the gentler Alice.
Credit I believe goes to tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Yahoo! Groups You’re A Riot! & amazon.com