View Full Version : The Honeymooners gang takes a trip out west:


Frank Gannucci
06-12-2018, 08:03 AM
(The Kramdens and Nortons get on the plane.They all sit in a row of seats.)

Ralph: "I can't believe it. We are going to visit Los Angeles and San Francisco again."

Alice: "Ralph, please don't start anything with my parents aboard this trip."

Ralph: "What do you mean? They are not going on vacation."

Ed: "Yes, they are Ralph. I overheard Alice make the plans. Boy Ralph-ie boy you are going to have fun."

Ralph (getting up, yells): "WHAT?"

(Ralph hits his head on the ceiling.)

Ralph (yells): "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Ed: "Ralph, maybe you better not yell during the flight. China doesn't want to hear your voice."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

Alice: "Ralph. You are not to start acting like a baby."

(Alice's parents arrive on the plane.)

Alice's Mom: "Hi Alice, Ed, Trixie & Sonny Boy. It's a wonder that they let you on the plane Ralph. I didn't think that you could fit."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph: "Boy, just one swing."

Alice's Mom: "Also Ralph, they don't serve a five course meal in Coach. They don't even serve it in First Class."

Trixie: "Ralph, please don't ruin this trip for us. I want to see California again."

Ed: "Yeah and I want to see the waters underneath the Golden Gate Bridge. All that water going into the sewers of San Francisco."

Ralph: "Okay. I will control my temper but if you two start anything with me..."

Alice: "All right."

(After a six hour flight, they arrive in Los Angeles. When they get off the plane, Ralph is screaming.)

Alice (yells): "RALPH, IT'S A WONDER WE DIDN'T GET KICKED OFF THIS FLIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU YELLING."

Ralph (yells): "SHE STARTED IT BY MAKING SAYING THAT I AM THE ONLY PERSON THAT SHE KNOWS THAT CAN GIVE A BODY TRANSPLANT TO A WHALE."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON."

Man (yells): "HEY SIR. YOU GAVE ALL OF US A HEADACHE WITH YOUR YELLING."

Ralph (yells): "WATCH IT BUDDY."

Ed: "Ralph, the good thing is because of you yelling on the flight, you might be on TV."

Ralph: "Oh yeah?"

Ed: "You will be on Inside Edition with people bashing you."

Ralph (yells): "OH BOY!"

Alice (yells): "RALPH, YOU APOLOGIZE THIS MINUTE."

Ralph: "Okay. I am sorry. I overacted majorly. I am sad that I ruined this vacation for everyone."

Alice: "Ralph, the vacation just started. We still have 10 days to go."

Ralph: "Baby, you are the greatest."

(They hug and kiss.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.).