(Ralph & Ed are in Ed's apartment.)

Ralph: "Thanks to Columbus Day Norton, some people have the day off but we didn't."

Ed: "Too bad. Let's celebrate Columbus Day by watching all of our movies that were directed by a guy named Chris Columbus."

Ralph: "That would be a good idea but just think of what it was like for the real Christopher Columbus. Sailing all the way from Italy to what is now the USA. Some people actually thought that he was nuts and was going to fall off the face of the earth because people thought that the world was flat than. All I know is that if I were Christopher Columbus, my own Isabella would think that I am nuts as usual."

Ed: "You're own Isabella? Your wife is Alice."

Ralph: "Norton, you are an idiot. When I said my own Isabella, I meant Alice."

Ed: "Oh."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, just think of what it was like sailing all that time with the ships going up and down and up and down and up and down..."

(Ralph looks like he is sick.)

Ed: "...and up and down and up and down..."

Ralph (yells): "STOP THAT!"

Ed: "Sorry I will. I am honored to work in the sewer knowing full well that the waters Columbus sailed on flowed right into my place of work."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "Time to relax Ed."

Ed: "Hey I think there is an episode of Captain Video that deals with Christopher Columbus. Let's watch that."

Ralph: "Norton, we are NOT watching that. Hey, let's watch this documentary about Christopher Columbus on TV. It should fatten our minds."

Ed: "Your mind will be fattened like your stomach."

Ralph: "OOOOOH, YOU ARE A RIOT NORTON!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Crowd applauds.)

Jackie: "Ladies and gentlemen, ART CARNEY."

(Crowd applauds as Art comes on screen and shakes Gleason's hand.)

Jackie: "GOOD NIGHT!"