(Alice is in the Kramden kitchen.)

Alice: "Ralph, I so wish you and Ed would have filed your taxes earlier."

Ralph (from the bedroom): "I told you Alice. I have been busy."

Alice: "Busy? Doing what?"

Ralph (coming out of the bedroom with a fax machine): "I told you I had been busy every night this week. So has Norton. We went to the pool hall, the Raccoon Lodge etc. We didn't have time to file our taxes earlier. Now, we will. Norton is coming down with his taxes that he had his brother done. His brother also did my taxes too. We both ahd our taxes done for free."

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Alice? Happy Income Tax Day."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ed: "Ralph, you got the fax machine all set up?"

Ralph: "I certainly do Norton. Let's file away. I will go first."

Ed: "Why can't I go first?"

Ralph: "All right. I will flip a coin. Heads, I go first. Tails, you go second."

(Ralph flips a coin.)

Ralph: "Tails, you go second."

Ed: "All right."

(Alice rolls her eyes.)

(Ralph & Ed file their taxes through the fax machine.)

Ralph: "That was a shoe in."

(Phone rings. Ralph answers.)

Ralph: "Hello?"

IRS: "Is this Mr. Kramden?"

Ralph: "Yes."

IRS: "What is the big idea? You sent me blank papers. Did you and Ed Norton do the fax incorrectly?"

Ralph: "Haminahaminahaina. Yes, we did. We will file them correctly."

(They file their taxes again. The power goes out.)

Ralph (yells): "WHAT?"

Ed: "Ralph, I got an idea. We should go down to the IRS office now. We can still make it there by 11:59p."

Ralph: "Are you crazy? It will take us forever to go down there."

Ed: "We will go by sewer. I know the manhole that opens up right next to the IRS office."

Alice: "Ralph, I told you..."

Ralph: "Don't give me those 'I told you so's.' We are going down there now."

(They arrive at the IRS office with their taxes in an envelope. Theya re soaking wet.)

Ed: "Ralph, good thing that the high tide didn't pervent us from getting to the office on time."

IRS: "What do you mean?"

Ed: "We went by sewer."

(The IRS looks at them strangely.)

IRS: "Your taxes are filed. I think you two might get a big refund."

Ralph: "A BIG refund? Ooooooooooo."

(Ralph faints.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. I hope everybody has filed their taxes. Did you?"

Audience (yells): "YEAH!"

Jackie: "Good. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)