(The Kramdens and Nortons are watching the Columbus Day reenactment on the East River.)

Ralph: "I so wanted to be part of the Raccoon Columbus Day reenactment and play Christopher Columbus."

Alice: "Ralph, you couldn't be on that boat because everyone knew that if you were on that boat, the boat would sink."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

Alice: "I wonder what life was like sailing across the Atlantic."

Ralph: "People back than thought the world was flat. They thought that Chris would fall off the face of the Earth literally. If I was Chris, you would think that I was nuts."

Alice: "I would and I would be WRONG."

Ralph: "Just like you are all the time."

Ed: "I envy Chris having to sail along all that water that went into the sewer."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ed: "You think he got seasick?"

Trixie: "Ed, I don't think that he did."

Ralph: "I know that I never got seasick."

Ed: "What about the times that..."

Ralph (yells): 'SHUT UP NORTON!"

Alice: "This is a great holiday that is overshadowed by Halloween."

Ralph: "Halloween is a fun holiday. So is this holiday a little bit. Only because a lot of people have off. There are people who work in retail in New England that are not allowed to work in the mornings without state permission. That should be the same for everyone worldwide."

Ed: "Good thing that Chris discovered this country."

Ralph: "There would be no America if it wasn't for Christopher Columbus."

Alice: "There would be no Christopher Columbus if it wasn't for his mother."

Trixie: "Good response Alice."

Ralph: "That is true."

(They all sing a song about Columbus Day.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. I hope that everyone has a great Columbus Day."

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)