Do you think whipping your children with a belt is child abuse or good discipline? Plus have any of you got a whipping with a belt? If so did it do any good?

I don't see anything wrong with it, if it's done in the right way. I have gotten a whipping with a belt when I was younger. I tought me a lesson. But it shouldn't be done if the parent does it TOO hard. Now that would be abuse.

But I say if done in the right way...It's ok if the child deserves it.

This is a tough issue that I am not exactly sure where I stand on. Generally, my gut tells me that whipping with a belt or any sort of instrument is worse than spanking and should not be done. However, that's not necessarily even true, as a spanking with a hand can be just as rough.

On the one hand, I can see how in some cases it is merited, and I don't think the occassional spanking seriously warps a child....I was spanked as a child (but very occasionally) and I like to think I turned out OK. (this point is, however, still widely open to debate) :p

However, I can also see the argument that spanking or whipping with a belt is merely a way for an out-of-control or impatient parent to discipline in a fast way, instead of a more effective, time-consuming way.

I think that I am inclined to say that spanking or whipping should be avoided at all costs, especially since we live in such an instant-gratification focused society, where it might to tempting to just continually whack the kid instead of disciplining some other way. However, I think we are all fallible humans and parents shouldn't be too hard on themselves if they occasionally spank their child.

This is all of course assuming that the parent isn't being too rough. I think if they are leaving welts or bruises or breaking the skin it is absolutely unacceptable no matter what the child's infraction.

When I have children, I'd rather have them behave out of respect and not fear, so I won't be hitting them. That's not to say the fierce hands of justice won't come down like a ton of bricks when they need to be disciplined; there just won't be any hitting.

And yes, I was spanked as a child but not with a belt.

Having had a taste of that in my childhoodI'll tell you, these years later, my feelings about it haven't changed. I resented it and the feeling of fearing my own father, not respecting him, is what I took away from it. I didn't repeat the ugly practice with my kids.

The problem with kids today is that they are shown no dicipline. If smacking a child is what it takes to dicispline it then so be it.
I was smacked when I was a kid - not excessively but I knew not to do anything real bad or I'd get thumped - and I turned out fine.
I saw a mother on the street just a few days ago with a young kid who was having a screaming tantrum. The mother kept saying "Now Stephen, stop that now! You're making mummy very upset. C'mon now Stephen, behave now" and the little brat was still kicking up hell. I stood there thinking "If you just thumped that kid he'd shut-up soon enough!"
I don't think kids should be beaten with canes or belts, but if they misbehave they should be smacked. Simple as that. I get so p#ssed when I read in the papers that a parent has had their kid taken away from them by social services just cos they smacked them. Social services should mind their own business. If more kids were taught right and wrong when they were younger, social services wouldn't have to be hauling the little sh#ts off to young offenders court when they reach their teenage years!

Originally posted by julian bozo
Do you think whipping your children with a belt is child abuse or good discipline? Plus have any of you got a whipping with a belt? If so did it do any good?

No I do not believe it is child abuse. I was whipped plenty when I was a kid (what can I say, I was mischievous :D )

I don't think affected me now as I'm an adult. It did, however, make me think twice about doing SOME things.

I think society today is too much into prying into people's personal lives by telling people what they can and can't do in their own homes. I know some people take it to extreemes with beating their kids, that is wrong I agree. However, I believe that spankings/whippings are called for in some cases, not all.

As for when I have kids, I haven't decided if I will spank them or not. That is still a few years off, I'll decide that when the time comes.


D

Originally posted by Mossopp

I was smacked when I was a kid - not excessively but I knew not to do anything real bad or I'd get thumped - and I turned out fine.


Well, YOU think you turned out fine....:joke: lol, anyway, I wasn't slapped or whipped or whatever when I saw younger...it was always THE WOODEN SPOON!!

I feel somewhat resent towards my parents on this particular subject. When I was little, like 3, 4, 5 you know, that age, I was never spanked or whipped or anything. All my parents did was just yell, yell, and more yelling. I never learned anything from it too. I turned out basically fine with a few minor exceptions but...


If it takes whipping to have a kid learn a lesson, sure that's fine. But I've known a person who was excessively whipped by her father, and it wasn't pretty. She never told anyone, like, adult or anything, but her father one day just stopped. Maybe he finally realized what he was doing to her, and just stopped. If it's hard and excessive I consider it Child Abuse. But soft, and not that often, and if it teaches a lesson, sure.

I see it as good disipline. Though I was never spanked as a kid. I have been smaked in the face a few times.

Well... It really depends on HOW hard you hit the child, lol.

My parents use to hit me with a coat hanger, and I'm discplined alright. :D

I think as long as it is done in the right way to discpline and
not out of pure anger than it is ok.I've been spanked when I
was younger with both belt and hand but only hard enough
so's I wouldn't do what I did in the first place again.I also think
when you know that you're going to "get it" if you do something
wrong,well it makes you think twice before you even dare to
THINK of doing it!

I was spanked as a child with a belt, and I really don't think it did any good. Of course, you have to consider what I was being spanked for. I cry extremely easily even at the age of 14, but when I was younger I would burst into uncontrollable tears in public. Needless to say, my parents were not amused. So what does my father do? He spanks me with a belt because I was crying. Now, honestly, does that make sense? It just made me cry more.

On other occasions, when I was spanked not for crying but for other things I did, I still think it was wrong. Really, it's a parent's decision on whether or not to spank their child. However, I was always in fear of my father. If that's the way he wanted it to be, I guess he got the desired effect. I personally wouldn't want my children to not do things just because they're afraid of me. I would want them to not do things because they know it's wrong, and they know WHY it's wrong.

I don't think anyone deserves a whipping of a belt.. i've always thought of that as abuse...i would never think of hitting anyone with a belt. it could really hurt people... id say i'm against it.

Originally posted by julian bozo
Do you think whipping your children with a belt is child abuse or good discipline? Plus have any of you got a whipping with a belt? If so did it do any good?
Child abuse or no, that is the real question, isn't it? The million dollar question, right? To hit or not to hit.
Let me tell you what my mother did to me when I was younger.

When I was first learning the meaning of "no" my mother decided not to teach me "NO!" but instead taught me "ouch" because one day when she was using the stove, I went to touch it and she said "uh uh...OUCH..." and I took my hand away, looking puzzled. I repeated her word "Ouch" and she repeated it back to me. I looked at her as she looked away and tried to touch the stove again, she turned in time to see me touch the stove wince and pull back quickly, saying "OUCH!" She just looked at me and nodded, as I looked at the stove and realized "ouch" was a bad term. My mother never said no, to me, she said ouch.

What does that have to do with beating? I'm getting to it...lol. It's part of the stove (and I realized that story was cute enough to tell here LOL). A couple years later, or maybe it was sooner to that incident that I remember, my mother found out that ouch wasnt working so well, and I started to disrespect her by testing my boundries. Sure, she took a swat at my behind when I mouthed off to her once in a while, but I was in line. Well I remember when I was about 5 or 6, I had tried to lie to my mom...then when she found out I said "you CAN'T TOUCH ME" because everyone else in the apartment complex said that to their parents. I kept telling her no, and she went to the stove, grabbed the cutting board and looked at me, saying "OUCH" like I should have known better. Then said "I am going to count to 3..." And I RAN. She followed me up the stairs, holding this paddle (once a cutting board) in her hand and bent me over her knee...she struck ONCE and that paddle broke in half on my a$$.

Every other time I messed up, I saw her go for her belt as a threat, but I was more afraid of the paddle than a belt. I was on a mission to hide every paddle when I was in trouble, but needless to say, it wasn't necessary. When I was a teenager, I said something to her and she slapped me cross the face, but other than that, I wasn't hit with more than a simple swat cross the backside.

I think if the punishment is a belt cross the butt, the kid better have done something really wrong, otherwise the occasional swat when it's called for is ok. The main thing is WHEN it is called for, and HOW HARD the hit is, and HOW OFTEN the child gets hit constitutes child "Abuse."


I will have no problem doing to my child what my mother did to me, because she had EVERY RIGHT to hit me. I misbehaved, and suffered the consequences. And now I'm better off for it. (Cept I don't see myself busting a cutting board/paddle on my kid's butt unless they do what I did-or worse.)

**Gracie moo...who can be serious when the time is called for...have YOU ever seen a cow paddled?**

Originally posted by Meg07945
I wasn't slapped or whipped or whatever when I saw younger...it was always THE WOODEN SPOON!!

:lol: My boyfriend's family is the same way! It's always the wooden spoon with them....of course I have never seen my boyfriend's mother actually hit anyone with the wooden spoon, other than a little playful tap, but anytime she threatens a disciplinary action it's always with THE WOODEN SPOON!

:lol: They are all originally from the NY/NJ area too. I wonder if it's a widespread practice there or something.

Originally posted by Montana Ponine
I don't think anyone deserves a whipping of a belt.. i've always thought of that as abuse...i would never think of hitting anyone with a belt. it could really hurt people... id say i'm against it.

Ditto, ice-skatin bud!!

I think it's right to do it with the hands, but using a belt is um against the law. Not to mention child abuse, I think that's... :rolleyes:

My mom used to whack me w/a hairbrush.. ouch

personally i am not for spanking or hitting children in any way...i was spanked once or twice as a child but my parents hated doing it so i always got time outs....i was sent to my room a lot...hmmm what could i say, i loved adventure and i craved attention...wait still do..lol...

A friend of mine & I had a disagreement about this. I said
if I ever had a girl, I would never whip her with a belt ever.
If I had a boy & he did wrong I think it might be okay to take a belt to his behind. He said he didn't think boys or girls should get a whipping with a belt & sees it as pure child abuse.

I think it's wrong cause it hurrrrrrrrrrrrrts

I've always been whipped with a belt, and I don't think it's right to disipline a child with any object other than your hand. I think if done to much, but not as abuse, it can cause emotional/psycological damage.

Originally posted by ILuvJoandBlair
. I think if done to much, but not as abuse, it can cause emotional/psycological damage.

In what way?

Originally posted by goddess936
I think it's wrong cause it hurrrrrrrrrrrrrts

But, sometimes it could get the message across. But if done way to hard, then it only makes the kid cry more

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


But, sometimes it could get the message across. But if done way to hard, then it only makes the kid cry more

Even if it's light the kid will most likely cry.

Originally posted by julian bozo


In what way?

I'm going off of what I know but I think if you hit a child to much it can cause psycological damage because you your child begines to build up a form of fear for you or anyone of authority. They shouldn't have to spen their time fearing and worrying over what will happen to them if they happen to mess up. That can put to much stress on them, leading to some problems.

Originally posted by Bootsy Whoosh
:lol: They are all originally from the NY/NJ area too. I wonder if it's a widespread practice there or something.

I find that insulting to all newjersians. I think hitting with a belt, spanking, or hitting with anything else is total child abuse. I would never do it ad if my parents did it to me I would run away and live on the streets. Seriously whipping someone with a belt is the most ******** form of punishment I've ever heard of. I swear I watch movies about kids who were whipped in the 1700's cant people think up something better than that now-a-days? Honestly I would never do something like that. I remember we were down the shore once and a 4 year old girl was acting up and her father slapped her. Right there in a restaurant at 4PM. She started crying and was even worse off than before. Now how did that help. Other than to make her louder. Once in a store my aunt saw a boy hiding in all the clothes like I used to and his mom hit him. My aunt threatened to call the police and the woman got all scared and ran away. If it was such a right thing to do then why was she so afraid. I cant believe someone would dot that in public. Once kid in my school was slapped infront of the whole school because he got lost on a ski slope. Its all so stupid. I think that there are better ways to discipline kids than to hurt them. If a man were to hit his wife with a belt because she was rude he would be arrested for spousel abuse... if a man hits his daughter with a belt its the same concept. he has no more right to hurt his daughter than to hurt his wife. They;re both human beings.

Originally posted by Jinny Girl
I find that insulting to all newjersians.

Sorry, I meant no offense.

But if you noticed, I wasn't referring to using a belt or even spanking or hitting, I was referring to the use of a wooden spoon. All I meant was I was wondering if using a wooden spoon as a threat was something that only happens in the NY/NJ area, because of all the people I have ever met and ever talked to, only the ones from that area were ever threatened with a spoon.

In no way was I implying that people from NJ/NY abuse their kids more.

Originally posted by Bootsy Whoosh


Sorry, I meant no offense.

But if you noticed, I wasn't referring to using a belt or even spanking or hitting, I was referring to the use of a wooden spoon. All I meant was I was wondering if using a wooden spoon as a threat was something that only happens in the NY/NJ area, because of all the people I have ever met and ever talked to, only the ones from that area were ever threatened with a spoon.

In no way was I implying that people from NJ/NY abuse their kids more.

Oopsies... heh I meant to make that a seperate paragraph as like a jokie thing... forgot to hit enter... so it wasnt really that insulting... but i personally have never heard of a spoon... thats also ********. anyone who uses that as discipline would be utterly stupid. just like this state and everyone in it... oh good point maybe it is more common here... everyone here is loonie and mean and careless and addicted to something anyway.

Originally posted by julian bozo
A friend of mine & I had a disagreement about this. I said
if I ever had a girl, I would never whip her with a belt ever.
If I had a boy & he did wrong I think it might be okay to take a belt to his behind. He said he didn't think boys or girls should get a whipping with a belt & sees it as pure child abuse.

If kids are going to get awhipping witha a belt than at least it should be consistent. Its kind of old-fashioned not to mention sexist to discriminate in the way that you are proposing.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Jinny Girl
[B]

If my parents did it to me I would run away and live on the streets.

Lol Lol Lol that is so funny I have been laughing about that for 10 minutes now.:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Originally posted by Jinny Girl

I think hitting with a belt, spanking, or hitting with anything else is total child abuse. I would never do it ad if my parents did it to me I would run away and live on the streets. Seriously whipping someone with a belt is the most ******** form of punishment I've ever heard of. I swear I watch movies about kids who were whipped in the 1700's cant people think up something better than that now-a-days? Honestly I would never do something like that. .
I'm surprised at how casually some of you have taken this subject. It is child abuse. Kids are people with feelings. I ran out of the house when I was a kid, like Jinny girl suggested. When I returned, that was the last time I was threatened with a belt. Kids don't have to tolerate just any dang thing that adults find to be acceptible. "For your own good," they say. I say, what a line of crap that is. Like Jinnygirl said, a little more imagination in the way of dicipline is in order here. Any kid runs to my house trying to escape the belt, ran to the right place.