Cate: You sure I can't get you something?
Ed Gibb: No, no. I'm fine. I'm just watchin' the game.
Cate: You're watching a broken TV.
Ed Gibb: I'm a Lions fan. It's less painful this way.

Kerry: (to Bridget)"How did an idiot like you get to be president?!?"
Jim: "Florida."

Bridget: "I need more boyfriends."

Cate: "Man. Karma blows."

Paul: So Rory, what do you like most about James Bond?
Rory: Hmm...I like that he has a license to kill.
Paul: (hears car horn) Me too.

Bridget: "Hey Grandpa, what's up?"
Jim: "Blood pressure and bad cholesterol."

Bridget: "You know what they say: Big truck, little..."
Cate: "Stop that."
Paul: "Bridget."

Paul: Come on Cate, dance with me.
Cate: Oh, no, I'm not going to embarrass my daughter.
Paul: Fine, I'll dance by myself.

Cate: "Freaky Friday. The mother and daughter switch places."
Kerry: "Horror."

Kerry (to Bridget): Could ya take the fashion show outside? Those of us who can are trying to read.

Cate (to Rory): You know a lot of times people take orange balls similar to this one outside and throw them at basketball hoops.
Rory: Okay, but bring it back.
Jim (to Cate): They mean well, honey.
Cate: Yeah, I know they mean well, but I'm starting to feel like I'm in some kind of circus where the price of admission is a casserole. Step right up and see the grieving widow.

Bridget:
"I'm playin' drums in my all-girl band,
Check me out I look so hot.
You'll wish you were me
But you'll never be because
You're not in an all-girl band. Hah!"

Paul: "Mint julep, anybody?"
Bridget: "Dad!"
Paul: "I'm sorry; it's just that: (sings and dances)Camptown ladies sing that song, do da, do da."

Cate: I just got here. I forgot to pick up my allergy medicine. Do you think you can drop by the pharmacy?
Paul: Oh man. You know I hate picking up that stuff.
Cate: No, no, no. It's really allergy medicine this time.

(The telephone rings.)
Cate: "I'll get it."
(She picks it up and talks.)
Cate: "Uh - Yeah, this is Cate Hennessy."
(Bridget and Kerry come downstairs.)
Rory: "Mom?"
(Cate hangs up.)
Cate: "My... my keys. Where are my keys?"
Kerry: "Mom?"
Cate: "Oh, my God."
(She grabs her keys and dashes out of the back door.)

Bridget (when she learns Cate is teaching sex education): So, you just say yes without even totally considering how it can completely ruin my life?
Paul: Bridget, I think it's an honor your mother is going to teach you sexual education. After all, she taught me.

Paul: (to Bridget)"...when - when I graduated college, I had to make a decision whether I was gonna go to law school, as I always planned, or to become a writer."
Cate: (sarcastically)"Which did you choose?"
(Paul turns around and hisses at Cate.)

Paul: So Rory, what do you like most about James Bond?
Rory: Hmm...I like that he has a license to kill.
Paul: (hears car horn) Me too.

(First lines of the series.)
Paul: "Rory, what do you like about James Bond?"
Rory: "I like that he had a license to kill."
Paul: "Yeah. Me too."

Paul: (to Kyle)"Your pants are ringing."
Kyle: (answers his cell phone)"What up, my brother from another mother?"

Paul: "Girls, don't make your mother come up there."

Paul: "Uh, Bridget, why are you dressed like that?"
Kerry: "Must be casual sex day at school."
Bridget: "Hey! At least I get -- (Paul glares at her)look good."

Bridget: "It's a thong."
Paul: "It's floss."

Kerry (to Bridget): Could ya take the fashion show outside? Those of us who can are trying to read.

(Last line of the series.)
Jim: "Yeahhh, it's just what we need in this house, another female on the phone."

Bridget: No, Dad, it was coral. I can't wear a coral. I mean look at me. Hello, I'm a summer.

Bridget: "Who would have a mullet?"
Cate: "Yeah. (she turns to Paul)Who?"
Paul: "I was on the hockey team. It kept my neck warm."

Cate: (to Paul)"Drums? You got her drums?"
Paul: "It was the only instrument that came in a color she liked."

Paul: Does everyone have a cell phone? How much am I paying for these?
Bridget: Dad, you get the phones for free.