She seemed to be on her own with many things. To put things into proper perspective, her mother passed away when she was a young child. The Deacon strikes me to be the type of husband who didn't cook, clean, etc because he felt it was 'the wife's job'. So he didn't teach poor Thelma anything. And he as a result, enabled her needy behavior; he always acted like she couldn't do anything without his help. I am actually surprised the Hetebrink sisters didn't really take a motherly role towards her, since they were older.