View Full Version : Martha Stewart vs. Real Woman


Chocoholic
04-24-2002, 11:00 PM
Martha's Way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the
cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch, with your
feet up, eating it anyway.

Martha's Way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in
the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's Way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking
pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Real Women's Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for
you.

Martha's Way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's
still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess
salt for an instant "fix me up."
Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking,
that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.

Martha's Way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the
refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Real Women's Way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.

Martha's Way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before
baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women's Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not
include brushing egg whites over the crust...

Martha's Way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half
and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women's Way: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and
drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Martha's Way #9: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using
latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women's Way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

Martha's Way #10: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze
into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women's Way: Leftover wine??????


There's a longer version, but I don't know where it is right now.

Czas na Zywiec
04-25-2002, 12:24 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol: What leftover wine? :rotflmao:

Those are some good ones!

Kay Scarpetta
04-25-2002, 06:32 PM
All NMK fans...this was on my publication poster for S&S starring NMK and Jean Smart... :p

Martha's way [Jean]-When life gives you lemons, use the juice and save the rinds for a potpourri wreath.

Real Womans way [Nancy]-When life gives you lemons...make lemonade.

:D

Pitooey
04-25-2002, 06:52 PM
I vote for Real woman! :lol: :lol: :lol: :happyface :lol: :lol: :lol:

XoVanillaRain90oX
04-25-2002, 06:55 PM
:rolleyes:

I hate these posts. Maybe someone likes Martha Stewart for a change! (ME!)

ISmellFine
04-25-2002, 07:17 PM
LOL Those are funnie...I don't like Martha Stewart. I saw an E! thang on her and well...I hate to say this all y'all are gonna think I'm mean, but she was a b-itch! She was poooop. Okay...anyway. I like those.

Kay Scarpetta
04-25-2002, 07:18 PM
Originally posted by Maura Tierney
LOL Those are funnie...I don't like Martha Stewart. I saw an E! thang on her and well...I hate to say this all y'all are gonna think I'm mean, but she was a b-itch! She was poooop. Okay...anyway. I like those.

I do not like her either. Grrr.

AllIWantIsYourClutch
04-25-2002, 07:24 PM
Can't she just make a mistake like a normal person??!?!?! JUST ONE MISTAKE IS ALL I'M ASKING!!!!!!!!!!!!

dawsongirl
04-25-2002, 07:25 PM
It's good to be a real woman! :cheers:

And Martha is a bit evil. JMO. :eek3:

Pitooey
04-25-2002, 09:41 PM
I like Martha don't get me wrong. I even tried some of the things she did but, I'm not perfect and I realize that now. So I have to be happy being a real woman. Although I do like some of her ideas.......

Kay Scarpetta
04-25-2002, 09:50 PM
I hate her sheets. They gave me a rash one time! Jesus.

JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo
04-25-2002, 10:56 PM
i don't really know her personally...so i don't know if i like her or not

cablejockey
04-26-2002, 09:48 AM
Sometimes I will watch Martha if a holiday is coming up, otherwise not. I am surprised by how much venom she generates, especially among women. If she was a ruthless, build an empire from nothing, guy, she would be applauded as Business Man of the Year! Since she is a ruthless woman building a business and being successful, she is touted as a bitch. Whatever--- she may promote the "Perfect" lifestyle, but she didn't force anyone to follow it. Anyone catch her on Conan O'Brian last night? It was pretty funny.