Frank Gannucci
05-04-2018, 07:58 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “Away We Go” & “Plastered In Paris”:
Episode #157
DVD: Attached to “Plastered In Paris”, “Behind The Iron Curtain” & “When In Rome.”
Lost Episode Title: "Away We Go."
Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Ship of Fools."
Air Date: Sat. 2/2/57
"Away We Go":
The episode title is the same as one of Jackie’s catchphrases.
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Old Gold Cigarettes are the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Jack Lescoulie comes out from behind the curtain and announces what we are going to see.
There will be gay singing for the Kramdens and Nortons, according to Jack. Jack explains how the Kramdens & Nortons won a trip around the world. And Away We Go…
At the ship's dock, everyone (aka June Taylor dancers) is dancing. They are singing: "We Are Off To Paris." The people from the Flaky Wakey Company arrive and await the Kramdens & Nortons. Ralph is in a loud outfit. Ed has a loud jacket on and Trixie is carrying their entire luggage. They get their picture taken with the girls sitting on the luggage. The photographer feels Alice's leg. Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!" Alice: "All he wants is a little cheese cake." Ralph: "Go To Lindey’s." As the man takes his photo, Ralph ties his shoe so Ralph is not in the picture. D'Oh! Ralph and Ed get their picture taken with a box of Flaky Wakey but one of the Flaky Wakey guys holds the box up in front of Ralph's picture. Ed says that he has been to Europe before and didn't enjoy it because the Germans kept shooting at him but this was after the war. Ralph & Ed argue about who was responsible for winning the contest in which Ralph calls Flaky Wakey junk food. When Ralph is asked what part of Europe he is looking forward to seeing, he begins to sing: "You Can See It in Paris." Everybody joins in. This moment from the lost episode version of this episode was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special in 2002. They all go on the ship as everyone is singing “We Are Off To Paris.”
On the ship, a member of the crew announces that it's second sitting for lunch. The girls love the food on the ship. Ralph comes out wearing a VERY LOUD outfit. Ed comes out carrying a life saver. Ed throws his vest away. They sit down and cover themselves with blankets. For some reason, Ed is having trouble tucking himself in so he offers to Ralph that he will tuck him in if Ralph tucks him in. Ralph agrees and tucks Ed in but now Ralph wants to be tucked in. Ed tucks him in and asks Ralph to tuck him in. Ralph yells at Ed. Ed then writes telegrams to members of the sewer workers in which all of them end up saying “Give My Regards.” Ed: “‘Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry.’ ‘Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce.’ ‘Dear George: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce & Harry.’ ‘Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. I suggest you keep an eye on Bruce, Harry & George because they are standing around, giving each other regards…’” Ralph (yells): “COME ON WITH THE THING!” A man in a turban sits down next to them. Ralph says that he is an Indian. Ed (to the person): "How Kemosabe." The man leaves. Ralph calls Ed stupid and says that was an India Indian and the reason why he has that thing on his head (turban) because he just washed his hair. A French man sits down next to them. French Man: "Bon Jour Miseour." Ed (taking his snacks): "Don't mind if I do." His gal pal, Suzette, comes around and she talks French to him. After he keeps on saying: "No, I can't! I can't!” Ed says: "What is she saying? Maybe I can." They leave. A crew member offers them champagne. Ralph says that he never touches the stuff. The man says that the champagne is free. Ralph then asks for some champagne. Ed he likes the "badminton" court. Ralph: "Must you show your ignorance. This is a hopscotch court." Actually, it's neither. Ralph says that they use little weights on ships. Ralph throws the weight down on the No. 1 spot and hop scotches all the way up and down the court. He looks ridiculous. Ed tries to do the same but he slowly runs rather than hop scotches. Ralph is starting to get seasick. Ed says he was seasick when he first started out in the sewer. Ralph & Ed then sing: "I Never Felt Better In My Life." Ralph walks around. Ed walks around with him. They get into the life boat and accidentally release it into the water. D'Oh! Two crewmembers come by and said that nothing much has happened so far. How could they not hear the boat sinking into the ocean?
While on the life boat, Ralph and eat are sitting down. It is VERY obvious that the water is fake. It looks like that they are on a blanket. Ralph is blaming Ed for the mishap. Ralph: "You did it again." Ralph says that they will never spot us. Ed disagrees since they should be able to spot Ralph. Ed: "The Navy may think that Bermuda may break loose. Ed tries to look on the bright side, especially since he may never see Trixie again. Ralph says that he has to be saved to get away from Ed. Ed tries to think up a game in which he is thinking of a motion picture star and the other guy has to guess who he is thinking off. Ralph is thinking of one. Ed: "Marilyn Monroe." Ralph says that he is right. Ed's turn. Ed's hint: The person has a mustache Ralph: "Man or woman?" Ed: "His initials are J.B." Ralph gets stumped. Ed: "George Brent." Ralph is losing his mind. Ed is starting to get cold. So he wraps himself up. Ed finds a lot of things like a radio. Ralph: "We can send for help." Ralph cranks and sends. Ed sings: "Seems Like Old…" Ed sends the message by pressing one of the radio's buttons. Ed listens for the answer but doesn't hear anything. Ralph listens, but doesn't hear anything important. Ed finds a bottle of booze. They drink it. Ralph: "If I'm going to be out here for a long time, I want to get loaded right now." They are drunk. They say that each other is the best friend that they have ever had. They sing: "Let Me Die With A Pal Like You." They interrupt the singing to remember when they were like kids growing up and going to school and meeting people before continuing the song. A ship spots them. Ed says that they will be saved. Ralph says to lie down so they won’t see us. Ed does.
At the dock in France, everyone is singing: "We Are Off To Paris." The Kramdens & Nortons come out. The girls say that the husbands embarrassed them by going lost on that lifeboat and coming back drunk. It is revealed that the boys were saved by their ship (and in the process, they were a day late scheduling-wise). Alice says that the Flaky Wakey representative was supposed to meet them. The Irish representative of Flaky Wakey comes by and offers to take their picture. Ralph says that this time, he will be in the picture. Ralph gets on a thing with wheels with Ed. It rolls and Ed apparently jumps off while Ralph falls into the water but comes back drenched seconds later. They leave the ship area as everyone sings “We Are Off To Paris.”
Time for the curtain call, Jackie says that he hopes the audience loved their first attempt at musical comedy and that they will continue to make more of these. The audience applauds. He introduces the cast. The cast comes out all at once unlike in the Color Honeymooners. He also calls out Lyn Duddy and Jerry Bressler. Jackie also thanks his orchestra leader, Ray Bloch.
The announcer then plugs Bulova (the world leader in fine watches and radios) and asks the audience to tune in next week as Bulova presents the Jackie Gleason Show. The Glee Girls all come out one by one as the announcer tries to read EVERY line in the credits. On a side note, I didn’t know that Bulova made radios.
Episode #158
DVD: Attached to “Away We Go”, “Behind The Iron Curtain” & “When In Rome.”
Lost Episode Title: "Plastered In Paris."
Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Poor People of Paris."
Air Date: Sat. 2/9/57
"Plastered In Paris":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Bulova is the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Martin Green is the guest star. Jack Lescoulie comes out and announces that the Kramdens and Nortons have arrived in France. Jack: “Gay Pariee has become even gayer.”
The storyline for this episode is very similar to an I Love Lucy episode entitled: “Paris, At Last.”
The episode opens up with a hotel butler (played by Martin Green) and maids (June Taylor Dancers) and other cleaners are singing: "The Americans Are Coming" in which some of the lyrics are: "they are very rich." Sure. Isn't a coincidence that when a TV family goes to a foreign language-speaking country, they always run into at least one person that speaks their language? I read somewhere that Martin Green in this episode had the very same role in the ’66 version. Only in that version, he suffered a very serious leg injury which required him to have that leg amputated. So, he did that number on a fake leg. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive. Butler: "On behalf of Belle France, we welcome you." Ralph: "On behalf of Brooklyn, we thank you again." The cleaners and maids leave. Ralph: “They remind me of the June Taylor Dancers in the States.” Ralph says that this hotel room is not what they are used to because it doesn't have the conveniences they got at home. Ralph: "We have a suite like this for the servants. We have a maid, a butler, a cook, a washer woman, a cleaning woman, a handy man." Butler: "Did you bring all of them with you?" Alice: "Yes, he did and I'm pleased to meet you." The butler leaves. The girls and Ed get ready to go sight-seeing Ralph calls downstairs and asks for carnations. A knock on the door is heard. Alice answers the door. The bellboys come in and make a crepe suzettes (French pancakes) and in order to do so, they have to start a fire on their little stove. Trixie comes in. Ralph comes in and thinks that the room is on fire and puts it out. Ed comes out. Alice explains that crepe suzettes are supposed to be on fire. Alice is upset. Ralph admits it. Ralph: “When you make a mistake, I don’t embarrass you. On the boat, they brought out the bowl of water with the lemon in it. Did you drink the water like everyone else? No. You played with the lemon.” Alice apologizes. A bellboy (played by George Petrie) comes in with the carnations. Ralph says that they have to exchange their American money for French Francs. They leave to go get ready to go to the bank. The bellboy calls Pierre. They plan on giving the boys counterfeit money. Ralph comes out. The bellboy says that he knows a “better” rate of exchange. Henri and his small assistant come in and give Ralph & Ed a “better” rate of exchange. The small assistant says in French (with the bellhop translating): "It's been a pleasure to give YOU the business." They boys tell the wives of their good fortune and they are happy. The girls sing: "Buy, Buy, Buy." Ralph can’t wait to spend the money. Ralph & Ed continue the song: “Buy, Buy, Buy.”
At a French café called Le Dome, the dancers are singing: "In Paris." Ralph & Ed order lunch. Ralph continues to badly speak French by saying to the owner that they want the best table. Ralph calls the waiter "Gargoyle." It is actually Garcon, I think. Ed says he may not speak French like Ralph, but he speaks a little Greek. He says "Stromberry." Ralph: "Norton, in the month of May, don't come out of the house because that is when they gather nuts." A cop comes by and asks them if they want tickets to the Gendarme's Ball that is in four weeks. Ed says that they won't be here by that time and says no. Ralph says they will buy the tickets even though they won't be here because the ticket money is going to be used for charity. How did he know that? Ralph buys a lot of them. Ralph calls the “Gargoyle.” Ralph says that he wants to eat. He doesn’t like to drink on an empty stomach. Ed: “That may take time. The bars may be closed.” Ed wants a banana split. Ralph says that he will embarrass him by eating a banana split, so he asks him to change his order. Typical Ralph. Ed: "But, I want one." Ralph: "All right, embarrass yourself." Ralph calls the waiter and asks for something in French. Waiter: "All right. TWO banana splits." Ralph just embarrassed himself. Ralph calls for a guy with an accordion and asks to play some French music. Ed pays the guy with the francs. The waiter comes by with the food and Ralph pays the waiter. The café owner comes out and is upset that Ralph & Ed have counterfeit money. He learned that somebody has been passing around counterfeit money. The cop, who came by earlier, comes by. The cop and café owner are upset when the money they have gotten from those two is counterfeit. The cop arrest Ralph & Ed and take them to jail.
In jail, Ed notices something written on the wall that says: "They will never hold me in here. Count of Monte Crisco." Ed suggests breaking out. He saw Bruce Cabot do it in a motion picture. Ed ties to bed sheets together. He tosses on end out the window (that has bars.) Ed says that they have to climb using the sheets and slip through the bars to make it out onto the street. How dumb is Ed? Ralph asks Ed to go over that again. Ed does but realizes how dumb that plan is. Ed suggests getting the American ambassador in France by getting the guard to come in here and speak sign language. They will play Charades with him. They will say: “We are Americans from Brooklyn who won the Flaky Wakey around the world contest. They came over by boat. They got framed. They are innocent. Call the American ambassador.” They get the guard in. They play Charades to tell the guard what they wanted to say. When they get to the part that they are from Brooklyn, they imitate the (now San Francisco) Giants since they think that everyone knows the Giants. What about the Yankees? When they get to the part that they won a trip around the world, Ed runs around Ralph. Ha! After all this, the guard reveals that he speaks perfect English. The guard leaves.
The girls come in. They are arrested for giving counterfeit money too. Trixie: "I have never been so humiliated. Being picked up like… I don't know who I am." Alice is fed up this time. They sing: "So Upset." After that, the Paris representative from the Flaky Wakey Company comes in. When Alice was arrested, she called the Flaky Wakey Company. He bailed them out. He says that he will get them out of the trouble with the French law by everything to the proper authorities. The Nortons leave. But Alice & Ralph stay for a while and Ralph literally sings the praises of Alice. The song is: “You Are Wonderful.” Alice still upset despite being happy seconds earlier and leaves in a huff with Ralph in tow.
The next day, at the Le Dome, the Kramdens & Nortons are having some champagne. They want to enjoy their last day in Paris. Ralph & Ed then see Pierre and his small assistant come by with the suitcase full of phony money and nab them. Ed takes the evidence. They see a cop and Ralph demands that Pierre confess everything because Ralph doesn't know French. The small assistant then lies to the cop about Ralph & Ed being counterfeiters and the cop puts Ralph & Ed in jail. Everyone (June Taylor Dancers) sing: “We Are Off To Paris.”
Jackie comes out for the curtain call. Jackie says that he hopes the audience enjoyed the musical comedy. The crowd applauds. He introduces the cast again all at once (including Martin Green, but Martin doesn’t come out.) Jackie also thanks Andy Russell and Sid, the writers. They wrote the show within a few days notice. Jackie says he wants to give Sid more credit but he can’t think of his last name. Jackie gets informed that the last name is Zelinka. Jackie: “See? I didn’t forget with the lyrics and everything.” Jackie also thanks Marvin Marx, Herb Finn and Walter Stone. He also thanks his orchestra leader, Ray Bloch. Jackie also thanks the lyric writers: Lynn Duddey and Jerry Bressler.
The announcer then plugs Old Gold Cigarettes and asks the audience to tune in next week as Old Gold presents the Jackie Gleason Show. The Glee Girls all come out one by one as the announcer tries to read EVERY line in the credits.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
Episode #157
DVD: Attached to “Plastered In Paris”, “Behind The Iron Curtain” & “When In Rome.”
Lost Episode Title: "Away We Go."
Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Ship of Fools."
Air Date: Sat. 2/2/57
"Away We Go":
The episode title is the same as one of Jackie’s catchphrases.
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Old Gold Cigarettes are the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Jack Lescoulie comes out from behind the curtain and announces what we are going to see.
There will be gay singing for the Kramdens and Nortons, according to Jack. Jack explains how the Kramdens & Nortons won a trip around the world. And Away We Go…
At the ship's dock, everyone (aka June Taylor dancers) is dancing. They are singing: "We Are Off To Paris." The people from the Flaky Wakey Company arrive and await the Kramdens & Nortons. Ralph is in a loud outfit. Ed has a loud jacket on and Trixie is carrying their entire luggage. They get their picture taken with the girls sitting on the luggage. The photographer feels Alice's leg. Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!" Alice: "All he wants is a little cheese cake." Ralph: "Go To Lindey’s." As the man takes his photo, Ralph ties his shoe so Ralph is not in the picture. D'Oh! Ralph and Ed get their picture taken with a box of Flaky Wakey but one of the Flaky Wakey guys holds the box up in front of Ralph's picture. Ed says that he has been to Europe before and didn't enjoy it because the Germans kept shooting at him but this was after the war. Ralph & Ed argue about who was responsible for winning the contest in which Ralph calls Flaky Wakey junk food. When Ralph is asked what part of Europe he is looking forward to seeing, he begins to sing: "You Can See It in Paris." Everybody joins in. This moment from the lost episode version of this episode was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special in 2002. They all go on the ship as everyone is singing “We Are Off To Paris.”
On the ship, a member of the crew announces that it's second sitting for lunch. The girls love the food on the ship. Ralph comes out wearing a VERY LOUD outfit. Ed comes out carrying a life saver. Ed throws his vest away. They sit down and cover themselves with blankets. For some reason, Ed is having trouble tucking himself in so he offers to Ralph that he will tuck him in if Ralph tucks him in. Ralph agrees and tucks Ed in but now Ralph wants to be tucked in. Ed tucks him in and asks Ralph to tuck him in. Ralph yells at Ed. Ed then writes telegrams to members of the sewer workers in which all of them end up saying “Give My Regards.” Ed: “‘Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry.’ ‘Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce.’ ‘Dear George: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce & Harry.’ ‘Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. I suggest you keep an eye on Bruce, Harry & George because they are standing around, giving each other regards…’” Ralph (yells): “COME ON WITH THE THING!” A man in a turban sits down next to them. Ralph says that he is an Indian. Ed (to the person): "How Kemosabe." The man leaves. Ralph calls Ed stupid and says that was an India Indian and the reason why he has that thing on his head (turban) because he just washed his hair. A French man sits down next to them. French Man: "Bon Jour Miseour." Ed (taking his snacks): "Don't mind if I do." His gal pal, Suzette, comes around and she talks French to him. After he keeps on saying: "No, I can't! I can't!” Ed says: "What is she saying? Maybe I can." They leave. A crew member offers them champagne. Ralph says that he never touches the stuff. The man says that the champagne is free. Ralph then asks for some champagne. Ed he likes the "badminton" court. Ralph: "Must you show your ignorance. This is a hopscotch court." Actually, it's neither. Ralph says that they use little weights on ships. Ralph throws the weight down on the No. 1 spot and hop scotches all the way up and down the court. He looks ridiculous. Ed tries to do the same but he slowly runs rather than hop scotches. Ralph is starting to get seasick. Ed says he was seasick when he first started out in the sewer. Ralph & Ed then sing: "I Never Felt Better In My Life." Ralph walks around. Ed walks around with him. They get into the life boat and accidentally release it into the water. D'Oh! Two crewmembers come by and said that nothing much has happened so far. How could they not hear the boat sinking into the ocean?
While on the life boat, Ralph and eat are sitting down. It is VERY obvious that the water is fake. It looks like that they are on a blanket. Ralph is blaming Ed for the mishap. Ralph: "You did it again." Ralph says that they will never spot us. Ed disagrees since they should be able to spot Ralph. Ed: "The Navy may think that Bermuda may break loose. Ed tries to look on the bright side, especially since he may never see Trixie again. Ralph says that he has to be saved to get away from Ed. Ed tries to think up a game in which he is thinking of a motion picture star and the other guy has to guess who he is thinking off. Ralph is thinking of one. Ed: "Marilyn Monroe." Ralph says that he is right. Ed's turn. Ed's hint: The person has a mustache Ralph: "Man or woman?" Ed: "His initials are J.B." Ralph gets stumped. Ed: "George Brent." Ralph is losing his mind. Ed is starting to get cold. So he wraps himself up. Ed finds a lot of things like a radio. Ralph: "We can send for help." Ralph cranks and sends. Ed sings: "Seems Like Old…" Ed sends the message by pressing one of the radio's buttons. Ed listens for the answer but doesn't hear anything. Ralph listens, but doesn't hear anything important. Ed finds a bottle of booze. They drink it. Ralph: "If I'm going to be out here for a long time, I want to get loaded right now." They are drunk. They say that each other is the best friend that they have ever had. They sing: "Let Me Die With A Pal Like You." They interrupt the singing to remember when they were like kids growing up and going to school and meeting people before continuing the song. A ship spots them. Ed says that they will be saved. Ralph says to lie down so they won’t see us. Ed does.
At the dock in France, everyone is singing: "We Are Off To Paris." The Kramdens & Nortons come out. The girls say that the husbands embarrassed them by going lost on that lifeboat and coming back drunk. It is revealed that the boys were saved by their ship (and in the process, they were a day late scheduling-wise). Alice says that the Flaky Wakey representative was supposed to meet them. The Irish representative of Flaky Wakey comes by and offers to take their picture. Ralph says that this time, he will be in the picture. Ralph gets on a thing with wheels with Ed. It rolls and Ed apparently jumps off while Ralph falls into the water but comes back drenched seconds later. They leave the ship area as everyone sings “We Are Off To Paris.”
Time for the curtain call, Jackie says that he hopes the audience loved their first attempt at musical comedy and that they will continue to make more of these. The audience applauds. He introduces the cast. The cast comes out all at once unlike in the Color Honeymooners. He also calls out Lyn Duddy and Jerry Bressler. Jackie also thanks his orchestra leader, Ray Bloch.
The announcer then plugs Bulova (the world leader in fine watches and radios) and asks the audience to tune in next week as Bulova presents the Jackie Gleason Show. The Glee Girls all come out one by one as the announcer tries to read EVERY line in the credits. On a side note, I didn’t know that Bulova made radios.
Episode #158
DVD: Attached to “Away We Go”, “Behind The Iron Curtain” & “When In Rome.”
Lost Episode Title: "Plastered In Paris."
Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Poor People of Paris."
Air Date: Sat. 2/9/57
"Plastered In Paris":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Bulova is the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Martin Green is the guest star. Jack Lescoulie comes out and announces that the Kramdens and Nortons have arrived in France. Jack: “Gay Pariee has become even gayer.”
The storyline for this episode is very similar to an I Love Lucy episode entitled: “Paris, At Last.”
The episode opens up with a hotel butler (played by Martin Green) and maids (June Taylor Dancers) and other cleaners are singing: "The Americans Are Coming" in which some of the lyrics are: "they are very rich." Sure. Isn't a coincidence that when a TV family goes to a foreign language-speaking country, they always run into at least one person that speaks their language? I read somewhere that Martin Green in this episode had the very same role in the ’66 version. Only in that version, he suffered a very serious leg injury which required him to have that leg amputated. So, he did that number on a fake leg. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive. Butler: "On behalf of Belle France, we welcome you." Ralph: "On behalf of Brooklyn, we thank you again." The cleaners and maids leave. Ralph: “They remind me of the June Taylor Dancers in the States.” Ralph says that this hotel room is not what they are used to because it doesn't have the conveniences they got at home. Ralph: "We have a suite like this for the servants. We have a maid, a butler, a cook, a washer woman, a cleaning woman, a handy man." Butler: "Did you bring all of them with you?" Alice: "Yes, he did and I'm pleased to meet you." The butler leaves. The girls and Ed get ready to go sight-seeing Ralph calls downstairs and asks for carnations. A knock on the door is heard. Alice answers the door. The bellboys come in and make a crepe suzettes (French pancakes) and in order to do so, they have to start a fire on their little stove. Trixie comes in. Ralph comes in and thinks that the room is on fire and puts it out. Ed comes out. Alice explains that crepe suzettes are supposed to be on fire. Alice is upset. Ralph admits it. Ralph: “When you make a mistake, I don’t embarrass you. On the boat, they brought out the bowl of water with the lemon in it. Did you drink the water like everyone else? No. You played with the lemon.” Alice apologizes. A bellboy (played by George Petrie) comes in with the carnations. Ralph says that they have to exchange their American money for French Francs. They leave to go get ready to go to the bank. The bellboy calls Pierre. They plan on giving the boys counterfeit money. Ralph comes out. The bellboy says that he knows a “better” rate of exchange. Henri and his small assistant come in and give Ralph & Ed a “better” rate of exchange. The small assistant says in French (with the bellhop translating): "It's been a pleasure to give YOU the business." They boys tell the wives of their good fortune and they are happy. The girls sing: "Buy, Buy, Buy." Ralph can’t wait to spend the money. Ralph & Ed continue the song: “Buy, Buy, Buy.”
At a French café called Le Dome, the dancers are singing: "In Paris." Ralph & Ed order lunch. Ralph continues to badly speak French by saying to the owner that they want the best table. Ralph calls the waiter "Gargoyle." It is actually Garcon, I think. Ed says he may not speak French like Ralph, but he speaks a little Greek. He says "Stromberry." Ralph: "Norton, in the month of May, don't come out of the house because that is when they gather nuts." A cop comes by and asks them if they want tickets to the Gendarme's Ball that is in four weeks. Ed says that they won't be here by that time and says no. Ralph says they will buy the tickets even though they won't be here because the ticket money is going to be used for charity. How did he know that? Ralph buys a lot of them. Ralph calls the “Gargoyle.” Ralph says that he wants to eat. He doesn’t like to drink on an empty stomach. Ed: “That may take time. The bars may be closed.” Ed wants a banana split. Ralph says that he will embarrass him by eating a banana split, so he asks him to change his order. Typical Ralph. Ed: "But, I want one." Ralph: "All right, embarrass yourself." Ralph calls the waiter and asks for something in French. Waiter: "All right. TWO banana splits." Ralph just embarrassed himself. Ralph calls for a guy with an accordion and asks to play some French music. Ed pays the guy with the francs. The waiter comes by with the food and Ralph pays the waiter. The café owner comes out and is upset that Ralph & Ed have counterfeit money. He learned that somebody has been passing around counterfeit money. The cop, who came by earlier, comes by. The cop and café owner are upset when the money they have gotten from those two is counterfeit. The cop arrest Ralph & Ed and take them to jail.
In jail, Ed notices something written on the wall that says: "They will never hold me in here. Count of Monte Crisco." Ed suggests breaking out. He saw Bruce Cabot do it in a motion picture. Ed ties to bed sheets together. He tosses on end out the window (that has bars.) Ed says that they have to climb using the sheets and slip through the bars to make it out onto the street. How dumb is Ed? Ralph asks Ed to go over that again. Ed does but realizes how dumb that plan is. Ed suggests getting the American ambassador in France by getting the guard to come in here and speak sign language. They will play Charades with him. They will say: “We are Americans from Brooklyn who won the Flaky Wakey around the world contest. They came over by boat. They got framed. They are innocent. Call the American ambassador.” They get the guard in. They play Charades to tell the guard what they wanted to say. When they get to the part that they are from Brooklyn, they imitate the (now San Francisco) Giants since they think that everyone knows the Giants. What about the Yankees? When they get to the part that they won a trip around the world, Ed runs around Ralph. Ha! After all this, the guard reveals that he speaks perfect English. The guard leaves.
The girls come in. They are arrested for giving counterfeit money too. Trixie: "I have never been so humiliated. Being picked up like… I don't know who I am." Alice is fed up this time. They sing: "So Upset." After that, the Paris representative from the Flaky Wakey Company comes in. When Alice was arrested, she called the Flaky Wakey Company. He bailed them out. He says that he will get them out of the trouble with the French law by everything to the proper authorities. The Nortons leave. But Alice & Ralph stay for a while and Ralph literally sings the praises of Alice. The song is: “You Are Wonderful.” Alice still upset despite being happy seconds earlier and leaves in a huff with Ralph in tow.
The next day, at the Le Dome, the Kramdens & Nortons are having some champagne. They want to enjoy their last day in Paris. Ralph & Ed then see Pierre and his small assistant come by with the suitcase full of phony money and nab them. Ed takes the evidence. They see a cop and Ralph demands that Pierre confess everything because Ralph doesn't know French. The small assistant then lies to the cop about Ralph & Ed being counterfeiters and the cop puts Ralph & Ed in jail. Everyone (June Taylor Dancers) sing: “We Are Off To Paris.”
Jackie comes out for the curtain call. Jackie says that he hopes the audience enjoyed the musical comedy. The crowd applauds. He introduces the cast again all at once (including Martin Green, but Martin doesn’t come out.) Jackie also thanks Andy Russell and Sid, the writers. They wrote the show within a few days notice. Jackie says he wants to give Sid more credit but he can’t think of his last name. Jackie gets informed that the last name is Zelinka. Jackie: “See? I didn’t forget with the lyrics and everything.” Jackie also thanks Marvin Marx, Herb Finn and Walter Stone. He also thanks his orchestra leader, Ray Bloch. Jackie also thanks the lyric writers: Lynn Duddey and Jerry Bressler.
The announcer then plugs Old Gold Cigarettes and asks the audience to tune in next week as Old Gold presents the Jackie Gleason Show. The Glee Girls all come out one by one as the announcer tries to read EVERY line in the credits.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.