Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

(MeTV)

This schedule is for some MeTV affiliates due to the fact that some local stations in some markets may also broadcast the Honeymooners and they may take exception to MeTV wanting to show the show as well as the fact that they may want to show other shows.

Sun. Dec. 1, 2013 2a (also Thu. Nov. 28, 2013 at 11a on WPIX & WPIX HD)
#013 (aka #121) - "'Twas The Night Before XMas": The Kramdens exchange presents in a Christmas episode with an O. Henry twist. Ralph is particularly proud of the gift he has for Alice: a hairpin box made of 2000 matchsticks that, he's been told, was smuggled from the palace of the Emperor of Japan. DON'T MISS - This classic retelling of "The Gift of the Magi."

2:30a (also Sun. Dec. 1, 2013 at 11:30p on WPIX & WPIX HD and Mon. Dec. 9, 2013 at 10:30p Central on WCIUDT4) #015 (aka #123) - "A Matter of Record": In "A Matter of Record" (originally telecast Jan. 7, 1956), Ralph surprises Alice with tickets to a hit Broadway mystery, but with her mother coming "all the way from Bensonhurst" for a visit, she won't go. " Where's Bensonhurst, in New Zealand or something?" Ralph snaps back, upset that Alice is forsaking him for a visit from his nemesis. "She won't be in this apartment three minutes before she starts an argument," Ralph says. With that, Alice's mother arrives and Ralph proceeds to set an alarm clock for three minutes. Sure enough, she quickly insults Ralph about his weight, chides Alice for not marrying "a good provider" and, as the final straw, spills the beans about the ending of the play. Just as the alarm clock rings, Ralph erupts ("You are a blabbermouth!") and throws his mother-in-law out. But Alice leaves with her, prompting Ralph to take Norton's suggestion and record an apology to Alice in hopes of winning her forgiveness.

Sun. Dec. 8, 2013 2a #016 (also showing Sat. Dec. 7, 2013 at 11p on WPIX & WPIX HD and Tue. Dec. 10 at 10:30p Central on WCIUDT4) (aka #124) - "Oh My Aching Back": After telling Alice he was too tired to leave the apartment, Ralph---on the eve of his company physical---goes bowling, throws his back out and comes home hunched over, and looking, Norton says, like "the leaning tower of pizza."

2:30a (also showing 11:30p on WPIX & WPIX HD and Wed. Dec. 11, 2013 at 10:30p Central on WCIUDT4) #017 (aka #125) - "The Baby-sitter": Ralph signals his displeasure when he learns that Alice had a telephone installed in the apartment. Then later, when he calms down, he overhears a telephone conversation and thinks that she is having an affair.

(WPIX) & (WPIX HD (aka CWHD))

(CC?)

Note: The Honeymooners is not in HD in syndiication. So WPIX puts a black picture frame around the show.

Thu. Nov. 28, 2013 11:30a #003 (aka #111) - "The Golfer": Hello, ball! That memorable salutation---delivered by Norton (Art Carney) as he shows the proper way to "address the ball"---has made "The Golfer" (first aired on Oct. 15, 1955) a favorite in the series canon. Ralph's trying to impress his boss by offering to join him in a foursome. Problem is, Ralph's never picked up a club in his life and learning to play in two days, he concedes, won't be easy---"It'd take me at least a week." That doesn't stop him from turning his kitchen into a fairway, using a pin cushion as a ball and, unforgettably, getting into the mood by donning an outlandish golfing outfit that is, to quote Norton, "dee-vine." DON'T MISS – Ed addressing the ball.

12p #007 (aka #115) - "Better Living Through TV": In a classic episode, Ralph and Norton g o on live TV in an attempt to sell the Handy Housewife Helper. The inspired (and ad-lib laden) "Better Living Through TV" (originally telecast Nov. 12, 1955) finds Ralph talking Norton into buying TV time so the two of them can go on the air and sell 2000 of the kitchen gadgets. The idea is for "Chef of the Future" Ralph to demonstrate to "Chef of the Past" Norton the many things the gizmo can do, such as open cans, remove corns and, of course, "core a apple." In the rehearsal, Ralph is the picture of calm, but as they prepare to go on the air, panic sets in and he warns a worrisome Ed: "Stop talking like that, nervous, you're going to get yourself all Norton." CLASSIC QUOTE - "Can it core a apple?"

12:30p #024 (aka #132) - "Please Leave The Premises": Ralph refuses to pay a rent increase of $5 a month and, to avoid eviction, barricades himself, Alice and Norton in the apartment. Its war, says Ralph, and he's the general of their army. But after a few days without heat, and the food supply reduced to only celery, General Kramden hatches a plan to get fresh grub from the neighborhood delicatessen. Mr. Johnson: Luis Van Rooten.

1p #027 (aka #135) - “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka "Head of The House"): In the hilarious "Head of the House" (originally telecast March 31, 1956), Ralph marks his "emancipation" as king of his castle by sitting down with Norton to finish a bottle of wine that is "a little strong but good." Their first toast, Ralph says, is "to my wife, who has finally found her place." Actually, what Alice found was a bottle of grape juice, which she substituted for the wine. When the men get plastered and pass out, Trixie and Alice pour their own drinks and make their own toasts. "I give you our husbands," says Trixie. "You can have 'em," says Alice. The wine-and-grape-juice scene, Art Carney recalled, was one of his favorites. "We really were laughing at each other...because we were supposed to be laughing...crocked and everything. Funny scene."

1:30p #028 (aka #136) - "The Worry Wart": Ralph's nerves are taxed when he gets a letter requesting his presence at the IRS office. Alice tries to calm him by reminding him that many people have their returns reviewed. "You're darn right," Norton agrees. "The jails are full of them." Norton, in fact, is helping Ralph review the business deductions he made on his returns and then lends his buddy moral support by accompanying him to the IRS office.

2p #035 (aka #143) - "Unconventional Behavior": Ralph and Norton become joined at the wrists when Norton tries out his "trick handcuffs" in "Unconventional Behavior," which originally aired May 12, 1956. Aboard a train en route to the lodge's convention in Minneapolis, the guys look forward to "five days of hilarity" and try out some of the novelty items that Norton's brought along. But when Norton's handcuffs won't unlock (there is no key), he and Ralph become closer than they'd like. This scenario yields some memorable physical humor, including Norton trying to take his coat off and the guys trying to figure out some way to sleep in upper and lower berths. It also provides one of the series' all-time lines. "Mind if I smoke?" Norton asks a frustrated Ralph. "I don't care if you burn," Ralph fires back.

2:30p #020 (aka #128) - "Young At Heart": Ralph wants to prove to Alice that he's still young at heart by learning dances like the Big Apple and the Suzie Q., which prompts Norton to ask: "How can anyone so round be so square?" But he's still determined, so the Kramdens and the Nortons decide to make a night of it by going roller-skating. Ralph on wheels at the rink makes for one of the series' classic scenes. Another has Norton teaching Ralph how to do the Hucklebuck.

(WCiUDT4) (MeTOO in Chicago)

All times are Central.

Mon. Dec. 2, 2013 10:30p #009 (aka #116) - "Brother Ralph": A layoff at the bus company prompts Ralph and Alice to add up their total savings from all of their accounts ($12.83). That's reason enough for Alice to get a job, leaving Ralph to take care of the cooking and cleaning. But Ralph becomes really steamed after he discovers that her boss looks like a matinee idol---and that Alice told him that Ralph is her brother.

Tue. Dec. 3, 2013 10:30p #010 (aka #117) - "Hello Mom": Ralph and Alice Kramden (Jackie Gleason, Audrey Meadows) squabble over the impending arrival of Ralph's mother-in-law in this classic, and ultimately touching, episode. The king is told that his castle is soon to be invaded by Alice's mom. Ralph painfully remembers how his mother-in-law said at his wedding, "I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a ton," and refuses to let her visit. But when Alice stands up to him and insists her mother's coming, Ralph decides to move in with the Nortons until the visit's over. Humor and poignancy meet in a conclusion that once again shows Alice, who sees beyond Ralph's insecurities, to be the bigger person.

Wed. Dec. 4, 2013 10:30p #011 (aka #118) - "The Deciding Vote": Ralph's in a tight two-man election for the position of Raccoon convention manager and the deciding vote belongs to Norton. The episode contains a classic sight gag involving Ralph trying to clean a vacuum cleaner after it has failed "the oatmeal test."

Thu. Dec. 5, 2013 10:30p #012 (aka #119) - "Something Fishy": "I catch the fish," Ralph tells Alice, "you cook the fish. The only time we're together is when we eat the fish." Alice, however, has other ideas about Ralph and his lodge brothers worming their way out of taking the wives on the annual fishing trip. Ralph and Norton are desperate, so they angle for a way to leave Alice and Trixie behind.

Fri. Dec. 6, 2013 10:30p #014 (aka #120) - "The Man From Space": Intending to take home first prize at the Raccoon Lodge's costume ball, Ralph---unable to wangle a loan from Norton---puts together his own costume and dubs himself "The Man From Space" in a memorable episode that was originally telecast Dec. 31, 1955. Angry with Norton (who's going as the Frenchman who "built the sewers of Paris") and obsessed with winning, Ralph appropriates an assortment of household items---including a faucet, a pot, a radio tube and the icebox door---to create a costume that will, he says, make Norton's rented outfit look like "a piece of French cheesecloth." The episode contains a classic example of Jackie Gleason's gift for ad-libbing when, unexpectedly; a piece of Ralph's costume falls off. "Let me have that," he improvises to Alice. "That's my denaturizer."

Thu. Dec. 12, 2013 10:30p #018 (aka #124) - "The $99,000 Answer": Ralph Kramden's get-rich-quick schemes were a Honeymooners staple, but the pipe dream in "The $99,000 Answer"---which originally aired Jan. 28, 1956---may be the funniest. Convinced that he'll triumph on a quiz show, popular-music expert Ralph (Jackie Gleason) intensely prepares at home, aided by piano-playing pal Norton (Art Carney), who warms up for each song with a few bars of a familiar Stephen Foster melody. Of course, the second he's on live TV, Ralph's bravado vanishes. Going into the classic Kramden meltdown---the eyes bugging, the lips quivering, the tongue stuttering "hummina-hummina"---he's asked, for his first question, to identify the composer of "Swanee River." DON'T MISS - - Norton's introduction to every song on the piano.

Fri. Dec. 13, 2013 10:30p #019 (aka #125) - "Ralph Kramden Inc.": Ralph needs a loan from Norton, so he sells him a share of his future earnings as a corporation---Ralph Kramden, Inc. It's another con job by Ralph, of course, until he learns that an old woman with a $40 million estate died and left him in her will. That's enough for Norton, as an officer in the corporation, to remind Ralph about one "small detail"---that they need to bring a suitcase to the reading of the will to carry home the $40 million.

Credit goes to zap2it.com, the Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, the honeymooners.net, tvland.com & John K's Book To The Moon.