View Full Version : A Honeymooners New Year's Day:


Frank Gannucci
12-29-2015, 09:15 AM
(The Kramdens, Nortons and Alice's parents just watched the ball drop.)

All (yell): "HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

(They all kiss and embrace their loved ones as "Alud Sang" plays.)

Ralph: "Alice, for my new Year's resolution, I will never argue with you and never show hostility toward your mother."

Alice: "Thank you Ralph."

(Ralph goes to Alice's mother.)

Ralph: "One of my New Year's resolutions is to never show hostility towards you."

Alice's Mom: "Thank you Sonny Boy."

(Later on, everyone is talking about New Year's resolutions.)

Ralph: "Another one of my resolutions is not too fly off the handle over the smallest things."

Ed: "That shouldn't be too hard for you. You can't even jump."

Ralph: "You are a riot Norton. A real riot."

Alice's Mom: "One of my New Year's resolutions is too exercise more something a certain one of us here won't do. Also, to cut down on eating. Another thing that someone else here won't do."

(Ralph Is visably upset.)

Alice: "I promise that I will run with you Ma at least once."

Alice's Mom: "Thank you. Too bad that Sonny Boy over there won't run. He would have a heart attack is he did."

(Ed laughs. He stops when Ralph gives him an angry look.)

Ralph: "Another pair of resolutions is to eat healthier and get in better shape."

(Alice's mother laughs.)

Ralph: "I mean it."

Alice's Mom (sarcastically): "Sure you will. Ralph, I can't see you in the gym. If you ran in the gym, would have a heart attack. When you do, the EMT'S can't save you. Your body will break the gourney."

(Ed laughs. He stops when Ralph gives him an angry look.)

Alice's Mom: "Also, another resolution and/or is to not reveal the ending of plays like in Murder Strikes Out 2. The ending was that the sister killed her brother."

(Ralph finally has enough.)

Ralph (YOU ARE A BLABERMOUTH. A BLABBERMOUTH. YOU...BLABBERMOUTH."

(chaos ensues. Everyone makes peace with each other.)

(Jack walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY 2016. THE MIAMI BEACE CROWDS ARE THE BEST!"