FolFanatic151
04-20-2002, 11:38 PM
Ok, here's my new fan fic. And I know that there's already a FOL episode with this title. I titled this fic earlier, and I had forgotten about it. Oh well. Enjoy!
“I never knew looking for an apartment could be so tiring,” Jo said as she and her husband, Rick Bonner, walked into the kitchen from outside.
“No kidding. And we’re going to have to do it all over again tomorrow because we didn’t find one today,” Rick said.
“You want some ice cream?” Jo said, opening up the freezer.
“Sure, thanks, honey,” Rick said, looking for some bowls. “So where’s everybody else?”
“Uh, Blair’s at the center. Andy’s at a friend’s house. Tootie’s visiting Nat in SoHo. And Beverly Ann and Pippa are at the mall, I think,” Jo replied and began dishing out the ice cream. Just then, the doorbell rang. “I’ll be right back. You finish dishing it out,” Jo said to Rick and left to answer the front door.
When she opened the door, Jo found a strange, middle-age-looking man with a bushy beard standing in front of her.
“Jo!!!” the man cried and hugged her.
“What the…” Jo said. She broke away from the hug.
“Who are you?” Jo asked.
“Don’t you recognize me?” the man said. Jo just stared at him. “Jo, it’s me!” he said.
“Eddie??” Jo said incredulously.
“I knew you wouldn’t forget me!” Eddie exclaimed to a rather freaked out Jo.
“Eddie, what’re you doing here? I wasn’t exactly expecting you…” Jo said.
“Oh, I know, Jo. I’ll explain everything later. I can’t believe you still live here,” Eddie said and went to hug Jo again, but she backed away.
Rick had finished in the kitchen and came into the living room, carrying two bowls of ice cream, to see what was taking so long.
“Here, it was melting,” Rick said, handing one bowl to Jo.
“Who the heck is this?” Eddie asked.
“I was wondering the same thing,” Rick said.
“Uhh…weeeelll…ummm…Alright, uh, Rick, this is my old, you know, ex-boyfriend, Eddie Brennan,” Jo said. Rick raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said. “Uh, nice to meet you,” he said.
“Eddie, this is my husband, Rick Bonner,” Jo said. Rick stuck out his hand to shake, but Eddie just looked at him in disgust.
“Your what?” Eddie said as Rick put his hand down.
“My husband,” Jo said. “We’ve been married a month and a half.” Eddie’s face fell.
“Oh…” he said.
“Well, uh, why don’t we all sit down and get to know each other,” Jo said. She and Rick sat down on the couch and Eddie took the chair.
“Uhhh, so Eddie, what do you do for a living?” Rick asked.
“I’m in with the Gas Company, now,” Eddie said. Rick nodded interestedly.
“Whatever happened to the computer skills you were learning in the Navy?” Jo asked.
“Oh, I, uh, didn’t find much use for them in this business,” Eddie said.
“Oh,” Jo said. “Oh, Eddie, can I, uh, get you anything to eat or drink? Some coffee or something?” she asked.
“Sure, Jo. That’d be great,” Eddie said. Jo started to get up, but Rick stopped her.
“That’s ok, Jo. I’ll get it so you two can visit,” Rick said.
“Thanks, honey,” Jo smiled at him.
“Jo, I can’t believe you live in the same house still. Jeez…I think the last time I was here was six years ago. You’d think you would’ve moved out by now,” Eddie said.
“No. It’s been great here. But I’m gonna move out as soon as Rick and I find a place together,” Jo said.
“So, what does Rick do?” Eddie asked.
“He’s a concert pianist. In fact, he returned last month from a European tour with the American Philharmonic Orchestra,” Jo said.
“A pianist? You mean that you married a guy who plays the piano instead of me?” Eddie said.
“What’re you talking about, Eddie?” Jo said.
“Oh, Jo. I’ve never been able to get you off my mind. You’re the only girl I truly loved. I’m sorry about the mistakes I made, but that’s in the past. Just dump that loser in the kitchen and take me back!” Eddie said.
“Eddie, I’m a happily married woman! We went out when I was sixteen! It’s over! There comes a time when you just have to move on in life!” Jo yelled.
“But, Jo…” Eddie started but stopped as Rick came into the room.
“Hey,” Rick said handing out the coffee, “so what’d I miss?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing,” Jo said.
“So Rick – it is Rick right? I hear you just got back from a concert tour. How was it?” Eddie asked propping his feet up on the table.
“Get your feet off the table,” Jo said.
“Oh, it was fun, but I had to leave the day after the wedding which wasn’t great,” Rick said.
“You left your poor, little wife all alone right after your wedding day? Did you even go on a honeymoon? Sheesh! I would’ve never done that to you Jo,” Eddie said. Jo gave him a dirty look.
“Anyone who knows Jo, knows that she is anything but a ‘poor little wife.’ She’s a big girl who can take care of herself just fine,” Rick said hotly. “And yes, we did go on our honeymoon to Hawaii when I got back,” Rick added, annoyed. Calming down a bit, he said, “But, yeah, I did miss my Jo,” and put his arm around her.
“Your Jo? I don’t think so. She’s my Jo!” Eddie said standing up.
Staying cool, Rick said, “Ah, no, sir. I do believe that I am the one wearing the wedding ring. I am the one looking for an apartment with her. It also seems that I am sitting here with my arm around her…not you.”
Eddie got so mad that he reached over and grabbed Jo’s arm, pulling her up next to him and putting her in a wrestling hold. “No, Jo is, was, and always will be mine!” he said.
“Look guys,” Jo said, sort of struggling with Eddie, “I’m not property or anything! I don’t belong to anybody!”
Rick jumped up so fast that he knocked both bowls of ice cream onto the floor. “Get your filthy, stinkin’ paws off her. Now,” he commanded quietly.
“Make me,” Eddie taunted. “Or are you too scared to get those pretty piano hands of yours into a fight?” he said, loosening his grip on Jo a little.
“I really don’t want to stoop to your level, but believe me, buddy, I could take you down in a second. You want me to show you?” Rick said, putting his hands up and moving into a position to punch Eddie.
Jo looked at Rick and slightly shook her head. Then she nodded towards Eddie and mouthed, “Keep him talking.”
Rick picked up on what Jo was thinking, that when Eddie was talking he wasn’t paying as much attention to restraining Jo, so Rick kept him talking.
Meanwhile, Jo slowly released one arm from his grip and elbowed him in the stomach – hard. With Eddie doubled over, Rick took the opportunity and flipped him over onto the ground where he pinned him down with his foot. Jo leaned over Eddie and said, “Maybe someday you’ll figure out that I don’t need a baby-sitter or a bodyguard from my marriage – I just need a friend.”
Overwhelmed by the whole experience, she turned to Rick and buried her head in his chest and cried. As Rick was soothing Jo, Eddie began to get up. Rick just stuck his foot out and pushed him back to the ground. Just then, a knock sounded on the front door.
“Come in,” Jo sniffled. A woman around Jo’s age walked in.
“Sorry to interrupt, but my husband came in here awhile ago. Our car broke down, and he was going to ask to use your phone to call a tow truck or see if you had jumper cables. I was just wondering why he was taking so long,” she said. Jo just stared at her. Suddenly the woman said, “Ed? What happened?”
“Uhhh…” Eddie stammered.
“Hold it,” Jo said to the woman. “That’s your husband?”
“Yes. Why?” the confused woman asked.
“Eddie…why didn’t you tell me you had a wife?” Jo said in a fake cheerful voice, but with a menacing look on her face. “Oh, gee, I guess the kids and your faithful dog, Duke, are waiting in the car!”
“Jo, wait, let me explain…” Eddie said.
“Oooh, well you better start now ‘cause you’ve got a LOT of explaining to do – to me and that poor lady over there,” Jo said motioning towards Eddie’s wife.
At that moment, the door opened, and Blair came in. She looked around. “What’s going on in here? There are four strange kids sitting in a car in the driveway. A man is lying in some ice cream on the floor. Jo looks about ready to kill him. Rick is practically standing on this guy, and a total stranger is in my living room looking about as completely confused as I am,” she said.
“Oh, it’s a looong story,” Rick sighed. Jo turned to Blair, wiping her eyes.
“Wait, what’d you say about kids in the driveway?” Jo asked.
“I don’t know. There are four little kids sitting in a car parked in our driveway,” Blair said. Jo looked at Rick who shrugged his shoulders. Jo then looked down at Eddie who sort of grinned sheepishly.
“Well, gee, Jo. I was going to tell you…eventually. It just didn’t seem like and important detail,” he said.
“Don’t ‘Well, gee, Jo’ me. Start explaining,” Jo snapped.
“Well, uh, where should I start?” Eddie said fidgeting around.
“The beginning is usually a good place,” Jo said.
“Jo! Is that…is that Eddie?” Blair said in astonishment.
“Unfortunately,” Jo said.
“Hey, Blair. How’s it going?” Eddie said. Blair just looked at him.
“Uh, it’s going fine,” she said. “Jo, I’m going to go get something to eat. If you need anything, just yell,” Blair said.
“’Kay, thanks,” Jo said.
“Wait a minute. How do all of you know each other?” Eddie’s wife said. Jo let out a long breath.
“Sorry. I’m Jo Bonner. This is my husband Rick, and that woman that just came in is my best friend, Blair Warner. Eddie and I used to go out back when we were kids. He proposed to me when I was sixteen. I wanted to finish school, though, so with him in the Navy and me in school we kind of drifted apart and eventually broke up. Two years later, he tried to come back to me. It was fine until I found out he was married. I hadn’t seen him since then…until he showed up on my doorstep this afternoon,” Jo explained.
“Woah,” Eddie’s wife said.
“Yeah,” Jo said.
“Ed, you said you didn’t know where we were when we were driving around here today,” Eddie’s wife said.
“Dee, I wasn’t sure she still lived here!” Eddie protested.
“Jeez. And all this time I thought you just wanted to spend some quality time with me and the kids. You said we were going on a family vacation just to get out of the city for the day,” Deanna said.
“How many kids do you have?” Jo asked.
“Well, we have two, but Ed has two more from two previous marriages,” Deanna said.
“How old?” Jo asked.
“Let’s see…Callie will be six next month. Jonathan just turned four. Molly is two, and Ed Jr. is nine months old,” Deanna replied. “And you know what? Every day, after his shift at the gas station ends, he doesn’t come home to his wife and children. He goes out and parties with his friends, leaving me home alone in a one bedroom apartment in one of the worst neighborhoods of the Bronx with four kids, all under the age of seven…two of whom I’m not even related to,” Deanna said. “Boy, it felt good to get all of that off of my chest.”
“Wow. I’m sorry,” Jo said sympathetically. “He works at a gas station? What about the Navy?”
“I’m not in the Navy anymore,” Eddie said from still under Rick’s sneaker.
“Oh, so you decided you’re gonna talk? Go on,” Jo said.
“Well, uh, it might be easier if I could sit down,” Eddie said. Jo rolled her eyes.
“Fine. Rick, let the scum bucket get off the floor. He’s getting it dirty anyway. We’ll have to sterilize your shoe later,” Jo said. Eddie got up and sat in a chair while Jo paced in front of him, and his wife sat, looking hurt, on the couch. Eddie looked to Rick for help.
“Hey, Rick, we men have to stick together, right? You know how crazy women get when they get an idea in their head. They start acting like dingbats and jump all over you for just one little thing. They’ve got no brains or common sense. That’s why I never let my wife go to work. I’m the provider. The woman can take care of the kids and house and laundry. A woman’s job is to bring me my supper when I get home from work and, you know, gossiping and stuff,” Eddie said. At that point, Jo, and even Deanna, were both just staring at him in disbelief.
“You are one sick man. And you are so completely wrong. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being a housewife, Deanna, but wow. This is crazy. Jo is the most intelligent, beautiful, wonderful, magnificent creature that God ever made,” Rick said. “And don’t look to me for help. I’m staying out of this, but, just so you know, I’m behind my wife one hundred percent.” Jo smiled at Rick. He smiled back and began to clean up the spilt ice cream.
“Alright,” Jo said, turning to Eddie. “Out with it. Explain to me and your wife what this is all about.” Blair poked her head into the room.
“Jo…” she said.
“Blair, this isn’t the time or the place…” Jo patiently.
“But Jo…” Blair said.
“Not now, Blair,” Jo said, getting slightly irritated.
“Jo…!” Blair said.
“What is it, Blair?” Jo said, very annoyed.
“Well, I was thinking that those kids are still out there, and maybe we should let them come inside…” Blair said.
“Oh…yeah. Sorry, Blair. Good idea,” Jo said, smiling sheepishly at her friend. Deanna went out and brought the kids in. Blair took them into the kitchen for some ice cream.
“Now where were we?” Jo said. “Oh, yes, I remember! You were about to explain everything,” Jo glared at Eddie.
“Okay…here goes. After we saw each other last, Jo, my first wife and I got a divorce. Soon after, I got married again – to a different woman – and we had Callie together. Somehow, I got stuck with full custody of the kid after we got divorced only a year later. I fell in love – or so I thought – with another woman, and Jonathan was born. We got divorced, and I married Dee, here. We have Molly and Ed, Jr. But, Jo, none of these ladies could compare to you. That’s why I came back here looking for you,” Eddie said.
“I suppose some people might be flattered by that, but not me. I believe I am going to throw up,” Jo said.
“You?” Deanna exclaimed. “At least you’re not married to him,” she said.
“Oh, well, Dee-Dee, you see, I, uh… was just looking for her as an old friend,” Eddie said.
“You really do think I’m stupid, don’t you,” Deanna said. “The only stupid thing I’ve done is marry you,” she said. “How could I have thought, ‘Oh, maybe this time he’ll get his marriage right! He’s done it three times before!’ God!” Deanna yelled.
“They just didn’t work out because I was always thinking about Jo! She’s the one I should’ve married!” Eddie cried.
“Eddie, that wouldn’t have worked out either. By the time I was ready to get married, we had both changed so much already. Besides, I really only accepted your proposal out of spite. I was mad at my mom and my friends so it seemed like an easy way out. We aren’t the same people we were at sixteen – well, at least I’m not,” Jo said. “You’ve dropped out of the Navy. You’ve gone through four wives and had four children. And you’ve become a gas station attendant. In the same amount of time, I’ve graduated from high school and college. I’ve made some wonderful friends. I’ve become a well-trained social worker. I’ve found a guy I really love and gotten married,” Jo said.
Eddie started, “But, Jo…!”
Jo cut him off. “Look, bub. I don’t love you! I don’t like you! Heck, I can hardly even tolerate you! So get over it! Move on! You’ve got a great lady right here!” Jo said. “Now, if I were her, I’d be dropping you like a hot potato…but, well, luckily, I’m not her,” Jo said.
Deanna sighed. “Well, I guess, we’ll discuss this at home. Come on, Edward. I’ll get the children,” she said coolly. As they were leaving, Deanna turned to Jo. “Thanks for everything,” she said.
“Oh, yeah, no problem. I’m really sorry this whole thing had to happen. The best of luck to you,” Jo said.
“Thanks,” Dee said.
“Bye!” Jo said as they walked down the driveway.
“Jo!” Eddie said running back to the door. She looked at him disgustedly. “Come and marry me, Jo. Whaddaya say?” Eddie said.
“Good-bye,” Jo said, and she slammed the door in his face. Leaning against the closed door, Jo heaved a big sigh. “Well, that was interesting,” she said. Rick came over and put his arm around her as the two went to sit on the couch. Jo rested her head on his chest.
“Boy, I’m glad I’m the lucky guy who gets to be married to you,” Rick said.
“Me too,” Jo said smiling. Rick was just leaning in to kiss Jo when the doorbell rang. Jo rolled her eyes.
“Hold that thought,” she said to Rick as she got up to answer the door. Jo’s eyes bugged out as she saw who it was.
“Jo!” the man at the door cried. “It’s me, Hack!” he exclaimed. Jo slammed the door, locked it, and turned the deadbolt.
“Who was that?” Rick asked.
“Uhhh, no one,” Jo said, her face pale. “Blair! Come here!” Jo said.
“What? What is it?” Blair said, running into the living room.
“Would you mind going outside and seeing if any more of my old boyfriends are out there?” Jo said.
“Uhhh, sure,” Blair said, and she went outside.
“Thanks,” Jo said as she collapsed into the couch. “Now, where were we?” she said to Rick. He smiled, and the happily married couple kissed.
“I never knew looking for an apartment could be so tiring,” Jo said as she and her husband, Rick Bonner, walked into the kitchen from outside.
“No kidding. And we’re going to have to do it all over again tomorrow because we didn’t find one today,” Rick said.
“You want some ice cream?” Jo said, opening up the freezer.
“Sure, thanks, honey,” Rick said, looking for some bowls. “So where’s everybody else?”
“Uh, Blair’s at the center. Andy’s at a friend’s house. Tootie’s visiting Nat in SoHo. And Beverly Ann and Pippa are at the mall, I think,” Jo replied and began dishing out the ice cream. Just then, the doorbell rang. “I’ll be right back. You finish dishing it out,” Jo said to Rick and left to answer the front door.
When she opened the door, Jo found a strange, middle-age-looking man with a bushy beard standing in front of her.
“Jo!!!” the man cried and hugged her.
“What the…” Jo said. She broke away from the hug.
“Who are you?” Jo asked.
“Don’t you recognize me?” the man said. Jo just stared at him. “Jo, it’s me!” he said.
“Eddie??” Jo said incredulously.
“I knew you wouldn’t forget me!” Eddie exclaimed to a rather freaked out Jo.
“Eddie, what’re you doing here? I wasn’t exactly expecting you…” Jo said.
“Oh, I know, Jo. I’ll explain everything later. I can’t believe you still live here,” Eddie said and went to hug Jo again, but she backed away.
Rick had finished in the kitchen and came into the living room, carrying two bowls of ice cream, to see what was taking so long.
“Here, it was melting,” Rick said, handing one bowl to Jo.
“Who the heck is this?” Eddie asked.
“I was wondering the same thing,” Rick said.
“Uhh…weeeelll…ummm…Alright, uh, Rick, this is my old, you know, ex-boyfriend, Eddie Brennan,” Jo said. Rick raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said. “Uh, nice to meet you,” he said.
“Eddie, this is my husband, Rick Bonner,” Jo said. Rick stuck out his hand to shake, but Eddie just looked at him in disgust.
“Your what?” Eddie said as Rick put his hand down.
“My husband,” Jo said. “We’ve been married a month and a half.” Eddie’s face fell.
“Oh…” he said.
“Well, uh, why don’t we all sit down and get to know each other,” Jo said. She and Rick sat down on the couch and Eddie took the chair.
“Uhhh, so Eddie, what do you do for a living?” Rick asked.
“I’m in with the Gas Company, now,” Eddie said. Rick nodded interestedly.
“Whatever happened to the computer skills you were learning in the Navy?” Jo asked.
“Oh, I, uh, didn’t find much use for them in this business,” Eddie said.
“Oh,” Jo said. “Oh, Eddie, can I, uh, get you anything to eat or drink? Some coffee or something?” she asked.
“Sure, Jo. That’d be great,” Eddie said. Jo started to get up, but Rick stopped her.
“That’s ok, Jo. I’ll get it so you two can visit,” Rick said.
“Thanks, honey,” Jo smiled at him.
“Jo, I can’t believe you live in the same house still. Jeez…I think the last time I was here was six years ago. You’d think you would’ve moved out by now,” Eddie said.
“No. It’s been great here. But I’m gonna move out as soon as Rick and I find a place together,” Jo said.
“So, what does Rick do?” Eddie asked.
“He’s a concert pianist. In fact, he returned last month from a European tour with the American Philharmonic Orchestra,” Jo said.
“A pianist? You mean that you married a guy who plays the piano instead of me?” Eddie said.
“What’re you talking about, Eddie?” Jo said.
“Oh, Jo. I’ve never been able to get you off my mind. You’re the only girl I truly loved. I’m sorry about the mistakes I made, but that’s in the past. Just dump that loser in the kitchen and take me back!” Eddie said.
“Eddie, I’m a happily married woman! We went out when I was sixteen! It’s over! There comes a time when you just have to move on in life!” Jo yelled.
“But, Jo…” Eddie started but stopped as Rick came into the room.
“Hey,” Rick said handing out the coffee, “so what’d I miss?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing,” Jo said.
“So Rick – it is Rick right? I hear you just got back from a concert tour. How was it?” Eddie asked propping his feet up on the table.
“Get your feet off the table,” Jo said.
“Oh, it was fun, but I had to leave the day after the wedding which wasn’t great,” Rick said.
“You left your poor, little wife all alone right after your wedding day? Did you even go on a honeymoon? Sheesh! I would’ve never done that to you Jo,” Eddie said. Jo gave him a dirty look.
“Anyone who knows Jo, knows that she is anything but a ‘poor little wife.’ She’s a big girl who can take care of herself just fine,” Rick said hotly. “And yes, we did go on our honeymoon to Hawaii when I got back,” Rick added, annoyed. Calming down a bit, he said, “But, yeah, I did miss my Jo,” and put his arm around her.
“Your Jo? I don’t think so. She’s my Jo!” Eddie said standing up.
Staying cool, Rick said, “Ah, no, sir. I do believe that I am the one wearing the wedding ring. I am the one looking for an apartment with her. It also seems that I am sitting here with my arm around her…not you.”
Eddie got so mad that he reached over and grabbed Jo’s arm, pulling her up next to him and putting her in a wrestling hold. “No, Jo is, was, and always will be mine!” he said.
“Look guys,” Jo said, sort of struggling with Eddie, “I’m not property or anything! I don’t belong to anybody!”
Rick jumped up so fast that he knocked both bowls of ice cream onto the floor. “Get your filthy, stinkin’ paws off her. Now,” he commanded quietly.
“Make me,” Eddie taunted. “Or are you too scared to get those pretty piano hands of yours into a fight?” he said, loosening his grip on Jo a little.
“I really don’t want to stoop to your level, but believe me, buddy, I could take you down in a second. You want me to show you?” Rick said, putting his hands up and moving into a position to punch Eddie.
Jo looked at Rick and slightly shook her head. Then she nodded towards Eddie and mouthed, “Keep him talking.”
Rick picked up on what Jo was thinking, that when Eddie was talking he wasn’t paying as much attention to restraining Jo, so Rick kept him talking.
Meanwhile, Jo slowly released one arm from his grip and elbowed him in the stomach – hard. With Eddie doubled over, Rick took the opportunity and flipped him over onto the ground where he pinned him down with his foot. Jo leaned over Eddie and said, “Maybe someday you’ll figure out that I don’t need a baby-sitter or a bodyguard from my marriage – I just need a friend.”
Overwhelmed by the whole experience, she turned to Rick and buried her head in his chest and cried. As Rick was soothing Jo, Eddie began to get up. Rick just stuck his foot out and pushed him back to the ground. Just then, a knock sounded on the front door.
“Come in,” Jo sniffled. A woman around Jo’s age walked in.
“Sorry to interrupt, but my husband came in here awhile ago. Our car broke down, and he was going to ask to use your phone to call a tow truck or see if you had jumper cables. I was just wondering why he was taking so long,” she said. Jo just stared at her. Suddenly the woman said, “Ed? What happened?”
“Uhhh…” Eddie stammered.
“Hold it,” Jo said to the woman. “That’s your husband?”
“Yes. Why?” the confused woman asked.
“Eddie…why didn’t you tell me you had a wife?” Jo said in a fake cheerful voice, but with a menacing look on her face. “Oh, gee, I guess the kids and your faithful dog, Duke, are waiting in the car!”
“Jo, wait, let me explain…” Eddie said.
“Oooh, well you better start now ‘cause you’ve got a LOT of explaining to do – to me and that poor lady over there,” Jo said motioning towards Eddie’s wife.
At that moment, the door opened, and Blair came in. She looked around. “What’s going on in here? There are four strange kids sitting in a car in the driveway. A man is lying in some ice cream on the floor. Jo looks about ready to kill him. Rick is practically standing on this guy, and a total stranger is in my living room looking about as completely confused as I am,” she said.
“Oh, it’s a looong story,” Rick sighed. Jo turned to Blair, wiping her eyes.
“Wait, what’d you say about kids in the driveway?” Jo asked.
“I don’t know. There are four little kids sitting in a car parked in our driveway,” Blair said. Jo looked at Rick who shrugged his shoulders. Jo then looked down at Eddie who sort of grinned sheepishly.
“Well, gee, Jo. I was going to tell you…eventually. It just didn’t seem like and important detail,” he said.
“Don’t ‘Well, gee, Jo’ me. Start explaining,” Jo snapped.
“Well, uh, where should I start?” Eddie said fidgeting around.
“The beginning is usually a good place,” Jo said.
“Jo! Is that…is that Eddie?” Blair said in astonishment.
“Unfortunately,” Jo said.
“Hey, Blair. How’s it going?” Eddie said. Blair just looked at him.
“Uh, it’s going fine,” she said. “Jo, I’m going to go get something to eat. If you need anything, just yell,” Blair said.
“’Kay, thanks,” Jo said.
“Wait a minute. How do all of you know each other?” Eddie’s wife said. Jo let out a long breath.
“Sorry. I’m Jo Bonner. This is my husband Rick, and that woman that just came in is my best friend, Blair Warner. Eddie and I used to go out back when we were kids. He proposed to me when I was sixteen. I wanted to finish school, though, so with him in the Navy and me in school we kind of drifted apart and eventually broke up. Two years later, he tried to come back to me. It was fine until I found out he was married. I hadn’t seen him since then…until he showed up on my doorstep this afternoon,” Jo explained.
“Woah,” Eddie’s wife said.
“Yeah,” Jo said.
“Ed, you said you didn’t know where we were when we were driving around here today,” Eddie’s wife said.
“Dee, I wasn’t sure she still lived here!” Eddie protested.
“Jeez. And all this time I thought you just wanted to spend some quality time with me and the kids. You said we were going on a family vacation just to get out of the city for the day,” Deanna said.
“How many kids do you have?” Jo asked.
“Well, we have two, but Ed has two more from two previous marriages,” Deanna said.
“How old?” Jo asked.
“Let’s see…Callie will be six next month. Jonathan just turned four. Molly is two, and Ed Jr. is nine months old,” Deanna replied. “And you know what? Every day, after his shift at the gas station ends, he doesn’t come home to his wife and children. He goes out and parties with his friends, leaving me home alone in a one bedroom apartment in one of the worst neighborhoods of the Bronx with four kids, all under the age of seven…two of whom I’m not even related to,” Deanna said. “Boy, it felt good to get all of that off of my chest.”
“Wow. I’m sorry,” Jo said sympathetically. “He works at a gas station? What about the Navy?”
“I’m not in the Navy anymore,” Eddie said from still under Rick’s sneaker.
“Oh, so you decided you’re gonna talk? Go on,” Jo said.
“Well, uh, it might be easier if I could sit down,” Eddie said. Jo rolled her eyes.
“Fine. Rick, let the scum bucket get off the floor. He’s getting it dirty anyway. We’ll have to sterilize your shoe later,” Jo said. Eddie got up and sat in a chair while Jo paced in front of him, and his wife sat, looking hurt, on the couch. Eddie looked to Rick for help.
“Hey, Rick, we men have to stick together, right? You know how crazy women get when they get an idea in their head. They start acting like dingbats and jump all over you for just one little thing. They’ve got no brains or common sense. That’s why I never let my wife go to work. I’m the provider. The woman can take care of the kids and house and laundry. A woman’s job is to bring me my supper when I get home from work and, you know, gossiping and stuff,” Eddie said. At that point, Jo, and even Deanna, were both just staring at him in disbelief.
“You are one sick man. And you are so completely wrong. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being a housewife, Deanna, but wow. This is crazy. Jo is the most intelligent, beautiful, wonderful, magnificent creature that God ever made,” Rick said. “And don’t look to me for help. I’m staying out of this, but, just so you know, I’m behind my wife one hundred percent.” Jo smiled at Rick. He smiled back and began to clean up the spilt ice cream.
“Alright,” Jo said, turning to Eddie. “Out with it. Explain to me and your wife what this is all about.” Blair poked her head into the room.
“Jo…” she said.
“Blair, this isn’t the time or the place…” Jo patiently.
“But Jo…” Blair said.
“Not now, Blair,” Jo said, getting slightly irritated.
“Jo…!” Blair said.
“What is it, Blair?” Jo said, very annoyed.
“Well, I was thinking that those kids are still out there, and maybe we should let them come inside…” Blair said.
“Oh…yeah. Sorry, Blair. Good idea,” Jo said, smiling sheepishly at her friend. Deanna went out and brought the kids in. Blair took them into the kitchen for some ice cream.
“Now where were we?” Jo said. “Oh, yes, I remember! You were about to explain everything,” Jo glared at Eddie.
“Okay…here goes. After we saw each other last, Jo, my first wife and I got a divorce. Soon after, I got married again – to a different woman – and we had Callie together. Somehow, I got stuck with full custody of the kid after we got divorced only a year later. I fell in love – or so I thought – with another woman, and Jonathan was born. We got divorced, and I married Dee, here. We have Molly and Ed, Jr. But, Jo, none of these ladies could compare to you. That’s why I came back here looking for you,” Eddie said.
“I suppose some people might be flattered by that, but not me. I believe I am going to throw up,” Jo said.
“You?” Deanna exclaimed. “At least you’re not married to him,” she said.
“Oh, well, Dee-Dee, you see, I, uh… was just looking for her as an old friend,” Eddie said.
“You really do think I’m stupid, don’t you,” Deanna said. “The only stupid thing I’ve done is marry you,” she said. “How could I have thought, ‘Oh, maybe this time he’ll get his marriage right! He’s done it three times before!’ God!” Deanna yelled.
“They just didn’t work out because I was always thinking about Jo! She’s the one I should’ve married!” Eddie cried.
“Eddie, that wouldn’t have worked out either. By the time I was ready to get married, we had both changed so much already. Besides, I really only accepted your proposal out of spite. I was mad at my mom and my friends so it seemed like an easy way out. We aren’t the same people we were at sixteen – well, at least I’m not,” Jo said. “You’ve dropped out of the Navy. You’ve gone through four wives and had four children. And you’ve become a gas station attendant. In the same amount of time, I’ve graduated from high school and college. I’ve made some wonderful friends. I’ve become a well-trained social worker. I’ve found a guy I really love and gotten married,” Jo said.
Eddie started, “But, Jo…!”
Jo cut him off. “Look, bub. I don’t love you! I don’t like you! Heck, I can hardly even tolerate you! So get over it! Move on! You’ve got a great lady right here!” Jo said. “Now, if I were her, I’d be dropping you like a hot potato…but, well, luckily, I’m not her,” Jo said.
Deanna sighed. “Well, I guess, we’ll discuss this at home. Come on, Edward. I’ll get the children,” she said coolly. As they were leaving, Deanna turned to Jo. “Thanks for everything,” she said.
“Oh, yeah, no problem. I’m really sorry this whole thing had to happen. The best of luck to you,” Jo said.
“Thanks,” Dee said.
“Bye!” Jo said as they walked down the driveway.
“Jo!” Eddie said running back to the door. She looked at him disgustedly. “Come and marry me, Jo. Whaddaya say?” Eddie said.
“Good-bye,” Jo said, and she slammed the door in his face. Leaning against the closed door, Jo heaved a big sigh. “Well, that was interesting,” she said. Rick came over and put his arm around her as the two went to sit on the couch. Jo rested her head on his chest.
“Boy, I’m glad I’m the lucky guy who gets to be married to you,” Rick said.
“Me too,” Jo said smiling. Rick was just leaning in to kiss Jo when the doorbell rang. Jo rolled her eyes.
“Hold that thought,” she said to Rick as she got up to answer the door. Jo’s eyes bugged out as she saw who it was.
“Jo!” the man at the door cried. “It’s me, Hack!” he exclaimed. Jo slammed the door, locked it, and turned the deadbolt.
“Who was that?” Rick asked.
“Uhhh, no one,” Jo said, her face pale. “Blair! Come here!” Jo said.
“What? What is it?” Blair said, running into the living room.
“Would you mind going outside and seeing if any more of my old boyfriends are out there?” Jo said.
“Uhhh, sure,” Blair said, and she went outside.
“Thanks,” Jo said as she collapsed into the couch. “Now, where were we?” she said to Rick. He smiled, and the happily married couple kissed.