One of the funniest episodes iv'e ever seen was the episode where Martin Mull's character has agoraphobia. I was laughing so hard when he left his house for the first time in twenty some years, and had the misfortune of being the one millionth customer at the store Dorothy took him too. Another funny episode was the one where Sophia made a joke about not having a bowl movement for 10 days. This has probably been asked before, but what are some of your favorite Golden Girls lines, or episodes?

The ELECTRIC BLANKET episode is a classic... although I'm not sure if this was ever an actual episode or just in one of the "memory" shows.

The girls all pile into Sophia's bed when the heat goes out. Rose forgets to say her prayers....

VOICE: Rose, thanks for the lovely prayer. Now shut up and get into bed....

ROSE: Amen!!

pause a few seconds...

BLANCHE: Nice work, Dorothy.

DOROTHY: It wasn't me.

BLANCHE: Sweet Jesus am I in trouble!! (this line is cut out of Lifetime, but I remember it from the original)

I think my two favorite episodes are when all the girls have the flu (except Sophia) and the one where Dorothy goes out of town for a few days and Sophia sneaks off to Sicily.

Blanche says something how she wishes Sophia was her mother so she could put her in Shady Pines. At the end of the show, Blanche finds out Sophia went to Sicily so there she is riding a mule into the village just like Sophia did around the middle of the show.

Also I always crack up when Rose pretends to be interviewing Dorothy and Sophia rolls up the magazine and pretends it's a camera and Rose brings up how Dorothy has a whole drawer full of retirement home brochures and D. says those times when Ma makes her crazy, she goes to look at them to have some pretend time.
:D

There are so many hilarious episodes. My fave episode is when Rose wins St. Olaf's Woman of the Year and all of the girls travel to St. Olaf for the ceremony. When on the rickity plane, a guy jumps out of the airplane with a parachute once the plane flies over his destination!!! Then, when they are travelling in a hay wagon to get to St. Olaf, Rose is reminiscing about her childhood friend, Ingrid. Blanche suggests that Rose call her and Rose shouts out very loudly... "Hey, Ingrid!!!"
And Ingrid responds, yelling: "Is that you Rose?"

That episode has me rolling no matter how many times I've seen it!!!

I like the one when Rose and Dorothy are going to enter a song writing contest. And Dorothy says "We could be the next Rogers and Hammerstein, the next Simon and Garfunkel" and then Rose interrupts and says "(I forgot the girl's name) and Lambchop" and then Dorothy goes, "I don't think I can get my hand that far up your dress"..."But for 10,000 dollars I'd be willing to give it a try"

Or later in the same episode when Dorothy realizes Rose added an extra Miami is nice, she scolds Rose. Then Rose says "How about, Miami is nice, so I'll say it thrice" Then Dorothy says "Who says thrice???" Betty says "It's a word" Dorothy says "So is intrauterin..... It does not belong in a song" Then Betty plays on the piano "Miami, you're cuter than, and intrauterin"

I had to ask my mom what that word meant...lol.... I laughed REALLY hard the next time I saw that episode.

There's so many funny lines....Oooooh....one more. When Big Daddy was coming to see Blanche and Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia were sitting in the living room talking, and Blanche comes out of her room in a revealing dress and asks "How do I look?" then Sophia looks at her and says "Like the night hostess at Denny's"

...when Rose puts that ad in the 'personal' section of a 'swingers' newspaper.

I'm paraphrasing here...

Blanche: "Why is there a busload of Japanese sailers in the front yard?"

Dorothy: "Rose put an ad in the personal section of a swingers magazine...I'll do ANYTHING for 7 dollars an hour!" :lol:

Ya REALLY had to be there,

pontoon :cool:

Originally posted by pontoon
...when Rose puts that ad in the 'personal' section of a 'swingers' newspaper.

I'm paraphrasing here...

Blanche: "Why is there a busload of Japanese sailers in the front yard?"

Dorothy: "Rose put an ad in the personal section of a swingers magazine...I'll do ANYTHING for 7 dollars an hour!" :lol:

Ya REALLY had to be there,

pontoon :cool:

Well, actually, it was:

Blanche: Girls! There's a busload of Greek sailors out front.

(laughter from audience)

Blanche: They want to know how many drakma are in eight dollars?!?

And it was the regular paper, but instead of being in the "employment" column it was the "personals" section.

Not to critique, but just fine-tuning....

This episode itself wasn't THAT funny, but this one scene where Blanche is complaining about the guy she's seeing. And she thinks he wants to have a baby right away...oh wait....the scene is in my signature......

Read the third set of lines in my signature....

Another witty exchange between the girls occurred when both Rose and Blanche wanted to be on the fashion committee:

Dorothy: "Okay girls. Which goes better, the silver chain or the pearls?"
Rose: "The chain."
Blanche: "An amateur's mistake. Can't you see that the chain accentuates the many folds of that turkey-like neck?"
Rose: "Well, that may be, but the pearls draw attention to the non-existent bosom."
Blanche: "Yes, but the chain leads the eye even lower, to that huge spare tire jutting out over those square manly hips."
Dorothy: "Why don't I just wear a sign that says too ugly to live?"
Blanche: "Fine. But what are you going to hang it from, the chain or the pearls?"
Dorothy: "Neither! I'm going to spray paint it on my hump!"

The girls always got such pleasure out of making fun of Dorothy's looks...

lol :lol:

...since I've seen that episode!

<< Well, actually, it was:

Blanche: Girls! There's a busload of Greek sailors out front.

(laughter from audience)

Blanche: They want to know how many drakma are in eight dollars?!?

And it was the regular paper, but instead of being in the "employment" column it was the "personals" section.

Not to critique, but just fine-tuning.... >>

I was WAY off, wasn't I?

I'll take notes next time! :lol:

pontoon :cool:

Just remembered one more funny one. When the girls go to Atlanta to see Blanche's grandmother's house before it is bulldozed...and they're driving in the car:


Rose: Dorthy dorthy bo borthy, banana fana for forthy, me my mo morthy...dorthy

(Tire Screeching)

Dorothy: Get Out Rose!

Hm....These are probably my favorite lines from all the girls.

Sophia
We was po'!
Silly rabbi, Trix are for kids!
Thanks for the medicare........

Dorothy
In what Blanche, dog years?
Get out. (Refering to Rose while on the road to Atlanta)
Blanche, there's a man leaving in 10 minutes. Be under him.

Blanche
Little balls of sunshine in a bag!
I wish I was Sophia's daughter. Then I could put her in Shady Pines.
You mean you died and went to a suburb of heaven?

Rose
Everything was fine until his wife started seeing little peices of Joe's plaid shirt in the corn.
THAT'S WHAT THE CROW SAID!!!!!!!!
Fine. I don't care what you say. (Mumbles)Hypersexual Bitch.

Another hilarious episode is when the roof is leaking and in need of repair! Rose has grabbed some towels to help soak up the rain:

Blanche: "Wait! Is that my cabana club beach towel?"
Rose: "Is it the one with the naked man and woman being swept away by the waves?"
Blanche: "Yes. You can't use this towel."
Dorothy: "Blanche, please this is an emergency!"
Blanche: "I'm sorry, but there are far too many happy memories associated with this towel."
Dorothy: "Blanche, I am in no mood to hear about the endless parade of sexual encounters you have experienced up and down the Florida coastline, with nothing but this towel between your hot flesh and the cold, wet sand!"
Blanche: "I brought my baby son Skippy home from the hospital in this towel, Dorothy."
Dorothy: [pauses] "... You're lying, Blanche."
Blanche: "Damn, you're good! But it wasn't up and down the Florida coastline, it was just Fort Lauderdale during Spring Break...."

I don't remember the name of the episode and I tried searching at epguides.com but found it overwhelming.

EDIT: Ok, I found the name of the episode but forgot the number; it's "Dancing in the Dark". :D

It's the episode where they are all out eating dinner on the back porch and I think Miles is there or some other man.

Someone asks what they're having for dinner and one of the girls replies something with cabbage (I think).

Then Sophia replies, "Cabbage she feeds me...In 10 minutes I'll be skywriting!".
The camera pans to a disgusted Dorothy!!

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

Sophia: Where are you going

Sal: To get some air

Sophia: We got air in the house

Sal: I like beer with my air

Just thought of more....I'm sorry but GG has so many funny lines, it's hard to just name a few


I can't remember what episode this is from, but all I remember is:

Rose: I'm going to do it


Dorothy: You Rose??? In St. Olaf they think Freud is a way to cook chicken.


Or this one:

Rose: I forgot to say my prayers

Dorothy: Oh, Rose. God wouldn't mind if you skipped a night. He's very busy these days, most of his free time is spent talking to Pat Roberston.


Or:

When Rose and Blanche are dresses as the flying nuns....


Blanche: Look everybody the storm is letting up, i'm going to run right over to Walter's

Rose: Aren't you going to change??

Blanche: No....

Rose: You know it's still pretty windy outside, i'm going to go out there and see if I can get air borne.

Gosh, there are so many!!! I love the one where they're going to the funeral home for their neighbor that died and they have to buy a casket. The guy Mr. Pfieffer (p is pronounced) says something to which Sophia responds "how would you like a punch in your paface!!!"

Another one is the song writing contest when Big Daddy and his bride to be come, and the girls think she will be an old lady. She is very young and when Dorothy realizes who she is she says "Woe!" Rose comes in and says "Oh Blanche's father is marrying a (so and so). But she's much older. Isn't that right, Dorothy?" And Dorothy says, "Woe."

I know Dana!!! I saw those episodes tonight and laughed my head off!!! :lol:

When Dorothy's friend Trudy comes for a visit:

(Dorothy and trudy arm wrestling, and Trudy wins)

Trudy: How does it feel to have your butt whipped???

Blanche: Well, sometimes I find it strangely titilating

(All look at Blanche)

Blanche: Oh, you were talking to her...

OR:

(Same episode)

Trudy: Boy Dorothy, you just picked up the pieces after Stan ran off with that stewardest. Boy I envy you, your gumtion

Dorothy: Yes, and I your breast implants

Sophia: purple rain..... (strumming fingers as if she were playing electric guitar) .... purple rain........

(Episode #14 -- That Was No Lady)