A Honeymooners Income Tax Day:

(Ralph & Ed are shown watching TV in the Kramden apartment. It is the week before Income Tax Day.)

(Alice & Trixie come out of the bedroom.)

Trixie: "Boys, do you know that it is the week before Income Tax Day and you two have not had our taxes done yet."

Ralph: "Oh, you girls don't need to worry. We got plenty of time."

Alice: "When are you two going to make sure they are done?"

Ralph: "This Monday. We have nothing to do that night. I was hoping on getting to the Sears store and using their H&R Block tax services."

Ed: "Me too. Hey Ralph, when we are in the mall, let's throw coins into the fountain. I love seeing all that water. Reminds me of my job."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Alice: "Ralph, what if something happens to you two? You guys always do the taxes at the last minute."

Ralph: "Procastination rules. If the IRS leaves this country tomorrow, we would have done our taxes for nothing. They may be gone tomorrow. Ha ha!"

Ed: "With the way Ralph eats, HE may be gone tomorrow."

Ralph: "Oh, you are a RIOT Norton."

(The following Monday, Ralph and Ed are scrambling to get to H&R Block at Sears. They run into the girls in the subway.)

Ralph: "Both of us had to work overtime. We are now going to pay."

Ed: "We got lucky the last times. We may miss this one...." (starting to cry, yells): "RALPH, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON! LET'S GO!"

(They get on the subway. They head to Sears only to find out that it closed at 8p.)

Ralph: "Those BUMS! Now, we have to go to the another H&R Block."

Ed: "We may never make it Ralph. I so don't want to miss SpongeBob tomorrow."

(Ralph hits Ed in the shoulder.)

(They finally arrive at H&R Block. It is 40 minutes to closing. They approach a man to do their taxes.)

Ralph: "Haminahamina!"

Man: "What are you saying sir?"

Ed: "That is just his way of being calm and cool."

Ralph: "Sir, we arrived. You re a lifesaver."

Man: "I am afraid that you two are too late. We can't do your taxes now. It is too late."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT? IT IS TOUGH FOR ME AND ESPECIALLY HIM (Norton) TO DO OUR TAXES. IT TAKES US FIVE HOURS."

Alice (in the distance, yells): "HEY RALPH!"

Ralph (looking around): "Yes, Alice."

(Alice & Trixie come by.)

Alice: "We already had our taxes done and filed. We made duplicate copies of these forms and laid them in the house. We knew that you two were going to file them at the last minute, so we decided to teach you a lesson."

Ralph (relived): "Oh baby! Baby, you two are the greatest."

Ed: "With all that running around we did, I thought Ralph's heart wouldn't stop beating."

Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT NORTON! PUT 'EM UP! PUT 'EM UP!"

(The girls try to separate the two.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)