A Honeymooners XMas Eve:

(Alice's parents are at a very expensive restaurant.)

Alice's Mom: "When is our daughter and her poor excuse of a husband going to arrive at our version of the Colonade Room."

Alice's Dad: "They should be here shortly. I heard that Ralph sooo wanted to have Christmas Eve at their lousy apartment, but Alice put her foot down. Ralph says that these restaurants are the most expensive in the WORLD. He also said: 'Name me one truck dirver who eats here.'"

(Alice's Mom looks outside.)

Alice's Mom: "Oh look, they are here."

(The Kramdens arrive with the Nortons. Audience applauds.)

Alice: "Mom and Dad, Merry Christmas."

Alice's Dad: "Same to you."

Alice's Mom (to Ralph): "Hey Santa, you arrived early."

(Ed laughs.)

(Ralph gives him a mean look.)

Ralph: "Merry Christmas Eve too you two."

Alice's Mom: "Lets finally eat."

Ed: "I am so hungry especially after sloshing around that sewer all morning."

Ralph: "Thank you Norton for curing my appetitie."

Ed: "You're welcome Ralph."

Trixie: "Did you hear what Ed got for his secret Santa down in the sewer?"

Alice's Mom: "What?"

Trixie: "An orange juice squeezer but it isn't an ordinary one. You squeeze the orange on Napolean's head and the juice squirts out of his ears."

Alice's Mom: "Hey Sonny Boy, I heard that you wanted to chop down your Christmas tree but you were dumb enough to forget the hacksaw and you and Ed dug the tree out of the ground."

Ed: "You should have seen the strange looks we got from people. People called us Clark W. Griswolds. Ha ha ha."

Ralph: "ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!"

(They all sit down to eat. After dinner, they all leave to go to Alice's parents house much to Ralph's chagrin.)

Alice's Mom: "Hey everyone, it's almost 12a."

Ed: "Let's see if we can spot Santa and his reindeer."

Ralph: "Uh, yeah. Let's all go outside. After all, it is warmer than usual. I heard that it is almost as warm as Miami Beach."

(The crowd applauds.)

(They all go outside and see a shooting star.)

Ed: "I wonder if that was Santa."

Alice: "Hey, it's 15 seconds to midnight. After midnight, why don't we unwrap our gifts that we brought?"

All: "Sure...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1..."

(To be continued.)