Post your favorite quotes & lines from Friends:

Joey: "Some girl ate Monica."
Monica: "The camera adds 10 pounds."
Chandler: "So how many cameras were actually on you?"

Joey: "Okay man, I didn't want to bring this up but Chandler is the stupidest name I've ever heard in my whole life. It's not even a name, it's barely even a word. It's kind of like chandelier but it's not. It's a stupid, stupid non-name."

Joey - "Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?"
Ross - "Yeah, sure."
Joey - "By someone other than Monica?"

Monica - "Pete said when he gets back from Atlanta, we have to talk."
Joey - "That doesn't necessarily mean he's breaking up with you."
Monica - "Really?"
Joey - "Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you."

Ross (to Chandler/Joey): "WE WERE ON A BREAK!" Chandler: "Oh my God if you say that one more time, I'm gonna break up with you."

Phoebe: "...she cursed him and turned his thingy green."

Joey: "Moot.....it's like a cow's opinion...it doesn't matter."

joey its a moo point

Phoebe - "Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say. It could say 'Ross Gellar, Good at Marriage!' Ya know? Mine's gonna say 'Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive'."

Chandler - "Oh my god, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?"

Monica - "Do you really want to pull at that thread?"

A Joey & Monica quote:

A Ross & Joey quote:

A Joey quote:

A Monica quote:

A Monica Gellar quote:

A Joey and Rachel quote:

A Joey & Rachel quote:

A Joey quote:

A Gunther & Joey quote:

A Joey quote: :lol:

A Gunther quote:

A Joey quote:

Another Joey quote:

"Ugly Naked Guy Is Jumping on a trampoline/Has Gravity Boots/Has a Thighmaster/etc."

Phoebe: "Wow. Joey and a professor. Can you imagine if they had kids? And if-if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism? Those nerds would get laaaid."

Chandler - "Listen Eddie, um I've been thinking about our current living situation, and uh why are you smiling?"
Eddie - "I got a surprise for you. Look there's a new fishie. I named him
uh, Chandler. You know, after you."
Chandler - "Well that's not even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker."
Eddie - "What's your point man?"

Eddie - "Pecan Sandy? Just made them."
Chandler - "Yeah all right. What are these, raisins?"
Eddie - "Uh sure. Why not?"

Quotes from Eddie & Chandler:

Quotes from Eddie Moves In:

Ross & Joey quotes:

Chandler: "Ding-dong...the psycho's gone."

Ross (to Joey): "It tastes like feet." Joey: "I like it." Ross: "Are you kidding?" Joey: "What's not to like? Custard? Goood. Jam? Good. Meat? GOOOD."

The one where Phoebe is singing about shampoos (may or may not have been the "Smelly Cat" episode):

"Lather, rinse, re-pe-eat, lather, rinse, re-pe-eat, lather, rinse, repeat as needed..."

:crazy:

A Joey quote:

Joey (to Chandler): "Okay buddy boy here it is: You hide all my clothes, I'm wearin' everything you own." Chandler: "Oh my God!..." Joey: "Look at me! I'm Chandler. Could I be wearin' any more clothes?...Maybe if I wasn't goin'...commando." (Chandler makes a sound.)

Has got to be Chandler:

But...unfortunately...my company...is transferring me overseas.

Stunning delivery by Matthew Perry as usual :)

(A tipsy Monica to her parents)

Monica -"That's right mom and dad your little harmonica is hammered."

(Monica to Rachel)

Monica - "I'm Rachel, I Love Ross. I hate Ross. I Love Ross. I hate Ross."

Ross (to Rachel): "It was a mistake. I made a mistake, okay?" Rachel: "A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in, her purse?!"

Phoebe: "Where did he put it??"

Ross (to Rachel): "Guess whose middle name is Muriel." Rachel (gasps): "Chandler M. Bing." Ross: "Yuh-huh."

Funny quotes/lines from Joey:

Another Joey quote/line:

More quotes/lines:

Another Joey quote:

A Chandler line:

Another Chandler line:

Ross, Joey & Phoebe lines:

Rachel: "What are you thankful for? Mommy's boobies?" Ross: "A lot of people are thankful for those."

Amy: "Let me tell you somethin': Your baby isn't even that cute." Ross: "Too far, Amy. Too far." Rachel: "You take that back." Amy: "No."

Monica: "Put the plates back in the box! Put the plates back in the box!!"

Ross & Chandler lines from when Ross gets the spray tan.

Rachel looking for Chandler on the balcony to ask him about that english trifle desert...the scene when they get back in is killing me everytime: "So a bird just grabbed it...?"

(While watching sumo wrestling.)
Ross: "Ironically these are the guys who were picked last in gym."

http://www.hollywood.com/news/tv/58089818/chandler-s-best-jokes

With "Friends" coming to Netflix in January, we can't wait to relive one of our favorite characters one-liners and endless sarcasm.

A Joey & Rachel quote:

Ross quote

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/8f/82/23/8f82237aff925de7d1e636d60756eeb1.jpg

A Joey quote:

Joey: The refrigerator went on the fritz. . . .so I hadda eat all the food.

Phoebe - "Oh this is so hot!"

Joey (to Chandler): "You son of a bitch." Chandler: "Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?"

Chandler (to Monica): "We're gettin' a house." Monica: "And a baby." Chandler: "We're growing up." Monica: "We sure are."

Rachel: "...I needed my lucky dress." Monica: "And lucky means more cleavage?" Chandler: "Does for me."

Rachel: "My lucky dress wasn't working out too well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed."

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mlg263/who-said-it-jennifer-lawrence-or-joey-tribbiani-nvr5

All hail the pizza gods.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/if-chandler-bing-quotes-were-motivational-posters

“I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day.”

Who Said It: The “Friends” Edition (http://www.buzzfeed.com/maggiemclaughlin/can-you-match-the-famous-friends-quote-to-the-ch-14y7g)

Chandler and Joey lines.

A Chandler & Ross quote:

A Rachel & Phoebe quote:

Can We Guess Which “Friends” Quote Sums Up Your Twenties? (http://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/can-we-guess-which-friends-quote-sums-up-your-twenties)

http://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/theres-something-wrong-with-the-left-phalange

The series finale of Friends aired 11 years ago today.

A Rachel and Chandler quote:

A Chandler quote:

A Joey & Ross quote about Rachel's cooking:

Monica & Chandler quotes/lines:

Ross: "People are doing it in front of my book."

Chandler (to Joey): "You're a frightening, frightening man."

http://www.buzzfeed.com/chelseatot/can-you-guess-which-friends-character-said-it-1olmv

"Sure I peed on her. And if I had to, I'd pee on any one of you!"

^ That's a Joey quote, right? ^


A Phoebe quote:

Could These Chandler Bing Quotes BE More Sarcastic? (http://uproxx.com/tv/2015/08/best-chandler-bing-quotes-friends/)

^ That's a Joey quote, right? ^


A Phoebe quote:

It is a Joey quote.

^Joey and Chandler had some of the best lines.^

A Phoebe quote:

The 23 Best Lines From Ross Geller On “Friends” (http://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/the-best-lines-from-ross-geller-on-friends)

A Ross quote:

A Phoebe quote:

Joey quotes:

A Roy the Stripper quote:

A Chandler quote:

A Rachel & Joey quote:

A Friends quote:

This Is The “Friends” Quote Your Heart Needs Right Now (http://www.buzzfeed.com/caseyrackham/theyll-be-there-for-you)

This Is The “Friends” Quote Your Heart Needs Right Now (http://www.buzzfeed.com/caseyrackham/theyll-be-there-for-you)


I got Joey's quote.

A Monica & Joey quote:

49 "Friends" Lines For When You Need An Instagram Caption (http://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/friends-quotes-for-when-you-need-an-instagram-caption)

A Ross quote:

Ross: Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk with you about something I'm really uncomfortable talking about.
Joey: Sure. How about, uh, you showering with your mom?
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind.

23 Of Monica Geller's Most Iconic Lines On "Friends" (http://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/monica-gellers-most-iconic-lines-on-friends)

A Joey & Rachel line/quote:

Friends: Ross’ 10 Funniest Quotes (http://www.fame10.com/entertainment/friends-ross-10-funniest-quotes/)

A Joey quote:

Friends: Ross’ 10 Funniest Quotes (http://www.fame10.com/entertainment/friends-ross-10-funniest-quotes/)


This show has so many funny lines & quotes.

Alt. Rachel: " I guess woman aren't that great either, huh?"
Alt. Ross: "Try telling my wife that."

Rachel: "Have you ever seen so much crap?"
Chandler: "Actually I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap."

Monica: "Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!"

Rachel: "That was - surreal."

Chandler & Joey quotes/lines:

A Ross & Chandler quote/lines:

23 "Friends" Quotes That Never Stop Being Funny (https://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/ah-salmon-skin-roll)

I've got a few good quotes.

Rachel's sister Amy comes to visit her after she's had Emma. Amy is talking to Rachel about how she decorated their dad's office.
Amy: "So what new with you?"
Rachel: "Quite a bit actually, I had a baby."
Amy: "Oh, well I redecorated dad's office and bought him a new desk."
Rachel: "Unless you pushed the desk out of your vagina, not the same thing."

Phoebe(to Monica): "What is that on your neck? Is that a hickey?"
Monica: "Oh that, I fell down."
Rachel: "On someone's lips?"

Everyone is gushing over new baby, Emma. Monica is holding her.
Monica: "Oh my God, she's amazing. I'm so glad you two got drunk and had sex!"

Chandler and Monica are sitting in the hallway after Thanksgiving dinner. They are talking about Rachel's sister, Amy because she had thrown a fit about Ross and Rachel not giving her Emma if they die. Ross and Rachel felt she was too irresponsible to take care of a baby. I love what Monica says to Chandler.
Monica: "Ross and Rachel shouldn't talk about Amy being irresponsible. Emma is here because of a bottle of Merlot and a 5 year old condom."

I've got a few good quotes.

Rachel's sister Amy comes to visit her after she's had Emma. Amy is talking to Rachel about how she decorated their dad's office.
Amy: "So what new with you?"
Rachel: "Quite a bit actually, I had a baby."
Amy: "Oh, well I redecorated dad's office and bought him a new desk."
Rachel: "Unless you pushed the desk out of your vagina, not the same thing."

Phoebe(to Monica): "What is that on your neck? Is that a hickey?"
Monica: "Oh that, I fell down."
Rachel: "On someone's lips?"

Everyone is gushing over new baby, Emma. Monica is holding her.
Monica: "Oh my God, she's amazing. I'm so glad you two got drunk and had sex!"

Chandler and Monica are sitting in the hallway after Thanksgiving dinner. They are talking about Rachel's sister, Amy because she had thrown a fit about Ross and Rachel not giving her Emma if they die. Ross and Rachel felt she was too irresponsible to take care of a baby. I love what Monica says to Chandler.
Monica: "Ross and Rachel shouldn't talk about Amy being irresponsible. Emma is here because of a bottle of Merlot and a 5 year old condom."


^ Those are good ones!

Chandler & Joey lines/quotes:

A Joey and Chandler quote:

A Joey quote: The fridge was broken so I had to eat all the food.
That's the line that alwsys makes me laugh out loud
when I hear it.

^ Yeah that's a funny one, Joey has some good quotes. ^

More Friends quotes:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/can-you-finish-these-iconic-chandler-bing-quotes-from-friend

Joey doesn't share food!

Ross: (to Chandler) "Is that an insult?"
Chandler: "Don't know. too exhausted."

Chandler: "Love your condoms, my man."

Can You Finish These Classic Phoebe Buffay Lines? (https://www.buzzfeed.com/alivelez/can-you-finish-these-classic-phoebe-buffay-lines)

Monica and Chandler quotes/lines:

A Chandler line/quote:

Monica: (to Joey)"Oh my God. What were you doing in a library?"

Phoebe quote:

Monica, Ross & Chandler quotes:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/caseyrackham/friends-jokes-we-all-need-right-now

"If a woman tells me she just wants be friends I say ok but I get to be Rachel."

A Ross quote:

Another Ross quote:

Monica: (on phone) "Uh, Rachel has left the building....can you call back?"

Rachel: "Weather bitch."

Joey: "WOMEN ARE MEAN!!!"

Ross: "Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast?"
Rachel: "Fourteen??"
Ross: "No, nineteen."
Chandler: "Thanks man."

Ross: "...I felt something."
Chandler: "Was it like a sneeze only better?"

19 Jokes About "Friends" That Are Funny Because They're True (https://www.buzzfeed.com/hattiesoykan/friends-jokes-funny-true)

The whole Smelly Cat song

Rachel & Ross quotes:

9SXCXTgzYWg?t=2m8s

Start the video at 2:08

Monica: "I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob."

Ross and Rachel trying to decide on names for the baby.

Rachel: (singing)"Come and knock on our door..."
Monica: (singing)"We'll be waiting for you."

Ross: "I can't get it out."
Phoebe: "That's not something a girl wants to hear."

A Phoebe quote:

Joey: "Stupid closet full of bugs."

Rachel: "Okay, no uterus, no opinion."

Chandler (to Joey): "So. How's the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?"
Joey: "Uh really good, really good. Yeah. I should be ready to kill myself, any day now."

Joey: "We're going to say 'hi' to the chick and the duck."
Phoebe: "Oh, me too!"
Joey: "Why would you need to say 'hi' to them? You've been feedin' them for four days."
Phoebe: "Oh; right. Maybe I'll just go home."

Phoebe: "Why won't he give it up?"
Joey: "Maybe he, uh, drives his car on the other side of the road if you know what you mean."

Phoebe: "...I definitely felt something."
Rachel: "Yeah but how much can you tell from a look?"
Phoebe: "No no. I felt it on my hip. I could tell."

Joey: Rach, you gotta find out if he's in the same place you are. Otherwise, it's just a moo point.

Rachel: A moo point?

Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.

Rachel: Have I been living with him too long or did that all just make sense?

Rachel: "...erotically charged."
Joey: "Is that college talk for 'horny'?"
Rachel: "Yeah."

Monica: There's nothing to tell! ...
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! ...
Chandler: Alright Joey, be nice. ...
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?[The others stare, bemused]
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax

Chandler: "Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding."
Phoebe: "Then I've already seen this."
(She turns off the TV.)

"I like it. What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Good." - Joey

Chandler: "Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding."
Phoebe: "Then I've already seen this."
(She turns off the TV.)

One of my all-time favorite quotes. I loved the early years, especially when they watched a lot of television. You rarely saw that in the later years.

"But they don't know that we know they know we know!" - Phoebe

Chandler: "Really...bitchin."
Phoebe: "Wow. It was so...wow."

Rachel: "Oh, I can't believe I ever let him touch me with those fingers."

Monica: "You know, there's a Starbucks about three blocks down."
Phoebe: "So inspired. Just look at him - look at him go."

Joey: (to interviewer)"I don't even know any huge gay people."
Chandler: "It hurts me. It physically hurts me."

Monica: (to Chandler)"My milk's gone bad."
Chandler: "Oh. I hate that. I once had a thing of half-and-half, stole my car."

[Ross is trying to talk Rachel's boss into giving her her job back so she won't go to Paris; Mr. Zelner has a son who is also named Ross]

Ross: Does little Ross like dinosaurs by any chance?

Mr. Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?

Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants.

[Mr. Zelner looks shocked]

Ross: I just heard it as you must have heard it and that's not good. Let me start again. I'm a paleontologist, you'll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones - fossils!

Ross: What are you doing tonight?

Chandler: Why, do you have a lecture?

Ross: No.

Chandler: Free as a bird, what's up?

Ross: "No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No, Tony, look at the cranial ridge. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flinstones."

Monica: Now come on, Chandler, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?

Chandler: They were just giving it away at the mall...

[Monica stares]

Chandler: ...in exchange for money.

Chandler & Eddie quote/lines:

Chandler: Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out!
Eddie: What?
Chandler: You. Move out! Take your fruit. Your stupid small fruit and get out!
Eddie: You want me to move out?
Chandler: Uh huh.
Eddie: I gotta tell you man, that's kind of out of the blue. Don't you think?
Chandler: This is not out of the blue. This is smack-dab in the middle of the blue!

Phoebe: (holds up picture)"...since you were, what, about fourteen?'
Rachel: "No, I was ten. I just developed early."
Phoebe: "Man alive!"

If you go with Bonnie you're doing the smart, sensible thing and moving on, and, if you go with Rachel, does that mean Bonnie's free tonight?
- Joey

A Chandler quote/line:

[Joey has packed an emergency kit with food, Mad-Libs and condoms]
Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

Joey: "It's my VISA bill. ‘Envelope one of two.’ That can't be good."

Monica: I'm Rachel. I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross.

Rachel: I'm Monica. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there.

Phoebe: (singing)
"Jingle bitch screwed me over.
Go to hell, jingle whore.
Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell-ell-ell."

Phoebe: [Right after playing a song in the coffee shop ] If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

Joey: "I don't have another level!"

Monica: (to Rachel)""One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open."

Rachel: Hey, just so you know: it's NOT that common, it DOESN’T ‘happen to every guy,’ and it IS a big deal!

Chandler: "I am proud of all my friends today."

Chandler: "I am no woman, but that is one tasty dish."

Chandler: "Oh my God! Where are all the men?!?"

Ross: "I haven't had sex in four months. I should get a medal for that."

Rachel: "In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it."

Chandler: "You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes."

Joey: "That's some gentle comedy, dude."

Joey: "Well played, Phoebe Buffay. Well played."

Chandler: "The floating heads do make a point."

Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get you?

Chandler: "Who says you can't get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks?"

Phoebe: "I'm curious about the human body."

Phoebe: "...if he couldn't teach us about dragons?"
Monica: "Dinosaurs."
Phoebe: "Potayto, potahtah."

Phoebe: No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.

Joey: (to Rachel)"...This roommate of yours. Is he good-lookin?"
Rachel: "Mm-hmmm."

Ross: (to Joey): "Hello, didn't you read The Lord of the Rings in high school?"
Joey: "No. I had sex in high school."

http://stylearena.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/friends-tv-show-quotes6.jpg

Monica: "I gotta go powder my ass."

Chandler: "This game makes no sense!"

Chandler: "...I think we're all losers here."

Phoebe: "I have new respect for Chandler."

Chandler: (sarcastic)"This is the best game ever!"

Ross: (sarcastic) "Sure, because women never like Joey. You know, I think he's gay."

Joey: Okay, you guys, I've got a little more written... are you ready?

Chandler: Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Joey: When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I cannot help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving... and then I can't think of a good word for right here.

Monica: How bout receiving?

Joey: Yes!

Ross: "Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today."

Ross: (to Rachel)"So you're sayin'...if I wear these pants, I might be gettin' into hers?"
Rachel: (to Phoebe)'"Why do men keep talking to me like this?"

Rachel: "What about you, Joe? What would you give up? Sex or food?"
Joey: "Um, uh, I don't know. It's too hard..."

Rachel: "Oh, look at her...so happy."

Joey: "Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this?"

Amy: Nana is on the phone.

Rachel: Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!

Amy: She did? Who got her condo in Boca?

Charlie: Wait, are you talking about the Dewar grant?

Ross: Yeah, why?

Charlie: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.

Ross: Your ex-boyfriend?

Charlie: Yeah.

Ross: So your ex-boyfriend is going to determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed.

Phoebe: Marriage might be different with somebody else. Like, perhaps, a blonde who always uses a toilet!

Chandler: I think, for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.

Chandler & Eddie line/quotes:

Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she's like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!

Joey: "You know what's a good visual aid?"
Ross: "Please don't say 'naked chicks'."
Joey: "Why not?"

Ross: "I'm just gonna do it on my own, with no naked chicks."
Chandler: "That's the way I did it 'til I was 19."

Emily's Father: [to his wife] Come on, buggerface!

Andrea Waltham: [smacks Ross on her way out] Call me!

"The One with the Inappropriate Sister" where Chandler and Ross are rehearsing Joey's play where they are making up and Chandler reads the line Joey wrote "Could i be more sorry?". LOL.

Joey: Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche?

Passer-by: Maybe because you've got the keys?

Chandler: "Did you do it on our invitations?"
Ross: "Not the ones we sent out."

Chandler: "That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex!"

Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first paycheck, there was a cave-in in one of the mines.

Monica: "...I own this game."

Ross: "What is Chandler Bing's job?"

Monica: "THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!"

Phoebe: (singing)
"Are you in there, little fetus?
In nine months will you come greet us?

I will... buy you some Adidas."


Rachel: "You know what? You are mean boys. You are just being mean."

Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.

Joey: Jet aplee blooo.

Ross: Im going to make myself happy.

Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room?

Joey: Dude, stop talkin' crazy and make us some tea!

Joey: You guys are not gonna believe this. I just talked to my agent and ..

Phoebe: Oh my... [Joey looks surprisingly] I'm sorry. Too soon. You Go..

Monica & Chandler:

Chandler: "And by 'face,' I don't mean my ass."

Joey: "Rachel is mean."

Ross: "You have to respect the sea."

Ross: "I've got shuffleboard that day."
Phoebe: "That's what you think."

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.
— Joey Tribbiani

(A drunk Ross) & Charlie:

Monica: "Sometimes it's 'who'!"
(Ross replies.)

Rachel: "You know, if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune."

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

— Chandler Muriel Bing

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

— Joey Tribbiani

Monica: (to Chandler)"Thank you, roomie."
Chandler: "No problem."

Rachel: Wha... married?

Ross: Well, yeah, I think we should get married!

Rachel: What? Because that's your answer to everything?

Chandler: (to Monica)"You know what would work? Stop making candy."
Monica: "But they like it."
Chandler: "You mean they like you."
Monica: "Maybe."
Chandler: "Is that why you became a chef, so that people would like you?"
Monica: "You really want to talk about gettin' people to like you, huh, funny man?"

Ross: (o.s.)"WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
(Joey and Chandler enter.)
Chandler: (to Monica)"Coffee house?"
Monica: "You bet."

Chandler: "Does that room have a closet I can lock him in?"

Monica: "She made fun of my phone pin!"

Monica: "It needs to go about twenty blocks to the left."

Ross: "What kind of idiot do you take me for?"

Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.


Joey: Jet aplee blooo.

Joey: "Does not calling it mean anything anymore?"

Chandler: "She wanted to sleep with Batman, instead she settled for Robin."

Joey: "Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life. We look at you, and we see you together, and it just... it-it fits, you know? And you just know it's going to last forever."

But they don't know that we know they know we know!

— Phoebe Buffay

Phoebe: "Oh. There's no such thing as an innocent burger."

Chandler: "Naked friends."

Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up and move it. All we need is teamwork, okay? We're gonna lift the car... and slide it out. Lift... and slide.

Rachel: Ross, I really don't think...

Ross: Lift... and slide.

Jill: (to Ross)"And you. I throw myself at you and you say 'no'? How gay are you?"

Ross: "Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!"
Chandler: "Shut up! Shut up! Shut. Uuup!"

Monica: My motto is get out before they go down.


Joey: That is so not my motto.

Monica: (stomping)"Stop it, stop it, stop it!"
Chandler: "Now this feels like Thanksgiving."

Chandler: "...I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked."
(They clink their glasses together.)
The others: "That's..."
Ross: "And hey. Here's to a lousy Christmas."
Rachel: "And a crappy New Year."
All six: (unison)"Hear, hear!"

Rachel: So basically you get your ya-yas from taking money from all of your friends?

Ross: Yeah.

Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less, so...

Monica: "Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!"

Rachel: "Whatever happened to just singin' for no reason?"

Phoebe: (to Chandler)"Where are you going, Mr. Suity Man?"

Joey: (to Monica)"Don't you put words in people's mouths. You put turkey in people's mouths."

Monica: "This is between me, and me!"

Phoebe:

Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely don’t like the name Ross.


Ross: What a weird way to kick me when I’m down.

Charlie & Rachel:

“Monica: My motto is get out before they go down.


Joey: That is so not my motto.”

“Joey: Uh, uh, we'll flip for it, ducks or clowns.

Chandler: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?

Joey: You got a better idea?

Chandler: All right, call it in the air.

Joey: Heads.

Chandler: Heads it is.

Joey: Yess! Whoo!

Chandler: We have to assign heads to something!

Joey: Right, okay, okay, uhhh, ducks is heads, because ducks...have heads.

Chandler: What kinda scary-ass clowns came to your birthday!?”

“Joey: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?

Chandler: You think that's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.”

— Betsy Borns

Monica: "...a picture of Scotty Jarrett naked."
Rachel: "Hey, he's wearin a sweater!"
Monica: "Noo."
Phoebe & Rachel: (in unison) "Eww!"

“Joey: Hey, Ross, I got a science question: If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens...is that why they're extinct?

Ross: Joey, Homo sapiens are PEOPLE.

Joey: Hey, I'm not judgin'!”

Chandler: (to Monica)"The front page? You really do live in your own little world, don't you?"

Rachel: "Here I am, about to pop, and he's out pickin' up some shop girl at Sluts R Us?"
Phoebe: "Is that a real place? Are they hiring?"

Joey: "Don't make me come up there."

Monica: "The vein has spoken."

Monica: "This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass!!"

Phoebe: "I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop"

Phoebe: "And-and girls, this thing is a godsend, if you know what I mean."
(As the six disperse, Rachel grabs the giant ball and takes it with her.)

Chandler: "Monica's wasted."
Ross: "Maybe that will liven up this party."

Ross: "Maybe I'm a little drunk."

(Chandler's holding up Monica, who's drunk.)
Jack: "Hey, Chandler. Your can't keep your hands off her for one second."
Judy: "I think it's nice."
Chandler: "I think it's necessary."

Monica: There's nothing to tell. He's just some guy I work with.
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy. There's gotta be something wrong with him.
Chandler: So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? [The others stare, bemused] It's just that I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl - ohh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. Relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner, and not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.

Director: "All right. It's time to act, my talking props."

Ross: "This is the coolest house ever!"

Chandler: "Heyy, my father's house does that."

Monica: What are you guys gonna do?
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer.
Chandler: Well, I think, I think... Ross already has one.
Monica: Yeah, yeah, that guy's finally gonna be able to put in that pool.
Ross: Ha, okay...
Chandler: Now, this one's free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so you get the third one for free...
Ross: Laugh it up! ...but the joke's on you... because we don't need to get divorced... okay? We're just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment?! Ross... I don't think surgery's the answer here!

Rachel: "Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?"
Monica: "We got some time."
Rachel: "Okay, should we get some coffee?"
Chandler: "Sure... Where?"

Ross: "Challenge extended."

Monica: ".. we steal that TV Guide every week!"
Chandler: "I knew it!"

Chandler: "Cool. Girl roommate."

Chandler: (to Joey)"Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister."
Joey: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA... Which sister?"

Phoebe: (to Chandler)"Call her. Stop being so testosteroney."

Ross: "Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap."

"He's so pretty, I want to cry." —Rachel Green

(All of these are from the same episode.)

Chandler: "After they moved into their own place, the houseboy got his own houseboy."

Ross: "In this life, Phoebe."

(Thanksgiving 1992)
Phoebe: (to Joey)"Of course it smells bad, you have your head up a dead animal's ass."

Monica: "Phoebe, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can."
(Joey laughs.)
Monica: "Joey, now is not the time!"
Joey: "Sorry, sorry, sorry."

(Thanksgiving 1987)
Rachel: "...a guy's thing is not called 'his tenderness'. Believe me."

(Thanksgiving 1988)
Rachel: (to Monica) "Okay, first of all, if you keep calling' it that, no one's ever gonna take it."

Joey: "...1999. The year of Joey."

Chandler: "What an interesting approach to guitar instruction."

Chandler: "Phoebs, flying a jet. Better make it a spaceship, so you can get back to your home planet. And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones. He wants his pants back!

And Hornswoggle? What are you dating, a character from Fraggle Rock?"

Chandler: (to Monica)"Will power?!... I've watched home movies of you eating Ring-Dings without taking the foil off."
Monica: "You told me that was sexy!!"

Chandler: (to Monica)"You tricked me to get me into bed?"
Monica: "That's right; I got mine."
Chandler: "I feel so used."

“Rachel: Chandler wrote something about me on that paper and I want to see it!

Ross: Chandler, isn't that the short story you were writing?

Rachel: Short story? And I'm in it? I want to read it!

Ross, Joey, Chandler: NO!

Joey: Why don't you read it to her?

Chandler: It was summer... and it was hot. Rachel was there... A lonely grey couch…‘OH LOOK!’ cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The End.”

Joey: (to Rachel)"...what I do is... I look a woman up and down, and I say... 'Hey... How're you doin'?'"
Phoebe: "Oh... please."
Joey: "Hey... How're you doin'?"

Chandler: You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always puts a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?