While the Cleavers occasionally refer to the TV shows of the times, they are hardly ever seen watching TV, and these references seem always to be just a brief mention and usually for a joke. So my idea here is to think up a few vignettes about what they would think about TV. How about when The Beverly Hillbillies hit the airwaves (September 26, 1962)?
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As Ward walked into his den at 7:52 p.m., about to look at the household bills and write 2 or 3 checks, Beaver was in there changing the channel on the television; first away from Dobie Gillis on CBS, then back to it.

Ward: Beaver, you know the rules. Have you finished your homework? If not, turn that thing off and get upstairs and do it.

Beaver: Yeah, sure, Dad.

Ward: Sure what? That you know the rules, or that you've finished your homework?

Beaver: Both. I started on my homework before 7 just to be sure I don't miss this new show at 8 the guys are talking about.

Ward: What is this show Beaver?

Beaver: It's called the Beverly Hillbillies.

Ward: Beverly Hillbillies? What would that mean?

Beaver: I don't know exactly. But Richard says it has that guy in it who played Davy Crockett's sidekick as a millionaire in Beverly Hills.

Ward: 'Davy Crockett's sidekick?' Oh, you mean Buddy Ebsen, I suppose. Beaver, he used to be known as a big theatrical dancer, and then he started playing those western or 'buckskin' type of roles, as in Northwest Passage. So now he's playing a Beverly Hills millionaire?

Beaver: Sure, Dad. But Richard also said he's going to be a hillbilly.

Ward: Oh now, Beaver, how could he be in the role of both a hillbilly and a big millionaire in a place as upscale as Beverly Hills?

Beaver: I don't know; that's how come I want to watch it.

Ward goes to work on his household books, while Beaver watched the ending of Dobie Gillis. After a commercial break, finally a shot of a palm-lined street appeared with an approaching old junker, which looked similar to the old car Jack Benny drove on his own show, with 4 people in it dresed like tramps or hardscrabble farmers. A voice said, "This is Beverly Hills... and here come the Beverly Hillbillies!" Ward looked up from balancing his check register as the car in the shot turned a corner, showing its broadside.

Ward: Hey-- that's one of those old cars with a bench and wood platform put in the back, like they used in the depression.

Beaver: What's the depression Dad?

Ward: Oh-- never mind that, now, Beaver. I've told you before, but apparently you weren't listening.

The car in the shot now faced the TV camera, and "The Beverly Hillbillies" appeared in big letters, followed by "Starring BUDDY EBSEN," then "With Irene Ryan," then "Donna Douglas," then "Max Baer", and finally "Created and Produced by Paul Henning." Then there was a sponsor's announcement.

Ward: Max Baer? the heavyweight champion boxer?-- he died a couple of years ago. Wait-- I think he had a son by that same name. That was Buddy Ebsen, alright, and I've seen Irene Ryan before. But Baer and that Donna Douglas I don't know. But the real point is, I still don't see any concept of a show here-- is Buddy a hillbilly or is he a millionaire?

Beaver: Maybe he's both, Dad.

Ward just took this in silence and resumed his checkbook subtraction. When the show resumed, the car was still rolling along, and the titles showed "Written by Paul Henning," along with a few others, and Buddy Ebsen's familiar voice said, "Well, come on, let's find that house we bought." Then the narrator repeated "House they bought?-- in Beverly Hills?" and the car continued rolling through the gate of a big mansion that Ward thought he had seen a picture of before. Then she progress stopped and the announcer said "How could a bunch of hillbillies possibly buy a mansion like this?" And then the shot 'backed up' as he said, "Let's take them back to their home and see how this whole thing started." And the shot went cold to a ramshackle cabin in the woods. June happened to walk into the den at the same time.

Ward: Oh-- I think I see now! The hillbillies suddenly ran into a lot of money. But-- enough to be buy a Beverly Hills mansion?

June: Hillbillies buy a Beverly Hills mansion? What kind of an idea--

Beaver: We're about to find out, Mom.

The TV sound of banjo picking and the sight of a shabbily-dressed man, with a gun, walking a hound dog in front of the old shack, led June to grimace.

June: Dear, what are you watching here?-- one of those Edward R. Murrow shows about the plight of poor farmers?

Ward: Wait a minute, please, dear.

Ward and Beaver continued to watch as the man went inside and an old woman, calling him "Jed," told him be better do something about "that young'un of you'r'n." The woman said the 'young'n' in question had fought a bobcat, which went limping off on 3 legs, and Jed didn't know 'what to do about that girl.' The old woman,working with some clothes, then said that girl needs to start wearing a dress, and that she had popped the buttons on her shirt, to which Jed replied she walks with her shoulders out proud. The old woman said, "It ain't her shoulders that's poppin' these buttons."

June: WHAT? Oh, Ward-- how can you think of letting Beaver watch a show with a suggestion like that?

Beaver: Gee, Mom, that's nothing; just a joke-- but it did make me think of Wally's girl, Julie Foster.

As the old woman continued, saying "She's a fully growed up, rounded out female woman..." June went over to the television and turned it off.

Beaver: Aw, Mom!

June: Ward, I've never seen such a show!-- those people dress like vagrants, they speak slang, and they talk about some growing girl's, uh-- you know--


[I'm too tired to go on right now.]

Ah man!!

Beaver: Hey Wally, come over here and watch this. They have someone named Miley Cyrus doin' something called twerking.

Wally: Hey Beav, you'd better not let Mom or Dad catch you watching that or you'll be grounded for a month.

Beaver: Yeah Wally, but I think it's worth it.

Wally: Damn right!

Ward: Wow! Catch that looker, Miss Jane...she's got gumption!

June: Well land sakes, granny!

Beav: Jethro's in the sixth grade, just like me.

Wally: I wanna go swimming with Elly May, in the cement pond.

Hilarious!! One of the funniest real lines is in Tire Trouble.
Beaver: When I grow up I'm not gonna yell at my kids."
Wally: Sure you will. The only fathers who don't yell at their kids are on television.

[Finally, I will try to continue.]

As the old woman continued, saying "She's a fully growed up, rounded out female woman..." June went over to the television and turned it off.

Beaver: Aw, Mom!

June: Ward, I've never seen such a show!-- those people dress like vagrants, they speak slang, and they talk about some growing girl's, uh-- you know--

Ward: Yes, dear, I know-- I found out about that a long time ago. And I rather think Beaver already knows. But dear, I'll have to admit I was getting interested, seeing that old car with an added wooden bench and platform, as people escaping the Dust Bowl used to pack up and head for the west coast. So, if you please, let us watch the rest of this. I promise, if the next scene is their taking off their clothes at the 'old swimming hole,' then we will turn it back off.

June at first gave Ward "the look," then she turned the television back on and jerked her hand away. There appeared on the screen a nice looking young woman in jeans and shirt with light hair in pigtails carrying a man into the cabin on her shoulders, saying she beaned him with a rock to his head.

June: Well, not the swimming hole, but I don't think the premise has improved.

Beaver: Wow! I think I see why the old lady said what she said about--

June: Beaver!

Ward: Alright, Beaver, that's enough of that. If you want to see this show, get your mind on other elements-- like, [And the girl, Elly May, asks if she can keep the man] like why that man is there.

The old woman, finally addressed as "Granny," says she had already encountered the man looking around the slough that was on their property, and he said he is from the "pee-troleum" comapny. Jed asks, "What's a pee-troleum?"

June: Now Ward--

Ward: What is it now, dear?

June: What they just said. Are they about to talk about certain-- comforts-- that have changed for the better?

Ward: Dear, their pronunciation of a certain word does not have to mean--

Beaver: Hey, I can't hear if you're gonna keep talking about everything they say!

June finally sat down. The show continued with Granny saying she would go stomp out the fire under the still; and reminded by Jed, that she would get her shoes damaged, she took them off and went out to do the task in bare feet. Meanwhile, the man had come to and made his proposition that his company wanted to pump out the oil in Jed's swamp. Jed said he cannot pay for it, and when told he would not have to, then said "I don't take favors from strangers." Granny came back with smoking feet she then immersed in a pan of water. Then there was a commercial break.

Ward: So- he becomes an oil millionaire.

Beaver: Yeah, that's what I was already thinking, Dad, since they said the man's from a pee-troleum company. Eh-eh-eh...

June: [quietly] Oh dear-- to think of Aunt Martha turning on this show... or us letting B--Theodore-- watch it.

Beaver: What, Mom?

June: Never mind, Beaver. [A moment of quietness as the commercials rolled] Oh, I think I'll go have a cup of coffee over a magazine in the living room

As the show resumes, the same car (called a truck by the hillbillies) is seen coming down a dirt path out of control, and a woman yells "Jethro-- stop this thing!" Then Jed comes into the cabin urging Granny to "grab somethin' and hang on!" because Cousin Pearl and that overgrown young'un of hers were barreling down their way.

June: Pearl? [bringing her hand up and gently twisting her own pearls] There's someone named Pearl in this show?

Beaver: I guess so, Mom.

June sat back down to see who "Pearl" was, as Bea Benederet appeared.

June: Oh, I know her! She played Blanche in the Burns and Allen Show.

Ward and Beaver both looked off, as Pearl said she is sorry for the chicken house, which was knocked down by 'the truck' and her son, Jethro, driving. Big Jethro then appeared and was scolded for not having gotten rid fo those worn out brakes. He replied, "I did, Ma. That's how come we ain't got none." Ward and Beaver laughed out loud. June grinned.

Then Pearl asked if it were true, as Elly May had told her, that 'cousin' Jed had sold his swamp. Jed said he had. "How much are they payin' ya fer it?" asked Pearl. Jed just said "You know that swamp ain't worth shucks." Pearl accuses Jed of being slickered and asks Granny. Jed then says, "Alright, I'll tell ya-- that Mr. Brewster said somewhere between twenty-five and a hun'erd." Pearl is convinced Jed get swindled as he said the price did not sound like much, but Mr. Brewster "seemed to put big store in the fact that he's gonna pay me in some new kind of dollars." Pearl declares, "Thee ain't no new kind o' dollars." Jed can't think of the word, so he asks Granny what Mr. Brewster called the new kind of dollars. "Mill-ion dollars" says Granny. "Million dollars?" Pearl repeated, looking at the paper Jed gave her. "Granny-get me the jug!" requested Pearl, with her eyes widening and her face flushing.

[Got to cut out again.]

Very cool and creative!:)