Tony: Hey look at this nose. I fractured this nose three times and I can still smell.

Samantha Micelli: Yeah! I broke my finger twice and I can still dial.

Mona Robinson: I once fractured my pelvis.

Tony: Yeah, and she can still walk.

Mona: "Ahhh, good old Nick, still blowing hot air."

Johnathan: "Did Nick go to Heaven or Hell?"
Angela: "Oh, I'm sure he went to Heaven, honey."
(Tony laughs.)

Tony: "Hot geraniums. Nick would've loved it."

Mona: "Boy, those Nehru jackets were sharp."

Bruno: "Nick was a good customer; he just wasn't a paying customer."

Trish (Angela's old friend):

Tony & Angela:

Tony:
There are some things that are no good for you, like Crunchy Crawlers, and guys who just want to...

Angela:
Now, just a minute. If I want - [both look down at the kids and back at each other again] Crunchy Crawlers, then I will have Crunchy Crawlers.

Tony:
Crunchy Crawlers are empty calories. Not really satisfying. In an hour, you're gonna want something else.

Angela:
Maybe I'll want more Crunchy Crawlers.

Fred: "Mona,you're a feast for the eyes."

Angela: "Fred is dead?"
Tony: "That's what I said."

Mona: "He's forgetful but he's fast."

Mona: "Angela, you wouldn't last five minutes at Scotland Yard."

Angela: "I am rearranging my life for him, so he can fool around with some Flatbush floozy?"

Tony: "When'd you turn into Cagney and Lacey?"

Samantha: "I told you she wouldn't know what it was."

Tony: "My old man was a sucker for the big bands, you know."

Samantha:

"Now dad remember. Smile, be polite, and whatever you do don't tell the pig joke."

(Last lines of the series.)
Angela: "So... what are your qualifications?"
Tony: "Ah, well, uh, -- "
(They kiss.)
Angela: "You got the job."
Tony: "No kiddin'."

(First lines of the series.)
Tony: (to Samantha)"Are you sure we got everything, honey?"
Samantha: "I'm sure, Daddy."

Mona: "Beetle Bailey got punched out by the sarge again."

Tony: "I've seen the ads for that on the backs of the busses."

Angela: "...couldn't Al hang out at the next guy's house?"

Angela: "Nice to know that some people around here have ambition."

Mona: "Yeah. He promised me the first ride."

Mrs. Rossini: "Mona..."
Mona: "Don't even think about it, sister."

Tony: "Hey. Do you think I'm a snob?"
Mona: "You're darn right you are."

Tony: "I love her spirit."

Angela:

"The problem is, Mother, you sent me a man for a housekeeper."