I got one of my computers to work and...I can finally do stuff at home!

So without further ado...here's...

Sitcom Family Feud #7...ALF!

Announcer: Welcome Back to another Sitcom Family Feud! And here's your host...the ghost of Richard Dawson!

Richard Dawson:Well...welcome back to Sitcom Family Feud, I'm Richard Dawson who's actually alive on Buzzr TV! And here's our returning champions...The Warners!

Warners walk in.

Richard: So Tony...what's going on in your world?

Tony: Well...The Cleveland Clowns go 0-16 soon and I'm gonna celebrate it by walking down the Clowns parade in nothing but my Birthday Suit!

Richard: In January?

Tony: Hey...I'll be too drunk to know!

Richard: Now we have Helen back with us...

Helen: Well...school is on Holiday Vacation, but all I know is that I'll be back working on the 3rd of January.

Richard: Best to you, Helen...then there's Paul, but I'll skip him since he'll talk about how dull his life is...

Paul: Wait A Minute!

Richard:What is it?

Paul: I DO have a Life...but my wife won't let me!

Richard: Your Wife? You're Married?

Paul: Yes...to my job!

Richard: Nope...still uninterested! Next up, we have Dustin! So...you're no longer with Kathleen?

Dustin: Nope...but now I live at home again!

Richard: Well...you still have a bloody good story than your brother...

Paul: Hey!

Richard: And finally, we have Margaret Warner. I hear you have a business.

Margaret: Yes...It's called The Liszt Wood Craft.

Richard: How much have you made?

Margaret: Not much...my half-brother John says that he can do better.

Richard: Well...nevertheless...here's the Tanner Family!

The Tanners from Alf arrive. Richard walks toward them.

Richard: Wait a minute...I already had The Tanner Family up here!

Willie Tanner: No...that would be my cousin Danny in San Francisco.

Richard: You're related?

Willie: Yes...and I'm William Tanner, but you can call me Willie. And I'm a social worker in San Fernando, California.

Richard: Well...here's your wife, I take it...

Richard hugs Kate

Kate: I'm Katherine Tanner, but you can call me Kate. I'm a stay-at-home mother and I have two wonderful children...

Richard: I see...and be okay if I hug you?

Lynn: Sure!

Richard hugs Lynn.

Richard: With everything happening today, I just wanna be safe than sorry.

Lynn: That's cool.

Richard: So...what's your name and what do you do?

Lynn: I'm Lynn Tanner and I'm a little shy.

Richard: Then...you're brave to be on a game show!

Lynn: Well...It was ALF's Idea!

Richard: And here's the other child. What's your name?

Brian: Brian Tanner. I too get a lot of bouts with ALF.

Richard: Who is this ALF?

ALF: That's Me, Mr. Dawson!

Richard: Good Lord! What the bloody hell is that?

ALF: I'm ALF, but my real name is Gordon Shumway!

Richard: So...where are you from?

ALF: I'm from planet Melmac! It exploded in the 80's and I thought I could be the next Superman since he and I came from planets that exploded!

Richard: Okay, now...let's start the feud!

Richard goes to his podium and Willie and Tony walk to their positions and both shake hands.

Richard: Okay, we have surveyed 100 people with these six answers on the board. Besides beef, name a type of meat!

Tony Buzzes In

Tony: Mine!

Richard: What do you mean mine?

Tony: Well...think about that Dickie!

Richard: What have I told you about that? Is that some innuendo?

Tony: Wouldn't you like to know?

Richard: Okay...show me Tony's Meat...whatever that means...

BUZZ

Tony: WHAT?

Richard: I think they mean the meat you can eat...now Willie...besides beef, name a type of meat.

Willie: We had this last night...pork!

Richard: Okay...show me pork, the other white meat!

Pork is the #2 answer. 25 people answered pork.

Richard: So Tanners...do you wanna play or pass?

Willie: We will play!

Tony: And I passed...ooh...a lot of meat was in my system last night!

Richard walks down the Tanners podium.

Richard: Good Lord that stinks! Okay Kate...besides beef, name a type of meat.

Kate: How about...chicken?

Richard: Well...let's not be chicken for chicken...show me chicken!

Chicken is the #1 answer. 35 people chose chicken/poultry.

Richard: Okay Lynn...besides beef, name a type of meat.

Lynn: I'm not a fan of it, but...fish?

Richard: Okay...are we fishy for fish?

Fish/Seafood is the #3 answer. 20 people chose fish/seafood.

Richard: I can go for some fish and chips now...okay Brian...three more answers are up there, so...besides beef, name a type of meat.

Brian: I hear lamb is a meat.

Richard: Okay...give me the main part of shepherd's pie...some good old lamb!

Lamb is the #4 answer. 10 people chose lamb.

Richard: Okay ALF...or shall I call you Gordon?

ALF: ALF is fine.

Richard: Besides beef, name a type of meat...

ALF: I got it! Cats!

Richard: I don't think anyone here eats cats...

ALF: But I do...they're a delicacy, especially for Melmac.

Richard: Okay...give me...cats.

BUZZ

Richard: It isn't anything here in the states.

Richard walks toward the Warners podium as they bicker on what the answer for the steal should be, horse or deer.

Paul: Would you listen to me for once? The answer is deer!

Tony: Richard...we got the answer for the steal and it is...horse! Well...some people could eat a horse!

Richard: Well...let's see if you got the steal...show me...horse!

1 person chose horse for the answer.

Richard: You got the win again...now...what was the #5 answer?

4 people chose deer/game.

Audience: Deer and Game!

Richard: I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to this Tanner family!

Willie: We could've won if only ALF didn't mention his favorite meat!

ALF: Look...some people here DO eat cats!

Willie: But not in America!

As the Tanners are about to leave...Agents J and K arrive to the stage.

Agent K: Is there a Gordon Shumway here?

ALF: Yeah, that's me...why?

Agent K: You are required to come to the MIB Headquarters at once!

Richard: Guys...what is all this?

Agent K: ALF is required to go to the MIB Headquarters for his annual documentation, but don't worry...he'll return t the Tanner Family at once.

Willie: Send him to my cousin Danny this time!

Agent J: Why? What did he do?

Willie: He blew the game! His answer was "cats" as food!

Agent K: They are a delicacy where Gordon Shumway lived.

ALF: Told Ya!

Willie: Let's get the hell outta here before I get real mad!

Agents J and K take ALF backstage and then return wearing sunglasses and the Neuralyzer which they point at Richard Dawson.

Agent K: Okay...the family that was here were the Tanners. They have all went home and the next thing you do is ask someone to play in the bonus round.

Agent J: And...you should change the design of your game show, cause...damn!

Richard: Where am I? Oh yeah...who's gonna play fast money?

The Warners except Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is!

Paul walks by Richard Dawson.

Paul: I wish I could get zapped by the Neuralyzer!

Richard: Well...you got some good answers, maybe this time you'll get some that the panelists may get. Give me 15 seconds on the clock.

:15 is seen.

Richard: The clock counts down once I say the first question. Name a type of fruit that is yellow.

Paul: Starfruit!

BUZZ

Richard: Name something you squeeze!

Paul: Toilet Paper!

BUZZ

Richard: Name a part of the phone.

Paul: The Switch Hook!

BUZZ

Richard: name an animal that lives in the mountains.

Paul: Pallas Cat!

BUZZ

Richard: Name a first name that starts with a K.

Paul: Kenan!

BUZZ

Richard: Again...you stumped our panelists. Those are good answers, but still you have zero points. But don't worry...'cause you get to come back tomorrow for more Sitcom Family Feud!