Frank Gannucci
02-12-2016, 08:59 AM
Episode Reviews: "Dial J For Janitor" & "A Man's Pride":
Episode #146 (Syndicated episode #32)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "A Woman's Work Is Never Done." On the Honeymooners Tape "The Bensonhurst Blues", it is attached to "The Bensonhurst Bomber", "Please Leave The Premises", "Young Man With A Horn" & "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Head of The House"):
Laserdisc: Attached to “Oh My Aching Back”, “The Babysitter”, “$99,000 Answer”, “Ralph Kramden Inc.”, “The Safety Award”, “Alice & The Blonde”, “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Mind Your Own Business”), “The Bensonhurst Bomber” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #24 - #32 (in syndication, this episode number as stated as above is #32.) On the HD Blu-Ray set, it might be attached to either one or some of the following bonus material: The full, 1-hour musical special The Honeymooners: The Adoption from 1966, sponsor openings and closings for many episodes, 35th and 50th network TV anniversary specials, 60 Minutes profile with Jackie Gleason
To see the script for this episode, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-honeymooners-1955&episode=s04e38
Ed Norton comes down and greets Alice. His apartment has no water because of a plumbing problem. He can't believe after working all day in the sewer, he wants to SEE water. Alice & Ed agree that the janitor should be able to provide water through the plumbing for the whole building. Ralph comes home with a splitting headache. He doesn't want to hear any loud noises because of his headache. Ed tells him a story on how he was in the navy and he had a brain tumor so he went to the doctor to get it removed and after that, some of his friends said: "What did the doctor remove, the tumor or the brain?" Ralph: "You don't have to ask me. I know what he removed." Ed goes back upstairs. Alice tries to help Ralph with his headache. There is banging going on upstairs in the Norton's apartment. Ralph opens the window and finds out that Norton is banging on the pipes, hoping to get some water. Ed: "I need to take a bath." Ralph: "Do me a favor and stay dirty just for the night." Ed comes back downstairs. He said he stopped banging on the pipes, but he needs some water to take a bath because Trixie's folks are coming over. He asks for some water. The landlord, Mr. Johnson, comes in. Ralph: "Mr. Johnson, headaches and you go together." Both Ralph & Ed complain about the janitor. The landlord is livid because the janitor quit on account of Ralph & Ed because they didn't give him a minute's rest even with the benefit of free rent. Mr. Johnson: "One way or another, I am going to throw you two out of this building!" Ralph calms him down and talks to him outside. Ed explains the whole situation to Alice. Ralph comes back in and says that the janitor is a human being and we should treat him as such. Ralph then reveals that he's the new janitor of the building. Ralph explains that with this second job, he gets two salaries and free rent. Alice thinks that he is crazy. Ed then says to Ralph: "Fix my pipes." They leave.
The next day, Ralph is in his janitor's uniform and is building a house phone that is only supposed to call people in the building. He figures with this phone, people can call him on the phone without any problem instead of yelling: "Where is he? Where is he?" Alice then tells Ralph because he went bowling last night, she had to take over the duties of janitor, much to her chagrin and gives Ralph a list of the complaints about things in the building that need to be fixed (one of them being that Ralph broke someone's window blinds and Ed wanting his water pipes fixed.) She says that if Ralph insists on being janitor, he should cut out some of the things he does for fun, like going bowling. Ralph: "That is the most ridiculous thing that I ever heard. Why should I cut out bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight." Alice: "You don't need something to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up." Ralph isn't amused at the fat joke that Alice made. After finishing the house phone, Ralph goes out into the hallway and makes very good (and a very funny) use of his voice by yelling: "ATTENTION EVERYONE! EVERYBODY IN THE BUILDING. HERE THIS: THE HOUE PHONE IS IN! IF YOU WANT TO GET ME, JUST BUZZ. YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL OUT IN THE HALL ANYMORE." Ralph comes back coughing. Ralph: "Dusty out in that hall." The house phone rings. The ring is not a ring at all. It's just a very loud buzzing noise. Ralph picks it up. It's Mrs. Manicotti. Ralph: "What do you mean I didn't fix your sink? When you were out last Sunday, I spent three hours fixing your sink. By the way, you could at least have the courtesy if you wanted me to fix your sink to take the dirty dishes out....Oh...All right." (to Alice): "I spent three hours fixing her kitchen sink and it was the bathroom sink that is broken." The house phone rings a second time. Ralph picks it up, but the house phone is still ringing, so Ralph hits the wall. D'oh! Not something that was in the script. I guess the reason why Jackie hit the wall with his hand was to tell the people in the control room to turn of the buzzing. Ralph: "What do you want Mrs. Fogarty? Someone's been emptying out your ice box? Why are you telling me for? You think I would do that?...Don't me a Wisenheimer, Mrs. Fogarty." Ralph hangs up and sits down, but it rings again. Ralph picks it up. Ralph: "No, Mrs. Schwartz. This is a house phone. You can't get Jersey on it." Ralph hangs up again and sits down only to be greeted by Ed, who looks like he's very sick. Ralph: "Can I get you anything?" Ed: "Yes! Water! Water! Water! I want water!" Ed complains that Ralph is the worst janitor yet and complains about him not taking his garbage out. Ralph: "I didn't do that because it's part of my efficiency system. Your trash can was only half-full. When it's full-full, then I will take it down. Then I will make one trip instead of two. Save a trip here- save a trip there, it all mounts up. Ed: "That's what I am afraid of. It's mounting up all over the building." Ed complains about his water pipes not being fixed. Ralph: "I will fix your water pipes tomorrow morning." Ralph then says: "One hand washes the other while both hands wash the face." Ed: "Just give me water. I know how to wash." He leaves. Ralph says the reason that he is fixing Ed's water pipes tomorrow is because tonight, a building inspector is coming to see the building tonight. The house phone rings again. Alice picks it up after Ralph refuses to pick it up. Alice hangs up and says: "That was Mr. Riley (or some man), he said: 'Eureka! My garbage can is full.'" Ha!
The next morning before he goes to drive a bus, Ralph is downstairs in the cellar, trying to find the solution to Ed's problems. Alice yells that it is almost 8am and he has to get to the bus company. Ed comes down. Ralph explains the situation to Ed. Ralph climbs between two big pipes to fix Ed's problem. He becomes stuck. (The pipes are close together and because of Ralph's weight, he becomes stuck.) The heat from the pipes is making him sweat, so he asks Ed to go into that little room that is one the left of the two pipes and turn the wheel against the wall. He does, but he makes it worse. Ralph (yells): "I SAID: 'TURN IT AGAINST THE WALL.'" Ed (yells): "THERE ARE FOUR WALLS." Gee, that was some help Ralph gave to Ed. Mrs. Manicotti comes down and sees that Ralph needs some help and yells: "OH MY GOODNESS! HELP! HELP!" She runs out to get help. Ed turns the wheel again and it comes off. Alice says to Ralph that it is 8am despite the fact that 10 minutes haven't passed since she said its 7:50am to Ralph a few minutes ago. The firemen come and try to rescue Ralph.
Later that day at home, the house phone rings and its Mr. Johnson. He is coming to see Ralph. Ralph (in his robe) comes out and says what happened this morning wasn't his fault. Alice: "Sure it wasn't Ralph. You were just doing your best impression of 10 pounds of bologna in a one pound bag." She said something like that. Ralph, regardless of what Ralph says, that he isn't quitting as janitor. He also can't believe what Ed did. (Ed sent out a petition to all the people in the building to fire him as janitor.) Mr. Johnson comes up. They talk and at the end of the short conversation, Ralph quits as janitor but says, if he doesn't have one, he will still do the job until he gets a replacement. He already got a new janitor: Ed Norton. Ralph (sits down): "No no no no." He can't believe Ed's been hired as the new janitor.
On a side note, in the Honeymooners Official Treasury Book, it says that the original script had the Kramdens moving into the janitor's apartment which was supposed to be street level but it was going to be similar to their apartment. The original script had the Kramdens dealing with trouble like living two steps away from the subway train, a very bad-looking floor etc. I wish Jackie didn't change the script as I think the original one was funnier. But, I can understand why since that would require a new set to be made as well as set changes.
Also of note, I recorded five episodes from the Honeymooners New Year's Day Marathon in 1997 and during the closing credits of one of them, a guy (I will call him the voice of WPIX or some stations that are owned by Tribune since he's been doing advertisements for WPIX and some of it's programming even when the channel was an independent channel as well as WGN) does a voice-over and plugs the upcoming episode in the marathon: "Dial J For Janitor." He says there's one moment in this episode that wasn't a part of the original script. At first, I assumed it was the scene where Ralph got caught in between the pipes (since Gleason was so fat back then) but I realized it was the scene where Ralph picked up the house phone and hit the wall with his hand because the buzzing "from" the phone was still being heard.
Episode #147 (Syndicated episode #39)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "A Matter of Record." On the Honeymooners Tape "Jealousy Loves Company", it is attached to "House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"), "Mama Loves Mambo", "Alice & The Blonde" & "The Babysitter."
Laserdisc: Attached to “Oh My Aching Back”, “The Babysitter”, “$99,000 Answer”, “Ralph Kramden Inc.”, “The Safety Award”, “Alice & The Blonde”, “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Mind Your Own Business”), “Dial J For Janitor” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #33 - 39 of the classic 39, with the original opening and closings of the show, along with an edited Honeymooners special that aired on CBS. Paramount edited the lost episode clips that were originally apart of this special. On the HD Blu-Ray set, it might be attached to either one or some of the following bonus material: The full, 1-hour musical special The Honeymooners: The Adoption from 1966, sponsor openings and closings for many episodes, 35th and 50th network TV anniversary specials and 60 Minutes profile with Jackie Gleason.
This is the last classic 39 episode ever made. But syndication shows these episodes out of order, so if you watched the Classic 39 on TV (except for WPIX), the last Classic 39 episode you will see is “Alice & The Blonde.” and that is because for some TV shows, the original airdates are episode numbers don’t match up.
To see the script for this episode, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-honeymooners-1955&episode=s04e39
Ralph & Ed have just been to a fight at the old MSG. Ed goes in to congratulate on of the fighters. Ralph waits outside and gets greeted by Alice's old friend and Ralph's old enemy, Bill Davis. They are friendly to each other. They reminisce about old times and how Bill wrote this in Ralph's old autograph book in school: "Some kids are small. Some kids are tall. Fatso Kramden is the only one who walks down the hall, Wall-to-Wall." Ed comes out and greets Bill. Bill says that he is doing fine. He is the owner of a big company in Chicago and has an office in Akron and he flew here by plane. Ralph says that he is in the transportation business and he runs things. Ed: "Every morning, he's in the driver's seat." Ralph doesn't tell Bill that he's a bus driver, but president of the Gotham Bus Company. Bill wants to see Ralph tomorrow at 8am, but Ralph says he has appointments. Ed: "Ralph is going to see loads of people." They make an appointment. Bill will see Ralph tomorrow at 6pm (that's the time everyone in the office leaves.) Bill leaves. Ralph explained that he lied to Bill because he wants Bill to know that he is successful and they both wanted Alice when they were young and promised her everything. Ed doesn't agree with the lying because a similar situation happened to him, but he told the guy that he was a sewer worker. The other guy’s job? A garbage collector. They leave.
The next evening, Mr. Mitchell (Ralph's boss & the owner of the company in this episode) announces to his wife that he has to work overtime (past 6pm). D'oh! This will be a surprise to Ralph. He goes into another room. Ralph comes in, sees a big empty chair and sits in it. He is surprised when he sees his boss. He then realizes Mr. Mitchell has to work late. They talk over Ralph's promotion (which he probably doesn't get as later episodes still depict him as a bus driver most of the time at least) & that Mr. Mitchell isn't in charge of promotions. Mr. Mitchell goes into another room and when Bill & Ed come in and see the office, Ralph tries to get them out before Mr. Mitchell sees them. Bill tells Ralph to relax and he can go back to work in a half-hour. Ralph says he can't because he has an appointment with Mr. Monohan and he can't break it. That is enough for Bill. He understands. He tries to get Ralph's number. Ralph says that it is unlisted (he doesn't want him to know that he uses Ed's phone). Ed gives him his number and Trixie, the maid will get it. Bill leaves with Ed. Ralph leaves, but when he gets his hat, Mr. Mitchell yells at him. He wonders why he's still here. Ralph says that he knows that he has to talk with someone else about promotions.
The next day, Alice gets a call from Bill. His flight has been canceled and he invited the Kramdens to a dinner at the Colonnade Room with his wife. When Ralph comes in, he gets a standing ovation from the audience despite the fact that he was in the two previous scenes, he gets told of the dinner invitation. Ralph, knowing that Bill will talk about Ralph's job that he (Bill) thinks he has will come up and tries to make several excuses to get out of it, but Alice hears nothing of it. Ralph hasn't told Alice what he told Bill about his job. Ed comes down. Ralph tells him the situation. He tries to get some excuses from Ed. Ed has one which goes something like: "Tell Alice that you have a new job. You are captain of a famous ship and it's sailing in 20 minutes." Ralph thinks that idea is crazy. Ralph: "Anybody who asks you for an idea must be stupid. Come on Norton, give me an idea." Basically, Ralph admitted that he is stupid. Ed can’t' come up with another one. Ralph then says to Ed to forget about it and that this mess was his fault. Ralph: "I am going to learn from here on in, how to swallow my pride." Ed: "That shouldn't be too hard. You learned how to swallow everything else." Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
At the restaurant, Ralph tries to stop Bill from talking about business. When he does, Ralph asks Alice for a dance. They go out to the dance floor (which is in another room). Bill then tells what he told Ralph and that he invited them to come. Bill's real job is revealed. It's an assistant plumber. Bill's wife says that they can't afford the dinner here for the four of them so Bill says that Ralph will pay for it because of the job he has. Ralph & Alice come back. Mambo music came on and Ralph says he can't dance to mambo music. Didn't he try to in "Mama Loves Mambo"? Bill asks to dance with his wife. They do. Ralph reveals to Alice what he told Bill. He says with the job that Bill has, he can pay for it. When Bill offers to pay the check, he will ask to pay the check and because of that, Ralph thinks Bill will pay for it. Bill and his wife come back. The waiter gives them the check. Ralph: "Now wait a minute Bill, I insist that I pay the check." Bill: "Okay Ralph." Ralph has a shocked look on his face. Bill expects Ralph to pay for the check and Ralph can't afford to pay for it. Ralph confesses the truth to Bill that he's a bus driver and not the owner of the bus company and the reason why he told him that was because after he heard what a nice job Bill has, he wanted to look good. Ralph says that it was his pride. Bill confesses the truth to Ralph. He's an assistant plumber and not a company with an office in Akron. He and his wife didn't come by plane, but by bus. He can't afford the check either. Everybody laughs because of the funny situation that they are in and each of them offer money to pay the check.
Credit goes to Yahoo! Groups You’re A Riot, honeymooners.net, the Lost Episodes DVD Booklet, John K’s Book To The Moon & tvshowsondvd.com & Bill's Mooners Archives.
Episode #146 (Syndicated episode #32)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "A Woman's Work Is Never Done." On the Honeymooners Tape "The Bensonhurst Blues", it is attached to "The Bensonhurst Bomber", "Please Leave The Premises", "Young Man With A Horn" & "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Head of The House"):
Laserdisc: Attached to “Oh My Aching Back”, “The Babysitter”, “$99,000 Answer”, “Ralph Kramden Inc.”, “The Safety Award”, “Alice & The Blonde”, “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Mind Your Own Business”), “The Bensonhurst Bomber” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #24 - #32 (in syndication, this episode number as stated as above is #32.) On the HD Blu-Ray set, it might be attached to either one or some of the following bonus material: The full, 1-hour musical special The Honeymooners: The Adoption from 1966, sponsor openings and closings for many episodes, 35th and 50th network TV anniversary specials, 60 Minutes profile with Jackie Gleason
To see the script for this episode, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-honeymooners-1955&episode=s04e38
Ed Norton comes down and greets Alice. His apartment has no water because of a plumbing problem. He can't believe after working all day in the sewer, he wants to SEE water. Alice & Ed agree that the janitor should be able to provide water through the plumbing for the whole building. Ralph comes home with a splitting headache. He doesn't want to hear any loud noises because of his headache. Ed tells him a story on how he was in the navy and he had a brain tumor so he went to the doctor to get it removed and after that, some of his friends said: "What did the doctor remove, the tumor or the brain?" Ralph: "You don't have to ask me. I know what he removed." Ed goes back upstairs. Alice tries to help Ralph with his headache. There is banging going on upstairs in the Norton's apartment. Ralph opens the window and finds out that Norton is banging on the pipes, hoping to get some water. Ed: "I need to take a bath." Ralph: "Do me a favor and stay dirty just for the night." Ed comes back downstairs. He said he stopped banging on the pipes, but he needs some water to take a bath because Trixie's folks are coming over. He asks for some water. The landlord, Mr. Johnson, comes in. Ralph: "Mr. Johnson, headaches and you go together." Both Ralph & Ed complain about the janitor. The landlord is livid because the janitor quit on account of Ralph & Ed because they didn't give him a minute's rest even with the benefit of free rent. Mr. Johnson: "One way or another, I am going to throw you two out of this building!" Ralph calms him down and talks to him outside. Ed explains the whole situation to Alice. Ralph comes back in and says that the janitor is a human being and we should treat him as such. Ralph then reveals that he's the new janitor of the building. Ralph explains that with this second job, he gets two salaries and free rent. Alice thinks that he is crazy. Ed then says to Ralph: "Fix my pipes." They leave.
The next day, Ralph is in his janitor's uniform and is building a house phone that is only supposed to call people in the building. He figures with this phone, people can call him on the phone without any problem instead of yelling: "Where is he? Where is he?" Alice then tells Ralph because he went bowling last night, she had to take over the duties of janitor, much to her chagrin and gives Ralph a list of the complaints about things in the building that need to be fixed (one of them being that Ralph broke someone's window blinds and Ed wanting his water pipes fixed.) She says that if Ralph insists on being janitor, he should cut out some of the things he does for fun, like going bowling. Ralph: "That is the most ridiculous thing that I ever heard. Why should I cut out bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight." Alice: "You don't need something to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up." Ralph isn't amused at the fat joke that Alice made. After finishing the house phone, Ralph goes out into the hallway and makes very good (and a very funny) use of his voice by yelling: "ATTENTION EVERYONE! EVERYBODY IN THE BUILDING. HERE THIS: THE HOUE PHONE IS IN! IF YOU WANT TO GET ME, JUST BUZZ. YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL OUT IN THE HALL ANYMORE." Ralph comes back coughing. Ralph: "Dusty out in that hall." The house phone rings. The ring is not a ring at all. It's just a very loud buzzing noise. Ralph picks it up. It's Mrs. Manicotti. Ralph: "What do you mean I didn't fix your sink? When you were out last Sunday, I spent three hours fixing your sink. By the way, you could at least have the courtesy if you wanted me to fix your sink to take the dirty dishes out....Oh...All right." (to Alice): "I spent three hours fixing her kitchen sink and it was the bathroom sink that is broken." The house phone rings a second time. Ralph picks it up, but the house phone is still ringing, so Ralph hits the wall. D'oh! Not something that was in the script. I guess the reason why Jackie hit the wall with his hand was to tell the people in the control room to turn of the buzzing. Ralph: "What do you want Mrs. Fogarty? Someone's been emptying out your ice box? Why are you telling me for? You think I would do that?...Don't me a Wisenheimer, Mrs. Fogarty." Ralph hangs up and sits down, but it rings again. Ralph picks it up. Ralph: "No, Mrs. Schwartz. This is a house phone. You can't get Jersey on it." Ralph hangs up again and sits down only to be greeted by Ed, who looks like he's very sick. Ralph: "Can I get you anything?" Ed: "Yes! Water! Water! Water! I want water!" Ed complains that Ralph is the worst janitor yet and complains about him not taking his garbage out. Ralph: "I didn't do that because it's part of my efficiency system. Your trash can was only half-full. When it's full-full, then I will take it down. Then I will make one trip instead of two. Save a trip here- save a trip there, it all mounts up. Ed: "That's what I am afraid of. It's mounting up all over the building." Ed complains about his water pipes not being fixed. Ralph: "I will fix your water pipes tomorrow morning." Ralph then says: "One hand washes the other while both hands wash the face." Ed: "Just give me water. I know how to wash." He leaves. Ralph says the reason that he is fixing Ed's water pipes tomorrow is because tonight, a building inspector is coming to see the building tonight. The house phone rings again. Alice picks it up after Ralph refuses to pick it up. Alice hangs up and says: "That was Mr. Riley (or some man), he said: 'Eureka! My garbage can is full.'" Ha!
The next morning before he goes to drive a bus, Ralph is downstairs in the cellar, trying to find the solution to Ed's problems. Alice yells that it is almost 8am and he has to get to the bus company. Ed comes down. Ralph explains the situation to Ed. Ralph climbs between two big pipes to fix Ed's problem. He becomes stuck. (The pipes are close together and because of Ralph's weight, he becomes stuck.) The heat from the pipes is making him sweat, so he asks Ed to go into that little room that is one the left of the two pipes and turn the wheel against the wall. He does, but he makes it worse. Ralph (yells): "I SAID: 'TURN IT AGAINST THE WALL.'" Ed (yells): "THERE ARE FOUR WALLS." Gee, that was some help Ralph gave to Ed. Mrs. Manicotti comes down and sees that Ralph needs some help and yells: "OH MY GOODNESS! HELP! HELP!" She runs out to get help. Ed turns the wheel again and it comes off. Alice says to Ralph that it is 8am despite the fact that 10 minutes haven't passed since she said its 7:50am to Ralph a few minutes ago. The firemen come and try to rescue Ralph.
Later that day at home, the house phone rings and its Mr. Johnson. He is coming to see Ralph. Ralph (in his robe) comes out and says what happened this morning wasn't his fault. Alice: "Sure it wasn't Ralph. You were just doing your best impression of 10 pounds of bologna in a one pound bag." She said something like that. Ralph, regardless of what Ralph says, that he isn't quitting as janitor. He also can't believe what Ed did. (Ed sent out a petition to all the people in the building to fire him as janitor.) Mr. Johnson comes up. They talk and at the end of the short conversation, Ralph quits as janitor but says, if he doesn't have one, he will still do the job until he gets a replacement. He already got a new janitor: Ed Norton. Ralph (sits down): "No no no no." He can't believe Ed's been hired as the new janitor.
On a side note, in the Honeymooners Official Treasury Book, it says that the original script had the Kramdens moving into the janitor's apartment which was supposed to be street level but it was going to be similar to their apartment. The original script had the Kramdens dealing with trouble like living two steps away from the subway train, a very bad-looking floor etc. I wish Jackie didn't change the script as I think the original one was funnier. But, I can understand why since that would require a new set to be made as well as set changes.
Also of note, I recorded five episodes from the Honeymooners New Year's Day Marathon in 1997 and during the closing credits of one of them, a guy (I will call him the voice of WPIX or some stations that are owned by Tribune since he's been doing advertisements for WPIX and some of it's programming even when the channel was an independent channel as well as WGN) does a voice-over and plugs the upcoming episode in the marathon: "Dial J For Janitor." He says there's one moment in this episode that wasn't a part of the original script. At first, I assumed it was the scene where Ralph got caught in between the pipes (since Gleason was so fat back then) but I realized it was the scene where Ralph picked up the house phone and hit the wall with his hand because the buzzing "from" the phone was still being heard.
Episode #147 (Syndicated episode #39)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "A Matter of Record." On the Honeymooners Tape "Jealousy Loves Company", it is attached to "House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"), "Mama Loves Mambo", "Alice & The Blonde" & "The Babysitter."
Laserdisc: Attached to “Oh My Aching Back”, “The Babysitter”, “$99,000 Answer”, “Ralph Kramden Inc.”, “The Safety Award”, “Alice & The Blonde”, “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Mind Your Own Business”), “Dial J For Janitor” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #33 - 39 of the classic 39, with the original opening and closings of the show, along with an edited Honeymooners special that aired on CBS. Paramount edited the lost episode clips that were originally apart of this special. On the HD Blu-Ray set, it might be attached to either one or some of the following bonus material: The full, 1-hour musical special The Honeymooners: The Adoption from 1966, sponsor openings and closings for many episodes, 35th and 50th network TV anniversary specials and 60 Minutes profile with Jackie Gleason.
This is the last classic 39 episode ever made. But syndication shows these episodes out of order, so if you watched the Classic 39 on TV (except for WPIX), the last Classic 39 episode you will see is “Alice & The Blonde.” and that is because for some TV shows, the original airdates are episode numbers don’t match up.
To see the script for this episode, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-honeymooners-1955&episode=s04e39
Ralph & Ed have just been to a fight at the old MSG. Ed goes in to congratulate on of the fighters. Ralph waits outside and gets greeted by Alice's old friend and Ralph's old enemy, Bill Davis. They are friendly to each other. They reminisce about old times and how Bill wrote this in Ralph's old autograph book in school: "Some kids are small. Some kids are tall. Fatso Kramden is the only one who walks down the hall, Wall-to-Wall." Ed comes out and greets Bill. Bill says that he is doing fine. He is the owner of a big company in Chicago and has an office in Akron and he flew here by plane. Ralph says that he is in the transportation business and he runs things. Ed: "Every morning, he's in the driver's seat." Ralph doesn't tell Bill that he's a bus driver, but president of the Gotham Bus Company. Bill wants to see Ralph tomorrow at 8am, but Ralph says he has appointments. Ed: "Ralph is going to see loads of people." They make an appointment. Bill will see Ralph tomorrow at 6pm (that's the time everyone in the office leaves.) Bill leaves. Ralph explained that he lied to Bill because he wants Bill to know that he is successful and they both wanted Alice when they were young and promised her everything. Ed doesn't agree with the lying because a similar situation happened to him, but he told the guy that he was a sewer worker. The other guy’s job? A garbage collector. They leave.
The next evening, Mr. Mitchell (Ralph's boss & the owner of the company in this episode) announces to his wife that he has to work overtime (past 6pm). D'oh! This will be a surprise to Ralph. He goes into another room. Ralph comes in, sees a big empty chair and sits in it. He is surprised when he sees his boss. He then realizes Mr. Mitchell has to work late. They talk over Ralph's promotion (which he probably doesn't get as later episodes still depict him as a bus driver most of the time at least) & that Mr. Mitchell isn't in charge of promotions. Mr. Mitchell goes into another room and when Bill & Ed come in and see the office, Ralph tries to get them out before Mr. Mitchell sees them. Bill tells Ralph to relax and he can go back to work in a half-hour. Ralph says he can't because he has an appointment with Mr. Monohan and he can't break it. That is enough for Bill. He understands. He tries to get Ralph's number. Ralph says that it is unlisted (he doesn't want him to know that he uses Ed's phone). Ed gives him his number and Trixie, the maid will get it. Bill leaves with Ed. Ralph leaves, but when he gets his hat, Mr. Mitchell yells at him. He wonders why he's still here. Ralph says that he knows that he has to talk with someone else about promotions.
The next day, Alice gets a call from Bill. His flight has been canceled and he invited the Kramdens to a dinner at the Colonnade Room with his wife. When Ralph comes in, he gets a standing ovation from the audience despite the fact that he was in the two previous scenes, he gets told of the dinner invitation. Ralph, knowing that Bill will talk about Ralph's job that he (Bill) thinks he has will come up and tries to make several excuses to get out of it, but Alice hears nothing of it. Ralph hasn't told Alice what he told Bill about his job. Ed comes down. Ralph tells him the situation. He tries to get some excuses from Ed. Ed has one which goes something like: "Tell Alice that you have a new job. You are captain of a famous ship and it's sailing in 20 minutes." Ralph thinks that idea is crazy. Ralph: "Anybody who asks you for an idea must be stupid. Come on Norton, give me an idea." Basically, Ralph admitted that he is stupid. Ed can’t' come up with another one. Ralph then says to Ed to forget about it and that this mess was his fault. Ralph: "I am going to learn from here on in, how to swallow my pride." Ed: "That shouldn't be too hard. You learned how to swallow everything else." Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
At the restaurant, Ralph tries to stop Bill from talking about business. When he does, Ralph asks Alice for a dance. They go out to the dance floor (which is in another room). Bill then tells what he told Ralph and that he invited them to come. Bill's real job is revealed. It's an assistant plumber. Bill's wife says that they can't afford the dinner here for the four of them so Bill says that Ralph will pay for it because of the job he has. Ralph & Alice come back. Mambo music came on and Ralph says he can't dance to mambo music. Didn't he try to in "Mama Loves Mambo"? Bill asks to dance with his wife. They do. Ralph reveals to Alice what he told Bill. He says with the job that Bill has, he can pay for it. When Bill offers to pay the check, he will ask to pay the check and because of that, Ralph thinks Bill will pay for it. Bill and his wife come back. The waiter gives them the check. Ralph: "Now wait a minute Bill, I insist that I pay the check." Bill: "Okay Ralph." Ralph has a shocked look on his face. Bill expects Ralph to pay for the check and Ralph can't afford to pay for it. Ralph confesses the truth to Bill that he's a bus driver and not the owner of the bus company and the reason why he told him that was because after he heard what a nice job Bill has, he wanted to look good. Ralph says that it was his pride. Bill confesses the truth to Ralph. He's an assistant plumber and not a company with an office in Akron. He and his wife didn't come by plane, but by bus. He can't afford the check either. Everybody laughs because of the funny situation that they are in and each of them offer money to pay the check.
Credit goes to Yahoo! Groups You’re A Riot, honeymooners.net, the Lost Episodes DVD Booklet, John K’s Book To The Moon & tvshowsondvd.com & Bill's Mooners Archives.