Barbara Cooper Royer: I'm the only girl who has to go to Confession and make up sins.

Duane Schneider: [after hearing Ms. Romano had a heart attack] Women don't get heart attacks. They give 'em.

Schneider: "He lost his job, his friends, his teeth!"

Ann Romano Royer: That Was BVD.

Ed Cooper, Julie's and Barbara's Father: BVD?

Ann Romano Royer: Before Vicky, Darling

Max - all sad ( looking adorable with his sad,sweet, forlorn face ) because nobody liked his fish chowder he made:(

" I hate when it's my turn to cook , I was only trying to please you guys, I'll find a cat"!! :D:heart:

Duane Schneider: [pretending to pick each other up] Do you wanna go to your place or mine?
Ann Romano Royer: Both.

Barbara to Julie and Max ( saying this very inocently )when they just got back from their Honeymoon " How was the honeymoon?, what did you do?, I mean did you take pictures?:lol:

Ann Romano Royer: Oh My God!

Max & Ann:

Schneider & Ann:

Duane Schneider : [repeated line, beginning in Season 4] Always remember, and please never forget...
[sometimes reversed to, 'Never forget and please always remember... ']

Ann: "Welcome to the family, Alex."

Barbara to Julie and Max ( saying this very inocently )when they just got back from their Honeymoon " How was the honeymoon?, what did you do?, I mean did you take pictures?:lol:

They do that same joke when Barbara and Mark come back from their honeymoon, only in that case it’s Alex who asks.

Julie:

"She's one of the most independent women I've ever met"

Ann:

"She's not independent, she one of the most dependent women I've ever seen."

Julie & Alex:

Ann Romano: God, a lot of people think You're really a woman. If You are, how about rooting for our team?

Julie & Max:

Duane Schneider:
Ms. Romano, I'm a little bit disappointed in you. How can you settle for a tricycle when Kawasaki makes the good times roll?

Alex: "This sure is a friendly family."

Barbara: "This is Alex. He's got a loose button, along with a loose mouth."

Schneider: "I feel like the prize pooch at a poodle show."

Barbara: "You want Scheider to be the donor?"

Schneider: "... I sure do hope it's my expertise."
Ann: "Chances are.."

Dave: "I'm sterile."

Scheider: "Of course, artificial inflammation."

Ann: "Because as you get older, you get more wrinkles."

Schneider: "...I'll be kind of like the great insemnitarian."
Ann: "You sure do have a way with words, Schneider."

Ann & Julie:

Julie Cooper Horvath:
Chuck wants to go all the way.

Barbara Cooper Royer:
To bed?

Julie Cooper Horvath:
Of course to bed. What'd you think, all the way to Talito?

Barbara: "It sure beats high school."

Schneider: "'Brilliant' is hardly the word!"

Duane Schneider:
Ms. Romano, I'm a little bit disappointed in you. How can you settle for a tricycle when Kawasaki makes the good times roll?

Ann:

David Kane: Schneider, you're the only person I know whose pet rock is his own head.

(Last line of the series.)
Schneider: "I'm leavin' tonight."

(First line of the series.)
Julie: "Trudy, Sarah, and me are goin' backpackin' this weekend."

Julie Cooper Horvath:
Chuck wants to go all the way.

Barbara Cooper Royer:
To bed?

Julie Cooper Horvath:
Of course to bed. What'd you think, all the way to Talito?

Not sure where you copy and pasted that from, but the line is ‘Toledo’

Oh, and Barbara and Julie were nowhere near Royer and Horvath at that point.

Not sure where you copy and pasted that from, but the line is ‘Toledo’

Oh, and Barbara and Julie were nowhere near Royer and Horvath at that point.

Sorry about that.

This is where I got it from:

https://www.quotes.net/movies/one_day_at_a_time_105018

David Kane:
Schneider, you're the only person I know who's pet rock is his own head.

Ann: "Barbara, college is not all fun and games."

Schneider: "Just about everyone I ever dated."

Ann: "I got a certificate from Evelyn Woods speed reading."

Barbara: "Mom, I've never seen you at a loss for words."

Ann: "Since when is 'mother' a dirty word?"

Professor Bradley: "Looks this class won't be as bad as I thought."

Barbara: "At some point I want to become me, whoever that is."

David Kane:
Schneider, you're the only person I know who's pet rock is his own head.