View Full Version : Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 9)


Frank Gannucci
04-29-2013, 11:07 PM
(The Brooklyn Nets beat the Chicago Bulls 110-91.)

(Alice & Trixie are watching ESPN in the Kramden apartment.)

Alice: "I never thought I would see myself watchng ESPN."

Trixie: "There is nothing on Alice and you know that our boys are going to come in tonight hootering and celebrating that the Nets won."

Alice: "I hope they don't sing."

Ralph & Ed (from hallway, singing loudly and off-key to the tune of "Meet The Mets"): "MEET THE NETS/MEET THE NETS? STEP RIGHT UP AND GREET THE NETSSSSSSSSS."

(They enter and the audience applauds.)

Alice: "Ralph, that singing was awful."

Ed: "What do you mean? I think that we are tailored to win on The Voice."

Ralph: "Hello Alice! Hi Trixie! Well, those Nets proved how HORRIBULL Chicago is. The Nets proved how good they are. They now only have two do-or-die matches in this series."

Ed: "We might get our wish after all of seeing the Knicks and the Nets in the third round."

Trixie: "Don't be so sure. We listened to the experts on Sportscenter."

Ralph: "YOU watched ESPN? OH MY GOD!"

Ed: "Women never watch ESPN. Well, me and Ralph are smarter than the sportscasters on ESPN."

(The girls laugh. )

Alice: "You two never went to the eighth grade."

Ralph: "Oh yeah? Well, I will shout it out from my rooftop that this city better get ready for a Nets/Knicks showdown."

(Ralph & Ed go on the roof.)

Ralph (yells): "ATTENTION EVERYONE! EVERYONE HERE! GET READY FOR A NETS/KNICKS SHOWDOWN."

(Ralph & Ed leave.)

McGarrity (from window, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN!"

(Ralph looks at McGarrity and gets squirted with water. Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP YOU MORON!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)