(All the Raccoons, including the Kramdens, Alice's parents and the Nortons , are at the Raccoon Headquarters for the Raccoon XMas party. They just heard the pitter patter of feet upstairs.)

Ed: "That must be Santa or an alien."

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

(Santa [Jackie Gleason in a dual role] comes in.)

Jackie: "HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Ralph: "Is that who I think it is?"

Ed: "Yeah, it's Jackie Gleason dressed as Santa. I wonder if he brought Sammy Spear with him."

Jackie: "How sweet it is! I just came from that fun and sun capital of the world, Miami Beach."

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "I have got some presents for everyone here. It's time to distribute the presents."

(Later on, everyone is exchanging their gifts that they bought.)

Ralph: "Here is your gift sweetheart."

(Alice opens it up.)

Alice: "Ralph, I love it. It's the best gift I ever gotten."

Ralph: "It's a diamond ring from Kay Jewelers. You know there saying: 'Every kiss begins with K.'"

(They kiss.)

Alice: "Here's your gift."

(Ralph opens it.)

Ralph: "It's a new bowling bag ball. I mean a new bowling ball bag."

(Trixie and Ed exchange their gifts.)

Trixie: "This is for you Ed."

(Ed opens it.)

Ed: "Hey, Trixie you are a lovely woman. I love the fact that you gave me some spats. The same gift I gave Ralph."

Ralph: "Yeah and I gave you another pair of SpongeBob Squarepants shorts along with a new Mickey Mouse ringer T-shirt that you can wear down in the sewer."

(Ed gives Trixie his gift.)

Trixie: "Ed, I love it. You gave me a diamond bracelet from Kay Jewelers. At least it wasn't another orange juice squeezer where you squeeze the orange on Napoloean's head and the juice squirts out of his ears."

Ed: "Hey, every kiss begins with Kay."

(The Nortons kiss.)

(Ralph gets up.)

Ralph: "I will say this again. I love saying this. Christmas is...well it's about the best time of the whole year. You walk down the streets even weeks before Christmas comes and there are lights hanging up – red ones and green ones. Sometimes there's snow. Everybody's hustling someplace. But they don't hustle around Christmas time like they usually do. You know, they're a little friendlier. They bump into you and they laugh and say 'Pardon me, Merry Christmas.' Well, maybe except if you got to Walmart."

(Crowd boos.)

Ralph: "Especially when it gets real close to Christmas night. Everybody's walking home – you can hardly hear a sound. Bells are ringing, kids are singing, and the snow is coming down and boy, what a pleasure it is to think that you got someplace to go to and the place you're going to has someone in it that you really love. Someone that you're nuts about. Merry Christmas!"

(They each kiss and hug their respective partners. The curtain starts to close but Jackie stops it.)

Jackie: "Ladies and gentlemen, we don't normally step out of character this way, but I want to change things up. Let's introduce every one of the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "And thanks to modern technology, you people at home saw me as Ralph on the left side and me dressed as Santa on the right. That technology didn't exist in the 50s and 60s. Well, all of us should sing: 'Jingle Bells.' Don't worry, unlike Mr. Sammy Spear, we won't sing the juvenille version."

(Everyone laughs.)

All (singing): "Dashing through the snow/In a one horse open sleigh/Over the fields we go/Laughing all the way (ha ha ha)/bells on bob tail ring/making spirits bright/what fun it is to laugh and sing a sleighing song tonight./ Oh jingle bells jingle bells/jingle all the way!/Oh what fun it is to ride and sing In a one horse open sleigh, Hey!/Jingle bells jingle bells/Jingle all the way!/Oh what joy it is to ride/in a one horse open sleigh./A day or two ago I thought I'd took a ride/and soon Miss Fannie Bright/seated by my side/the horse was lean and lank/misfortuned seemed his lot/he got into a drifted bank/and we we got upsot/oh jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way!/Oh what fun it is to ride/In a one horse open sleigh, Hey!/Jingle bells jingle bells Jingle all the way!/Oh what joy it is to ride/In a one horse open sleigh./A day of two ago/The story I must tell/I went out on the snow/And on my back I fell;/A gent was riding by in a one-horse open sleigh/he laughed a there I sprawling lie/but quickly drove away/Oh jingle bells jingle bells/jingle all the way!/Oh what fun it is to ride/In a one horse open sleigh, Hey!/Jingle bells jingle bells/Jingle all the way!/Oh what joy it is to ride/in a one horse open sleigh/the ground is white/go it while you're young/take the girls to night/and sing this sleighing song/just get a bob tailed bay/to forty as his speed/hitch him to an open sleigh/and crack you'll take the lead."

(Everyone cheers.)

Jackie (yells): "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! THE MIAMI BEACH AUDIENCES ARE THE GREATEST AUDIENCES IN THE WORLD."

(The crowd erupts with cheers.)

Credit for the lyrics goes to http://www.metrolyrics.com/jingle-be...as-carols.html