View Full Version : Quotes


Ohio8
07-23-2018, 07:11 PM
Robin: "That's like tellin' the Fonz to be cool."

AB
07-24-2018, 05:37 PM
A Barney quote:

AB
07-24-2018, 05:38 PM
Another Barney quote:

MA
07-25-2018, 01:40 PM
Ted: You're not... Moby, are you?
Not Moby: Who?
Ted: The recording artist, Moby.
Not Moby: Oh, no.
Ted: Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?
Not Moby: Oh, I thought you said Tony.
Ted: So your name's Tony?
Not Moby: No.

AB
07-25-2018, 06:15 PM
A Barney quote:

MA
07-27-2018, 08:33 AM
Patrice: Why would you fire me?
Robin: Because nobody should be as happy as you are! [goes to door and opens it] and also, your cookies? They're only... pretty good.

MA
01-09-2019, 07:02 PM
Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.

— Ted Mosby

MA
01-09-2019, 07:06 PM
Because sometimes even if you know how something's gonna end that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride.

— Ted Mosby

MA
05-12-2019, 05:00 PM
It's just, eventually we're all gonna move on. It's called growing up.

— Lily Aldrin

Ohio8
10-29-2022, 10:05 PM
Robin: "They only need one finger to give her what I'm thinkin'."

Ted: "...my friends do not get a vote on who I date. It's my life; I call the shots."

Barney: "What do you think I sleep in?"
Ted: "A coffin."

Ted: "That's not a memory, that's from a porn movie."

Lily: (to Ted)"Wait! Marshall didn't do it. I did. I broke you and Karen up."
Ted: "You broke me and Karen up? Are you insane? What gives you the right to do that?"

Lily: "Ted, I did it for your own good... She failed the front porch test."

Lily: "Karen failed the front porch test. She had to go."

Lily: "I really am sorry. I hated doing that again, but Karen had to go."

Marshall: "So that's where my Creed CD went."

Ted: to Lily)"That was you? This is insane!"

Lily: "Ted, I did those things to help you."

Barney: "Marshall. Your Grandpa Olaf was a wise man."

Ted: "You broke me and Robin up?!... I need another drink."

Ted: "Lily, you can't manipulate people like that."

Ted: "Lily, you had no right to interfere in my relationships. You got lucky, okay?... But that doesn't give you the right to play God to the rest of us mortals down here who are still looking for someone. You-you're so concerned about who you and Marshall are you gonna end up on the front porch with, well, you, you know what? You can have it to yourselves."

Ted: "No wonder Marshall dies at 68."

Ohio8
10-30-2022, 06:53 PM
Ted: (v.o.)"...I met a girl dressed like a pumpkin. A slutty pumpkin. and she was extraordinary."

Lily: "...it's like the world's worst showcase showdown."

Robin: "...Lily is a goddess, bestowing the gift of life."

Robin: "That moron should not be making big life decisions right now."

Naomi: "Ted, this is our song. Let's make love to this song."

Ted: "I have to break up with her, don't I?"

Ted: (v.o.)"I knew it would be tough to break up with Naomi, but when it's just not there, you can't force it."

MA
12-14-2022, 10:00 AM
"That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like, ‘Hey bro, I don’t know what you’re eating cause I don’t have any eyes but it’s basically awesome, so keep sending it down Gullet Alley.’” — Marshall Eriksen

Ohio8
12-16-2022, 07:15 PM
Robin: "You can't kick a story in the nuts."

Ted: (to Lily)"Next time we go to Great Adventure, you're carrying your own sunblock."

George Van Smoot: "But you can, and should, call me 'The Captain'."

Barney: "Challenge accepted."

The Captain: "A real man chooses his own name."

Ohio8
03-18-2023, 05:51 PM
(First line of the series.)
Ted: (narrating)"Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother."

Ohio8
04-18-2023, 07:15 PM
Barney: "Great Scotch!!!"

Marshall: "My-my boss only called me three words that meant 'vagina' today."

Lily: "All of us except for Robin."

Marshall: "I got a phone call today; a judge in Queens is retiring. So... I'm gonna be a judge."

Lily: "I have officially seen everything."

(Last lines of the series.)
Robin: "Television, display front door security. Television, dis - oh (she exhales)."

MA
03-30-2024, 03:12 PM
“Whenever I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.” — Barney Stinson

TMC
05-22-2024, 07:22 PM
15 Most Iconic Phrases From How I Met Your Mother (https://screenrant.com/most-iconic-phrases-catchphrases-how-i-met-your-mother-barney-stinson-nph/)

Thanks to great Barney phrases, How I Met Your Mother became one of the most quotable sitcoms ever. But other characters have great catchphrases

MA
08-07-2025, 08:57 AM
Marshall Eriksen: [In a sing-song voice to himself] Studying law. Making a responsible choice for my future. On a Friday night... Being a lawyer had better be awesome.