MrCleveland
06-28-2017, 06:46 PM
I know it's been two years, but since I didn't have a computer...I couldn't write it.
But here it is...Sitcom Family Feud! (Please Note...this one came from a real Family Feud ep).
Announcer: Welcome Back to another Sitcom Family Feud! And here's your host...the ghost of Richard Dawson!
Richard Dawson:Well...welcome back to Sitcom Family Feud, I'm Richard Dawson who's in Purgatory until I can have all the families in sitcoms be seen on this show. And let us welcome back...The Warners!
The Warners Enter
Richard: So, Tony...how's it going?
Tony: I left that Dumb-ass band that I was in...that was a freakin' waste of my life!
Richard: Well...looks like you're handling that well...
Tony: Ha ha ha ha ha...very funny!
Richard: Next is Helen, how is it going?
Helen: Well...I decided to teach during the summer...we so could use the extra money.
Richard: Well, if your son can choose the correct answers you could. And speaking of which, we have Paul!
Paul: I'm still a loser, everyone walks all over me!
Richard: So...nothing about your life that's interesting. Next we have Dustin.
Dustin: Well my girlfriend has put a restraining order on me.
Richard: Sounds like an interesting story.
Dustin: No, not on television...unless this is Jerry Springer.
Richard: So we now finally meet-up with Margaret. How is it going?
Margaret: Well, things are slowing down. My niece Harmony twisted her ankle and now the cast has been removed.
Richard: Well, I'm glad she is doing better. Now from the TV Show Family Matters, here's The Winslow Family!
Carl, Harriette, Eddie, Laura, and Steve Urkel enter.
Richard: So this is the Winslow Family. I thought there were more of you.
Carl: Well, my mother died 15 years ago...
Richard: Sorry to hear that.
Carl: Well, now she's with my father. But for me, I got promoted to Chief a few years ago. So you can call me "Chief Carl Winslow"!
Richard: Well Chief Winslow, let's meet-up with your wife, Harriette.
Richard hugs Harriette.
Richard: Where's your sister?
Harriette: Rachel is in Detroit and she married Roger Ford who has ownership of the Ford Motor Company...and I work as a secretary at the Chicago Ford Dealership.
Richard: Well...looks like things are going well for the both of you. And here we have Edward James Arthur Winslow...
Eddie: You Know It..And Ladies...I'm Available!
Richard: And you may be just like Paul.
Paul (Off Camera): Very Funny!
Richard: Don't mind him...so you now live in New York?
Eddie: Yep...I work for the New York City Police Department...I even got an honor during the 9/11 attacks. I'll never forget that.
Richard: And neither we'll we. Next, we have Laura Urkel.
Richard Hugs Laura
Laura: Well, it isn't easy handling a fumbling husband, a daughter going to Harvard, and four other children. But I do love them all.
Richard: And finally...Steve Urkel.
Steve (Tries to high-five Richard): And Howdy-ho!
Steve knocks-over his microphone
Steve: Did I Do That?
Richard: Looks like you did! I hear you have your own internet company.
Steve: Yep...It's called urkman.com! We have a lot of Urk things!
Richard: I may look at that site one day...when the Cleveland Indians win the World Series! No...when The Cleveland Browns are in the Super Bowl! So...let's play the feud!
Carl and Tony walk-up to the podium where Richard is at.
Richard: Okay, we surveyed 100 people on the board and we have 7 answers on the board. Name Something A Burglar Would Not Wanna See When He Gets Into A House!
Tony Buzzes In
Richard: Tony!
Tony: NAKED GRANDMA!
Richard: What?!
Carl: I don't wanna see that either.
Richard: I know you're right, I know you're bloody well right. Who would want to see a grandmother naked? Unless It's naked grandpa and no one wants to see that either, so...is it up there?
33 People said "Gun/Occupant"
Tony: WOO-HOO! GRANDMA-HA-HAA!!!
Richard: Good Lord, that's the occupant! Okay...your turn, Carl...
Carl: I had one of these when I was young, and...a dog.
Richard: Let's see if Dog is up there...
46 people say "Big Dog"
Richard: So...are you gonna pass or play?
Carl: We Will Play!
Tony: And I just passed! Ooh...Chicago Dogs and Chicago Pizza! Both have onions and peppers!
Richard walks away from Tony and to the Winslow podium
Richard: Okay, Harriette...name something a burglar doesn't want to see when he breaks into a house.
Harriette: This happened to us once...seeing the house empty!
Richard: So...do they wanna see an empty house?
6 people said "Nothing in the House"
Richard: Okay, Fast Eddie...
Eddie: Some people call me that as well...
Richard: Okay good for you. Now, name something a burglar doesn't want to see when he breaks into a house.
Eddie: Well...I'm a police office, so...me. The police officer.
Richard: Okay...give me police officer!
9 people said "Policeman"
Richard: Next up, Laura...name something a burglar doesn't want to see when he breaks into a house.
Laura: We have this and it's a working security system.
Richard: Good answer...show me a security system!
2 people said security system
Richard: Okay Steve...Steve...STEVE!
Steve: Shh...not while I'm thinking!
Richard: Well, you're up Steve! Name something a burglar doesn't want to see when he breaks into a house.
Steve: An Urkbot!
Laura: Don't ask!
Richard: Does a burglar want to see an Urk Bot?
BUZZ
Richard: Looks like they do. So, let's see if the Warners can steal this!
The Warners debate whether the answer is a light turning on or a video camera
Paul: Would You Listen To Me For Once? The Answer Is A Video Camera!
Tony: Okay...we got this...Richard...we will go with a light turning on!
Richard: So would a burglar not want to see a light turn on?
2 people say "lights on"
Richard: So...what was the 5th answer?
2 people say "video camera"
Crowd: Video Camera!
Richard: Well...looks like you have to go home, Winslows.
Carl: Well, we would've gotten to win it all but Steve mentioned something that's only available in Chicago.
Richard: Well, looks like you're going home...
The Winslows leave, but Steve stays
Steve: Well, I can give you an Urk-Bot.
Richard: No Thanks! Go Home, Steve!
Steve: But Richard...
Richard: Go Home!
Steve: I Can Give You...
Richard: GO HOME! HO HOME! GO HOME!!!
Steve: Screw You Guys...I'm Going Home!
Richard: I dunno how he learned that...okay Warners, who's gonna play the Fast-Money Round?
All But Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is! Paul Is!
Paul walks down
Paul: I'm Gonna Lose This, I Never Win!
Richard: Well...you may if you get these answers right. Give us 15 seconds please.
:15 is seen
Richard: Name a part of the body that's bigger than it was when you were 18.
Paul: The Johnson!
BUZZ
Tony starts laughing
Richard: What's so funny?
Tony: Paul is such a fruit!
Richard: Okay...let's continue...Name Something that starts with Para.
Paul: Paranormal
BUZZ
Richard: Name a type of knife.
Paul: Oyster knife.
BUZZ
Richard: Name something you see on a football field.
Paul: Cheerleaders.
BUZZ
Richard: Name something that gets judged in fairs.
Paul: Watermelons.
BUZZ
Richard: Again...you stumped our 100 people! So no money, but you get to play tomorrow on Sitcom Family Feud!
But here it is...Sitcom Family Feud! (Please Note...this one came from a real Family Feud ep).
Announcer: Welcome Back to another Sitcom Family Feud! And here's your host...the ghost of Richard Dawson!
Richard Dawson:Well...welcome back to Sitcom Family Feud, I'm Richard Dawson who's in Purgatory until I can have all the families in sitcoms be seen on this show. And let us welcome back...The Warners!
The Warners Enter
Richard: So, Tony...how's it going?
Tony: I left that Dumb-ass band that I was in...that was a freakin' waste of my life!
Richard: Well...looks like you're handling that well...
Tony: Ha ha ha ha ha...very funny!
Richard: Next is Helen, how is it going?
Helen: Well...I decided to teach during the summer...we so could use the extra money.
Richard: Well, if your son can choose the correct answers you could. And speaking of which, we have Paul!
Paul: I'm still a loser, everyone walks all over me!
Richard: So...nothing about your life that's interesting. Next we have Dustin.
Dustin: Well my girlfriend has put a restraining order on me.
Richard: Sounds like an interesting story.
Dustin: No, not on television...unless this is Jerry Springer.
Richard: So we now finally meet-up with Margaret. How is it going?
Margaret: Well, things are slowing down. My niece Harmony twisted her ankle and now the cast has been removed.
Richard: Well, I'm glad she is doing better. Now from the TV Show Family Matters, here's The Winslow Family!
Carl, Harriette, Eddie, Laura, and Steve Urkel enter.
Richard: So this is the Winslow Family. I thought there were more of you.
Carl: Well, my mother died 15 years ago...
Richard: Sorry to hear that.
Carl: Well, now she's with my father. But for me, I got promoted to Chief a few years ago. So you can call me "Chief Carl Winslow"!
Richard: Well Chief Winslow, let's meet-up with your wife, Harriette.
Richard hugs Harriette.
Richard: Where's your sister?
Harriette: Rachel is in Detroit and she married Roger Ford who has ownership of the Ford Motor Company...and I work as a secretary at the Chicago Ford Dealership.
Richard: Well...looks like things are going well for the both of you. And here we have Edward James Arthur Winslow...
Eddie: You Know It..And Ladies...I'm Available!
Richard: And you may be just like Paul.
Paul (Off Camera): Very Funny!
Richard: Don't mind him...so you now live in New York?
Eddie: Yep...I work for the New York City Police Department...I even got an honor during the 9/11 attacks. I'll never forget that.
Richard: And neither we'll we. Next, we have Laura Urkel.
Richard Hugs Laura
Laura: Well, it isn't easy handling a fumbling husband, a daughter going to Harvard, and four other children. But I do love them all.
Richard: And finally...Steve Urkel.
Steve (Tries to high-five Richard): And Howdy-ho!
Steve knocks-over his microphone
Steve: Did I Do That?
Richard: Looks like you did! I hear you have your own internet company.
Steve: Yep...It's called urkman.com! We have a lot of Urk things!
Richard: I may look at that site one day...when the Cleveland Indians win the World Series! No...when The Cleveland Browns are in the Super Bowl! So...let's play the feud!
Carl and Tony walk-up to the podium where Richard is at.
Richard: Okay, we surveyed 100 people on the board and we have 7 answers on the board. Name Something A Burglar Would Not Wanna See When He Gets Into A House!
Tony Buzzes In
Richard: Tony!
Tony: NAKED GRANDMA!
Richard: What?!
Carl: I don't wanna see that either.
Richard: I know you're right, I know you're bloody well right. Who would want to see a grandmother naked? Unless It's naked grandpa and no one wants to see that either, so...is it up there?
33 People said "Gun/Occupant"
Tony: WOO-HOO! GRANDMA-HA-HAA!!!
Richard: Good Lord, that's the occupant! Okay...your turn, Carl...
Carl: I had one of these when I was young, and...a dog.
Richard: Let's see if Dog is up there...
46 people say "Big Dog"
Richard: So...are you gonna pass or play?
Carl: We Will Play!
Tony: And I just passed! Ooh...Chicago Dogs and Chicago Pizza! Both have onions and peppers!
Richard walks away from Tony and to the Winslow podium
Richard: Okay, Harriette...name something a burglar doesn't want to see when he breaks into a house.
Harriette: This happened to us once...seeing the house empty!
Richard: So...do they wanna see an empty house?
6 people said "Nothing in the House"
Richard: Okay, Fast Eddie...
Eddie: Some people call me that as well...
Richard: Okay good for you. Now, name something a burglar doesn't want to see when he breaks into a house.
Eddie: Well...I'm a police office, so...me. The police officer.
Richard: Okay...give me police officer!
9 people said "Policeman"
Richard: Next up, Laura...name something a burglar doesn't want to see when he breaks into a house.
Laura: We have this and it's a working security system.
Richard: Good answer...show me a security system!
2 people said security system
Richard: Okay Steve...Steve...STEVE!
Steve: Shh...not while I'm thinking!
Richard: Well, you're up Steve! Name something a burglar doesn't want to see when he breaks into a house.
Steve: An Urkbot!
Laura: Don't ask!
Richard: Does a burglar want to see an Urk Bot?
BUZZ
Richard: Looks like they do. So, let's see if the Warners can steal this!
The Warners debate whether the answer is a light turning on or a video camera
Paul: Would You Listen To Me For Once? The Answer Is A Video Camera!
Tony: Okay...we got this...Richard...we will go with a light turning on!
Richard: So would a burglar not want to see a light turn on?
2 people say "lights on"
Richard: So...what was the 5th answer?
2 people say "video camera"
Crowd: Video Camera!
Richard: Well...looks like you have to go home, Winslows.
Carl: Well, we would've gotten to win it all but Steve mentioned something that's only available in Chicago.
Richard: Well, looks like you're going home...
The Winslows leave, but Steve stays
Steve: Well, I can give you an Urk-Bot.
Richard: No Thanks! Go Home, Steve!
Steve: But Richard...
Richard: Go Home!
Steve: I Can Give You...
Richard: GO HOME! HO HOME! GO HOME!!!
Steve: Screw You Guys...I'm Going Home!
Richard: I dunno how he learned that...okay Warners, who's gonna play the Fast-Money Round?
All But Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is! Paul Is!
Paul walks down
Paul: I'm Gonna Lose This, I Never Win!
Richard: Well...you may if you get these answers right. Give us 15 seconds please.
:15 is seen
Richard: Name a part of the body that's bigger than it was when you were 18.
Paul: The Johnson!
BUZZ
Tony starts laughing
Richard: What's so funny?
Tony: Paul is such a fruit!
Richard: Okay...let's continue...Name Something that starts with Para.
Paul: Paranormal
BUZZ
Richard: Name a type of knife.
Paul: Oyster knife.
BUZZ
Richard: Name something you see on a football field.
Paul: Cheerleaders.
BUZZ
Richard: Name something that gets judged in fairs.
Paul: Watermelons.
BUZZ
Richard: Again...you stumped our 100 people! So no money, but you get to play tomorrow on Sitcom Family Feud!