Frank Gannucci
12-26-2014, 04:09 PM
Surprise! I was able to track down the audio of some of the short color sketches. These are some of them.
Episode Reviews: "Lawsuit" & "Hot Tips":
Episode #201
DVD: CBS, not MPI, MIGHT release this episode along with a few other short color sketches.
Alice is cleaning the window. Ralph comes out with a cast around his broken leg. Jackie did break his leg once during his variety show several weeks prior to making the lost episode version of this episode. That might have served as inspiration for the original script. Ralph wants a pad and paper. Alice: "Why can't you get it yourself?" Ralph says that he can't do anything in the condition that he is in. Alice: "How did you get out here?" Ralph: "Don't change the subject." Alice: "Will there be anything else, your majesty?" Ralph says that if that is her attitude, if he can't get something, he will do without it. That lasts for a few seconds. Typical Ralph. Ralph says that he will sue the bus company for $75,000. Alice says that after this ridiculous lawsuit, Ralph will have no job. Ralph: "I will be a millionaire." Doesn't Ralph know that when you sue someone, you are supposed to use the money to pay off the injury so to speak and Ralph must stink at Math for him to think he will be a millionaire with the money he will have left over. Ralph explains the whole accident. It was raining and the windshield wipers weren't working and because of that, he got into an accident. It was the bus company's responsibility to make sure that the wipers work. Ralph says with the dough, he will open up a grocery store in New Jersey. Ralph: "We will be living on Easy Street just because I broke my leg. I must be the luckiest guy in the world." Sure, he's lucky. Ralph: "This is the American dream."
Ed Norton comes in. Ralph explains that he is trying to put some weight on his broken leg. Ed: "Good. Progress." Ed cracks walnuts when Ralph is putting weight on his leg so Ralph thinks he broke his leg again and when he hears that was Ed cracking walnuts, he gets mad at Ed. Alice goes to see Trixie. Ed says he got off the phone with a lawyer and explained the whole case to him. According to the lawyer, the case is perfect. Ralph explains that to Alice and she says she will buy a mink coat. Ralph: "She is just jealous because I have the broken leg."
Ed explains an accident he had in the sewer once. A manhole cover fell on his head and since he couldn't prove it did any damage, the layers said he had no case. Ralph says soon he is going to start exercising and putting some weight on his leg. Ed: "You are just the boy that could do it." Ralph, exercising? That must be a sight to behold. Ed explains a similar situation that happened to his cousin Eddie involving chickens. His story was funny. Ed's case was entitled: "Rock Island Railroad Vs. Rhode Island Red." Ralph says that he is going to sue for $75,000. $50,000 for Ralph & $25,000 for Alice because she lost his services. How selfish is Ralph? Alice lost his services which are that he can't take her dancing because of his leg. Mr. Handleman, a lawyer from the Gotham Bus Company comes in and Ralph moans. The lawyer offers Ralph back pay for the time he missed while recuperating and complete payment of his medical bills, but Ralph refuses the offer. Ralph says that he is suing for $75,000. Ed: "And $25,000 for the loss of the service to his wife because he can't take her dancing." The lawyer says that that is an enormous figure. Ralph tears the forms. The lawyer leaves and wishes Ralph good luck. Ed says that Ralph has got his broken leg. He tries to hit it softly but ends up hurting Ralph.
Alice comes back. She saw and talked to the lawyer. This is the dumbest thing that Ralph ever did. Ralph: "You won't be saying that when we are living on Park Avenue." Alice: "I thought you were going to open a grocery store in Jersey." Ralph: "I'll commute." Ed's lawyer, Mr. Frasier comes in. The lawyer explains he whole case to everyone but says that the fault of the accident rests on the driver's shoulders. D'oh! Not something Ralph wanted to hear. Ralph explains that he was the driver. The lawyer, shocked leaves but not before saying that if the bus company offers him a settlement to take it. Ed leaves too. Ralph has no case after all, and, after kicking the adjuster out of the apartment, maybe no job either. Ed leaves. Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives Ralph. They hug and kiss.
During the curtain call, Jack praises the crowd.
During the end credits, the CBS announcer advertises the Minnesota Vikings/Dallas Cowboys in what was than called the NFL Playoff Bowl. Yes, V/O announcements over the credits happened in the 60s.
Episode #202
DVD: CBS, not MPI, MIGHT release this episode along with a few other short color sketches.
Color Episode Title: "Hot Tip."
Lost Episode Title: "Hot Tips."
Alice says he won't give Ralph the money. Mrs. Manicotti (played by a different woman) yells for Alice. She wants to talk to her. Alice says she is going down to Mrs. Maniicotti's. Ralph comes out. Ed comes down without knocking. Ralph: "Don't you ever knock?" Ed: "Of course not. If I did, you would think that it is the insurance man and when I do knock you will say:..." (in a falsetto voice): "'Don't come in. I am taking a bath in the sink.'" Ralph asks for money because he has a hot tip at the racetrack. Ed says he doesn't have any money. Ed asks where he got the tip. Ralph says that he got the hot tip when he went down to Pierre's Barber Shop. In the daytime, he got a call from Florida. (Gee, I wonder why he came up with Florida.) He didn't get the call after 9pm when the rates are cheap. The audience laughs. My, how times have changed as far as calling people go. He is the third horse in the seventh race. He suggests to Ed to bet on him too. Ed says no after the dream he had last night. He was in the sewer being chased by SIX allegators. All the manhole covers were locked except for the SIXTH one. He got out of that one. Than he was hit by a SIXTH Avenue bus that knocked him into the SIXTH Avenue deli. He was saved when he landed into a soup with SIX Motza balls. Ed: "Now, you know what number I am going to play." Ralph: "No. 6?" Ed: "No, number 9 because I was sleeping at the bottom of the bed so I thought all those sixes I was looking at were nines. We all know that an upside-down 6 is a 9."
Ralph & Ed go looking for the money that Alice has stashed away. One place that Ed wants to look at is in the drawer that Ralph claims has been sealed shut ever since they bought it. It must be a new dresser because the drawers where known to open from "A Woman's Work Is Never Done." The landlord comes in and asks Ralph to make a bet for Domar Ding Ding. Ralph complies. The landlord leaves. They resume searching for the money. Ralph says that Alice planned this whole thing and she is down at Manicotti's laughing at him. Ralph opens up the window and yells at Alice saying that he was going to let her in on the bet but now since she didn't lend him the money, she will get nothing. Ed has opened the drawer and found $30. Ralph is happy. Ralph yells to Alice: "It's taken me 17 years Alice but I have broken your code." I know that the Honeymooners were made 17 years prior but in the '53 version of "Honeymooners Christmas Party", Ralph says that him and Alice were married for 13 years.
The butcher comes by and asks Ralph to put $10 on Domar Ding Ding. Ralph complies. Mrs. Grogan comes in and asks a $5 bet for Domar Ding Ding. Ralph complies. Ed leaves. Mrs. Grogan leaves. The crowd cheers for some reason.
Ed comes up and says that Riley, the policeman coming up to the apartment (thinking that someone is being a bookie). Ralph and Ed panic so Ralph says to put it under the ice box, but Ed says that that won't work. The policeman knocks on the door. Norton tells Ralph to eat the list that he wrote the bets on. The cop asks for a $2 bet for the Daily Double numbers 3 & 8. He leaves. Ralph discovers that he didn't eat the list after all. (He supposedly ate the money.) I'm pretty sure Jackie didn't eat the money. All I can say is if Jackie really ate the money, I hope he didn't get sick. Ed says for Ralph to go to the track window and place the money that is in him and put it on Domar Ding Ding. Ed goes down to the landlord, the cop and Mrs. Grogan about the story. Ralph tries to tell her about the money. But, before he does it, Alice tells him that she has been saving money so she can buy a cashmere coat. She saw that one in a shop for $100. Mrs. Manicotti says that her son can get her the same coat for $40. She saved $30 so if she can get two more babysitting jobs this week, she will get $40. Alice has grandiose plans for her day of getting the coat with Ralph on a Saturday.
Ralph says that he loves Alice. He saw the coat but he says we can't pick up the coat on Saturday. Ralph says that he ate it. He rather not discuss it so he will take a $50 night. He tells her what happened. Alice says that Ralph needs to see a $10 doctor. He will make up the money by working overtime at the bus company so he will get the money for Alice so she can get the coat. They hug and kiss.
During the curtain call, Jack praises the crowd.
During the credit roll, Johnny Olsen advertises who is going to appear on next week's episode. He actually takes a break before announcing more stars on next week's show. That was odd.
Episode Reviews: "Lawsuit" & "Hot Tips":
Episode #201
DVD: CBS, not MPI, MIGHT release this episode along with a few other short color sketches.
Alice is cleaning the window. Ralph comes out with a cast around his broken leg. Jackie did break his leg once during his variety show several weeks prior to making the lost episode version of this episode. That might have served as inspiration for the original script. Ralph wants a pad and paper. Alice: "Why can't you get it yourself?" Ralph says that he can't do anything in the condition that he is in. Alice: "How did you get out here?" Ralph: "Don't change the subject." Alice: "Will there be anything else, your majesty?" Ralph says that if that is her attitude, if he can't get something, he will do without it. That lasts for a few seconds. Typical Ralph. Ralph says that he will sue the bus company for $75,000. Alice says that after this ridiculous lawsuit, Ralph will have no job. Ralph: "I will be a millionaire." Doesn't Ralph know that when you sue someone, you are supposed to use the money to pay off the injury so to speak and Ralph must stink at Math for him to think he will be a millionaire with the money he will have left over. Ralph explains the whole accident. It was raining and the windshield wipers weren't working and because of that, he got into an accident. It was the bus company's responsibility to make sure that the wipers work. Ralph says with the dough, he will open up a grocery store in New Jersey. Ralph: "We will be living on Easy Street just because I broke my leg. I must be the luckiest guy in the world." Sure, he's lucky. Ralph: "This is the American dream."
Ed Norton comes in. Ralph explains that he is trying to put some weight on his broken leg. Ed: "Good. Progress." Ed cracks walnuts when Ralph is putting weight on his leg so Ralph thinks he broke his leg again and when he hears that was Ed cracking walnuts, he gets mad at Ed. Alice goes to see Trixie. Ed says he got off the phone with a lawyer and explained the whole case to him. According to the lawyer, the case is perfect. Ralph explains that to Alice and she says she will buy a mink coat. Ralph: "She is just jealous because I have the broken leg."
Ed explains an accident he had in the sewer once. A manhole cover fell on his head and since he couldn't prove it did any damage, the layers said he had no case. Ralph says soon he is going to start exercising and putting some weight on his leg. Ed: "You are just the boy that could do it." Ralph, exercising? That must be a sight to behold. Ed explains a similar situation that happened to his cousin Eddie involving chickens. His story was funny. Ed's case was entitled: "Rock Island Railroad Vs. Rhode Island Red." Ralph says that he is going to sue for $75,000. $50,000 for Ralph & $25,000 for Alice because she lost his services. How selfish is Ralph? Alice lost his services which are that he can't take her dancing because of his leg. Mr. Handleman, a lawyer from the Gotham Bus Company comes in and Ralph moans. The lawyer offers Ralph back pay for the time he missed while recuperating and complete payment of his medical bills, but Ralph refuses the offer. Ralph says that he is suing for $75,000. Ed: "And $25,000 for the loss of the service to his wife because he can't take her dancing." The lawyer says that that is an enormous figure. Ralph tears the forms. The lawyer leaves and wishes Ralph good luck. Ed says that Ralph has got his broken leg. He tries to hit it softly but ends up hurting Ralph.
Alice comes back. She saw and talked to the lawyer. This is the dumbest thing that Ralph ever did. Ralph: "You won't be saying that when we are living on Park Avenue." Alice: "I thought you were going to open a grocery store in Jersey." Ralph: "I'll commute." Ed's lawyer, Mr. Frasier comes in. The lawyer explains he whole case to everyone but says that the fault of the accident rests on the driver's shoulders. D'oh! Not something Ralph wanted to hear. Ralph explains that he was the driver. The lawyer, shocked leaves but not before saying that if the bus company offers him a settlement to take it. Ed leaves too. Ralph has no case after all, and, after kicking the adjuster out of the apartment, maybe no job either. Ed leaves. Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives Ralph. They hug and kiss.
During the curtain call, Jack praises the crowd.
During the end credits, the CBS announcer advertises the Minnesota Vikings/Dallas Cowboys in what was than called the NFL Playoff Bowl. Yes, V/O announcements over the credits happened in the 60s.
Episode #202
DVD: CBS, not MPI, MIGHT release this episode along with a few other short color sketches.
Color Episode Title: "Hot Tip."
Lost Episode Title: "Hot Tips."
Alice says he won't give Ralph the money. Mrs. Manicotti (played by a different woman) yells for Alice. She wants to talk to her. Alice says she is going down to Mrs. Maniicotti's. Ralph comes out. Ed comes down without knocking. Ralph: "Don't you ever knock?" Ed: "Of course not. If I did, you would think that it is the insurance man and when I do knock you will say:..." (in a falsetto voice): "'Don't come in. I am taking a bath in the sink.'" Ralph asks for money because he has a hot tip at the racetrack. Ed says he doesn't have any money. Ed asks where he got the tip. Ralph says that he got the hot tip when he went down to Pierre's Barber Shop. In the daytime, he got a call from Florida. (Gee, I wonder why he came up with Florida.) He didn't get the call after 9pm when the rates are cheap. The audience laughs. My, how times have changed as far as calling people go. He is the third horse in the seventh race. He suggests to Ed to bet on him too. Ed says no after the dream he had last night. He was in the sewer being chased by SIX allegators. All the manhole covers were locked except for the SIXTH one. He got out of that one. Than he was hit by a SIXTH Avenue bus that knocked him into the SIXTH Avenue deli. He was saved when he landed into a soup with SIX Motza balls. Ed: "Now, you know what number I am going to play." Ralph: "No. 6?" Ed: "No, number 9 because I was sleeping at the bottom of the bed so I thought all those sixes I was looking at were nines. We all know that an upside-down 6 is a 9."
Ralph & Ed go looking for the money that Alice has stashed away. One place that Ed wants to look at is in the drawer that Ralph claims has been sealed shut ever since they bought it. It must be a new dresser because the drawers where known to open from "A Woman's Work Is Never Done." The landlord comes in and asks Ralph to make a bet for Domar Ding Ding. Ralph complies. The landlord leaves. They resume searching for the money. Ralph says that Alice planned this whole thing and she is down at Manicotti's laughing at him. Ralph opens up the window and yells at Alice saying that he was going to let her in on the bet but now since she didn't lend him the money, she will get nothing. Ed has opened the drawer and found $30. Ralph is happy. Ralph yells to Alice: "It's taken me 17 years Alice but I have broken your code." I know that the Honeymooners were made 17 years prior but in the '53 version of "Honeymooners Christmas Party", Ralph says that him and Alice were married for 13 years.
The butcher comes by and asks Ralph to put $10 on Domar Ding Ding. Ralph complies. Mrs. Grogan comes in and asks a $5 bet for Domar Ding Ding. Ralph complies. Ed leaves. Mrs. Grogan leaves. The crowd cheers for some reason.
Ed comes up and says that Riley, the policeman coming up to the apartment (thinking that someone is being a bookie). Ralph and Ed panic so Ralph says to put it under the ice box, but Ed says that that won't work. The policeman knocks on the door. Norton tells Ralph to eat the list that he wrote the bets on. The cop asks for a $2 bet for the Daily Double numbers 3 & 8. He leaves. Ralph discovers that he didn't eat the list after all. (He supposedly ate the money.) I'm pretty sure Jackie didn't eat the money. All I can say is if Jackie really ate the money, I hope he didn't get sick. Ed says for Ralph to go to the track window and place the money that is in him and put it on Domar Ding Ding. Ed goes down to the landlord, the cop and Mrs. Grogan about the story. Ralph tries to tell her about the money. But, before he does it, Alice tells him that she has been saving money so she can buy a cashmere coat. She saw that one in a shop for $100. Mrs. Manicotti says that her son can get her the same coat for $40. She saved $30 so if she can get two more babysitting jobs this week, she will get $40. Alice has grandiose plans for her day of getting the coat with Ralph on a Saturday.
Ralph says that he loves Alice. He saw the coat but he says we can't pick up the coat on Saturday. Ralph says that he ate it. He rather not discuss it so he will take a $50 night. He tells her what happened. Alice says that Ralph needs to see a $10 doctor. He will make up the money by working overtime at the bus company so he will get the money for Alice so she can get the coat. They hug and kiss.
During the curtain call, Jack praises the crowd.
During the credit roll, Johnny Olsen advertises who is going to appear on next week's episode. He actually takes a break before announcing more stars on next week's show. That was odd.