Frank Gannucci
05-14-2014, 10:43 PM
(The Miami Heat won the Eastern Conference Semifinals, 4 games to 1, by beating the Brooklyn Nets 96-94.)
(Ralph & Ed just watched the game at the pool room.)
Ed: "Ralph, what bad game. The Nets LOST and the Heat won. I really wished we played basketball while listening to the game."
Ralph: "That would be a good idea. I am upset that the Heat won. I know that I can play basketball better than some of those Heat players."
(LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade and Ray Allen come in. Crowd cheers. Ralph & Ed see them.)
Ed: "Hey Ralph, did you say that you can play better basketball than some of the members of the Heat?"
Ralph: "Huminahumina!"
LeBron: "YOU think you can play better basketball than some of the members of the Heat?"
Ray: "You would be the BIGGEST player in the league. In terms of yoru stomach."
Ralph: "Haminahamina!"
Dwayne: "We got to practice for our next series."
(Ralph is more upset.)
Chris: "Why don't you and LeBron and a game of one-on-one right now?"
Ed: "Ralph, will be glad too."
LeBron: "Good. See ya."
(All four Heat players leave.)
Ed: "Ralph, I did that just so you can have your moment in the sun with LeBron. Jackie Gleason would be proud."
Ralph (yells): "NORTON, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO GET HUMILIATED, I AM GOING TO PALM YOU LIKE A BASKETBALL."
(Ralph chases Ed out of the poolroom.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Folks, why don't we bring out our guests. First from Chicago, Illinois, Dwayne Wade."
(Dwayne Wade walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "From Castle Air Force Base, California, Ray Allen."
(Ray Allen walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "From Dallas, Texas, Chris Bosh."
(Chris Bosh. walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "And from Akron, Ohio, 'King' LeBron James."
(LeBron James walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "And from Mount Vernon, NY, ART CARNEY."
(Art Carney walks on stage. He is dressed up like a basketball player. Audience and everyone on stage laughs. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "Now that all of us are on stage at the moment, LeBron has something to say."
LeBron: "WHAT'S UP MIAMI BEACH?"
(Audience cheers.)
LeBron: "We all agree with Jackie. The Miami Beach audiences are the GREATEST in the world."
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "GOOD NIGHT!"
(Ralph & Ed just watched the game at the pool room.)
Ed: "Ralph, what bad game. The Nets LOST and the Heat won. I really wished we played basketball while listening to the game."
Ralph: "That would be a good idea. I am upset that the Heat won. I know that I can play basketball better than some of those Heat players."
(LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade and Ray Allen come in. Crowd cheers. Ralph & Ed see them.)
Ed: "Hey Ralph, did you say that you can play better basketball than some of the members of the Heat?"
Ralph: "Huminahumina!"
LeBron: "YOU think you can play better basketball than some of the members of the Heat?"
Ray: "You would be the BIGGEST player in the league. In terms of yoru stomach."
Ralph: "Haminahamina!"
Dwayne: "We got to practice for our next series."
(Ralph is more upset.)
Chris: "Why don't you and LeBron and a game of one-on-one right now?"
Ed: "Ralph, will be glad too."
LeBron: "Good. See ya."
(All four Heat players leave.)
Ed: "Ralph, I did that just so you can have your moment in the sun with LeBron. Jackie Gleason would be proud."
Ralph (yells): "NORTON, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO GET HUMILIATED, I AM GOING TO PALM YOU LIKE A BASKETBALL."
(Ralph chases Ed out of the poolroom.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Folks, why don't we bring out our guests. First from Chicago, Illinois, Dwayne Wade."
(Dwayne Wade walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "From Castle Air Force Base, California, Ray Allen."
(Ray Allen walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "From Dallas, Texas, Chris Bosh."
(Chris Bosh. walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "And from Akron, Ohio, 'King' LeBron James."
(LeBron James walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "And from Mount Vernon, NY, ART CARNEY."
(Art Carney walks on stage. He is dressed up like a basketball player. Audience and everyone on stage laughs. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "Now that all of us are on stage at the moment, LeBron has something to say."
LeBron: "WHAT'S UP MIAMI BEACH?"
(Audience cheers.)
LeBron: "We all agree with Jackie. The Miami Beach audiences are the GREATEST in the world."
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "GOOD NIGHT!"