(Ralph & Ed are at Sears.)

Ed: "Boy, this was a smart idea of yours Ralph to take advantage of the President's Day sale."

Ralph: "I wonder if this is what Washington thought of when he made President's Day."

Ed: "If they were alive, they would probably be shopping."

Ralph: "Yeah. Hahahaha. Boy, I wonder what Barack Obama is doing this President's Day."

Ed: "Maybe he is at his local Sears store."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "Norton, you are a stupe. He would never be shopping by himself. He would have the Secret Service with him. We should be very happy about well most of our Presidents. Most of them at least made this country as great as it is."

Ed: "Yeah our Raccoon President has made America great."

Ralph: "I don't mean that. I mean the U.S. Presidents."

Ed: "Oh."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "What Presidents we had and have. I can only imagine what would happen if a BUM dictator came in and overturned our government. I would leave for higher ground than be ruled by a dictator."

Ed: "Me too."

Ralph: "With a President that promotes freedom, we can be FREE."

Ed: "Oh yes. All of us here love America."

Ralph: "We love the fact that America has a town like Miami Beach. The Fun and Sun Capital of the World."

(Crowd cheers.)

Ed: "As well as the fact that the country has clean sewers."

(Ralph rolls his eyes again.)

Ralph: "Our Presidents have made America great."

(They sing a song about America with shoppers and salespeople [June Taylor Dancers] dancing in the background.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT."

(Audience cheers.)