View Full Version : Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 12):


Frank Gannucci
05-14-2014, 10:43 PM
(The Miami Heat won the Eastern Conference Semifinals, 4 games to 1, by beating the Brooklyn Nets 96-94.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game at the pool room.)

Ed: "Ralph, what bad game. The Nets LOST and the Heat won. I really wished we played basketball while listening to the game."

Ralph: "That would be a good idea. I am upset that the Heat won. I know that I can play basketball better than some of those Heat players."

(LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade and Ray Allen come in. Crowd cheers. Ralph & Ed see them.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, did you say that you can play better basketball than some of the members of the Heat?"

Ralph: "Huminahumina!"

LeBron: "YOU think you can play better basketball than some of the members of the Heat?"

Ray: "You would be the BIGGEST player in the league. In terms of yoru stomach."

Ralph: "Haminahamina!"

Dwayne: "We got to practice for our next series."

(Ralph is more upset.)

Chris: "Why don't you and LeBron and a game of one-on-one right now?"

Ed: "Ralph, will be glad too."

LeBron: "Good. See ya."

(All four Heat players leave.)

Ed: "Ralph, I did that just so you can have your moment in the sun with LeBron. Jackie Gleason would be proud."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO GET HUMILIATED, I AM GOING TO PALM YOU LIKE A BASKETBALL."

(Ralph chases Ed out of the poolroom.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Folks, why don't we bring out our guests. First from Chicago, Illinois, Dwayne Wade."

(Dwayne Wade walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "From Castle Air Force Base, California, Ray Allen."

(Ray Allen walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "From Dallas, Texas, Chris Bosh."

(Chris Bosh. walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "And from Akron, Ohio, 'King' LeBron James."

(LeBron James walks on stage just like he walks onto the basketball court just before a home basketball game. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "And from Mount Vernon, NY, ART CARNEY."

(Art Carney walks on stage. He is dressed up like a basketball player. Audience and everyone on stage laughs. He shakes Jackie's hand. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Now that all of us are on stage at the moment, LeBron has something to say."

LeBron: "WHAT'S UP MIAMI BEACH?"

(Audience cheers.)

LeBron: "We all agree with Jackie. The Miami Beach audiences are the GREATEST in the world."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "GOOD NIGHT!"