Frank Gannucci
10-07-2016, 09:06 PM
A Honeymooners Columbus Day:
(The Kramdens and Nortons are next to the East River.)
Ralph: “To celebrate Columbus Day, me and Norton are going to sail towards the Statue of Liberty.”
Ed: “I am going to feel right at home on the water. Seeing all that dirty water.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Ralph: “Norton, you are going through a trying time.”
Alice: “Ralph, I don’t think that that is a good idea.”
Ralph: “Alice, you are wrong like usual. Me and Ed are going to make Christopher Columbus proud. We are men. They have done it all. There wouldn’t be the USA if it wasn’t for Chris Columbus.”
Trixie: “There would be no Chris Columbus if it wasn’t for his mother, right Alice?”
Alice: “Yes.”
(Crowd cheers.)
Ralph: “Har-har-har-hardee-har-har!”
Ed: “Wait a minute Ralph. Alice and Trix may be right. The boat may sink.”
Ralph: “So, you think that I am too fat and too heavy to go in that boat. Why don’t you say so?”
Ed: “I don’t have to. You just did.”
Ralph: “Alice, you may not be alone on the moon.”
(They leave and set sail for the Statue of Liberty. Alice & Trixie watch. Within a few minutes of only Ed rowing, they sink due to Ralph’s weight.)
Ralph (yells): “YOU IDIOT NORTON! YOU HAD THIS BAD IDEA AND IT IS YOUR FAULT THAT YOU TALKED ME INTO IT.”
(Ralph & goes to hit Ed with the oar. People come by to make peace.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Thank you. It’s too bad that Chris didn’t land in Miami Beach because he would have realized that this is the SUN and FUN CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. GOOD NIGHT.”
(Crowd cheers.)
(The Kramdens and Nortons are next to the East River.)
Ralph: “To celebrate Columbus Day, me and Norton are going to sail towards the Statue of Liberty.”
Ed: “I am going to feel right at home on the water. Seeing all that dirty water.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Ralph: “Norton, you are going through a trying time.”
Alice: “Ralph, I don’t think that that is a good idea.”
Ralph: “Alice, you are wrong like usual. Me and Ed are going to make Christopher Columbus proud. We are men. They have done it all. There wouldn’t be the USA if it wasn’t for Chris Columbus.”
Trixie: “There would be no Chris Columbus if it wasn’t for his mother, right Alice?”
Alice: “Yes.”
(Crowd cheers.)
Ralph: “Har-har-har-hardee-har-har!”
Ed: “Wait a minute Ralph. Alice and Trix may be right. The boat may sink.”
Ralph: “So, you think that I am too fat and too heavy to go in that boat. Why don’t you say so?”
Ed: “I don’t have to. You just did.”
Ralph: “Alice, you may not be alone on the moon.”
(They leave and set sail for the Statue of Liberty. Alice & Trixie watch. Within a few minutes of only Ed rowing, they sink due to Ralph’s weight.)
Ralph (yells): “YOU IDIOT NORTON! YOU HAD THIS BAD IDEA AND IT IS YOUR FAULT THAT YOU TALKED ME INTO IT.”
(Ralph & goes to hit Ed with the oar. People come by to make peace.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Thank you. It’s too bad that Chris didn’t land in Miami Beach because he would have realized that this is the SUN and FUN CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. GOOD NIGHT.”
(Crowd cheers.)