Because the game is taking place in the New York area this year, I thought I would post this.

(Ralph is shown putting on his jacket and mittens. He goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, COME ON DOWN. I AM READY."

Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I WILL BE RIGHT DOWN RALPH."

(Alice emerges from the bedroom.)

Alice (sarcastically): "Well, you're nuts."

Ralph: "You are just jealous Alice. I am going to the Super Bowl to witness a game. To witness history in the making. I got these tickets for a very good price."

Alice: "Where did you get them Ralph?"

Ralph: "I got them from a guy on the street."

Alice: "Ralph, are you sure that they are on the level?"

Ralph: "Of course."

(Ed comes down dressed like he did in "Please Leave The Premises.")

Ed: "Hey Ralph-ie boy. I am ready to witness history in the making. What team should we root for Ralph?"

Ralph: "I say that we should root for Denver since they are closer. I do wish the Giants and/or the Jets got into the Super Bowl this year. If there was any year in which a team or teams had the honor of being the first team or teams to play the Super Bowl in their home stadium, this would have been the year."

(Ed blows his nose.)

Ed: "So true Ralph."

Ralph: "Let's go to Metlife Stadium."

Ed: "I wonder how the owners got Metlife to have the naming rights."

Ralph: "In the words of Charlie Brown: 'They got Met because it pays.' Ha ha ha."

(They go to Metlife Stadium. They are in line to give the tickets to the ticketmaster.)

Ralph: "Ed, I need your jacket."

Ed: "Sure. I don't need it. I am not cold."

(Ed takes of his jacket to reveal another one underneath with five hot water bottles attached to it. Everyone looks at Ed like he is insane.)

Ed: "I am suffocating."

Ralph: "Oh, you are a mental case pal. Youa re ready for Bellevue pal."

(They give the tickets to the ticketmaster.)

Ticketmaster: "Gentlemen, these tickets aren't real."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT?"

Ticketmaster: "See, our tickets look like this. These are fake."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THESE ARE FAKE? I GOT THEM FROM A GUY ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK."

Ticketmaster (yells): "THEY MUST HAVE BEEN FAKE SIR. IF YOU ARE LUCKY, MAYBE YOU CAN GET SOME TICKETS FROM A PERSON WHO DOESN'T WANT THEM."

(They leave the line.)

Ralph: "How about that?"

(Ralph sees a man selling tickets.)

Ralph: "Norton, what that man is doing may be illegal but we are going to do it."

Ed: "Let's go."

(They go to get the tickets but before they do, McGarrity and his friend and get them before they do.)

McGarrity (yells): "BEAT YOU TO IT RALPH."

Ed: "Hey Ralph, looks like your lack of physical condidtioning did you in."

Ralph (yells): "PUT 'EM UP NORTON! I WILL HIT YOU HARDER THAN ANY FOOTBALL PLAYER."

(Everyone tries to separate them.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. I certainly hope that the Miami Beach area hosts another Super Bowl because the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)