Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

(WPIX) & (WPIX HD (aka CWHD))

(CC?)

All times are Eastern.

Sat. Feb. 14, 2015 11p #010 (aka #119) - "Hello Mom": Ralph and Alice Kramden (Jackie Gleason, Audrey Meadows) squabble over the impending arrival of Ralph's mother-in-law in this classic, and ultimately touching, episode. The king is told that his castle is soon to be invaded by Alice's mom. Ralph painfully remembers how his mother-in-law said at his wedding, "I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a ton," and refuses to let her visit. But when Alice stands up to him and insists her mother's coming, Ralph decides to move in with the Nortons until the visit's over. Humor and poignancy meet in a conclusion that once again shows Alice, who sees beyond Ralph's insecurities, to be the bigger person.

11:30p #011 (aka #119) - "The Deciding Vote": Ralph's in a tight two-man election for the position of Raccoon convention manager and the deciding vote belongs to Norton. The episode contains a classic sight gag involving Ralph trying to clean a vacuum cleaner after it has failed "the oatmeal test."

Sun. Feb. 15, 2015 11p #012 (aka #120) - "Something Fishy": "I catch the fish," Ralph tells Alice, "you cook the fish. The only time we're together is when we eat the fish." Alice, however, has other ideas about Ralph and his lodge brothers worming their way out of taking the wives on the annual fishing trip. Ralph and Norton are desperate, so they angle for a way to leave Alice and Trixie behind.

11:30p #013 (aka #121) - "'Twas The Night Before XMas": The Kramdens exchange presents in a Christmas episode with an O. Henry twist. Ralph is particularly proud of the gift he has for Alice: a hairpin box made of 2000 matchsticks that, he's been told, was smuggled from the palace of the Emperor of Japan. DON'T MISS - This classic retelling of "The Gift of the Magi."

Sat. Feb. 21, 2015 11p #014 (aka #122) - "The Man From Space": Intending to take home first prize at the Raccoon Lodge's costume ball, Ralph---unable to wangle a loan from Norton---puts together his own costume and dubs himself "The Man From Space" in a memorable episode that was originally telecast Dec. 31, 1955. Angry with Norton (who's going as the Frenchman who "built the sewers of Paris") and obsessed with winning, Ralph appropriates an assortment of household items---including a faucet, a pot, a radio tube and the icebox door---to create a costume that will, he says, make Norton's rented outfit look like "a piece of French cheesecloth." The episode contains a classic example of Jackie Gleason's gift for ad-libbing when, unexpectedly; a piece of Ralph's costume falls off. "Let me have that," he improvises to Alice. "That's my denaturizer."

11:30p #015 (aka #123) - "A Matter of Record": In "A Matter of Record" (originally telecast Jan. 7, 1956), Ralph surprises Alice with tickets to a hit Broadway mystery, but with her mother coming "all the way from Bensonhurst" for a visit, she won't go. " Where's Bensonhurst, in New Zealand or something?" Ralph snaps back, upset that Alice is forsaking him for a visit from his nemesis. "She won't be in this apartment three minutes before she starts an argument," Ralph says. With that, Alice's mother arrives and Ralph proceeds to set an alarm clock for three minutes. Sure enough, she quickly insults Ralph about his weight, chides Alice for not marrying "a good provider" and, as the final straw, spills the beans about the ending of the play. Just as the alarm clock rings, Ralph erupts ("You are a blabbermouth!") and throws his mother-in-law out. But Alice leaves with her, prompting Ralph to take Norton's suggestion and record an apology to Alice in hopes of winning her forgiveness.

Sat. Feb. 22, 2015 11p #016 (aka #124) - "Oh My Aching Back": After telling Alice he was too tired to leave the apartment, Ralph---on the eve of his company physical---goes bowling, throws his back out and comes home hunched over, and looking, Norton says, like "the leaning tower of pizza."

11:30p #017 (aka #125) - "The Baby-sitter": Ralph signals his displeasure when he learns that Alice had a telephone installed in the apartment. Then later, when he calms down, he overhears a telephone conversation and thinks that she is having an affair.

Credit goes to zap2it.com, the Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, tvguide.com, the old honeymooners.net, imdb.com, tvland.com & John K's Book To The Moon.

Now on for my skit:

(Ralph comes home with a huge Vermont Teddy Bear, a box of chocolates and roses.)

(Unbeknownst to Ralph, Ed comes in.)

Ed (yells): "HEY RALPH-IE BOY!"

Ralph (scared, yells): "ARRRRGH!" (sees Ed): "What is the matter with you? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

Ed: "Sorry Ralph. With your condition, you are prime for a heart attack."

Ralph: "Oooooh, you are going to get it Ed."

Ed: "I see your gift to Alice."

Ralph: "This is a Vermont Teddy Bear."

Ed: "Vermont? You should have given her a Florida Teddy Bear."

Ralph: "I would but they are not available. I hope that they would make a Miami Beach Teddy Bear. Those bears would be the greatest bears in the world."

(Crowd cheers.)

Ed: "What happened to that last Vermont Teddy Bear that you gave her?"

Ralph: "Someone lost it."

Ed: "Who?"

Ralph: "Never mind."

Ed: "I gave Trixie a Vermont Teddy Bear but unfortunately it became so water logged that she didn't want it. No biggie. I use it to clog up leaks."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

(Alice comes home.)

Ralph: "Alice?"

Alice: "Hi boys. Ralph, is that my present?"

Ralph: "You bet."

Alice: "These roses and that bear is beautiful. Thank you very much."

Ed: "Where are you two going tonight?"

Alice: "We will see Fifty Shades of Gray."

Ed: "Me and Trixie are going to have a romantic dinner."

Ralph: "Where?"

Ed: "Burger King."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ed: "Don't laugh. I love getting those toys that BK sells."

(Trixie comes down.)

Trixie: "Ed, time for us to go. I love the gift you gave me Ed. It was a box of chocolates and roses as well as a Vermont Teddy Bear."

Ralph: "I see that we gave our wives the same thing. It doesn't matter. It's Valentine's Day."

(They all sing a song about Valentine's Day.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Happy Valentine's Day."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Folks, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)