winkwilliams
05-29-2002, 12:25 PM
How To Be a Star: Hollywood Style
by Wink Williams
1. Don't bother with the little people. Send them a ham at easter, give them car fare but don't socialize with them. They aren't going to help your career.
2. If you got it, flaunt it. J. Lo's see through dress and Anna Nicole Smith's infamous attire have played critical roles in their meteoric ascension to stardom.
3. There's no such thing as bad publicity. As long as they mention your latest release and spell your name correctly who cares? Press is press and that means ticket buyers/shoppers are exposed to your "product." Isn't that right Hugh "Divine Brown" Grant, Eddie "she's a boy hooker with a thing" Murphy, Danny "in the closet coked out" Bonaduce, Courtney "bash your brains in while on smack" Love, Robert "nodding out while high in a strangers basement" Downey Jr. and Roseanne "sing that anthem and grab your crotch" Barr? 4. For Woman: Image is everything. No one will remember what you say but how you look will be discussed and dissected. Madonna is the queen of media courting and understands the importance of image like no one before or since. Change that hairstyle, try a new color and alter that makeup. Everyone is watching and the press will feed. Supermarket shoppers around the world will have you on their minds every time they they stand at the checkout. Madonna is known as the woman of a thousand images/sex slut. Not the talented hit making songwriter/performance artist, right?
5. For Men: What rules? You will get several get out of jail free cards that will enable you to disrupt productions, be a drugged out mess, trash hotel rooms and date porn stars. They will call you a rebel and the jobs will keep rolling in. As you age your co-stars will get younger. Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones, for example. This does not apply to woman as no one would every buy, say, Shirley Maclaine and Leonardo Dicaprio as a romantic coupling. Women: Once you hit 40, retire or be prepared to play the mother of the hot young thing, the nagging wife, or raging murderous reject. Meg Ryan just hit that magic number and Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts aren't that far behind. Hope they saved their pennies.
6. Teeth whitening- it's a practically a religious ritual. If you can't bounce light of em' you didn't do it right.
7. Plastic surgery. The general rule for implants is the bigger the better. Health be damned and stuff as much silicone in there as you can. Remember, there is no such thing as too much plastic surgery. Joan Rivers and Jacko, aka, Michael Jackson have broken new ground and barely have any original parts left. They are both successes, right?
8. If you can't be famous just act like you are. This strategy has worked for the likes of Charo, Charles Nelson Reilly, Joey Heatherton, and Regis Philbin.
9. Connections count: milk them. Jamie Lee Curtis, the Sheen boys and most notably, Tori Spelling, all are familiar with this one. Get those connections to work so you to can land that feature role or series lead. Why work for it when you don't have to? *A certain selected President of the United States heartily endorses always milking every connection to the best of your ability.*
10. Keep that spotlight focused. Once you get it don't let it go. Competition is fierce and there is always a roster of ready and eager replacements. If your act works, stick with it. Tom Cruise has played variations on the same part over and over and it's kept him at the top of the heap. If the light starts to stray have your artillery prepared. Get a messy divorce, sue other famous people, have a break down. Anything to keep those headlines churning and in the public eye and more importantly, in the minds of producers and casting types.
Good luck!
http://winkwilliams.blogspot.com/
by Wink Williams
1. Don't bother with the little people. Send them a ham at easter, give them car fare but don't socialize with them. They aren't going to help your career.
2. If you got it, flaunt it. J. Lo's see through dress and Anna Nicole Smith's infamous attire have played critical roles in their meteoric ascension to stardom.
3. There's no such thing as bad publicity. As long as they mention your latest release and spell your name correctly who cares? Press is press and that means ticket buyers/shoppers are exposed to your "product." Isn't that right Hugh "Divine Brown" Grant, Eddie "she's a boy hooker with a thing" Murphy, Danny "in the closet coked out" Bonaduce, Courtney "bash your brains in while on smack" Love, Robert "nodding out while high in a strangers basement" Downey Jr. and Roseanne "sing that anthem and grab your crotch" Barr? 4. For Woman: Image is everything. No one will remember what you say but how you look will be discussed and dissected. Madonna is the queen of media courting and understands the importance of image like no one before or since. Change that hairstyle, try a new color and alter that makeup. Everyone is watching and the press will feed. Supermarket shoppers around the world will have you on their minds every time they they stand at the checkout. Madonna is known as the woman of a thousand images/sex slut. Not the talented hit making songwriter/performance artist, right?
5. For Men: What rules? You will get several get out of jail free cards that will enable you to disrupt productions, be a drugged out mess, trash hotel rooms and date porn stars. They will call you a rebel and the jobs will keep rolling in. As you age your co-stars will get younger. Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones, for example. This does not apply to woman as no one would every buy, say, Shirley Maclaine and Leonardo Dicaprio as a romantic coupling. Women: Once you hit 40, retire or be prepared to play the mother of the hot young thing, the nagging wife, or raging murderous reject. Meg Ryan just hit that magic number and Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts aren't that far behind. Hope they saved their pennies.
6. Teeth whitening- it's a practically a religious ritual. If you can't bounce light of em' you didn't do it right.
7. Plastic surgery. The general rule for implants is the bigger the better. Health be damned and stuff as much silicone in there as you can. Remember, there is no such thing as too much plastic surgery. Joan Rivers and Jacko, aka, Michael Jackson have broken new ground and barely have any original parts left. They are both successes, right?
8. If you can't be famous just act like you are. This strategy has worked for the likes of Charo, Charles Nelson Reilly, Joey Heatherton, and Regis Philbin.
9. Connections count: milk them. Jamie Lee Curtis, the Sheen boys and most notably, Tori Spelling, all are familiar with this one. Get those connections to work so you to can land that feature role or series lead. Why work for it when you don't have to? *A certain selected President of the United States heartily endorses always milking every connection to the best of your ability.*
10. Keep that spotlight focused. Once you get it don't let it go. Competition is fierce and there is always a roster of ready and eager replacements. If your act works, stick with it. Tom Cruise has played variations on the same part over and over and it's kept him at the top of the heap. If the light starts to stray have your artillery prepared. Get a messy divorce, sue other famous people, have a break down. Anything to keep those headlines churning and in the public eye and more importantly, in the minds of producers and casting types.
Good luck!
http://winkwilliams.blogspot.com/