Frank Gannucci
07-27-2018, 07:35 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Without Reservations" & "Life Upon The Wicked Stage";
Episode #184 (Syndicated episode #13)
TV: Hour-long musical (edited.).
DVD: Attached to "Rafitti, Brooklyn Style."
Color Honeymooners Title: "Without Reservations."
Lost Episode Title: "Brother-In-Law."
Air Date: 2/4/67
"Without Reservations";
This episode opens up with the June Taylor Dancers singing a song about the supermarket. After that, Trixie and Alice meet at the supermarket. Alice says that her brother-in-law that Ralph hates is coming for dinner. Stanley likes clams but Ralph doesn't. Stanley likes the way Alice makes clam biscuits and she is buying eight chops for Ralph. Stanley hates Ralph too because of what Stanley did to Ralph during their WPA days. Alice: "They were working on a highway for the PWA, I mean the WPA." Yes, Shelia flubbed her line. Both of them wanted that whistle and flag man. Stanley needed a couple of bucks to get the boss to give him the job and borrowed it from Ralph. When Ralph heard about that, he was upset. Both of them now take advantage of each other. Ralph comes by. He figured that he would help Alice with the pushcart. Trixie leaves. Trixie: "The green hornet (Ed) will be home any minute." When Ralph sees the clams, he knows that Stanley is coming. Ralph: "Your brother Stanley isn't coming." According to Ralph, Stanley is "a moocher, a chiseler, and a bum!" Alice: "What did you say?" Ralph: "I said that he is a bum. Capital B-capital-u-capital-um. Bum." They both sing a song that I think is called: "Brother/Uncle/Cousin" in which Ralph and Alice insult some of their respective family members
Stanley comes in and both of them antagonize each other. There is one moment in which Stanley pours coffee on to his plate and slurps it. He actually makes a slurping sound. In "Brother-In-Law", he doesn't make a slurping sound yet Ralph still says: "Will you stop that racket?" The actor who plays Stanley seems to speak with a foreign accent. When Stanley goes into the bathroom to wash out, Ralph complains about some of the things that Stanley has done in the past. During this, Ed Norton comes down to get an eggbeater. Ralph: "Tell him (Stanley) to get out." Ed: "What did I do?" Ralph explains that he means Stanley who is in the bedroom. Ed finds some food while Ralph & Alice argue over Stanley. Alice is upset that Ralph was needling him when Stanley makes those sounds when he drinks coffee. Ralph: "I don't mind if he eats like a garbage disposal, I just don't want him to sound like one." Alice: "He has false teeth." Ralph: "I know why. He wore out his real ones eating." Ed asks Ralph for some crackers. Ralph is complaining about how Stanley eats. Ed now is asking for some tabasco sauce. Ralph and Alice continue arguing. Ed is now asking for ketchup. Ralph & Alice resume arguing. Ed is now asking Ralph to open the ketchup bottle. Ralph can't do it, so he puts it under hot water. He turns on the hot water and two seconds later, steam comes out. Realistically, steam coming from the kitchen sink after two seconds of hot water running would never happen in the real world. Ralph turns off the hot water and puts his hand on the cap. The cap is hot, so he screams in pain. Ralph is mad at Ed. Ralph: "When your brother dances out of that door, Ed will be his dancing partner. Ralph has always asked them for money and has never paid them back. Stanley hears it. Ed introduces himself to Stan. Stanley is now offering to pay them back when he gets a fortune from that old hotel that no one has used for years in New Jersey called "The Crestwood Hotel." He plans on buying it because a new highway that is going from western Pennsylvania to New York is supposed to be built. When he asks them for money for this, Ralph and Alice say no because they think Stan is crazy. Stanley leaves. Alice accompanies him to the bus station. Ralph says that Stanley's idea isn't crazy at all and wants to buy the hotel for himself. Ralph explains how much of a goldmine the hotel is. They both sing that I think is called: "We Are Going To Be Richer Than Rich?"
At the hotel, it looks really in bad condition. There are a ton of spider webs and dust. Ralph, of course, only carries the keys, while his future bellboy, Ed Norton, carries everything else. The girls hate the hotel. Ralph: "We don't have to fix this hotel until the highway is built. Trixie says: "I think it would be easier if we built the highway and the other people who were going to build the highway to cleanup the hotel." Even if this hotel is renovated, Alice says that the only chance of anyone ever stopping here is when the car without platfomate (sp?) runs out of gas. Translation: The chances of a person stopping there are slim and none. When Ralph says what needs to be cleaned up, Alice says not to knock down the cobwebs because they are holding up the walls. Ha! Ralph orders Alice to clean up. Alice says no. and Alice says that she won't lift a finger to help Ralph with the hotel. Ralph: "Grab a mop and start mopping." Alice: "I will not." Ralph (yells): "GRAB A MOP AND START MOPPING." Alice: "Only if I use you as a mop." Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO COUNT TO FIVE AND IF YOU ARE NOT MOPPING WHEN I COUNT TO FIVE, LOOK OUT. ONE! THERE YOU ARE. THAT'S ONE…TWO, THERE'S TWO. ONE! TWO! THREE IS COMING NEXT…THREE! AFTER THREE COMES FOUR. FOUR IS NEXT. YOU KNOW FOUR IS NEXT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS NEXT?" Alice: "Why don't you say it?" Ralph (yells): "FIVE! ALL RIGHT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. THE NEXT TIME YOU BLEACH YOUR HAIR, I WON'T TOUCH YOUR ROOTS."
They start to get the hotel cleaned up. Ed is using the broom. Ed plays around the old-fashioned phone. Ralph has a sign for the hotel that says: "Kramnor Hotel." How surprising. He took the first part of each of their respective last names. Ed suggests NoraKram Hotel should be the name. Ralph pleads his case as to why the hotel should be called KramNor Hotel. He says that this hotel would be running like those big luxury hotels in Miami Beach. They both sing a song that is called: "Back To The Dining Room Again."
They get the hotel cleaned up. Ralph is dressed up as the manager. He rings the bell once for Trixie. Trixie's the maid. He rings the bell twice for Alice, the cook. He rings the bell three times for Ed, but Ed doesn't come down and says from upstairs, that he will come down when Ralph says that he wants the bellboy who's also his partner. Ralph complies. Ed comes down. Ed's uniform doesn't even fit him. Ed: "How can I get out of this chicken-outfit?" Alice calls Ralph, Conrad Hilton. The girls go to their posts.
Ralph and Ed go over a system in which if a guest asks for cigarettes, Ralph will ring the bell four times. He will ring the bell five times if the guest wants ice water. He will ring the bell six times if the guest wants some writing paper. He will ring the bell seven times if there is a guest ready to go into his hotel room. You can tell that this idea is terrible. Ed wants to be the owner. Ralph says no. Ed: "Can I be the bellboy and the house detective?" Ralph: "Yes." Ed goes inside and puts on his house detective disguise (fake glasses with fake nose) and scares Ralph. Ed leaves to wash the ashtrays. The first guest of the KramNor Hotel comes in. Guest: "Are you on Diner's Club?" Ralph: "Heh?" Ralph gives him room 3B. The guests name is Frank. He wants some ice water and a pack of cigarettes along with assistance to his room. Ralph is stumped as to how many times he thinks that he should ring the bell. He rings it more then seven times causing Ed to come out and say: "Could you give me a hint?" Ed tries to frisk Frank because he is the house detective. Ralph: "The guest doesn't have to lift a finger." Ed: "Neither does the manager." Frank is a foreman on that new highway. When Frank says that the highway will be finished in a month or two and they might have to knock a little bit off the front porch to make room for the highway. Ralph brings Alice & Trixie out to hear the news. Frank says that the front porch is where they will have to sink one of the pillars. The hotel isn't going to pass right in front of the hotel as they thought, but over it. It's an elevated highway. I guess the hotel would be useless now. Ed rings the bell multiple times saying it's time to abandon ship. Stanley comes in and asks for $10 from Alice. She obliges. Stan thanks Alice. Stan gives the money to Frank. Stanley is now a whistle and flag man on that new highway. Ralph is upset and chases Stan around.
During the curtain call, Jack praises the Miami Beach audience and right when he introduces the supporting cast, the film jumps to him introducing the main cast. Yes, Youtoo TV edited the curtain call. Jackie then says good night.
Episode #185 (Syndicated episode #14)
TV: Hour (edited.)
DVD: Due to musical issues, this episode may never be released on DVD.
Color Honeymooners Title: "Life Upon The Wicked Stage."
Lost Episode Title: "Songs & Witty Sayings."
Air Date 2/11/67
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
After the June Taylor Dancers come out and sing probably a song about getting a tan and then leave, Ed Norton comes out looking to get a tan on top of 328 Chauncey Street. I believe that this is the first time that we see what the roof of the building looks like. It is so obvious that the background is fake. This episode was shown for the first time in February in '67. So, if this episode was topical in terms of the season at the time and the fact that the sky was mostly anything but sunny, why would Ed want to get a tan in New York in February? He is wearing some loud shorts. He actually uses some tinfoil and puts it on his neck. Ralph comes up. Ralph asks what the foil is used for. Ed: "To prevent the soot from the chimney from getting on my vest. Ralph: "It would be a shame to get that vest dirty after working in the sewer all day." Ed asks Ralph to move away because he is casting a shadow on his big toe as well as casting a shadow on the whole Williamsburg Bridge. Ralph and Norton have entered the annual amateur night at the Halsey Theater, where the grand prize is two hundred dollars. Ed is planning on using his share of the money to go down to Miami Beach, Florida to get away from his mother-in-law. Either Ed is stupid for thinking that it costs only $100 to visit Florida, and/or he is using the money with additional money to take a trip to Florida, and/or or prices were really low back then. Ralph says he will use the $100 to go to Fred's Landing to do some fishing. The other day, he saw some fishing equipment that he loved. It only costs $97. He plans on using the other $3 to get Alice mosquito netting. Ralph says that Alice and he have an anniversary coming up. Ed: "I hope that it is the 16th. 16th means net." Ralph and Ed's act is a comedy act which consists of a mind-reading bit, jokes and a Laurel and Hardy impersonation, and a song-and-dance routine. Ralph & Ed rehearse the mind-reading bit. Ed says that he would like to add another bit. This is something that he has said at birthday parties, bar mitzvahs etc. Ed says a story that is called: "Our Friends The Animals." The story is so bad. Ralph says he knows all about the stage and he's been on one all his life. They both sing: "You're A Star."
At home, Alice is dressed as a Hawaiian hula girl and Trixie is a sailor. Trix sings and plays a Hawaiian song on a cello while Alice dances. Ralph comes home. When Alice says "theater" when she says: "We are rehearsing for the contest at the Halsey Theater", you can tell that she is saying it with I believe is an English accent. (Shelia was born in England.) Ralph says that they don't have to rehearse because Bellevue will take them as they are. We finally see what the wallpaper in the bedroom looks like while the characters are in the kitchen/living room/dining room. Ralph: "You are not going to make a fool out of me." Ralph says that Alice has no talent. She doesn't? Ralph insults Trixie, so she leaves. They argue. Ralph says that he has plenty of talent. Ralph: "The theater has been in me all my life." Alice: "Yeah, I knew that that wasn't your stomach. It was the balcony." Ralph says that he will belt her. Alice: "That is all that you are good for. You always boss us around. You men think you own the world." Ralph: "You women get revenge. You marry us." Ralph & Alice did the same bit in one of the Classic 39. (I don't know which episode off the top of my head.) Alice says that her whole family was talented. Ralph: "Yeah, your dad was. To go to raise a family of 12 without going to work was talented. Alice said that her mom was talented and was offered to appear in silent pictures but she turned it down. Ralph said that the reason was because she couldn't keep silent. Alice: "Molly wally unga. That is Hawaiian for: Soak your head." In "Songs & Witty Sayings", Alice says that "Molly wally unga is Hawaiian for: "Ahh, shut up." Alice goes into the bedroom. Ed finds out about this too when he comes in. Ralph and Ed talk about the girls being involved in the contest. Alice comes out and says that Ralph is afraid of competition. Ralph makes a bet. If they lose to the girls, Ralph will give her $10 Alice says that they will lose because they have a finish that will wow the crowd. She brings out a table full of hand bells and plays "Tip-Toe Through The Tulips" Ralph says that number may help the girls, so Ed "sabotages" the number by rearranging the bells.
At 1am, Ralph and Ed are rehearsing. The first act is the mind-reading act with Ed in his Swami character. Ralph (holding a pack of cigarettes): "O Swami, what is this that I am holding in my hand. I don't want any buts." Ed: "Buts. Buts. It is a pack of cigarettes." Ralph: "Don't say 'buts.' The crowd will think that there is some sort of trick to this." They rehearse their song-and-dance act. They sing: "Hand Me Down My Hat. Hand Me Down My Cane." While they are singing this, the music sounds disjointed for a couple of seconds or maybe it was me. After the song, Alice comes out and complains. So does Garrity. Ralph goes to the open window. Since this episode was set in New York, either the Kramdens and Nortons either braced the cold weather or had real hot body temperatures for them to endure the cold weather in February (that is of course, if this episode was topical in terms of the season.) Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? DID THE SALOON BURN DOWN? Ralph says that Alice is so funny that he will put her in his act that will be called: "Punch & Judy." Alice thinks they should stop practicing. Ralph: "What do I have behind me? Don't you dare." Ralph was making reference to his big butt. Garrity (yells): "GO AHEAD ALICE. SAY IT." Ralph (yells): "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FAT LIP?" Garrity (yells): "IF I WAS LOOKING FOR A FAT ANYTHING, I WOULD KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT. AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY KRAMDEN? DID THE PIZZERIA BURN DOWN?" Alice goes into the bedroom. After that, Ralph and Ed rehearse the "restaurant sketch." Norton does a Stan Laurel impersonation as a customer who wants a piece of custard pie, and Ralph plays the waiter a la Oliver Hardy, is a priceless tribute by Carney and Gleason to the two great funny men. Ralph wants to rehearse every bit of the scene (which includes hitting Ed in the face with a pie). Ed says he doesn't want the pie in the face. He wants Ralph to get the pie in the face. Ralph says that with him being the sympathetic character, if he got the pie in the face, the crowd will be mad at him because with him being the wise guy, they want him to get the pie in the face. Ed leaves it at that. When they rehearse the scene, Ed doesn't want the pie in the face now but Ralph says for him to roll with the flow. Question: Why does Ralph want to hit Ed in the face with a pie in rehearsal, when he can hit him once in the face during their live act? Ed obliges, but ducks and Alice (who was coming in) gets the pie. That moment was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special in 2002.
The next scene takes place at the theater now known today as the Jackie Gleason, err Halsey Theatre (yes, they used the real-life theater that they show this show in as the "Halsey Theater." Makes sense.) The host says that the Indian who held up the stagecoach in the movie that they saw is the then-current governor of California, Ronald Reagan, and the driver is the then-current senator. This is the Halsey Theater 23rd annual show and has "introduced" to the entertainment world such people as Humphrey Bogart. The first act is Alice and Trixie. According to the host, they are the Kitchen Cuties. They come out in red sequin gowns and sing: "Popular Gal In Town." The gowns show off their legs. The girls wow the crowd. You can hear the men whistling in the audience. I wonder if they were told to make the noises. The second act is Ace Fargo (sp?). According to the host, he has been filing out your taxes and cutting your hair at Orlando's Barber Shop He is played by special guest Robert Goulet. The crowd applauds when they see him and then applaud and boo him when he sings "In Summer." Ace then gets the hook. Host: "That boy will never become a Sonny King." Ralph and Ed do their first bit and puts Ralph puts on the blindfold on Ed (who is in his Swami outfit), he flashes his hand in his face. Ed: "I can't see anything, except for the hand that is in my face." Ralph "tightens" it. Norton can't even guess the first object in the mind-reading routine. (When Art says: "A book on Ring Allevio" (sp?), he mispronounces "book.") Some people actually cheer as the bit ends (I guess someone in the sound booth activated the cheering noise) When Ralph and Ed try to do their song-and-dance, the people just throw their canes at them. Ed: "When we become stars, we will never work in this theater." Ralph & Ed bomb in their song and dance as they sing "Hand Me Down My Hat. Hand Me Down My Cane." They get the hook.
At home, Ralph and Ed are upset. The window is open again. Since this episode was set in New York, either Ralph & Ed either braced the cold weather or had real hot body temperatures for them to endure the cold weather in February (that is of course, if this episode was topical in terms of the season.) Ralph reveals that the girls won the contest. Ralph: "After tonight, the manager says he won't even let me in to see the movie anymore." Alice and Trixie come in with Chinese food. The Nortons leave as Alice says that her and Ralph will be up in 10 minutes. Alice reminds Ralph of his bet. Ralph says no. Alice says that with the $10 in addition to the $3 that she has, she can buy what she needs. She says that she already spent the $97 out of the $100 to buy Ralph a fishing outfit. Alice says that their anniversary is coming up and she wanted to enter the contest to buy Ralph a gift. She will use the $13 to go to Fred's Landing and to buy mosquito netting. Alice: "It is a dollar a yard. Three yards for me and ten for you." What about the money it will cost to go to Fred's? Ralph says that Alice is the greatest and they hug.
During the curtain call, Jackie says that tonight was a nostalgic night for him because he started out acting at the Halsey Theater in Brooklyn. He worked with a guy named Charlie who had all the talent while he (Jackie) just watched. Jackie thanked the writers and lyric people. Jackie then introduces the person who played one of the amateurs, Mr. Robert Goulet. When he introduces Robert Goulet, he says: "Mr. Robert Goulet?" He said it in the form of a question. Robert says that Gleason is the greatest. Jackie then introduces the main cast. Jackie then says: "Good night."
During the credit roll, Johnny Olsen says: "Don't forget to tune in next week for the Honeymooners." After that, you can hear the crowd cheering.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Group You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
Episode #184 (Syndicated episode #13)
TV: Hour-long musical (edited.).
DVD: Attached to "Rafitti, Brooklyn Style."
Color Honeymooners Title: "Without Reservations."
Lost Episode Title: "Brother-In-Law."
Air Date: 2/4/67
"Without Reservations";
This episode opens up with the June Taylor Dancers singing a song about the supermarket. After that, Trixie and Alice meet at the supermarket. Alice says that her brother-in-law that Ralph hates is coming for dinner. Stanley likes clams but Ralph doesn't. Stanley likes the way Alice makes clam biscuits and she is buying eight chops for Ralph. Stanley hates Ralph too because of what Stanley did to Ralph during their WPA days. Alice: "They were working on a highway for the PWA, I mean the WPA." Yes, Shelia flubbed her line. Both of them wanted that whistle and flag man. Stanley needed a couple of bucks to get the boss to give him the job and borrowed it from Ralph. When Ralph heard about that, he was upset. Both of them now take advantage of each other. Ralph comes by. He figured that he would help Alice with the pushcart. Trixie leaves. Trixie: "The green hornet (Ed) will be home any minute." When Ralph sees the clams, he knows that Stanley is coming. Ralph: "Your brother Stanley isn't coming." According to Ralph, Stanley is "a moocher, a chiseler, and a bum!" Alice: "What did you say?" Ralph: "I said that he is a bum. Capital B-capital-u-capital-um. Bum." They both sing a song that I think is called: "Brother/Uncle/Cousin" in which Ralph and Alice insult some of their respective family members
Stanley comes in and both of them antagonize each other. There is one moment in which Stanley pours coffee on to his plate and slurps it. He actually makes a slurping sound. In "Brother-In-Law", he doesn't make a slurping sound yet Ralph still says: "Will you stop that racket?" The actor who plays Stanley seems to speak with a foreign accent. When Stanley goes into the bathroom to wash out, Ralph complains about some of the things that Stanley has done in the past. During this, Ed Norton comes down to get an eggbeater. Ralph: "Tell him (Stanley) to get out." Ed: "What did I do?" Ralph explains that he means Stanley who is in the bedroom. Ed finds some food while Ralph & Alice argue over Stanley. Alice is upset that Ralph was needling him when Stanley makes those sounds when he drinks coffee. Ralph: "I don't mind if he eats like a garbage disposal, I just don't want him to sound like one." Alice: "He has false teeth." Ralph: "I know why. He wore out his real ones eating." Ed asks Ralph for some crackers. Ralph is complaining about how Stanley eats. Ed now is asking for some tabasco sauce. Ralph and Alice continue arguing. Ed is now asking for ketchup. Ralph & Alice resume arguing. Ed is now asking Ralph to open the ketchup bottle. Ralph can't do it, so he puts it under hot water. He turns on the hot water and two seconds later, steam comes out. Realistically, steam coming from the kitchen sink after two seconds of hot water running would never happen in the real world. Ralph turns off the hot water and puts his hand on the cap. The cap is hot, so he screams in pain. Ralph is mad at Ed. Ralph: "When your brother dances out of that door, Ed will be his dancing partner. Ralph has always asked them for money and has never paid them back. Stanley hears it. Ed introduces himself to Stan. Stanley is now offering to pay them back when he gets a fortune from that old hotel that no one has used for years in New Jersey called "The Crestwood Hotel." He plans on buying it because a new highway that is going from western Pennsylvania to New York is supposed to be built. When he asks them for money for this, Ralph and Alice say no because they think Stan is crazy. Stanley leaves. Alice accompanies him to the bus station. Ralph says that Stanley's idea isn't crazy at all and wants to buy the hotel for himself. Ralph explains how much of a goldmine the hotel is. They both sing that I think is called: "We Are Going To Be Richer Than Rich?"
At the hotel, it looks really in bad condition. There are a ton of spider webs and dust. Ralph, of course, only carries the keys, while his future bellboy, Ed Norton, carries everything else. The girls hate the hotel. Ralph: "We don't have to fix this hotel until the highway is built. Trixie says: "I think it would be easier if we built the highway and the other people who were going to build the highway to cleanup the hotel." Even if this hotel is renovated, Alice says that the only chance of anyone ever stopping here is when the car without platfomate (sp?) runs out of gas. Translation: The chances of a person stopping there are slim and none. When Ralph says what needs to be cleaned up, Alice says not to knock down the cobwebs because they are holding up the walls. Ha! Ralph orders Alice to clean up. Alice says no. and Alice says that she won't lift a finger to help Ralph with the hotel. Ralph: "Grab a mop and start mopping." Alice: "I will not." Ralph (yells): "GRAB A MOP AND START MOPPING." Alice: "Only if I use you as a mop." Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO COUNT TO FIVE AND IF YOU ARE NOT MOPPING WHEN I COUNT TO FIVE, LOOK OUT. ONE! THERE YOU ARE. THAT'S ONE…TWO, THERE'S TWO. ONE! TWO! THREE IS COMING NEXT…THREE! AFTER THREE COMES FOUR. FOUR IS NEXT. YOU KNOW FOUR IS NEXT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS NEXT?" Alice: "Why don't you say it?" Ralph (yells): "FIVE! ALL RIGHT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. THE NEXT TIME YOU BLEACH YOUR HAIR, I WON'T TOUCH YOUR ROOTS."
They start to get the hotel cleaned up. Ed is using the broom. Ed plays around the old-fashioned phone. Ralph has a sign for the hotel that says: "Kramnor Hotel." How surprising. He took the first part of each of their respective last names. Ed suggests NoraKram Hotel should be the name. Ralph pleads his case as to why the hotel should be called KramNor Hotel. He says that this hotel would be running like those big luxury hotels in Miami Beach. They both sing a song that is called: "Back To The Dining Room Again."
They get the hotel cleaned up. Ralph is dressed up as the manager. He rings the bell once for Trixie. Trixie's the maid. He rings the bell twice for Alice, the cook. He rings the bell three times for Ed, but Ed doesn't come down and says from upstairs, that he will come down when Ralph says that he wants the bellboy who's also his partner. Ralph complies. Ed comes down. Ed's uniform doesn't even fit him. Ed: "How can I get out of this chicken-outfit?" Alice calls Ralph, Conrad Hilton. The girls go to their posts.
Ralph and Ed go over a system in which if a guest asks for cigarettes, Ralph will ring the bell four times. He will ring the bell five times if the guest wants ice water. He will ring the bell six times if the guest wants some writing paper. He will ring the bell seven times if there is a guest ready to go into his hotel room. You can tell that this idea is terrible. Ed wants to be the owner. Ralph says no. Ed: "Can I be the bellboy and the house detective?" Ralph: "Yes." Ed goes inside and puts on his house detective disguise (fake glasses with fake nose) and scares Ralph. Ed leaves to wash the ashtrays. The first guest of the KramNor Hotel comes in. Guest: "Are you on Diner's Club?" Ralph: "Heh?" Ralph gives him room 3B. The guests name is Frank. He wants some ice water and a pack of cigarettes along with assistance to his room. Ralph is stumped as to how many times he thinks that he should ring the bell. He rings it more then seven times causing Ed to come out and say: "Could you give me a hint?" Ed tries to frisk Frank because he is the house detective. Ralph: "The guest doesn't have to lift a finger." Ed: "Neither does the manager." Frank is a foreman on that new highway. When Frank says that the highway will be finished in a month or two and they might have to knock a little bit off the front porch to make room for the highway. Ralph brings Alice & Trixie out to hear the news. Frank says that the front porch is where they will have to sink one of the pillars. The hotel isn't going to pass right in front of the hotel as they thought, but over it. It's an elevated highway. I guess the hotel would be useless now. Ed rings the bell multiple times saying it's time to abandon ship. Stanley comes in and asks for $10 from Alice. She obliges. Stan thanks Alice. Stan gives the money to Frank. Stanley is now a whistle and flag man on that new highway. Ralph is upset and chases Stan around.
During the curtain call, Jack praises the Miami Beach audience and right when he introduces the supporting cast, the film jumps to him introducing the main cast. Yes, Youtoo TV edited the curtain call. Jackie then says good night.
Episode #185 (Syndicated episode #14)
TV: Hour (edited.)
DVD: Due to musical issues, this episode may never be released on DVD.
Color Honeymooners Title: "Life Upon The Wicked Stage."
Lost Episode Title: "Songs & Witty Sayings."
Air Date 2/11/67
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
After the June Taylor Dancers come out and sing probably a song about getting a tan and then leave, Ed Norton comes out looking to get a tan on top of 328 Chauncey Street. I believe that this is the first time that we see what the roof of the building looks like. It is so obvious that the background is fake. This episode was shown for the first time in February in '67. So, if this episode was topical in terms of the season at the time and the fact that the sky was mostly anything but sunny, why would Ed want to get a tan in New York in February? He is wearing some loud shorts. He actually uses some tinfoil and puts it on his neck. Ralph comes up. Ralph asks what the foil is used for. Ed: "To prevent the soot from the chimney from getting on my vest. Ralph: "It would be a shame to get that vest dirty after working in the sewer all day." Ed asks Ralph to move away because he is casting a shadow on his big toe as well as casting a shadow on the whole Williamsburg Bridge. Ralph and Norton have entered the annual amateur night at the Halsey Theater, where the grand prize is two hundred dollars. Ed is planning on using his share of the money to go down to Miami Beach, Florida to get away from his mother-in-law. Either Ed is stupid for thinking that it costs only $100 to visit Florida, and/or he is using the money with additional money to take a trip to Florida, and/or or prices were really low back then. Ralph says he will use the $100 to go to Fred's Landing to do some fishing. The other day, he saw some fishing equipment that he loved. It only costs $97. He plans on using the other $3 to get Alice mosquito netting. Ralph says that Alice and he have an anniversary coming up. Ed: "I hope that it is the 16th. 16th means net." Ralph and Ed's act is a comedy act which consists of a mind-reading bit, jokes and a Laurel and Hardy impersonation, and a song-and-dance routine. Ralph & Ed rehearse the mind-reading bit. Ed says that he would like to add another bit. This is something that he has said at birthday parties, bar mitzvahs etc. Ed says a story that is called: "Our Friends The Animals." The story is so bad. Ralph says he knows all about the stage and he's been on one all his life. They both sing: "You're A Star."
At home, Alice is dressed as a Hawaiian hula girl and Trixie is a sailor. Trix sings and plays a Hawaiian song on a cello while Alice dances. Ralph comes home. When Alice says "theater" when she says: "We are rehearsing for the contest at the Halsey Theater", you can tell that she is saying it with I believe is an English accent. (Shelia was born in England.) Ralph says that they don't have to rehearse because Bellevue will take them as they are. We finally see what the wallpaper in the bedroom looks like while the characters are in the kitchen/living room/dining room. Ralph: "You are not going to make a fool out of me." Ralph says that Alice has no talent. She doesn't? Ralph insults Trixie, so she leaves. They argue. Ralph says that he has plenty of talent. Ralph: "The theater has been in me all my life." Alice: "Yeah, I knew that that wasn't your stomach. It was the balcony." Ralph says that he will belt her. Alice: "That is all that you are good for. You always boss us around. You men think you own the world." Ralph: "You women get revenge. You marry us." Ralph & Alice did the same bit in one of the Classic 39. (I don't know which episode off the top of my head.) Alice says that her whole family was talented. Ralph: "Yeah, your dad was. To go to raise a family of 12 without going to work was talented. Alice said that her mom was talented and was offered to appear in silent pictures but she turned it down. Ralph said that the reason was because she couldn't keep silent. Alice: "Molly wally unga. That is Hawaiian for: Soak your head." In "Songs & Witty Sayings", Alice says that "Molly wally unga is Hawaiian for: "Ahh, shut up." Alice goes into the bedroom. Ed finds out about this too when he comes in. Ralph and Ed talk about the girls being involved in the contest. Alice comes out and says that Ralph is afraid of competition. Ralph makes a bet. If they lose to the girls, Ralph will give her $10 Alice says that they will lose because they have a finish that will wow the crowd. She brings out a table full of hand bells and plays "Tip-Toe Through The Tulips" Ralph says that number may help the girls, so Ed "sabotages" the number by rearranging the bells.
At 1am, Ralph and Ed are rehearsing. The first act is the mind-reading act with Ed in his Swami character. Ralph (holding a pack of cigarettes): "O Swami, what is this that I am holding in my hand. I don't want any buts." Ed: "Buts. Buts. It is a pack of cigarettes." Ralph: "Don't say 'buts.' The crowd will think that there is some sort of trick to this." They rehearse their song-and-dance act. They sing: "Hand Me Down My Hat. Hand Me Down My Cane." While they are singing this, the music sounds disjointed for a couple of seconds or maybe it was me. After the song, Alice comes out and complains. So does Garrity. Ralph goes to the open window. Since this episode was set in New York, either the Kramdens and Nortons either braced the cold weather or had real hot body temperatures for them to endure the cold weather in February (that is of course, if this episode was topical in terms of the season.) Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? DID THE SALOON BURN DOWN? Ralph says that Alice is so funny that he will put her in his act that will be called: "Punch & Judy." Alice thinks they should stop practicing. Ralph: "What do I have behind me? Don't you dare." Ralph was making reference to his big butt. Garrity (yells): "GO AHEAD ALICE. SAY IT." Ralph (yells): "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FAT LIP?" Garrity (yells): "IF I WAS LOOKING FOR A FAT ANYTHING, I WOULD KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT. AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY KRAMDEN? DID THE PIZZERIA BURN DOWN?" Alice goes into the bedroom. After that, Ralph and Ed rehearse the "restaurant sketch." Norton does a Stan Laurel impersonation as a customer who wants a piece of custard pie, and Ralph plays the waiter a la Oliver Hardy, is a priceless tribute by Carney and Gleason to the two great funny men. Ralph wants to rehearse every bit of the scene (which includes hitting Ed in the face with a pie). Ed says he doesn't want the pie in the face. He wants Ralph to get the pie in the face. Ralph says that with him being the sympathetic character, if he got the pie in the face, the crowd will be mad at him because with him being the wise guy, they want him to get the pie in the face. Ed leaves it at that. When they rehearse the scene, Ed doesn't want the pie in the face now but Ralph says for him to roll with the flow. Question: Why does Ralph want to hit Ed in the face with a pie in rehearsal, when he can hit him once in the face during their live act? Ed obliges, but ducks and Alice (who was coming in) gets the pie. That moment was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special in 2002.
The next scene takes place at the theater now known today as the Jackie Gleason, err Halsey Theatre (yes, they used the real-life theater that they show this show in as the "Halsey Theater." Makes sense.) The host says that the Indian who held up the stagecoach in the movie that they saw is the then-current governor of California, Ronald Reagan, and the driver is the then-current senator. This is the Halsey Theater 23rd annual show and has "introduced" to the entertainment world such people as Humphrey Bogart. The first act is Alice and Trixie. According to the host, they are the Kitchen Cuties. They come out in red sequin gowns and sing: "Popular Gal In Town." The gowns show off their legs. The girls wow the crowd. You can hear the men whistling in the audience. I wonder if they were told to make the noises. The second act is Ace Fargo (sp?). According to the host, he has been filing out your taxes and cutting your hair at Orlando's Barber Shop He is played by special guest Robert Goulet. The crowd applauds when they see him and then applaud and boo him when he sings "In Summer." Ace then gets the hook. Host: "That boy will never become a Sonny King." Ralph and Ed do their first bit and puts Ralph puts on the blindfold on Ed (who is in his Swami outfit), he flashes his hand in his face. Ed: "I can't see anything, except for the hand that is in my face." Ralph "tightens" it. Norton can't even guess the first object in the mind-reading routine. (When Art says: "A book on Ring Allevio" (sp?), he mispronounces "book.") Some people actually cheer as the bit ends (I guess someone in the sound booth activated the cheering noise) When Ralph and Ed try to do their song-and-dance, the people just throw their canes at them. Ed: "When we become stars, we will never work in this theater." Ralph & Ed bomb in their song and dance as they sing "Hand Me Down My Hat. Hand Me Down My Cane." They get the hook.
At home, Ralph and Ed are upset. The window is open again. Since this episode was set in New York, either Ralph & Ed either braced the cold weather or had real hot body temperatures for them to endure the cold weather in February (that is of course, if this episode was topical in terms of the season.) Ralph reveals that the girls won the contest. Ralph: "After tonight, the manager says he won't even let me in to see the movie anymore." Alice and Trixie come in with Chinese food. The Nortons leave as Alice says that her and Ralph will be up in 10 minutes. Alice reminds Ralph of his bet. Ralph says no. Alice says that with the $10 in addition to the $3 that she has, she can buy what she needs. She says that she already spent the $97 out of the $100 to buy Ralph a fishing outfit. Alice says that their anniversary is coming up and she wanted to enter the contest to buy Ralph a gift. She will use the $13 to go to Fred's Landing and to buy mosquito netting. Alice: "It is a dollar a yard. Three yards for me and ten for you." What about the money it will cost to go to Fred's? Ralph says that Alice is the greatest and they hug.
During the curtain call, Jackie says that tonight was a nostalgic night for him because he started out acting at the Halsey Theater in Brooklyn. He worked with a guy named Charlie who had all the talent while he (Jackie) just watched. Jackie thanked the writers and lyric people. Jackie then introduces the person who played one of the amateurs, Mr. Robert Goulet. When he introduces Robert Goulet, he says: "Mr. Robert Goulet?" He said it in the form of a question. Robert says that Gleason is the greatest. Jackie then introduces the main cast. Jackie then says: "Good night."
During the credit roll, Johnny Olsen says: "Don't forget to tune in next week for the Honeymooners." After that, you can hear the crowd cheering.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Group You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.