Frank Gannucci
07-06-2018, 07:49 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "You're In The Picture" & "We Spy":
Episode #177 (Syndicated episode #6)
TV: One hour long (edited).
DVD: Attached to "We Spy", "Petticoat Jungle" & the bonus feature "The Great Gleason Express."
Air Date: Sat. 11/19/66
"You're In The Picture":
The Kramdens & Nortons have arrived in Madrid, Spain. They begin taking pictures. Ralph takes home movies of the Nortons & Alice. Ralph wants to have a theme for his home movie, so he asks the girls to do some shopping. Alice: "So, the theme is going to be science-fiction?" Ed asks Trixie to kiss him for the picture. Trixie: "So it IS going to be a science-fiction theme." Finally, Ralph asks Norton to act surprised when he sees the girls so he can take a picture. Ed acts surprised in typical Ed Norton fashion which gets Ralph upset. Ralph thinks he will do better in the home movie so people will know what country he is in. He grabs a bullfighter's hat and puts it on the wrong way, but gets corrected. He instructs Ed to put to carry a bull horns and act like a bull and when that happens, Ralph will act as a matador. Ralph holds the blanket (or whatever that thing is) in front of Ed and act like he's saying: 'Toro! Toro!' Ed charges and misses the sheet but "gores" Ralph anyway for the fun of it. Ralph isn't amused. All of them then sing a song about Spain.
An evil woman named Rosetta (whom the audience applauds) and an evil man cook up a scheme. She will instruct a man to kiss her and the man will take a picture of them and plan to release it publicly. Everyone goes shopping but Ralph. The woman (who reveals to Ralph that she is a kindergarten teacher) says to him that a man is following her and asks Ralph to be her boyfriend so he will go away. The "boyfriend" comes, so the woman forces Ralph to engage her in a kiss. Ralph isn't happy since if Alice saw him kissing her, she will get mad. Ralph: "Wives are always misunderstanding things." She leaves. The Nortons & Alice get out. Alice: "That looks like lipstick on your face." I don't see any lipstick on Ralph's face, but nonetheless the actors act is if there is lipstick on Ralph's face. Ralph: "I cut myself shaving." Alice: "And now it is starting to bleed?" Ed: "With the way that Ralph is built, it takes his blood a long time to come to the surface. They leave for the hotel.
At the hotel, Ed is dressed as a matador He dances Ed: "Tony Quinn, eat your heart out." Ralph comes out also dressed as a matador His looks very funny. Ralph answers the door. It's the man who took Ralph's picture of him kissing that "kindergarten teacher." Ralph explains the whole situation. The man charges $500 Ralph to have the picture. Man: "Pay me the $500 or I would give it to your wife." Ed: "Let him give the picture to Alice then you can have the picture for nothing." Ralph then rips up the picture, thinking that will stop his plot. He asks him to get out. Man: "I have 16 more copies plus a negative." The man wants to talk business with Ralph. Ralph asks for more time. The man leaves. Man: "Asta-manyana (sp?)." Ed: "San Diego to you." Ralph says he will never pay a cent. Ralph hopes that the woman isn't married because he thinks that the woman will blackmail her too. Ed asks if the situation was reversed and Ralph saw Alice kissing another man, what would Ralph do. Ralph: "I wouldn't fly off the handle." Sure, he wouldn't right? He's done it many times before He then says: "I would kill the both of them." The boys then sing a song that I think is entitled: "It Doesn't Pay to Tell Your Wife The Truth."
After the fiesta, men & women (June Taylor Dancers) are dancing. The Kramdens & Nortons sit down at an outside diner. Alice is dressed like a very pretty senorita. Ralph is still upset about the whole situation he's involved in. Ralph gets drinks. The girls look around. The "teacher" comes to Ralph's table. Ed recognizes her. Ralph comes back to the table. Ralph is glad to see her. Ralph explains the whole situation. The "teacher" explains that she will tell Alice on how Ralph fell in love with her and flirted with her on the street etc. Ralph then realizes that she is in on the blackmail. The woman says that Ralph should give him $500, so she will keep quiet. Ralph says he will get the money from Alice. Woman: "I will give you until 3pm tomorrow." She leaves. The girls come back. Ralph says to Alice that a situation in which a waiter was involved in. It's the same situation that he's in only that he substitutes himself with a waiter. He asks Alice if she was the waiter's wife would she believe the waiter's story. Alice: "If she does, she's a bigger fool than I am." Ralph: "I'm dead."
At the hotel room the next day, Ed is reading a Superman comic book. Ralph: "Where is she?" Ed: "Maybe school hasn't let out yet?" The woman comes in. Ralph doesn't have the money. Ralph says that he needs more time. Ralph: "If she finds out that you are here, I'm dead." Woman: "I will give you until 3:30." She decides to leave. Ralph spots Alice in the hallway. Ralph hides the woman in the closet. The boys try desperately to hide the woman from each of the wives Alice wants to hang up her coat herself. Ralph, claiming that he wants to be a gentleman, says he will hang up the coat himself. Alice: "All right, you can get my slippers." Ralph: "Get your own slippers." Gee, what a gentleman huh? Trixie comes in. Ed claims that there was a phone call and someone wants to see Trixie in the lobby. Trixie leaves. Alice says she put her slippers in the closet, so Ed gets the woman out and hides her in back of the curtains. Ed tries to secretly tell Ralph that no one is in there and he will go look for the slippers. Ed: "It is too dark in here." Gee, it looks to be very bright in there to me. Ralph opens up the drapes, sees the woman, and immediately closes the drapes without success. So, she asks her to hide behind the couch. Ed sees her. Ed: "Oh, there she is." Ralph slaps Ed. Alice doesn't know what Ed is talking about. Ralph says that Ed meant Alice when he said: "Oh there she is." Ralph asks for a measly $500. Alice wants to know why, but Ralph won't say the real reason. Ralph asks the woman to go downstairs for five minutes. Ed sees Trixie, so the woman is again hid in the closet. Trixie: "There was no one down there that wanted to see me." Ed: "I must be losing my mind." Trixie: "How could you lose something you never had?" Ha.
Alice comes out with the answer of no. A knock on the door is heard. Ralph, thinking that it is the woman, hides Alice in the closet. Alice finally sees the woman. Ralph says that she is a blackmailer. Alice doesn't believe him. The woman gives Alice the hank-lanky photo. Alice: "Don't ever speak to me again Ralph." Ralph gets the door and it's a policeman. He tells the whole story about her and that her friend revealed everything. Alice finally got told the truth. Ralph orders the Nortons to come out. Alice: "Forgive me Ralph." Ralph: "Not yet, I want to enjoy this for a while." Ralph eventually forgives her. This is a reversal of the traditional Kramden antics isn't it? All four of them break out into song that I think is entitled: "Have A Little Faith." They actually march of the set as they sing as a woman off-screen is singing like an opera singer.
At the curtain call, Jackie introduces everyone including the female blackmailer. She was Rita Gam.
Episode #178 (Syndicated episode #7)
TV: Hour (edited).
DVD: Attached to “You’re In The Picture”, “Petticoat Jungle” & "The Great Gleason Express."
Air Date: Sat. 12/3/66
"We Spy":
As the Berlin Express arrives in Germany, a bunch of “Germans” (aka June Taylor Dancers) sing: “Berlin Express Is At The Station Now.” A marching band comes out and plays music as the dancers sing. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive in Germany. Ed is carrying all of the luggage off the train because Ralph claims that he strained his back. He strained his back while putting the luggage in Ed's hands. Ha! Alice asked him why he didn’t get a porter to carry the luggage. He said that he didn't want a porter to take advantage of them. Ed: "I don't need one to take advantage of me. I got you to take advantage of me." They wait for the Flakey-Wakey people. They want their picture taken, so Ed asks a German person. Ed: "Hey Schweinehund" Ralph corrects him. Ralph: "It's Herr Schweinehund." Alice says to greet someone in German, you say: "Mein herr." Ralph tries to ask a German man. The man reveals his bald head and so Ralph says to never mind. Ha! Ed has an idea on how to get a picture of the four of us without having to ask a stranger. Pictures will be taken with two different people and at the end; the pictures will be glued together like a collage. Ralph doesn't like it. He says that it is the most ridiculous story that he ever heard. Ed says: "What about the idea of a grown man dressing up as a cat on Halloween." Ralph: "When did I do that?" Ed: "I did." Mr. Steinhart, The Flakey-Wakey man comes and addresses himself as the German representative. He was late. He came from the frontier. He says that in Germany, there's the Western zone & Eastern zone. You can not go into the Eastern zone unless you have the proper credentials. Of course, since the fall of the U.S.S.R., I believe that Germany is no longer divided, but I could be wrong. He says that the Eastern zone is dangerous. Ralph wants to go to a restaurant and sink his teeth into a German rathskeller. He is later informed that a rathskeller is a restaurant. The man says that for doing something different that most Americans don't do is to take a hike in a German forest. The man: "The German forest has the most beautiful scenery in the WORLD." Ralph likes the idea, but he is alone. Ralph: "In a foreign country, you got to live like a native." Alice: "In Brooklyn, I live like a native." Ed wants to go sightseeing with the girls. Ralph orders to come with him. Wow, what a friend he is. A marching band comes. Ralph grabs the drum and sings a German song. Everyone grabs an instrument and joins Ralph in song Ed gets a horn and scares Ralph when he plays it. Ha!
At a top of a mountain, two Russian people set up a marker and sign that said: "Zutritt Nicht Erlabut 3anpethar 3oha." That sign means that this is a Russian firing area. You can tell that the background in this scene is fake. They leave. Ralph arrives, dropping paper so it will make it easier for him to remember the way back. He looks ridiculous. Ralph: "This will look like a great place for a picnic." Ed comes behind and picks up the trash. Ralph yells at him because he put the trash there so he will remember the way back. Ralph: "We are probably lost." Ed brings up a map. He says that he was a Naval Intelligence during the last war. He could have been drafted to Army Intelligence if didn't have a choice. The marines wanted him but he couldn't spell Montezuma (sp?). He gets out his map and says that he knows where they are; right smack in the middle of the North, South, East & West. He says that they are in another county. The county's name on the map: Verboten. They say that it is like Flushing. Ralph talks about how nice it is up here. They sit down. Ed asks what the sign says. Ralph says that it says: "No smoking." I would ask questions like why a "No smoking" sign would be in the middle of nowhere. as well as how could Ralph say that that sign says "No Smoking" on a sign that has five Russian words. Ed likes hitchhiking Ralph. Ralph says that that marker is there to tell people that this is picnic area. Ed says that Ralph is a walking encyclopedia. Ed tells that Ralph brought some things from Flakey-Wakey boxes back home like a map to tell you where Captain Kidd's treasure is and an Orphan Annie code ring etc. Ed gets Ralph a can opener so he can eat soup. Both of them sing a song about how quiet and peaceful it is up there and they lie on the ground while singing. They get up. Ed smokes a cigarette. Ralph says that they can't, but allows it since no one is around. A firing shot is heard. Ed: "When they mean 'No smoking', they mean it." Ralph: "That was just a sonic boom." More firing shots and explosions are heard and seen. Ralph & Ed duck and cover. The Russians get them and take them back into their headquarters in Russia.
At the Russian headquarters, Ralph & Ed are detained. They are told that they are going to be interrogated. Ed says he will bring this story up in the next meeting of the International Headquarters of the Friendly Raccoons." Ralph: "The Raccoons have no more relations with Russia. Right after our Superior Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler got thrown out of the tea room because he was drunk." Ed: "I hope they don't brainwash us. I would hate to come out of this thing stupid." The interrogator comes. Interrogator: "You two are the two American spies." Ralph says that they are not. Interrogator: "What were you two doing in the Russian firing range?" Ed: "I don't have to tell you anything. Because of the Geneva conventions, all I have to do is tell you my name, address & social security number." Ralph tells him the truth but the interrogator doesn't believe him. Interrogator, grabbing Ed's map, asks what they are doing with this map of Russian gunning placements. Ralph says it isn't and he & Ed try to tell him the truth. It doesn't work. The Interrogator gets out the ring. Ed says he uses it to decipher codes. Boy oh boy! Ralph yells at Ed to tell him what the code is. The code: "My name is Ed Norton. I live at 328 Chauncey Street and my zip code is 10059." The interrogator asks them to confess or they would be transferred to Moscow. The interrogator threatens to torture them. They will put bamboo shoots underneath their finger nails and light them with a match and force your friend to sit down and watch. The interrogator gives them more time and asks the guard to guard them. Ed has a plan. He will trick them into thinking that he is talking into a radio that is in his fountain pen and when the guard comes to see what the matter is, he will shoot the ink in his eyes and escapes. The plan works until Ed realizes that he was using a ballpoint pen. Ha! Ralph has a plan. He gets up and asks if the guard ever saw that 60's TV show that starred Bill Cosby. The guy says no. Ralph beats him up and he is dragged into a closet. Ralph & Ed grab uniforms so they will look like Russians. While this is happening, a Russian person brings in an important man from Moscow and his friend. They leave. Ralph & Ed come out dressed just like the important man and his friend .The plan works until one of the Russian guards sees them and assumes that he is officer Koslov and officer Belinski (the names of the important man from Moscow and his friend.) They say that Russians are planning a banquet in his honor tonight. He offers to drive them to it. "Koslov" tries to decline so he and Norton can escape but Norton, being stupid, says he wants to be driven to the banquet.
At the banquet, Russian dancers (June Taylor dancers) & male dancers are dancing in front of "Koslov" & "Belinski." "Belinski" says he wants to go home and beat the traffic since its Thanksgiving weekend. Ha! Russian: "Thanksgiving?" Ralph says that it is a new holiday in Moscow and the Russian believes him. That Russian must be stupid for him to believe that. They will celebrate Thanksgiving here. The Russian talks to "Koslov" and remembers his childhood with him. He asks what was the nickname that he used to call him. "Belinski" says it was "fatso." Russian: "That's right." They try to leave. Russian: "First you will honor us with a speech." "Koslov" (with a sudden raspy voice): "I would like to make a speech but I got a sore throat." A sore throat that he didn't have five seconds ago. "Koslov" says that "Belinski" also can't make a speech because of his sore throat. "Belinski": "My throat is fine. I will make a speech." He does. "Belinski": "Fellow Raccoons, I mean fellow Russians..." He mentions Governor Ronald Reagan. He talks about the problem with the Chinese is that everyone is ordering from Column A and no one is ordering from Column B. Ha! He ends his speech. The Russian asks to do his kazatski dance. He declines. They try to leave, but they run into the real Belinski and Koslov. Ralph & Ed's reaction, they run through the “glass” windows.
The Kramdens & Nortons are scheduled to leave Berlin at 2:30pm. At the train station the next day, the boys run into the girls and explain the whole situation of where they were and why are they are wearing Russian uniforms. The girls don't believe them even when Ralph says: "Where do you think I got this uniform from" Alice (reading the label): "'The Fat Man's Shop.'" Ralph & Ed see the two people that captured them and asked them what they are doing. They are going on a train to Moscow to celebrate Thanksgiving. Ralph: "I must have done something special for international relations." All of them leave in Berlin, Germany. I hate it when episodes of TV shows end with husbands tell the wives the truth and the wives don't believe them. On a side note, what happened to Ed Norton's kit?
During the curtain call, Jackie just says good night to everyone. That's it. I guess they ran into a time problem.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
Episode #177 (Syndicated episode #6)
TV: One hour long (edited).
DVD: Attached to "We Spy", "Petticoat Jungle" & the bonus feature "The Great Gleason Express."
Air Date: Sat. 11/19/66
"You're In The Picture":
The Kramdens & Nortons have arrived in Madrid, Spain. They begin taking pictures. Ralph takes home movies of the Nortons & Alice. Ralph wants to have a theme for his home movie, so he asks the girls to do some shopping. Alice: "So, the theme is going to be science-fiction?" Ed asks Trixie to kiss him for the picture. Trixie: "So it IS going to be a science-fiction theme." Finally, Ralph asks Norton to act surprised when he sees the girls so he can take a picture. Ed acts surprised in typical Ed Norton fashion which gets Ralph upset. Ralph thinks he will do better in the home movie so people will know what country he is in. He grabs a bullfighter's hat and puts it on the wrong way, but gets corrected. He instructs Ed to put to carry a bull horns and act like a bull and when that happens, Ralph will act as a matador. Ralph holds the blanket (or whatever that thing is) in front of Ed and act like he's saying: 'Toro! Toro!' Ed charges and misses the sheet but "gores" Ralph anyway for the fun of it. Ralph isn't amused. All of them then sing a song about Spain.
An evil woman named Rosetta (whom the audience applauds) and an evil man cook up a scheme. She will instruct a man to kiss her and the man will take a picture of them and plan to release it publicly. Everyone goes shopping but Ralph. The woman (who reveals to Ralph that she is a kindergarten teacher) says to him that a man is following her and asks Ralph to be her boyfriend so he will go away. The "boyfriend" comes, so the woman forces Ralph to engage her in a kiss. Ralph isn't happy since if Alice saw him kissing her, she will get mad. Ralph: "Wives are always misunderstanding things." She leaves. The Nortons & Alice get out. Alice: "That looks like lipstick on your face." I don't see any lipstick on Ralph's face, but nonetheless the actors act is if there is lipstick on Ralph's face. Ralph: "I cut myself shaving." Alice: "And now it is starting to bleed?" Ed: "With the way that Ralph is built, it takes his blood a long time to come to the surface. They leave for the hotel.
At the hotel, Ed is dressed as a matador He dances Ed: "Tony Quinn, eat your heart out." Ralph comes out also dressed as a matador His looks very funny. Ralph answers the door. It's the man who took Ralph's picture of him kissing that "kindergarten teacher." Ralph explains the whole situation. The man charges $500 Ralph to have the picture. Man: "Pay me the $500 or I would give it to your wife." Ed: "Let him give the picture to Alice then you can have the picture for nothing." Ralph then rips up the picture, thinking that will stop his plot. He asks him to get out. Man: "I have 16 more copies plus a negative." The man wants to talk business with Ralph. Ralph asks for more time. The man leaves. Man: "Asta-manyana (sp?)." Ed: "San Diego to you." Ralph says he will never pay a cent. Ralph hopes that the woman isn't married because he thinks that the woman will blackmail her too. Ed asks if the situation was reversed and Ralph saw Alice kissing another man, what would Ralph do. Ralph: "I wouldn't fly off the handle." Sure, he wouldn't right? He's done it many times before He then says: "I would kill the both of them." The boys then sing a song that I think is entitled: "It Doesn't Pay to Tell Your Wife The Truth."
After the fiesta, men & women (June Taylor Dancers) are dancing. The Kramdens & Nortons sit down at an outside diner. Alice is dressed like a very pretty senorita. Ralph is still upset about the whole situation he's involved in. Ralph gets drinks. The girls look around. The "teacher" comes to Ralph's table. Ed recognizes her. Ralph comes back to the table. Ralph is glad to see her. Ralph explains the whole situation. The "teacher" explains that she will tell Alice on how Ralph fell in love with her and flirted with her on the street etc. Ralph then realizes that she is in on the blackmail. The woman says that Ralph should give him $500, so she will keep quiet. Ralph says he will get the money from Alice. Woman: "I will give you until 3pm tomorrow." She leaves. The girls come back. Ralph says to Alice that a situation in which a waiter was involved in. It's the same situation that he's in only that he substitutes himself with a waiter. He asks Alice if she was the waiter's wife would she believe the waiter's story. Alice: "If she does, she's a bigger fool than I am." Ralph: "I'm dead."
At the hotel room the next day, Ed is reading a Superman comic book. Ralph: "Where is she?" Ed: "Maybe school hasn't let out yet?" The woman comes in. Ralph doesn't have the money. Ralph says that he needs more time. Ralph: "If she finds out that you are here, I'm dead." Woman: "I will give you until 3:30." She decides to leave. Ralph spots Alice in the hallway. Ralph hides the woman in the closet. The boys try desperately to hide the woman from each of the wives Alice wants to hang up her coat herself. Ralph, claiming that he wants to be a gentleman, says he will hang up the coat himself. Alice: "All right, you can get my slippers." Ralph: "Get your own slippers." Gee, what a gentleman huh? Trixie comes in. Ed claims that there was a phone call and someone wants to see Trixie in the lobby. Trixie leaves. Alice says she put her slippers in the closet, so Ed gets the woman out and hides her in back of the curtains. Ed tries to secretly tell Ralph that no one is in there and he will go look for the slippers. Ed: "It is too dark in here." Gee, it looks to be very bright in there to me. Ralph opens up the drapes, sees the woman, and immediately closes the drapes without success. So, she asks her to hide behind the couch. Ed sees her. Ed: "Oh, there she is." Ralph slaps Ed. Alice doesn't know what Ed is talking about. Ralph says that Ed meant Alice when he said: "Oh there she is." Ralph asks for a measly $500. Alice wants to know why, but Ralph won't say the real reason. Ralph asks the woman to go downstairs for five minutes. Ed sees Trixie, so the woman is again hid in the closet. Trixie: "There was no one down there that wanted to see me." Ed: "I must be losing my mind." Trixie: "How could you lose something you never had?" Ha.
Alice comes out with the answer of no. A knock on the door is heard. Ralph, thinking that it is the woman, hides Alice in the closet. Alice finally sees the woman. Ralph says that she is a blackmailer. Alice doesn't believe him. The woman gives Alice the hank-lanky photo. Alice: "Don't ever speak to me again Ralph." Ralph gets the door and it's a policeman. He tells the whole story about her and that her friend revealed everything. Alice finally got told the truth. Ralph orders the Nortons to come out. Alice: "Forgive me Ralph." Ralph: "Not yet, I want to enjoy this for a while." Ralph eventually forgives her. This is a reversal of the traditional Kramden antics isn't it? All four of them break out into song that I think is entitled: "Have A Little Faith." They actually march of the set as they sing as a woman off-screen is singing like an opera singer.
At the curtain call, Jackie introduces everyone including the female blackmailer. She was Rita Gam.
Episode #178 (Syndicated episode #7)
TV: Hour (edited).
DVD: Attached to “You’re In The Picture”, “Petticoat Jungle” & "The Great Gleason Express."
Air Date: Sat. 12/3/66
"We Spy":
As the Berlin Express arrives in Germany, a bunch of “Germans” (aka June Taylor Dancers) sing: “Berlin Express Is At The Station Now.” A marching band comes out and plays music as the dancers sing. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive in Germany. Ed is carrying all of the luggage off the train because Ralph claims that he strained his back. He strained his back while putting the luggage in Ed's hands. Ha! Alice asked him why he didn’t get a porter to carry the luggage. He said that he didn't want a porter to take advantage of them. Ed: "I don't need one to take advantage of me. I got you to take advantage of me." They wait for the Flakey-Wakey people. They want their picture taken, so Ed asks a German person. Ed: "Hey Schweinehund" Ralph corrects him. Ralph: "It's Herr Schweinehund." Alice says to greet someone in German, you say: "Mein herr." Ralph tries to ask a German man. The man reveals his bald head and so Ralph says to never mind. Ha! Ed has an idea on how to get a picture of the four of us without having to ask a stranger. Pictures will be taken with two different people and at the end; the pictures will be glued together like a collage. Ralph doesn't like it. He says that it is the most ridiculous story that he ever heard. Ed says: "What about the idea of a grown man dressing up as a cat on Halloween." Ralph: "When did I do that?" Ed: "I did." Mr. Steinhart, The Flakey-Wakey man comes and addresses himself as the German representative. He was late. He came from the frontier. He says that in Germany, there's the Western zone & Eastern zone. You can not go into the Eastern zone unless you have the proper credentials. Of course, since the fall of the U.S.S.R., I believe that Germany is no longer divided, but I could be wrong. He says that the Eastern zone is dangerous. Ralph wants to go to a restaurant and sink his teeth into a German rathskeller. He is later informed that a rathskeller is a restaurant. The man says that for doing something different that most Americans don't do is to take a hike in a German forest. The man: "The German forest has the most beautiful scenery in the WORLD." Ralph likes the idea, but he is alone. Ralph: "In a foreign country, you got to live like a native." Alice: "In Brooklyn, I live like a native." Ed wants to go sightseeing with the girls. Ralph orders to come with him. Wow, what a friend he is. A marching band comes. Ralph grabs the drum and sings a German song. Everyone grabs an instrument and joins Ralph in song Ed gets a horn and scares Ralph when he plays it. Ha!
At a top of a mountain, two Russian people set up a marker and sign that said: "Zutritt Nicht Erlabut 3anpethar 3oha." That sign means that this is a Russian firing area. You can tell that the background in this scene is fake. They leave. Ralph arrives, dropping paper so it will make it easier for him to remember the way back. He looks ridiculous. Ralph: "This will look like a great place for a picnic." Ed comes behind and picks up the trash. Ralph yells at him because he put the trash there so he will remember the way back. Ralph: "We are probably lost." Ed brings up a map. He says that he was a Naval Intelligence during the last war. He could have been drafted to Army Intelligence if didn't have a choice. The marines wanted him but he couldn't spell Montezuma (sp?). He gets out his map and says that he knows where they are; right smack in the middle of the North, South, East & West. He says that they are in another county. The county's name on the map: Verboten. They say that it is like Flushing. Ralph talks about how nice it is up here. They sit down. Ed asks what the sign says. Ralph says that it says: "No smoking." I would ask questions like why a "No smoking" sign would be in the middle of nowhere. as well as how could Ralph say that that sign says "No Smoking" on a sign that has five Russian words. Ed likes hitchhiking Ralph. Ralph says that that marker is there to tell people that this is picnic area. Ed says that Ralph is a walking encyclopedia. Ed tells that Ralph brought some things from Flakey-Wakey boxes back home like a map to tell you where Captain Kidd's treasure is and an Orphan Annie code ring etc. Ed gets Ralph a can opener so he can eat soup. Both of them sing a song about how quiet and peaceful it is up there and they lie on the ground while singing. They get up. Ed smokes a cigarette. Ralph says that they can't, but allows it since no one is around. A firing shot is heard. Ed: "When they mean 'No smoking', they mean it." Ralph: "That was just a sonic boom." More firing shots and explosions are heard and seen. Ralph & Ed duck and cover. The Russians get them and take them back into their headquarters in Russia.
At the Russian headquarters, Ralph & Ed are detained. They are told that they are going to be interrogated. Ed says he will bring this story up in the next meeting of the International Headquarters of the Friendly Raccoons." Ralph: "The Raccoons have no more relations with Russia. Right after our Superior Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler got thrown out of the tea room because he was drunk." Ed: "I hope they don't brainwash us. I would hate to come out of this thing stupid." The interrogator comes. Interrogator: "You two are the two American spies." Ralph says that they are not. Interrogator: "What were you two doing in the Russian firing range?" Ed: "I don't have to tell you anything. Because of the Geneva conventions, all I have to do is tell you my name, address & social security number." Ralph tells him the truth but the interrogator doesn't believe him. Interrogator, grabbing Ed's map, asks what they are doing with this map of Russian gunning placements. Ralph says it isn't and he & Ed try to tell him the truth. It doesn't work. The Interrogator gets out the ring. Ed says he uses it to decipher codes. Boy oh boy! Ralph yells at Ed to tell him what the code is. The code: "My name is Ed Norton. I live at 328 Chauncey Street and my zip code is 10059." The interrogator asks them to confess or they would be transferred to Moscow. The interrogator threatens to torture them. They will put bamboo shoots underneath their finger nails and light them with a match and force your friend to sit down and watch. The interrogator gives them more time and asks the guard to guard them. Ed has a plan. He will trick them into thinking that he is talking into a radio that is in his fountain pen and when the guard comes to see what the matter is, he will shoot the ink in his eyes and escapes. The plan works until Ed realizes that he was using a ballpoint pen. Ha! Ralph has a plan. He gets up and asks if the guard ever saw that 60's TV show that starred Bill Cosby. The guy says no. Ralph beats him up and he is dragged into a closet. Ralph & Ed grab uniforms so they will look like Russians. While this is happening, a Russian person brings in an important man from Moscow and his friend. They leave. Ralph & Ed come out dressed just like the important man and his friend .The plan works until one of the Russian guards sees them and assumes that he is officer Koslov and officer Belinski (the names of the important man from Moscow and his friend.) They say that Russians are planning a banquet in his honor tonight. He offers to drive them to it. "Koslov" tries to decline so he and Norton can escape but Norton, being stupid, says he wants to be driven to the banquet.
At the banquet, Russian dancers (June Taylor dancers) & male dancers are dancing in front of "Koslov" & "Belinski." "Belinski" says he wants to go home and beat the traffic since its Thanksgiving weekend. Ha! Russian: "Thanksgiving?" Ralph says that it is a new holiday in Moscow and the Russian believes him. That Russian must be stupid for him to believe that. They will celebrate Thanksgiving here. The Russian talks to "Koslov" and remembers his childhood with him. He asks what was the nickname that he used to call him. "Belinski" says it was "fatso." Russian: "That's right." They try to leave. Russian: "First you will honor us with a speech." "Koslov" (with a sudden raspy voice): "I would like to make a speech but I got a sore throat." A sore throat that he didn't have five seconds ago. "Koslov" says that "Belinski" also can't make a speech because of his sore throat. "Belinski": "My throat is fine. I will make a speech." He does. "Belinski": "Fellow Raccoons, I mean fellow Russians..." He mentions Governor Ronald Reagan. He talks about the problem with the Chinese is that everyone is ordering from Column A and no one is ordering from Column B. Ha! He ends his speech. The Russian asks to do his kazatski dance. He declines. They try to leave, but they run into the real Belinski and Koslov. Ralph & Ed's reaction, they run through the “glass” windows.
The Kramdens & Nortons are scheduled to leave Berlin at 2:30pm. At the train station the next day, the boys run into the girls and explain the whole situation of where they were and why are they are wearing Russian uniforms. The girls don't believe them even when Ralph says: "Where do you think I got this uniform from" Alice (reading the label): "'The Fat Man's Shop.'" Ralph & Ed see the two people that captured them and asked them what they are doing. They are going on a train to Moscow to celebrate Thanksgiving. Ralph: "I must have done something special for international relations." All of them leave in Berlin, Germany. I hate it when episodes of TV shows end with husbands tell the wives the truth and the wives don't believe them. On a side note, what happened to Ed Norton's kit?
During the curtain call, Jackie just says good night to everyone. That's it. I guess they ran into a time problem.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.