Post your favorite lines & quotes from I Love Lucy.


Ricky & Lucy quotes:

More Lucy & Ricky quotes:

Lucy & Ethel quotes:

Ethel - "So is everything okey dokey?
Lucy - "No, everything is inky stinky."

An Ethel quote: "Would you like a piece of rock, Mr. Candy?"

Ricky & Lucy quotes/lines:

Lucy lines/quotes:

An Ethel and Fred quote:

A Lucy quote:

"Take off your coat!. You look more ridiculous with it on than off." "Wanna bet?!" Ethel takes off her coat. Lucy: "You look like an ad for a trip around the world!"

"By the time they say Senior Shennigans at the Rapahannock School for Girls, the show will be over!"

"All the way to Hollywood it was Bill Holden, Bill Holden, Bill Holden! What happened?" Lucy: "I'm fickle?"

"Back to Gimbel's basement!"

"Paging Miss Ava Gardner......" "Sit down, Fred.....she's just people like you and me." "She may be people, but she's not like you and me!"

An Ethel quote/line:

A Lucy quote/line:

A Lucy quote:

Lucy Ricardo: This whole thing is Ricky's fault.

Ricky Ricardo: MY FAULT?

Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, if you hadn't have left Cuba to come to America, we wouldn't have gotten married and we never would've come to Switzerland in the first place.

A Fred & Lucy quote/line:

Lucy Ricardo: Hey, Ethel. Guess what Ricky got me!

Ethel Mertz: Um... let's see. A hat? A new dress?

Lucy Ricardo: Oh Ethel better! Think about what every woman wants from her husband!

Ethel Mertz: A divorce?

(Lucy's wearing a bull costume.)
Ethel: "Oh look! Now the bull is full of Lucy!"

Fred: "Ethel said my mother looks like a weasel."
Lucy: "Ethel say you're sorry."
Ethel: "I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel."

Lucy Ricardo: If some other woman were to take Fred away from you, you'd be singing a different tune, too.
Ethel Mertz: Yeah, "Happy Days Are Here Again"

Ricky: "Oh, Fred, that's wonderful."

Fred: "See you at recess, Rick. Last one on the teeter-totter's a rotten egg!"

Ricky: (to Percy)"I went to school in Cuba. What's your excuse?"

Lucy: "I would say 'okay,' that's a swell way to get off to a lousy start."

Ricky: "Derry dum, pip pip."
Lucy: "Dilly dilly day."
Ethel: "Hey nonny nonny."
Fred: "Rippity pippity ayy."

Ricky: "That's it, brother. I've had enough."

Lucy: "It was a battle of the accents, and Mister Livermore lost."

Ethel Mertz: I refuse to go anywhere with someone who thinks I am a hippopotamus.

Ethel: "Fred just told me he's going with Ricky, Monday!"

Lucy: "What, where?"

Ethel: "Wouldn't tell me where, bless his fat little heart!"

Lucy: "You mean he's been drafted?"

Ethel: "No! They're not that desperate! He must have enlisted."

A Lucy quote:

"Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's actin' crazy.
Fred Mertz: Crazy for Lucy, or crazy for ordinary people?"

A Lucy quote:

Lucy Ricardo: No, just the same as any other day: after breakfast, I put on his snow suit. I pull on his galoshes. I slip on his mittens. I walk him to the park. He chases the pigeons. I chase after him.

A Lucy quote:

Ricky Ricardo: I can't afford it.

Lucy Ricardo: Those must have been the first English words you learned.

Ricky and Fred catch Lucy and Ethel, dressed in fancy negligees, in a man's hotel room.
Ricky: "Lucy! You - here- Dressed like this. Are you out of your mind?"
Fred: "Ethel! You - here - Dressed like this. Is HE out of his mind ??!!!"

Lucy Ricardo: (listening to a doctor's diagnosis) I got the Gobloots from a Blu-Shoo bird?

Lucy: "Here I am with all this talent bottled up inside of me and you're always sitting on the cork."

Ethel Mertz: I refuse to go anywhere with someone who thinks I am a hippopotamus.

Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, is this true?

Lucy Ricardo: No, I just implied that she was a little hippy... though she has got the biggest potamus I've ever seen.

Lucy: "Hey, Ethel. Guess what Ricky got me!"
Ethel: "Um... let's see. A hat? A new dress?"
Lucy: "Oh Ethel better! Think about what every woman wants from her husband!"
Ethel: "A divorce?"

Lucy Ricardo: What are you? The Cuban television network?

Ricky Ricardo: Yes. CBS. The Cuban Broadcasting System.

Ricky: "All I know is Columbus discovered Ohio in 1776."

Ricky Ricardo: Fred, how often is Ethel's checking account overdrawn?
Fred Mertz: Never.

Ethel Mertz: Rome wasn't built in a day.

Fred Mertz: Well, Rome wasn't built like you either.

Ethel Mertz: [does not believe that Lucy got her black eye when Ricky accidentally tossed her a book with poor aim, and suspects abuse instead] This is Ethel, your friend, to whom you may turn in time of crisis.

Lucy Ricardo: Ethel, have you been drinking?

Lucy Ricardo: Oh, Fred, I didn't know you had a birthday coming up.

Ricky Ricardo: When is it, Fred?

Fred Mertz: Week from Thursday.

Lucy Ricardo: How old are you gonna be?

Fred Mertz: [changing the subject] D'ja hear about the big robbery last night?

Lucy Ricardo: Come on, Fred, don't be bashful, how old are you?

Fred Mertz: Well, now, I'll make a deal. I'll tell how old I am if you'll tell how old you are.

Lucy Ricardo: That was a big robbery we had last night, wasn't it!

Ricky Ricardo: Who's that?

Fred Mertz: Who's that? WHAT'S that?

Fred Mertz: She said my mother looks like a weasel.
Lucy Ricardo: Ethel, apologize.
Ethel Mertz: I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel.

Ricky: Honey, please, you're holding up the game.

Lucy: Well, I can't decide whether to throw away my two queens or my three kings.

Lucy quote:

Lucy Ricardo: Will you at least wait for us?

Bus Driver: Go ahead. TRY me.

Lucy Ricardo: Go ahead. Try me.

[Lucy was imitating the angry bus driver]

A Ethel quote:

[Lucy and Ethel come out from the kitchen; Ricky and Fred stand up]

Lucy Ricardo: What's the matter? What are you standing up for?

Ricky Ricardo: Because two gorgeous ladies entered the room.

Lucy Ricardo: They did? Where?

Ethel Mertz: They mean us.

Lucy Ricardo: Oh! You great big latin lover you!

Ethel Mertz: If I let my hair go like that you'd never let me hear the end of it.
Fred Mertz: Honeybunch, if the rest of you looked like that I wouldn't care if you were bald.

[while Lucy is trying out the new mind reading act at Ricky's club:]

Mindreader's assistant: What is your date of birth?

Lucy Ricardo: August 6th.

Mindreader's assistant: August 6th what?

Lucy Ricardo: August 6th period.

Fred Mertz: [working in a diner] Adam and Eve on a raft. Wreck'em!

Ricky Ricardo: (losing his temper after Lucy screwed up his chance to be in a Broadway Play) You did what?

Lucy Ricardo: I was only trying to help.

Ricky: That's the reason I married you - because you're so different than anyone I've known in Cuba.
Lucy: Who'd you know in Cuba?

Ethel Mertz: What's the matter?

Lucy Ricardo: You're looking at a future doornail.

Ethel Mertz: Huh?

Lucy Ricardo: Ricky just tried to kill me.

Ethel Mertz: [smiling] Really? Then I'm a better fortune teller than I thought!

Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's been acting strange lately!

Fred Mertz: Strange? How can you tell?

Ethel Mertz: Let's let Ms. Trumble get a load of us.

Lucy Ricardo: Nurtz to Mertz

Lucy Ricardo: Ah, that must be my good friend Ethel. Don't get up Fredrick, I'll get it.

Fred Mertz: Get it? I was gonna lock it!

Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, were you snooping?

Lucy Ricardo: Yes I was a bad girl and you can spank me tomorrow if there's anything left to spank!

Lucy Ricardo: Lets see, it was either the upstairs maid or the butler
Ricky Ricardo: It was her husband
Lucy Ricardo: Her husband? He didn't have any reason to do it
Ricky Ricardo: He was married wasn't he

Ethel & Fred quotes:

Ricky Ricardo: Hey, Lucy, did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Lucy Ricardo: I'll bet some heel started it.
Ricky Ricardo: You're supposed to say, What happened?
Lucy Ricardo: What's that?
Ricky Ricardo: What happened?
Lucy Ricardo: 200 soles were lost.

Lucy Ricardo: Well, I'm your Vitavigavegivat Girl. Are you tired, run down, listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular?

Lucy Ricardo: Hello, this is the Ajax Salvage Company. We buy old glass, I understand you have some rings that you're interested in selling.

Ricky Ricardo: [while Lucy thinks that Ricky is going into the army while Ricky thinks Lucy is pregnant]
Ricky Ricardo: Me daddy?
Fred Mertz: Yes. You, daddy. Lucy, mommy. Me, Tarzan.

.

Lucy Ricardo: Ethel was just up here and she made me so darn mad.
Ricky Ricardo: What now?
Lucy Ricardo: She said they're going to hold us to our lease. We have to pay them five month's rent before we can leave. I guess we're stuck here.
Ricky Ricardo: Well, now, that all depends.
Lucy Ricardo: On what?
Ricky Ricardo: On whether we can break the lease or not. We are going to become the two most unpleasant, disagreeable nasty people in the whole world.
Lucy Ricardo: How?
Ricky Ricardo: We'll force ourselves.

Lucy Ricardo: It's seventy-nine cents a pound.
Customer: How can you sell meat so cheap?
Lucy Ricardo: I'm glad you asked that. We rope, we brand, we butcher. We do everything but eat it for you. Seventy-nine cents a pound.

Ricky Ricardo: Now look, Lucy, we're not going to go over all this again. You cannot be in the show.

Lucy Ricardo: Give me one good reason.

Ricky Ricardo: You have no talent.

Lucy Ricardo: Give me another good reason.

Lucy Ricardo: I made a funny?

Ethel Mertz: Gee, this high altitude sure gives me an appetite.
Fred Mertz: What's your excuse at sea level?

Ricky Ricardo: What do you want me to do, starve to death?

Lucy Ricardo: Would you, please?

Lucy: I saw them last month in Harper's Bazaar.
Ethel: Well they're certainly bizarre!

Ricky Ricardo: Have you ever heard Lucy sing?

Fred Mertz: No.

Ricky Ricardo: Our fighting men have been through enough.

Lucy gets too close to the fireplace]

Lucy: Ow!

Mr. Maryweather: What's the matter?

Lucy: I burned myself. It's awfully hot here.

Mr. Maryweather: Oh, that's where you are! Oh Tilly, I'm so disappointed in you.

Ricky Ricardo: Aw, honey, I don't care anything about that new dancer.

Lucy Ricardo: Hah!

Ricky Ricardo: Aw, honey, you can trust me.

Lucy Ricardo: I can, huh?

Ricky Ricardo: Why sure. I'm as faithful as an old dog.

Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, old Rover!

Lucy Ricardo: If some other woman were to take Fred away from you, you'd be singing a different tune, too.
Ethel Mertz: Yeah, "Happy Days Are Here Again".

Ricky Ricardo: (discussing operetta Lucy wrote, but does not know she wrote it) Who wrote this thing, anyway?

Lucy Ricardo: Who wrote it? Have you ever heard of George Gershwin?

Ricky Ricardo: Yeah.

Lucy Ricardo: Well alright then.

[Lucy joins Ricky's poker game]
Lucy: [looks at cards] My, this is a problem.Ricky: Honey, please, you're holding up the game.Lucy: Well, I can't decide whether to throw away my two queens or my three kings.

Ethel Mertz: If I let my hair go like that you'd never let me hear the end of it.

.

Lucy: It's my mad money.
Ricky: There's over $200 here.
Lucy: Well, I get awfully mad.

:)

“Mr. Merriweather: My horoscope says no more business after noon today.

Lucy Ricardo: Oh, you follow horoscopes?

Mr. Merriweather: Yes! I'm Scorpio.

Lucy Ricardo: I'm Taurus.

Ricky Ricardo: I'm cooked.”

Ethel: Oh just wait until Mickey Richardson hears about this!

Don't ask questions, just get a knife and a fork and a bottle of ketchup and follow me to the biggest barbecue in the whole world.

— Lucy Ricardo

Ricky: How do spell "s'perience"?
Lucy: E-x-p...
Ricky: E-x? You're kidding?

Mr. Merriweather: My horoscope says no more business after noon today.

Lucy Ricardo: Oh, you follow horoscopes?

Mr. Merriweather: Yes! I'm Scorpio.

Lucy Ricardo: I'm Taurus.

Ricky Ricardo: I'm cooked.

Lucy: "This is my system for paying bills. See, I throw 'em all up in the air, and those that land face-up are the winners!"

Peggy: Ricky's middle aged. He must be pushing 23.
Lucy Ricardo: Yeah he's pushing 23 alright. He's pushed it all the way to 35.

Ethel:

Ricky Ricardo: Well, how does it feel to be married to an also been?

Ethel Mertz: An 'also been'?

Lucy Ricardo: He means a has ran.

[Lucy accidentally sneezes]
Mr. Maryweather: Tilly! Tilly, is that you?
Lucy: Yes, it's me Tilly.
Mr. Maryweather: But Tilly, that sneeze. Are you sick?
Lucy: Sick? I'm dead!
Mr. Maryweather: Oh, that's right.

Mr. Merriweather: My horoscope says no more business after noon today.

Lucy Ricardo: Oh, you follow horoscopes?

Mr. Merriweather: Yes! I'm Scorpio.

Lucy Ricardo: I'm Taurus.

Ricky Ricardo: I'm cooked.

Lucy: Now, Ethel, give me one good reason why you should do the female lead instead of me.

Ethel: You can't carry a tune.

Lucy: Well! If you're going to get petty about it.

Lucy:

Lucy Ricardo: Hello, I'm looking for Risky Riskardo.

Ricky Ricardo: Oh, well I'm Ricky Ricardo.

Lucy Ricardo: Oh nice to meet you, do you know where I can find Risky Riskardo?

Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, if I so much as see your face at Romanov's, I'm gonna wrap you up in brown paper and mail you back to New York. And that's an ultimatum.
Ethel Mertz: An ultimatum? I'm not surprised.
Lucy Ricardo: I am. I didn't think he knew how to pronounce it.

Ricky Ricardo: Now look, Lucy, we're not going to go over all this again. You cannot be in the show.

Lucy Ricardo: Give me one good reason.

Ricky Ricardo: You have no talent.

Lucy Ricardo: Give me another good reason.

Ricky:

Lucy: "There's just two things keeping me from dancing in that show."

Fred Mertz: "Your feet?"

Ricky Ricardo: I was clearing out the desk and I found this.

Lucy Ricardo: Why, it's our marriage license.

Ricky Ricardo: Yeah.

Lucy Ricardo: Well, what's the matter? Don't tell me it's expired!

Ethel:

Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, you remember that old saying, 'birds of a feather smell the same'?

Lucy Ricardo: You mean 'a rose by any other name flocks together'?

Ricky Ricardo: [Thinks a moment] Yeah.

(Last line of the series.)
Lucy: "Shoot, if you must, this old redhead."

Radio announcer:
And now for the latest bulletin in the Evelyn Holmby case. Police believe that Evelyn Holmby, famous gray haired hatchet murderess, who escaped from New York State Prison, Thursday, to be heading south in a cream colored convertible coupe. Now back to our regular program. [Lucy turns off the radio]

Ethel Mertz:
What'd you turn it off for?

Lucy Ricardo:
Did you hear what he said?

Ethel Mertz:
Yeah so what?

Lucy Ricardo:
Which way are we heading?

Ethel Mertz:
South.

Lucy Ricardo:
Exactly. Gray haired, cream colored convertible.

Ethel Mertz:
Oh Lucy, that's just a coincidence.

Lucy Ricardo:
But think, it all fits. Likes to drive around in the dark, won't stop at motels, uses back roads. Just why do you suppose she uses back roads?

Ethel Mertz:
She told us, to save time.

Lucy Ricardo:
Oh sure, she uses back roads to avoid the police!

Ethel Mertz:
Oh Lucy, the woman they're looking for is a hatchet murderess. She doesn't look like a...

Lucy Ricardo, Ethel Mertz:
Hatchet!

Ethel Mertz:
We're just jumping to conclusions. She brought the hatchet along to uh... to uh...

Lucy Ricardo:
To what? Chop watercrest? Ethel that woman definitely has a criminal face. She's REALLY that Evelyn Holmby the police are looking for.

Ethel Mertz:
No!

Lucy Ricardo:
Yes! And we've got to make a break for it.

Lucy:

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8f/e8/f8/8fe8f8b3e46c042e4f3947d257307df2.jpg

Ricky & Lucy:

Lucy: [talking to Ethel about Ricky] He's put his foot down so many times, I feel like I'm married to a Cuban centipede.

Fred Mertz:
[working in a diner] Adam and Eve on a raft. Wreck'em!

Superman and Lucy:

Lucy Ricardo:
Will you at least wait for us?

Bus Driver:
Go ahead. TRY me.

Lucy Ricardo:
Go ahead. Try me. [Lucy was imitating the angry bus driver]

Ricky: "This whole thing is my fault. Something I said that started this whole mess."

Lucy: "What's that?"

Ricky: "I do."

Ricky Ricardo:
How do spell s'perience?

Lucy Ricardo:
E-x-p

Ricky Ricardo:
E-x? You're kidding.

Ethel:

Lucy & Ethel:

“Lucy Ricardo: Well it all started when I was a little girl. I was riding around on the streetcar and I looked up and there was a box and it said take one. So I took one.

Dr. Tom Robinson: Well there was nothing wrong with that.

Lucy Ricardo: Oh yes there waaaas. From then on, I took anything that came into my pretty hands, even though it didn't say take one. I took a bright new penny, I took a bicycle, I took a little boy!

Dr. Tom Robinson: You took a little boy?

Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, but my mother made me give him back!”

Ricky & Lucy:

“Don't ask questions, just get a knife and a fork and a bottle of ketchup and follow me to the biggest barbecue in the whole world.”
— Lucy Ricardo

Lucy:

“Well, whatever happened to that game we used to play before television was invented? It was called ‘conversation.'” — Lucy

Lucy and Ethel:

Lucy:

Passenger and Lucy:

Ethel & Lucy:

Ricky:

Lucy:

“I’ve always prided myself on knowing when to get off, and I hope it works out that way."

Lucy:

Ethel: (to Lucy)"I come to you... As a shoulder on which you can cry in times of crisis."
Lucy: "Well."

Lucy Ricardo: Will you at least wait for us?
Bus Driver: Go ahead. TRY me.
Lucy Ricardo: Go ahead. Try me.