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I wish you success too in 2015 :) . Dont get too hung up about being unemployed, the economy has been a killer in many places...... you are well educated and soon enough someone will recognize your potential ....just keep screaming till they hear you out :) :thumbsup: :santa:

what was ur major?

I feel your pain Reb.

The economy hit us hard too. We lost our jobs, house, and 3 paid off old cars in 2007 and 2008. My husband found a job, but I have not been able to find anything that pays me enough to even pay for the fuel and insurance on an old junk car just so that I can get to work.

We rented a house for a while, things got worse, my husband's boss stole over $20,000 from us in a year by diverting some of my husband's pay into a fake department that only he had access to. We went without heat for three weeks that winter. When we finally got the salary theft handled, they paid us back in a check that was highly taxed as if he made that much every month, so we got only half the money back.

My parents owned a nice house that was mostly vacant, since they spent winters in florida. They offered to let us live there rent free and our expenses would be property taxes, utilities, maintenance, etc. (That turned into a three year nightmare where they ended up living in the house with us, 6 adults, for almost the entire three years, and I was the sole cook, cleaner, etc, because my husband was commuting 160 miles a day at a 12-14 hour per day job, my son was working two jobs, and my daughter was in school and then got married and moved out. On top of the other expenses and manual labor, they demanded rent and that we buy almost all their food.)

We couldn't save money and were still working on restoring our credit so we could move into our own home again, which we finally did nearly two years ago. It ruined my parents' relationship with me, their only child, and their grandkids, who resented how they treated us, even calling my husband a f***up. Which he definitely is not. He's worked his whole life and is actually the number one person in the US, year after year, in a subsegment of his field.

We were unable to pay for university for our children, but we eventually were able to send our daughter to community college. We can't afford to send our son and he's not interested in furthering his education so he doesn't mind.

He started his own small business when he was 14 and it ran in the black every year except for 2013 and 2014. His other job is a part time position he's held since he was 18. He's now 27. He basically manages shipping and receiving at his place of business, but is not getting paid to do the job. Last year, they trained him, saying they were going to move him into the management position, but instead, his boss is on constant vacation and my son has to do the boss's job and manage his coworkers as if they were his employees. We're in a state (michigan) that was one of the first and hardest hit with unemployment and economic problems. My son is stuck in that low paying job because they're are no alternatives right now, even though he has nearly 10 years experience and marketable skills.

What we ended up doing was the three of us bought a house together. My son doesn't date and doesn't plan to get married and since he's hardly home, paying for an apartment would be a waste because he'd just be there to sleep. We informally split expenses and chores and that arrangement has worked out great for all three of us.

Well, there's a whole book I've written but I wanted to let you know that I get exactly what you're saying about your unpleasant living conditions and lack of job opportunities. It took years for us, but it finally got a lot better. I'm hoping things will soon get better for you, too.

Life is unfair and honesty, dedication, and hard work are promoted as if they guaranteed success and security until people believe them and then find out they do not!

RebZissel,

I feel your pain! I got fired from a ****ty job, then couldn't find a job for the next 18 months. I applied for jobs almost daily - for jobs I didn't want, jobs I knew wouldn't pay enough, jobs that I didn't qualify for, jobs that I desperately wanted, etc. I didn't get many interviews, so I took my resume to the Department of Labor to review, and had them do mock interviews with me. Basically, they told me my resume looked good but that I lacked confidence in interviews. Well, after interviewing and not getting even the barely minimum wage jobs time and time again, who would have confidence?

In the mean time, I had to deal with snide remarks from people constantly. My mom told me that I didn't have to only apply for dream jobs. If she only know how many of those jobs I truly did not want for one reason or another! A friend said that there must be something wrong with me if an employer wouldn't hire me after looking for so long. Someone else said that I must not be looking all that hard because if I truly wanted a job, I would be able to find one fairly quickly.

I finally decided to go to college. I work part time while attending school full time. What I make is not enough to cover living expenses, so I have to borrow extra financial aid to cover school and bills. Even that though isn't always enough. I've wracked up quite the high monthly payments on my credit card just struggling to survive.

I graduate in May, and am just praying that I'll find a good job. I worry about being able to pay back student loans, mortgage, credit card, and other monthly bills. I know sooooooooo many students before me who have graduated and aren't working in the field of their major. I don't want that to be the case for me. I pray for a good job where I can pay my bills, and maybe even have a tiny bit left over once in awhile for unexpected expenses.

I wish you lots of luck, and will keep you in my prayers. Hopefully 2015 will be a banner year for both of us.

I wish everyone a prosperous 2015! :cool: 2014 was tough for a lot of people I know.

Unemployment sucks the fun out of everything.

So, so true! I hated weekends and holidays too. They didn't mean anything anymore - they were just another day to me. Now that I'm in school, they mean the world to me. But once I've graduated and looking for work, I'll be right in the same situation I was in before.

Hopefully we'll both find jobs in 2015.

Happy New Year, everyone.

RebZissel, good luck to you. I'm between jobs myself now (just got a second interview, so fingers crossed). I worked really hard in college and managed to snag a job after graduation as an English teacher in a foreign country. Whenever I contacted friends from home, they were mentioning their struggle to find good jobs. I decided to come back after two years, and now I know how they feel. I've been unemployed for five months. I'm applying to graduate school despite getting a lot of discouragement from people, as I have a good chance of getting funding. If I get accepted, I'm going to do everything I can while there to try and gain experience and connections so I won't have to worry about unemployment after getting out.

I am so frustrated by the whole "You need experience for this job, but you need a job for experience" debacle. Especially because so many employers want multiple years of experience for entry-level jobs! I know people who have applied for literally hundreds of jobs only to find nothing or ones with mediocre pay. I don't know your field, but I'm in the arts myself. I've definitely heard the "ha, you're never going to find anything" snark before. I put those people in their place when I got my teaching job and I'm determined to do it again. It's hard for everyone now. I know STEM majors and business admin majors who are struggling now. It really, really sucks.

Here's hoping 2015 is much better. Good luck to you, too, sprinkles.

Thank you, WishfulDreamer!

I know exactly what you mean about needing experience, but not being to get a job to gain that experience! I've been through that as well.

I had one internship last semester and thought I'd be able to network there. Unfortunately, that didn't work out quite as well as I'd hoped. I recently had an interview for a new internship for the upcoming semester. It did not go well. It was very intense, and none of my answers seemed to be the correct one. At one point, I wondered to myself why the lady was continuing with the interview because it was so obvious that I would not be getting the internship - especially after any confidence I may have had prior to the interview left when I was asked a simple question and could not answer it because my mind went completely blank! The lady interviewing me became condescending and things were very uncomfortable from there on out. However, a senator I'd worked with very indirectly at my first internship called the interviewer on my behalf, and I don't know if he bribed her or what, but she offered me the position! This will be excellent experience and I should hopefully be able to network more there.

Hopefully this lady will be a lot nicer to work for than she was to interview with. I do remember one interview I had with a very kind woman a few years ago. She told me that not only should I be on my very best behavior during an interview, so should the person doing the interview. After all, you want to be hired and the employer wants you to want to work for them. If they aren't on their best behavior, she remarked, "Would you really want to work for them? The way they behave can be a huge indicator of what they'd be like to work for!"

I'm considering grad school too. I worry about incurring so much student loan debt though. I have applied for several scholarships, but haven't had any luck. My school is offering an accelerated one year masters program for my major. I kind of just want a break from school, but I need to decide soon because the program will only be available right after graduation. If I don't do it then, then I can't do the accelerated program. I will look into it further before making any final decisons.

I wish you and RebZissel lots of luck too!

The real world is not what I envisioned.

I believe that the most important thing a society needs is an abundant source of job opportunities. People need to earn well to live well.

Not only do people need to make enough to meet living expenses and be able to save, they need something interesting to do to feel useful!

There are not enough jobs for everyone.

Because they are either not getting done, or machines are doing them. Just sayin'.

I used to read voraciously, but now I am too down to actually read.

You know, being informed is great - but what difference does it make when you still can't pay your student loans or live on your own?

When I would travel, I would see professionals with The Economist or some newspaper in their hands with a smile. I wonder - if those same people didn't work would they still have the motivation to read?

It's also hard to smile. I have nothing to smile about. I am grumpy but who would be happy after 18 months of unemployment.

I hate weekends. People who work Monday-Friday, for them Friday 5pm is a holy time. It's the beginning of the weekend. Two and a half days of fun and relaxation.

For me, I hate it. No one posts jobs on weekends. HR departments are closed so I won't hear back from anyone.

I no longer care about holidays. On New Year's eve, I went to bed a bit after midnight upset and worried about the new year.

Unemployment sucks the fun out of everything.

Audiobooks sometimes work, if, for instance, you can wash dishes or some such "errand" job ALONE out of earshot of others and enjoy listening!

As to the employment situation in Australia, I am mostly ignorant but I heard most available jobs are for service industries--the country is mostly a business run for tourists! Not really what you want as the basis for a whole economy.

Oh yeah, audiobooks! I forgot how much that kind of thing helped me while I was living with my parents.

I turned on a book or pandora, popped in my earbuds, and went about doing the laundry, the ironing, the dishes, the sweeping, the mopping, the vacuuming, the dusting, the cooking, the mowing, the snow shoveling, etc, etc.

It was the only way I could keep my mind occupied, block them OUT, and ignore the negative atmosphere and my unpleasant surroundings.

It became such a habit over the three years I lived with them that I still listen to books, music, yootoobers, concerts, and podcasts while doing my chores. I don't need the earbuds anymore, since I no longer need to "escape" my environment.

It was a tremendous help at the time, plus I explored other types of music I wouldn't normally have been exposed to and enjoyed a lot of YT lectures and commentaries on all kinds of subjects.

I'm in Australia (over in Perth though).

About a decade ago, when I was in my late 20s, I went through a REALLY bad period, where I gradually lost all motivation, ended up not working and basically gave up on life. 2003/4 is an utterly horrible period in my life, to the extent that even today, I cannot really bear to listen to music or watch movies from that period.

A couple of things you should bear in mind:

1. Your life can always turn around. After hitting rock bottom with the death of a close family member, things slowly but surely started to improve for me, and within a few months, I was happier and my life more enjoyable than it had been in years - you NEVER know what is around the corner. If you had told me in late 2004 that by mid 2005 I would be happy and working a job I loved I simply would not have believed you, such was the depths of my misery. Never give up. You can never predict the future.

2. Try to maintain a regular exercise regime. If you cannot afford a gym, then run or go walking EVERY SINGLE DAY. This will make you feel better and get you out of the house.

3. It is not your fault that jobs are in short supply but it is up to you to improve your situation as best you can. Ring around everybody you know to see if there are any jobs going. Four years out of university, I emailed a professor I had a class with but hadn't talked to since graduating - this led to a casual job. Hit up friends (real and facebook), relatives, everybody. If they don't have anything happening, ask if they know somebody who may have a lead.

4. Dress neatly, print off some resumes and go down your local mall. Every large shop there, ask if you can speak to the manager or at least leave a resume. The next day, do this at another mall. At this stage ANY JOB is better than none. You are VASTLY better off stacking shelves in a supermarket, delivering pizzas or working as a cleaner or a barista than sitting at home ruminating and feeling miserable. You can always continue to apply for graduate positions and quit these jobs if something better comes along. If you are having difficulty getting a job, then start volunteering at an organisation you are interested in. In my time, I've volunteered and I've done some pretty crappy jobs. There are other times where I've also sat around feeling miserable, hoping my life would somehow change. Crap jobs and volunteering is 100000% better than the alternative. You MUST be proactive - you CANNOT give in to despair and passivity.

I hope this helps.

EDIT: I hope you don't think that I view you as "lazy" or a "job snob" - I know how tough it is and how frustrating and demoralising unemployment is ( I fully get your comments about the weekend)...but you simply have to keep trying and not give up. Its not your fault the economy is the way it is, but you cannot fix the economy, you can only keep trying.

Have you considered teaching English in Asia? Sth Korea, China and Thailand are all apparently popular with people pursuing this path - all you need is a university degree and a clean record. I would definitely start investigating this if I were in your shoes.


Your situation sucks, but you can also look at the positives. You have something that is literally priceless - your youth. You are also unburdened by kids, mortgage etc. which allows you to move around. Most importantly YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE by trying new approaches. Make a daily achievable resolution ( not something vague like " I will work towards change" but rather something concrete like today I will walk five miles. Or Today I will speak to the hiring manager at a store. Or Today I will contact a recruiter. Or Today I will volunteer at an organisation. Or Today I will phone up about teaching opportunities etc.) and stick to that resolution. Your life will change - you'll see.

Get knocked down seven times - get up eight.

Have you considered teaching English in Asia? Sth Korea, China and Thailand are all apparently popular with people pursuing this path - all you need is a university degree and a clean record. I would definitely start investigating this if I were in your shoes.



Add Japan to the mix. :D This is where I was for two years. However, the program I got into doesn't start accepting applications until November. You could look around at some other ones, though. I was able to save a lot of money and paid a pretty good wage. I recommend this path if you're really desperate for a job and are willing to travel and live abroad.

I really like the suggestion of teaching abroad.

Is this something you could do Reb? You are obviously well educated and apparently well travelled. Teaching overseas could get you to a place where you're in charge of your own life and you would also get the needed work experience.

Yes, I have looked into this. It isn't something I can do:

-The application costs money.
-The TOEFL certification requires money for courses. I have no money.
-The trip to the foreign country is not provided with free airplane tickets.
-Room & Board cost money.

I have absolutely no money at the moment. In addition to this, I have student loans to pay.

Volunteer teaching or teaching for small wages - not in my cards.

I appreciate the suggestion, however.
If you're still in this situation in a few months, I urge you to consider applying for the JET Programme. It costs no money to apply, you don't need the TOEFL, and they provide your airfare. You are provided with accommodation and paid your first check before you have to pay any rent (and housing is usually subsidized by your employer). Because it's a government program, the pay is very good. It looks like the exchange rate is pretty good for Australia right now, too. You can apply as long as you have a college degree and you're under 40.

http://www.us.emb-japan.go.jp/JET/

Edit: Whoops, that's the USA site. Here's the equivalent for Australia. http://www.au.emb-japan.go.jp/en/education/education_jet.html
The website doesn't look as helpful as the American one, so you could check out the first link for more info. :)

I know it's hard to pick up and move internationally, though. I really hope you find something local and close soon.

Since others are stating where their lives stand as of 2015, here is the shortest version I can manage. There were only three children in our family, myself and identical twin sisters. They were younger but not by much, a year and ten months, so could easily overwhelm me in every way. It was always two against one. They were fairly nice, generally fun to be with, and even looked up to me until I was around ten. Disputes were the sort of one-time disagreements that arise between children, not an ongoing war. Everything went wrong overnight, with my dad and sisters deciding they didn't like me...I never determined every reason why or if so what to do about it. My dad didn't exactly encourage them to bully me, he just didn't discourage it or take it seriously. His attitude was either that I was lying/faking/acting out for the sake of drama, in other words the problem was imaginary on my part and not genuine, or that it was genuine but it didn't matter because it was my problem. He himself never seemed to fully settle on one opinion either way...as I said, he never really accepted that my wellbeing or peace of mind mattered...and if I tried to make him listen it was the quickest and surest way to get in trouble. My older sister (we say older though the age difference is only about ten minutes) still can't figure out why I did this. There were "ways to avoid trouble"--which she figured out by the age of 7 or 8--if I never spoke out against what was wrong or tried to say what was right! Yeah, well George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and many others could have done the same, and if they had where would we be now? I still can't make her see this. Also, she just didn't have the incentive to speak out, as Dad liked the twins fairly well (as much as he did anyone) and so did many other people. They had nothing to prove and no reason to try to make themselves heard.

For years, and when I say years I mean four decades...going into a fifth...they kept telling me there was something wrong with me--either a mental illness or some horrible personality disorder. (Not substance abuse as I don't use anything.) I had to practically kill a couple of obnoxious strangers in public on two separate occasions in 2009 and 2010 to make them see that when things go wrong IT IS NOT ALWAYS ME--BELIEVE IT OR NOT, OTHER PEOPLE CAN BE JERKS!!!!! THEY SAW THIS, and then they said I was right but my trouble was that I got too mad over such things...as if I had a choice of how mad to get when pushed around!

So, as I said, they, particularly the older one--the younger adopted positive thinking and reformed to a large extent between 1993 (at which time there was no dealing with her) and 1998 (by which time she was pretty nice). The older one has kept this up since 1972 and doesn't see that she's doing anything wrong or why it's wrong! So, by 1973 I'd decided they were just doing this to be mean. Now, why they should want to deliberately be mean to me when I never went out of my way to be mean to them was a puzzle, but there it was. The younger one along with my father finally admitted I didn't have a mental illness around 1987. My mother never did think anything was wrong with me, but my older sister kept it up--if I didn't have one mental illness it was another, and if it was not mental illness, then it was something else comparable. So when she came to me in 2004 asking if I'd heard of Asperger's Syndrome I said yes, I had read about it online and it sounded like a terrible impairment. She then said I had it. I was rather shocked that even given her track record she would accuse me of such a thing (she has never been given to lies or wild exaggeration) which I told her could not be, that I could not possibly have such a serious condition, particularly without knowing it. (I had noticed certain people over the years, not restricted to my family or even people who knew my family, seemed to object to various things about me and lecture me about them, but I figured that, for reasons of their own, some people just like to give a person a hard time and put them on to psych them out--they couldn't seriously mean it.) So I said, fine, I'll read the list of symptoms. Between the top and the bottom of the list was like being struck by lightning. I obviously had this developmental disability. The only consolations were it was not mental illness, a personality disorder, or substance abuse, and that since learning more about it it seems I am fairly high-functioning (near normal...but not enough!) I was floored. FLOORED! I had to reprocess everything about my life and what I thought was going on between me and others all those years. Two years later I received a formal diagnosis, being seen twice in 2006 and extensively tested by different experts who had no doubt about the verdict. So it took from age 10 (when people started acting as if something was really wrong) till age 45 to find out WHAT THE HECK WAS EVEN GOING ON, and then it wasn't as if there was even a treatment let alone a cure!

As far as how my sisters treated me, I am still processing how much of it may have genuinely been just to be mean--some doubtless was, but I may never know what or how much, exactly, if it matters. The only thing that matters is I developed no confidence with coping with people or situations and am not likely to ever do so. Their tendency to be mean often caused me not to take seriously any criticism they piled on because I figured they're not sincere about it, they're just being mean.

Just one example, from college (over thirty years ago now). A seminar was scheduled with Richard Leakey and Robert Redford. Now, my two fundamentalist roommates were already disapproving because I was going to an event prominently featuring Richard Leakey. The instant I got in the car, the older sister turns on me and practically jumps down my throat with, "I bet you're just going to see Robert Redford and you don't even care about Richard Leakey." I said I was going for an event at the school, not specifically to see either one or the other. She snapped, "I'm going to see both," and kept it up the whole time in the car. She wouldn't treat anyone else that way, questioning their motives for attending an event with an audience of hundreds, if not thousands. I hadn't said one word to make her start in like this. The event was very good--Leakey especially proved erudite and charming and it was well worth going--but our sister had to sit between us and to this day I am still sometimes uncomfortable at the sight or mention of Robert Redford. Particularly when things are not going well. As they tend not to most of the time. This is the sister who lectures me, trying to get me to "be nice, or else." I told her, nothing doing! Your definition of nice is that you guys or whoever you designate gets to walk all over me, and if I don't like it and say so, you call me mean! I do not agree to these definitions of nice and mean at all! We have not resolved this. We're getting together later this month and I dread it. What can I do but try to avoid them in close quarters?

The one hope I had left was that I could accomplish something really extraordinary to make up for being treated like crap for over 40 years. I cherished this hope from 1971 until 2012, when at age 50 it just simply disappeared utterly, practically overnight, which was very upsetting. So basically I've had 50 years, 40 of which were crap and the first 10 probably sucked, too, but I was just too young to know better. I could live another 40 years of this pointless existence as right now I see no prospect of a miraculous redemption by way of showing everyone I am not a total loss. It is so much effort for nothing I don't even want to try. I can't come up with a thing that has a good chance to work. If it doesn't get better I have no idea what to do, but I don't see this ending well at all.

My only real-life interactions outside of family since 2001--my dad died in 2007--besides basic necessities such as the store and medical appointments were at the local theater and church. I've had very little involvement with the theater for the last four years and cut my church activities about in half. I don't interact with people who have a chance to be mean to me and wouldn't say anyone actively dislikes me enough to wish bad things would happen to me. I see only a very few people all of whom are pleasant. I just don't see the prospect of anything good developing in this mortal existence.

Thanks for the kind sentiments and I wish the best to you.

I'm 27 and live in NY state and its rough on a lot of 20 somethings. I do have a good job (luckily) but with insane college debt, the increasing cost of my apartment, car, bills, health insurance ect. It's so hard to be where my parents were at their age in their 20s. I am single too so doing it all on my own isn't always the easiest but there's so many in that situation.

My advice is to never look on Facebook lol. I used to get so jealous seeing people my age vacationing and thinking "I should have enough money saved to do that" Facebook isn't real life and a lot of those friends who were traveling or partying a lot and seemed to live a glamorous life were heavily in debt or living with 5 roommates in cramped conditions. People only post what they want others to see and I cant tell you how many people had "Facebook lives" that were vastly different from real life. So never compare yourself to others, everyone's timing is different and anyone's circumstances can change in a flash.

I know all to well how living in unpleasant circumstances can be and especially when you feel you have no right to speak your mind. Its not easy at all but just remember it does and will get better. Its only a temporary situation. It seems you already have but just keep searching. When I was in-between jobs in my early 20s, I got up every week day as if I was going to work and made looking for a job my job. I went to places that weren't even advertising and really put myself out there. Even try jobs that are below you or aren't much pay as some pay is better than no pay. Plus, it gets you out of the house for a bit to distract you from your living situation. Also, you get to interact with new people and even if they don't end up being friends, its always a good confidence booster. Meanwhile, a job in your field might open up. I know its incredibly disheartening as I've been there but just keep trucking :) It always gets better.

Lastly, reading some of the stories on hear is quite inspiring. Just shows how everyone struggles with something in their lives. I use to be super sensitive and took everything to heart. Now at 27, I've learned to not let others affect me nearly as much. Hurt people hurt others and sometimes they don't even know their effect on you and how someone treats you usually has little to do with you. In the last few years, I have gotten really involved in yoga, meditating, Deepak Chopra books, and organic/healthy eating and its changed my whole perspective on how I deal with my feelings and how I put it into perspective how others treat me. Its done wonders.

I hope everyone has an amazing 2015 :)

. It's so hard to be where my parents were at their age in their 20s.

I'd go further - it is near IMPOSSIBLE for young people to have the sort of lives their parents did in their 20s. Both my parents left school in tenth grade and walked straight into jobs that provided them with a decent income and regular training and advancement - that just doesn't happen today. Unemployment was pretty much unknown in most of the western world from the end of WWII up until the mid 70s. Since then, the (real, inflation adjusted) cost of housing more than doubled.

. My advice is to never look on Facebook lol. People only post what they want others to see and I cant tell you how many people had "Facebook lives" that were vastly different from real life. So never compare yourself to others, everyone's timing is different and anyone's circumstances can change in a flash.


^^^^ agree 100% - I stopped using facebook years ago. I don't miss it in the least. As I said before - your life can always change in an instant...if you have the attitude and take the actions to allow it to.



.I know all to well how living in unpleasant circumstances can be and especially when you feel you have no right to speak your mind. Its not easy at all but just remember it does and will get better. Its only a temporary situation. It seems you already have but just keep searching. When I was in-between jobs in my early 20s, I got up every week day as if I was going to work and made looking for a job my job. I went to places that weren't even advertising and really put myself out there. Even try jobs that are below you or aren't much pay as some pay is better than no pay. Plus, it gets you out of the house for a bit to distract you from your living situation.


I cannot endorse this enough. You MUST be proactive, you CANNOT wallow in despair (like I did for the better part of a year). Expecting life to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like someone expecting a bull not to gore them because they are a vegetarian. Your life will not change by itself; you have to undertake positive action - whether this is fair or not is beside the point, it is the only way.

Urban Dictionary Definition:

Catch 22
A requirement that cannot be met until a prerequisite requirement is met, however, the prerequisite cannot be obtained until the original requirement is met.

I completely understand and have been where you are coming from, but believe me, things will change, they always do in this world...sometimes it is hard to think that the current situation you are in will ever end or change, because you have to live through it. There are so many moments in my life that I look back on and think, "I can't believe I made it through that, that was brutal."

I will tell you that higher education is a good thing, as is education in general and I do believe in it. However, it really can only get you a foot in the door, everything else is really based on experience and work ethic. I graduated with my BS in 2007 and went right to work in sales. After that, I was laid off 6 months in and had started my own company from scratch. We had no money, no investors, and had to borrow money from my parents to pay my rent. After that, my wife and I ended up having to move into my parents basement for two years, while I had to get a part time job at the local gym cleaning toilets, etc... for minimum wage. It felt like things would never change and I didn't really know what I was doing or going to do with my life.

I had never been one to quit and, within the past 2 yrs., the business has taken off, we were able to purchase our own home (albeit a "starter" home), and start saving some money. I will tell you that I would have never imagined my life would have changed so much within that short amount of time, but it can.

My best advice would be (and this is from my experience, but this is based on my personality) to not have your self-worth or motivation come from any external factor. If jobs aren't hiring, try to start your own thing or freelance, etc... The problem with working for someone/something is that, even with a cushy job, you could lose it at any time and start back at the beginning. Believe me, I am 30 now and have to hire people for my own company...it is strange to be interviewing people for a job in my company that had just been laid off and they are my parents' age.

On a side note, my company has made a few sales over in Australia, and there seems to be a lot of interest over there for what we do. I forget what profession you were in?

That's my two cents...essentially, (without sounding too philosophical) everything in the world changes and is supposed to change, including ourselves.

This sounds terrible but I made more money bartending and waitressing at hooters when I was 18 then I do now. During college Id work some nights/weekends and when very busy would take home a 800-1500 for a weekends work (obviously in tips so not taxed when I take it home).

I went to college and got a degree in International Political Science and worked hard but without a graduate degree or law school its useless. I did luck out and have a pretty good job in the marketing field but like I said now Im stuck with college debt for bettering myself but still make less than a bartending job lol So, I definitely understand. Its so funny how they want people to "better yourself" which I very much understand but yet now with mounting debt and living expenses its always impossible.

I was going to suggest a bartending job until you find a job in your field? I've never been to Australia (Id love to!) but bartenders can make very good money and it allows you to pay your own way until you are able to get your dream job in your field :) Just a suggestion.

In reference to Kryssy's earlier comments,

does anyone else think that Facebook is essentially useless?
I'm hoping to be able to delete mine, but my friends all love to contact me through Messenger and make event pages. And I have to admit that sharing pictures and videos is fun. But like Kryssy said, it can be discouraging to see how successful other people are at a young age. I notice a lot of my friends are engaged, married, or having kids. I scroll down and see a whole slew of wedding photos, engagement rings, and babies. I'm 24 and I think those kinds of photos are only going to increase as time goes on lol. I really don't use it for anything but talking to my friends anymore and will probably end up deleting it after a while. I'm also not a fan of Twitter or Instagram.

does anyone else think that Facebook is essentially useless?

I don't like facebook. Mostly because they keep changing their privacy settings and you have to keep learning how to navigate their system to keep your settings the way you want them. I haven't looked at the newsfeed in a long time so don't have any idea what foolishness people are posting nowadays.

I stopped using it in 2009, when I quit playing Farmville. To play the game, you have to get a lot of strangers to be "friends" because you have to beg all your "friends" for certain items to advance in the game. If you don't have a zillion friends you can't get all the items and can't advance. I got tired of being hounded and having to hound other people. That was just about the opposite of being social.

Since I quit using it, I pared all my friends down to family and a few online and real life friends only, (primarily because my husbands large family will only communicate via FB messenger instead of text, email, or phone) and removed almost all photos. I don't have my real name, location, school or work history, etc. on FB.

My husband keeps his FB current and many of his clients follow him. His page is public. He's not as concerned about privacy as I am, and to my constant aggravation, he posts personal things such as his exercise tracking info (shows a real map of where he went for a jog, which is in and around our neighborhood), photos that have me in them, random crap where he forgets to disable his GPS and it tells everyone where he's located at the time of the post, etc. He doesn't see the danger in that, even though he's had irate customers threaten him many times over the years, had a stalker for 21 years, and was once shot at by an employee!

As far as networking for jobs, FB has been useless but LinkedIn has helped him stay current with people in his field all over the country. They actually make good connections because he has to travel for national convention every other month and those people are in and out of the convention rotations all the time. Through those connections, he was offered a way better higher paying job out of state last year, but since our daughter is married, planning to start a family this year, and is only an hour drive away from us, we decided to stay here.

I'm hoping to be able to delete mine, but my friends all love to contact me through Messenger and make event pages. And I have to admit that sharing pictures and videos is fun. But like Kryssy said, it can be discouraging to see how successful other people are at a young age. I notice a lot of my friends are engaged, married, or having kids. I scroll down and see a whole slew of wedding photos, engagement rings, and babies. I'm 24 and I think those kinds of photos are only going to increase as time goes on lol. I really don't use it for anything but talking to my friends anymore and will probably end up deleting it after a while. I'm also not a fan of Twitter or Instagram.

Wait till you're twice that age! My friends' are all about parents going into nursing homes, being ill, and dying, and their health problems. (To be fair, some involve children and grandchildren.) One person my age just had a tooth extracted and another had a section of colon removed! He didn't say why...scary stuff! One died following surgery and the first I heard of it was on Facebook (it's actually very useful for such news)! :( But I can relate to one extent or another to what they're going through.

I don't like facebook. Mostly because they keep changing their privacy settings and you have to keep learning how to navigate their system to keep your settings the way you want them.

TracyLynnS: Two words. Facebook Purity. http://www.fbpurity.com/

RebZissel: Everything you said is true with the possible exception of its being a fad or going away. As technologies change, they'll just replace it with something else. I can imagine so many worse things I don't like to say. Despite all the negatives, I stay with it for the positive aspects!

Wait till you're twice that age! My friends' are all about parents going into nursing homes, being ill, and dying, and their health problems. (To be fair, some involve children and grandchildren.) One person my age just had a tooth extracted and another had a section of colon removed! He didn't say why...scary stuff! One died following surgery and the first I heard of it was on Facebook (it's actually very useful for such news)! :( But I can relate to one extent or another to what they're going through.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I heard about one of my dear friends that way, too, and it is a jarring experience. :(

Another bummer about FB: Annoying political/religious rants. And then if anyone tries to have a polite debate, there's an all out war! I avoid those things like the plague and stay out of it, as I usually do in person. I've also seen full blown family fights on there for the world to see. One acquaintance of mine I don't know that well was furious at her family and her cousin wrote something angrily. So Acquaintance's husband defends his wife and gets a death threat from the cousin! Cousin uses poor grammar, so husband corrects his spelling. I couldn't help but read it (and of course, didn't comment). It seems insane to me that people would air their dirty laundry out for everyone to see it!

My husband keeps his FB current and many of his clients follow him. His page is public. He's not as concerned about privacy as I am, and to my constant aggravation, he posts personal things such as his exercise tracking info (shows a real map of where he went for a jog, which is in and around our neighborhood), photos that have me in them, random crap where he forgets to disable his GPS and it tells everyone where he's located at the time of the post, etc. He doesn't see the danger in that, even though he's had irate customers threaten him many times over the years, had a stalker for 21 years, and was once shot at by an employee!


That location feature is terrible. I had a friend of mine leave it on and I told him, "Do you realize I know exactly which street corner you're on right now and which direction you're heading in?" It's definitely a good idea to be cautious and turn it off. Otherwise, it's a stalker's dream tool.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I heard about one of my dear friends that way, too, and it is a jarring experience. :(

Thanks, yeah. I have been both the receiver and the sender of such news. The latest was the destruction of a significant historic site, of which I posted:

Link to the Facebook page of the jerk--er, famous architect--who tore down Ray Bradbury's house so some illiterate idiots could build a stupid crummy McMansion! https://www.facebook.com/thom.mayne Here is his company's website. http://morphopedia.com/ Please take a moment to let him know what you think of him!

On Thom Mayne's Facebook page, I found many had already been busy, some brilliantly so. I left him this:

Somewhere, John Wilkes Booth is smiling. (Many who actually bothered to crack the cover of a really great book know how that relates to Ray Bradbury!)

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10915216_10205942096896753_6903395960984126273_n.jpg?oh=13853318bb8261b7cd7b7677859f5cbd&oe=556CDA75&__gda__=1428523619_771b953338c2ad3efa54865b40341d18

Attention, everybody! The house where Ray Bradbury lived when he wrote Fahrenheit 451 is still standing! Here is the public record on it: http://www.trulia.com/homes/California/Los_Angeles/sold/4262641-10750-Clarkson-Rd-Los-Angeles-CA-90064
Can we PLEASE enact a blue plaque policy in this country and slap one on this place ASAP? Thanks!

Link to the newspaper article which has drawn many responses: http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-ray-bradbury-house-being-torn-down-20150113-story.html

Facebook and social media is only going to get bigger. I think people feel validated and appreciated when people comment or like their statuses whether its friends/family or strangers.

Honestly, its so easy to filter only the good to show on ones facebook, it isn't a fair comparison to compare your life to "a filtered one of someone else through facebook." I think as long as you know this going into it, youre fine. I don't see anything bad about facebook as long as you are mature enough to use it. Yes, the political/sport rants are annoying but people like to hear themselves talk on a platform. There is always that person who constantly posts inspirational quotes yet you personally know they keep messing up their own life, the TMI couples on facebook, ect

Again, as long as you have a good insight about how filtered it is and not to compare or take it seriously, facebook is fine. In our busy life it is cool to connect to old friends/acquaintances/distance family members ect. Id just keep a grounded view of it and how ridiculous some people can be on it.

That location feature is terrible. I had a friend of mine leave it on and I told him, "Do you realize I know exactly which street corner you're on right now and which direction you're heading in?" It's definitely a good idea to be cautious and turn it off. Otherwise, it's a stalker's dream tool.

A couple years ago on websleuths, I was following a cold murder case. One of the people involved, who was the last to see the victim alive, started commenting there. He would post to the forum on his lunch hour.

He was using his phone and the GPS was on. Every post told us exactly where he was posting from, the local library or the mcdonalds nearby. He had to keep fixing his GPS settings so his location wouldn't show up on his posts.

That was the first I realized that even a message board, where most people want to be anonymous, can be set up to show your location.

I agree about the Facebook comments. Someone mentioned politics and sports I usually only share my opinion on there about sports because I love sports and I look at sports as a hobby not as something serious that can offend people but I guess it could. Certainly I don't touch politics or religious rants and people that do I usually delete. I also only use it to keep up with friends and family that I can't see often especially the ones that live far away that I want to stay in touch with that I otherwise could not. I'm not friends with very many people from my childhood or school years other than the few people that I still talk to. Mostly with real friends that I've met through work as an adult that I would want to stay in contact with for future networking/employment sharing ideas etc. I too don't undrerstand the bragging about personal status because it makes you look childish and it is also a security risk when you do this.

By the way, I have never said social media will disappear.

Facebook, on the other hand, will run its course eventually. Something will replace it.
It's already as big as it ever will be. The younger generation doesn't really prefer Facebook because it lacks privacy. The ones that use it really only use it sparingly. People give them flack for being the digital generation but they are smarter than we realize. I think it's my generation that struggles the most with the digital age because we once lived in a pre social media world. Facebook users are generally older from my perspective.

Yes, that's what happened to Facebook. It isn't cool anymore.

Grandma and Uncle Bob comment on your party photos, then ask your mom why you did this or that.

It just isn't fun anymore.
Yep exactly.

Weekends are such a strange phenomenon when you're unemployed. I know people who work and Friday 5pm is a glorious time for them.

Not so for the unemployed. Employers will not contact anyone during the weekend.

I guess in life you have to learn to enjoy the little things. I, for example, ate a burger with fries while watching Everybody Loves Raymond.

It's not much, but something I enjoyed.

I think of Michael Keaton, who enjoyed great success and then his career slowed down. He was a megastar during the 80's and was quite successful during the 90's. Then for 15 years he seemed to be stuck, but with Birdman he has regained his megastar status. He persevered and kept going and going. He won so many awards and will probably take home an Oscar soon. He's a great example of how no one should ever give up.

According to IMDB about Keaton: Lived in his '63 VW Bug for 2 nights in California while trying to become an actor.

Perseverance.reading this reminded me of UM own Bon jovi. He wrote a song called its my life. i heard this song once at freemont experience in Las Vegas and It really stuck with me and is a moment I will never forget. So I did some research on this song later and I found out that when Bon jovi wrote this song they were in a funk and were at a crossroads in their lives and finally they just said it's either do this now or never which was the theme behind their song. Well it turned out to be a huge hit and propelled them back to stardom and won a new generation of fans. Just goes to show in life no matter who you are where you come from or what you have people go through tough times and if you don't give up you can make it to the other side.

And any day you can eat a burger and fries is a great day in my book.

By the way, does anyone know if or when UM will bring in a new host? Both of the previous ones were great.

No idea of when, but IF they bring the series back, someone has to host!

Does anyone feel the U.S. economy is getting better? I'm still stuck in yesteryear.

At least the reports indicate it is getting better.

By the way, does anyone know if or when UM will bring in a new host? Both of the previous ones were great.
I think so.

As far as a host I don't know. I don't think the show will come back.

Do you live anywhere near your old university? A lot of colleges will critique alumni resumes for free and offer advice. At my alma mater, there's an entire career development office. They even have an online system to use to submit your resume and search for jobs in the area with companies that are reaching out to the university to help fill positions.

3 weeks now into January. No interviews.

Does anyone have any tips on resumes? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.



Even if you are not receiving benefits, Centrelink have people who will help you brush up your resume (even a professional resume) for free and also give you interview tips - give them a call.

As a previous poster noted, the careers service of your old university will also likely be happy to cast an eye over your resume.

If you sign up to an employment agency in your field, they will help you brush up your resume.

As a general rule - your most recent employment/internship should be listed first with DOT POINT (easy to scan) lists of your skills and experience; each previous position then should be listed (second most recent, third most recent) with DOT POINT lists of your skills and experience. It is good if you can make sure it is neat and exact (font, paragraph spacing etc.) Nothing worse than a resume that looks like it has been thrown together with no effort

DON'T just have one, unchanging resume. Think about what the employer for the position wants and tailor your resume to highlight those skills and experience the job looks for. (i.e. IT job? highlight experience with computers. Customer Service job? highlight experience in dealing with the public.)

Have an independent third person read your resume before you send it off.

Its OK to "embroider the truth" a little - but don't start making up stuff wholesale...you'll probably get caught in the interview, and even if you don't, lying on your resume is grounds for automatic firing if your boss finds out.

Also, ALWAYS include a covering letter even if the advertisement doesn't request one (not too long - a couple of paragraphs at most) - ensure it is free from typos and grammatical mistakes (unlike many of my posts!). Have a third party proof-read it for you.

The problem is that there are not enough jobs for everyone.

Competition is fierce and even if you are qualified, it is still a matter of luck. You need to catch the eye of the hiring manager.

Plenty needs doing. Now, whoever finds a way of getting people to pay for having it done will be the genius of this world.

I'm not an expert but I did work in recruiting for my job for some time. I'm
About 1.5 years removed from that now and certainly things in that field can change over time nor is there one status quo system in place. Resume is important and in many cases required. IMO The best way to land a job today is matching your face to the paper in whatever way you can. Honestly most people that hire likely struggle to sort through paper and unless you've done something extraordinary it may not stand out. Even then(keep in mind many resumes will look alike to people that look at them often). Today landing a job is often about who you know. So it takes courage to put yourself out there. Being persistent and showing that you care also goes a long way.

The reason I have been sad, angry, hurt, upset, disgusted with everything, and have had no rest, comfort, or peace for the better part of two weeks appears earlier in this thread--updates below!

It grows continually worse and worse with no end in sight! My God, the Philistine responsible for this appalling act of barbarism does not plan construction till at least 2017! He could have taken TWO YEARS to arrange some way NOT TO TORTURE US, but NO!

I should send him the bill for the medication I am going to have to take because of this!

http://la.curbed.com/archives/2015/01/what_does_starchitect_thom_mayne_have_planned_for_the_site_of_ray_bradburys_old_house.php

http://touch.latimes.com/#section/-1/article/p2p-82603007/

Just a general post to all the members out there.

Many of us struggle with something and have difficult days. Don't feel alone.

My favorite motivational speaker Les Brown has two maxims:

"Difficult times are not here to stay; they are here to pass."

"It's not over until you win."
Thanks, I needed this. Three weeks since my second interview. Things are not looking so good. *sigh* But perseverance is key. :)

I hear what you're saying, DallasTexan.

There's definitely an advantage when someone high up places you in your position. I have never met a single person who could do this.

I don't have a single connection. I am all on my own. I come from a family that could not be more working-class. I have never been from a privileged background.
same here as far as where I came from.

If you haven't done this ready I suggest go to the places that you want to work and ask to talk to the people that hire. No doubt people will blow you off but if you keep doing that eventually you will talk to someone and you may get a shot. I learned this in recruiting. I had to talk to a lot of people that I didn't know or feel comfortable around and that's how you meet others and make those contacts yourself. Don't always wait for someone to call you on their terms you be the one to do things on your terms. It's tough out there for sure. Keep your head up!

Cori,

If you believe so strongly in this, then maybe you should contact your local and elected officials. Tell them how you feel.

It seems the law is about to change, which could well account for the rush to demolish the house! http://la.curbed.com/archives/2014/11/los_angeles_making_it_illegal_to_secretly_demolish_old_buildings.php

I contacted the major television news agencies in the United States and Great Britain and publicized it in every other way I could think of--if anyone knows of something obvious I may have missed, please let me know! We can at least try to make this son of a bitch uncomfortable for what he's done! :smash:

"If you get knocked down, land on your back because if you can look up, you can get up."-Les Brown


Thats the spirit :thumbsup:

RebZ, are you only interesting in work in your field? or will you take any job until you get a job in your field? Some money is better than no money and it gets you out of the housing situation during the day. You can still hit the pavement hard to get your dream job but will you take any old job in the meantime?

Of course I can understand that and that is some amazing accomplishments.

I just meant that in that in the meantime until something in your field opens up isn't some money better than no money?

Anyone who has worked hard in school and had pervious success wants and deserves a decent job of course but I just meant if bills need to be paid and we need to survive in the meantime I don't think anyone is too big for any job.

I had a friend who has a masters in aeronautical engineering but when they were in-between jobs due to economic factors took a job at Starbucks. I don't think there is any shame in doing what you have to do to pay bills no matter how big ones resume is. That is all I meant.

I mean no offense and am certainly not judging. I have actually had this discussion with college friends and the only reason I asked was because some of them refused to get any job because they thought they were "too good" for a basic job yet they spent 2 years living with their parents waiting for a job in their field to open up. Not saying that is your situation as I'm not familiar but that is why I asked.

Reb,

Do you have a Linked In account? It's a social media site revoling around your professional contacts. I use it to keep in touch with people I work with, but it looks like it might be a good way with people who may know people who are looking for work.

I just meant that in that in the meantime until something in your field opens up isn't some money better than no money?

It's not "what" you know, it's "who" you know, and possibly having some kind of employment would put you "out there" in reach of better prospects!

Hope everyone is doing well.

For me it's the depth of winter in the personal and professional senses.

Have to keep the faith. Life can turn around any moment.

But it's not like, winter-winter where you are? :frosty:

Cori,

Wherever I am, it is most certainly winter.

What I like about this message board is that I can post anonymously.

At the time when I registered, I was in tropical Australia.

That's what I was kind of asking. Are you still in Australia but one of those people who carry a little personal snow cloud around over your head?

Reb, I know you said you've tried many options. Have you ever put your resume on a job search site, like on Monster? I just did it last weekend and am having some good luck now.

Thank you! Had a couple this week, one next week, and managed to snag a second interview at one of the places I met with this week. Things are starting to look better!

May I ask - was this because of Monster.com?
Yes.

Well, I had one interview this year so far.

They're so strange. I hate questions like: why do you want this job? What do you know about this company? Why do you want to work in this field?

Isn't is all obvious. I need a job. Why else would I apply? Unfortunately, you have to come up with original, innovative answers.

I've been going through nothing but hard times this past year and a half.

I wonder when the road will brighten. It seems like it won't.

Tough times indeed....

Not to intrude I always feel when they ask those kind of questions they really don't want to hire that person. My mother has trouble finding work simply because in the interviewer is mainly looking for someone young, smart, with a great personality that clicks with the interviewer. Its almost like they're looking for a new friend to add in the group because they need to replace the old one because he or she has left the job. They want to pick a different person with the same characteristics and personality as the old friend/co-worker.

I've dealt with many nasty HR people. They forget how hard it can be. They sit in their offices wearing nice suits and develop a superiority complex.

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d137/noster88/catbert.png

I have been with my present employer for over 14 years. I was 27 when I lucked into a position with them WAY back in late 2000. I am now 41. It has been a rocky decade and a half. And there is more to come. I get so down at times because of how screwed up my place of employment really is. The people who run it have NO idea what they are doing. Which is true of about 90% of places of employment these days. I shake my head in amazement that I am still there after all this time. For one thing, there have been times when I wanted out so bad, I would have done anything. And for another thing, I am amazed that when the going got tough, it never resulted in a big downsizing or anything. Well, it did, but it didn't, you know? For instance, I have seen three or four "downsizings" in my time there, but it ended up coming the form of retirement buyouts and only terminating those who had been there a year or less. I am fortunate that it never got worse than that. Not so far, anyway!

Fortunate really doesn't even cover it, as far as I am concerned. Times were tough even way back in 2000 when I first started working there. I had been through not one but TWO company closings earlier that year. First, in early 2000, a company I had been with for three years went under. Then, the very next company I went to work for announced it was closing it's doors for good in September of that same year, 8-9 months after I got there. Shortly thereafter is when I lucked into a position with my present employer.

I am sure my age helped me out back then as well. At 27, you are a young, energetic kid with lots of work time still ahead of you. By 30, well, you're not "old" yet, but you are no kid anymore, by any means. And by early 40's, well, that is a senior citizen in the eyes of an employer. As tough as things were way back in 2000, I shudder to think what it would be like to even begin to look for work now, 15 years later and me being much, much older. And not to mention, a far worse off economy. (By the way, I remember hearing in 2009 that the economy would "get better" before the year was over.) I tell myself that every time I get discouraged at my job. And it happens A LOT!

My employer seems as though they have just lost their minds. For instance, the person I answer to doesn't even work for the same place that I do! My "boss" is a contracted out, part time, temporary person from a temp service making a good bit less money and working far less hours than me! This is who I am under! How is that even possible, I ask myself day in and day out. And that is but ONE example of the nonsense that has gone on at my job for years now. It's crazy to say the least, but nonetheless, it beats the hell out of the alternative. A steady job in this day and age is truly a blessing, no matter how insane it may get. Best of luck to those on here who are in difficult times. May things get better soon.

This must have been one of the "Never aired on Lifetime" episodes.

This and the end of last year were very transitional for me. I returned from Asia after teaching abroad for two years and just found a job after six months of unemployment and interviews that went nowhere (came close with a second interview once). I just got the news a couple of days ago and start next week. Next, it will be time to adjust and waiting to see if I got into the graduate schools I applied to. If I didn't (or didn't get adequate financial aid), then at least I have this position now.

It's so easy to get discouraged while job hunting. I feel fortunate that I only endured six months of it. During the two years I was away, my friends all struggled to find something post-graduation. One of them has two low-paying part-time jobs with no hope of promotion and little luck applying elsewhere. Others got luckier and found more promise after first working retail jobs. I would just encourage those who are having trouble to use the internet to their best advantage, see how far you're willing/able to commute, and search tirelessly for anything in that radius. I got lucky because of recruiters willing to represent me (something I had never considered). I would say just put yourself out there on websites like Monster, Indeed, SnagaJob (make your resume searchable by employers). If you have the skills employers and the recruiters who represent them are looking for, you will come up in their searches of these websites. I felt like giving up before trying Monster. Then I woke up the day after putting my resume on there to several messages and emails from recruiters. I'd still be jobless if I hadn't tried it.

I guess one good thing about hunting these days is that you can apply with the click of a button. It's almost like a lottery, hoping you'll get a lucky hit. But the odds are definitely far better. Of course, things vary depending on the area you're in. But search around online for open positions nearby that match your skill set and apply to those. Even if you don't match all the requirements, sometimes they're willing to bend, too. You risk nothing submitting your resume. The worst thing they can say is no or nothing at all. :)

I will offer this, although I realize many people don't view it as an attractive option: the military. In fact, I scream it from the mountaintops.

I owe almost every job I've gotten since joining the Reserve to the Army, as well as the opportunity to go to school nearly debt-free. As a veteran, I also enjoy hiring preference for many federal and state jobs. It really has paid extraordinary dividends in my life, and has kept me consistently afloat financially and professionally.

Consider it. It's difficult in many areas and highly stressful at times. But in my experience, it has delivered exceptionally well.

Thank you! :)

Unemployment is definitely tough. Since January 1, I applied for 600 jobs.

I only landed 1 interview. Still waiting to find out what they decided.

:faint:

I was at my night class the last week and somehow a girl randomly started talking about her life and we all started sharing stories and it was pretty cool. We are all put together and polite but once it started flowing, you could empathize and relate to practical strangers. No matter what, everyone has gone through a dark period in their life. Everyone has struggled. Some more than others but ultimately, its a very relatable experience. Letting our guard down and just openly sharing stories (some funny, some sad) made our night.

Depression and loneliness can be incredibly detrimental to your health. In fact, loneliness has been shown to significantly decrease life expectancy if its over a long period of time. We are social creatures so goes against our makeup. Try not to isolate yourself as it can be a vicious cycle with depression. As someone who is very much into health, make sure you're exercising, getting outside, and eating healthy. I cant stress that enough. Study after study has shown how it can greatly improve your mood. A lot of times when someone is down and out or going through a rough time in their life, they isolate themselves, wont get exercise and comfort eat (all which then contribute to further depression). I know it sounds random but make sure you are taking care of yourself.

Don't isolate yourself either because your ashamed of your situation or feel bad about it. Many people can relate. Join a local Meetup group in your area in whatever you like to do. Try to do whatever you can do get out there. Its a lot easier to isolate when your in this state but it only makes you more depressed and the cycle of depression worse.

Nobody can control what happens to them but you can control how you respond to it. It starts in your mind and ends there. It will get better but it takes work getting out of your comfort zone but it will be worth it. All these are small but significant changes.

Feel better! A lot of people can come out the other side. It will get better :)

I was at my night class the last week and somehow a girl randomly started talking about her life and we all started sharing stories and it was pretty cool. We are all put together and polite but once it started flowing, you could empathize and relate to practical strangers. No matter what, everyone has gone through a dark period in their life. Everyone has struggled. Some more than others but ultimately, its a very relatable experience. Letting our guard down and just openly sharing stories (some funny, some sad) made our night.

Depression and loneliness can be incredibly detrimental to your health. In fact, loneliness has been shown to significantly decrease life expectancy if its over a long period of time. We are social creatures so goes against our makeup. Try not to isolate yourself as it can be a vicious cycle with depression. As someone who is very much into health, make sure you're exercising, getting outside, and eating healthy. I cant stress that enough. Study after study has shown how it can greatly improve your mood. A lot of times when someone is down and out or going through a rough time in their life, they isolate themselves, wont get exercise and comfort eat (all which then contribute to further depression). I know it sounds random but make sure you are taking care of yourself.

Don't isolate yourself either because your ashamed of your situation or feel bad about it. Many people can relate. Join a local Meetup group in your area in whatever you like to do. Try to do whatever you can do get out there. Its a lot easier to isolate when your in this state but it only makes you more depressed and the cycle of depression worse.

Nobody can control what happens to them but you can control how you respond to it. It starts in your mind and ends there. It will get better but it takes work getting out of your comfort zone but it will be worth it. All these are small but significant changes.

Feel better! A lot of people can come out the other side. It will get better :)
This is wonderful advice. Speaking up and getting out of the house are two vital components of a happy, healthy life. No matter how dire your situation may be, bottling it up will never help. I started attending a yoga class this week and went walking on the beach for the first time in a while. I realized how I need to do this so much more! Walking is free, and it's always helped clear my head, even in the most stressful of times. I realize that most of this country is going through an actual winter, though, so until spring comes I would recommend bundling up and getting out into meetings like Kryssy mentioned. That being said, I know what it's like to live in the snow and cold--it can make things feel so much more lonely and worse! That's why it's even more important to get up and get out there, in whatever way you can. Community centers, meetups, etc. I highly recommend it!

This is wonderful advice. Speaking up and getting out of the house are two vital components of a happy, healthy life. No matter how dire your situation may be, bottling it up will never help. I started attending a yoga class this week and went walking on the beach for the first time in a while. I realized how I need to do this so much more! Walking is free, and it's always helped clear my head, even in the most stressful of times. I realize that most of this country is going through an actual winter, though, so until spring comes I would recommend bundling up and getting out into meetings like Kryssy mentioned. That being said, I know what it's like to live in the snow and cold--it can make things feel so much more lonely and worse! That's why it's even more important to get up and get out there, in whatever way you can. Community centers, meetups, etc. I highly recommend it!

Thanks Wishfuldreamer! Oh believe me, I know all too well about this terrible winter! I live in Buffalo, NY :( lol. It was -35 with wind chill the other day. Its been so brutal. I have family in Boston, MA too and they are getting a snow apocalypse (now they can finally understand what I go through in Buffalo every year lol). Its been a terrible winter for anyone that lives in the northern states for sure.

Great choice too with the yoga! I do Bikram yoga in this winter as its 104 degrees in the studio. Its intense but the heat feels so good with how cold its been. Yoga is amazing for the body and mind. I sleep so much better now.

Alright, this has gone as about as far as I want it to go. I understand we all post off-topic things from time to time, but this completely off-topic thread has ballooned up to 10 pages. It has nothing to do with Unsolved Mysteries. Hell, it has nothing to do with true crime period. Normally, I'd say take this to chit-chat, but the OP has already started a duplicate thread there.

RebZissel, allow me to give you the "tough love" treatment. If you want a job, stop posting on this message board, stop watching television and go out and get one. Apply to every job you're qualified for. Go to businesses that aren't hiring at the moment and get an application on file so you'll be in line when they do have an opening. If necessary, go to an employment agency. Get books on resumes and cover letters. Call the places you've applied to until they give you an answer one way or another. Take it from somebody who has never had the easy way in life: if you want things to change, you have to change. Stop waiting to be handed your dream job on a silver platter. If you're as desperate as you claim, you'd be doing everything in your power to get a job. Looking at your high post count recently and that your posts come from all hours of the day and night, you are clearly wasting too much time.

And please spare me your disdain for doing chores in your household. Since you don't contribute financially, it's the least you can do. Otherwise, you're a freeloader.

This post may be not be popular with some people. Tough noogies. All of this delicate hand-holding isn't accomplishing a damn thing.

I cannot endorse this enough. You MUST be proactive, you CANNOT wallow in despair (like I did for the better part of a year). Expecting life to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like someone expecting a bull not to gore them because they are a vegetarian. Your life will not change by itself; you have to undertake positive action - whether this is fair or not is beside the point, it is the only way.

Emphasis my own.

I think isotope was dead-on with this.

I think everyone wants to see you succeed, Reb.

Over a decade ago, this concept changed my life. You're free to consider it or reject it. But I leave it for you:

http://psychology.about.com/od/personalitydevelopment/fl/What-Is-Locus-of-Control.htm

Wiseguy, you seem to troll me everywhere I post on this message board. I try to politely dodge your angry comments that constantly include disdain and outrage. I'm not interested in arguing with you. I used to sound like you and believed personal responsibility overcomes all. Not true. There is an element of good fortune that you need and those who have never faced hard times live in a world as real as your professional wrestling profile pic when they make the same assumptions you make. I do think however you should try to learn from Gorilla Monsoon - he was a classy, kind-hearted man who did a great deal to help those facing poverty and unemployment. His acts of kindness are legendary. Think about it.

Um, no. Just no. You posted some inaccurate information on here, I corrected you. That does not a troll make.

Pal, if you've applied for 600 jobs and only got 1 interview, you're doing something wrong. I've given you some of the best advice on here. It's your decision to take it or leave it.

Professional wrestling is as real as any other sport, considering Lance Armstrong doped his way to 7 titles, the rampant steroid abuse in baseball, need I go on? Wrestlers get legit injuries. All the time. Many have died. Nothing fake about that.

You are clearly grossly exaggerating your situation as a ploy to gain sympathy on here. You claimed it was "most certainly winter" where you are. Well, last month you stated you lived in Australia. I checked. The weather there yesterday was 72 and sunny. That doesn't sound like winter to me. I don't know if your current claims about living in Machu Pichu are factual or not (doubtful, since you claim to not have the money to fly anywhere) but just for giggles, I checked the weather in Machu Pichu yesterday. About 60 degrees.

Stop clogging the forum with misinformation, exaggerations and off-topic nonsense.

There is an element of good fortune that you need...

I find that's a rather defeatist thought pattern.

Do you really think the notion that an outside, abstract force (that in my estimation, doesn't even exist in the first place) plays a role in your successes and failures is a helpful or empowering one? Or does it reinforce the idea that you have less control over your circumstances than you actually do?

I don't believe in fortune and luck. I believe in people. Thinking traps abound. Don't fall into them.

Honestly, I'm confused as to why this thread is allowed to stay when it's clearly OT.

OP, I find it curious that you won't answer specific questions - like what degree you have - along with the contradictory facts you provide.

According to what you've posted, you NEED to get off the internet. You're wasting a lot of time on a fantasy world. Of course people seem to be nicer, they're reacting to only the aspects of your personality you're showing them. They also don't have to live with you and deal with you from day to day. You're not going to get reality from people who don't actually know you. The people you actually know are the ones who can help tell you where you might be going wrong or point you in the direction of jobs that might be available where you are. It helps to lock yourself out of forum accounts - if you can't delete the accounts, change the password to something you won't remember and change the email address to a fake one.

If your social circle is lacking, try joining local clubs or going to classes at your local recreation center. Find local groups on Facebook or Meetup that are into the things you are. Yes, it's the internet, but it is connecting with reality - not your forum personality.

Anyone would get annoyed with someone who seems to have plenty of time for the internet and tv but complains when asked to contribute somehow to the household since they aren't contributing financially. Really think about this one - find ways to contribute. You have the resources to get online and the time to watch tv - take the time to do dishes or help clean out the attic.

If you've got a degree, you need to contact your school counselors. Even if you're not still attending, they have resources you can still use for applying for jobs. They can help you work on your resume and help you find the right jobs to apply for.

You need to be calling back and following up with every job you apply for. Apply for fast food jobs, anything in the meantime. Don't put your degree on your application for jobs like that - they don't care and you'll seem overqualified. Meanwhile, find a volunteer job. It'll get you out of the house and maybe put you in a situation where you can see that you actually don't have it that bad (seriously, if you can sit around and post on a forum all day and watch tv...yeah).

It's difficult to give career-specific advice without knowing your actual area of study. Generally, go back to your school and volunteer as a tutor. Even if you're doing a job that doesn't involve your area of study, you're showing a future employer that you didn't slack off on your learning AND that you didn't sit idle waiting for the perfect job.

There is no magic wand in life - YOU have to make things happen for yourself.

Really think about this one - find ways to contribute. You have the resources to get online and the time to watch tv - take the time to do dishes or help clean out the attic.

I live with my mother right now. I am married and my husband and I have a house in Georgia, where he lives and works while I attend school out of state, but I currently live with my mom. I'm almost 30 years old. She houses me rent-free. I cannot IMAGINE not contributing to household chores.

In the first place, it's stuff I don't even think about--I just do it. It's what my husband and I do at home, why wouldn't I do it here? Secondly, even the mere act of washing dishes or folding laundry gives me at least a small sense of responsibility and control, aside from it being a way to pull my weight around here. Remember that story about that Navy admiral's speech at the University of Texas's commencement last spring?

http://www.today.com/news/navy-seals-advice-grads-make-your-bed-every-morning-2D79695461

I find it to be the honest truth.

Okay, show of hands: Who here thinks Rob killed Angela?


*ducks*

Okay, show of hands: Who here thinks Rob killed Angela?


*ducks*

:lol:

I completely agree with what Idyla and Meg are saying. Taking responsibility for your life is key. People lacking that is an absolute epidemic in many aspects. Whether its expecting a dream job to just fall into your lap, being unhealthy/overweight and not willing to truly make a lifestyle change, or people who are depressed and expect a pill to just fix it but refuse to make healthy changes in their life. People want a quick fix and one that is usually the least work or effort.

No pill, no quick fix and no half hearted effort ever lead anyone to a great change in their life. If you put great effort in and take responsibility for everything you do (not blame or play the victim) it will lead to happiness but its not overnight.

Reb, I am not crass and try to be kind to everyone (especially a stranger on a message board) but its very true. Be grateful you're not homeless and try to stay positive. Its not an ideal situation but work hard to get ANY job and you can have your own place within 6-12 months or even get a roommate if you'd like to move out sooner. When I was 20-21, I was a bartender and had my own apartment. I was very tight and went to school but I made it work. (No, I didn't use school loans to pay my bills) Did I mention I also live in New York state where everything is expensive? You don't need a great job right out of the gate. Its an ego thing. I read an article a year back about an executive who lost his job now working as a barista. As I've also said, I've had friends with degrees struggle and take jobs they didn't want but had to.

Please make it a job to search for ANY job. If you're willing to take ANY job, I'm sure you can find one within a few weeks. Even if it pays $8/hour that's 1100-1200 a month you didn't have before. You can still work and continue to search for a better job. Use the internet to look for jobs, not be on here during the day at least.

Not everything in life is so clear cut and in black and white. People only view life through the prism of their own limited experiences. I was once like that. Not everything is so simple.

Wouldn't that also include you? You are 'people', right?

You're right--not everything in life is so clear cut and in black and white. Like that those who are successful didn't work hard, or have "powerful parents that can make phone calls", or "brag on Facebook" apparently to make you feel bad. Or that you need "luck" to succeed in life to begin with, and if you don't have it, you're hopelessly SOL. What a terribly destructive lie to tell yourself.

Sometimes the most loving thing a person can tell you is to suck it up. I highly encourage you to re-examine your own thinking patterns and how they may figure into your current circumstances.

Reb, I am probably the most understanding person I know. I try my best not to judge others and am very well know life is not black and white. Even those of the most dire or tragic circumstances and have come through will say taking responsibility and not playing a victim is very important in turning it around. It doesn't mean someone doesn't sympathize or empathize with you but if you don't take the necessary steps to change, what else can you expect?