(Ralph & Ed are going to Jackson Hewitt.)

Ralph: "Good thing we are doing to Jackson Hewitt at Sears to get our taxes done."

Ed: "Unlike previous years where we strained or brains."

Ralph: "If people heard you say Norton that you have a brain, they won't believe you."

Ed: "I'm a regular sewerworker Socrates."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "The nerve of Alice saying that we are dumb for doing this on April 15th. I told her that we are busy men. After all, we work, we have to go bowling, Raccoon Lodge meetings, eat, watch TV. After all, we are busy."

Ed: "With you, you are especially busy eating. Hahaha!"

Ralph: "Oooooh, you are a riot Norton. Time for us to board the subway."

(They find out that the subways aren't working.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, THE SUBWAYS ARE DOWN. WE GOT TO RUN TO TAKE THE BUSES OR TAXIS."

Ed: "With you running, our chances of getting the taxes done are bad."

Ralph (yells): "OOOOOH."

(They run onto the street to find out that there is a traffic jam that is HUGE.)

Ralph: "We are doomed."

Ed: "I got an idea. We will go to Sears by sewer. I know of the manhole that pops up right in front of there."

(They go into the sewer. When they run into Sears to get their taxes done, they get strange looks from shoppers due to them being soaking wet.)

Ed: "We can explain people. I work in the sewer..."

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

Man on PA (yells): "ATTENTION SEARS SHOPPERS. THE STORE IS NOW CLOSED. IT IS 9PM. PLEASE MAKE ALL YOUR FINAL PURCHASES AND WE THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT SEARS."

(Ralph looks like he is going to faint.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, LET'S SWIM TO THE CLOSEST JACKSON HEWITT OFFICE...NOWWWWW!"

(They run out. They get to the Jackson Hewitt office. Ralph looks like he is about to faint due to the running.)

Man: "You are just in time people. Sir, I hope you didn't strain yourself by running. Looking at you, all that running can't be good for you. Why are you two wet?"

Ed: "I work in the sewer..."

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

Ed: "Don't worry about Ralph. He needs to run."

(Ralph elbows Ed harder.)

(Soon, they leave.)

Ralph: "Norton, we are winners. Both of us are getting a one cent refund."

Ed: "Should we wait until the last minute next year."

Ralph: "Of course. We are under our best under pressure. Procastination rules."

(They sing a song about the IRS.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT."

(Crowd cheers.)