Frank Gannucci
09-12-2012, 08:05 AM
Episode Reviews: “Honeymooners Christmas Special”, “Honeymooners: Behind The Scenes” & “Bread”
Episode #220
TV: Has not been seen on TV since its original airdate.
DVD: Attached to “Honeymooning Behind The Scenes” (a Jean Kean interview.)
I attempted to do a review of this episode in August 2004, but since at that time the last time I saw it was in 1998 at the Museum of TV & Radio, I relied completely on my memory and needless to say, my review was poor. I now have this episode in my possession and here is the review. The synopsis of this episode for some reason is not on honeymooners.net.
Unlike the past specials, this one was filmed in Superstar Theater in the Resorts National Hotel on the boardwalk in Atlantic City. The opening of this episode is similar to the other specials as well as the Color Honeymooners but the footage they use is a person zooming in on the Atlantic City boardwalk from the ocean. Eileen Heckart guest stars.
The Kramden apartment has some Christmas decorations in it as Alice brings in a skinny Christmas tree. Trixie comes in. Alice said that she didn't want Ralph to pick it out because he always waits until the last minute hoping to get one cheap. That is why last year; he got the tree on Jan. 10. Alice is going to put the tree into the bedroom to keep cool since according to her, it's colder in there than it is outside. She does. Ed comes down with his usual sewer outfit. Ralph comes home and combs his mustache. Ralph has had a bad day. On his very first stop, an old lady comes on the bus and her false teeth fall right into his change pocket. Tomorrow, it won't be much better since he is driving a school bus. I guess that Ralph got demoted from being Traffic Manager (since he was going to be promoted to one according to the end of "Honeymooners Christmas Carol." Trixie forgot to get Ed his dinner, so she asks what he wants from the store. His choices are nothing but frozen foods. Ed: "Here's a woman risking frostbite just to feed me." Ed doesn't know what he wants to eat. Trixie: "Do you want me to surprise you?" Ed: "Yeah, don't come back." Ed shows his Christmas bonus check which is $418.79. Ralph's eyes light up. The girls leave to go to the store. Ralph reveals his plan to Ed. Ralph: "I'm going to be a millionaire." How many times have we heard THAT before? Ralph: "I am going to give you an opportunity to invest in the greatest plan that I have ever had in my life." Ed: "What's the plan?" Ralph: "I can't tell you. You will have to trust me." Ed: "How much will it cost me?" Ralph: "$418.79." Ed claims that he lost the check. Ralph: "Look in your hat." Ed says that he can't give him the money because Trix will hit him. Ralph says that he was an only child (despite the fact that in previous episodes, he revealed that he has siblings.) He was a lonely child and he always wanted a little brother to play with. Ralph: "A little brother that he could beat up every now and then so I can put a band-aid on him." He said that since he doesn't have a little brother, he would have an imaginary brother and he would wonder what he would be like. He would depend on him. Ed asks what he looked like. Ralph: He looks exactly like you." Ed is touched and he says that he loves Ralph like a brother. Ralph: "Since we missed a lot of games in our childhood, we are going to play one right now. The game: Hand Over The Check." Ed "looks" for the check. He gives the "check" to Ralph. Ed: "As your imaginary brother, here's an imaginary check." Ha ha. Ed says that he will not give Ralph the check. Ralph is mad. He says that it was true that he had an imaginary brother, that he used to play games with him and that he looked like Ricardo Montelban. Ed: "Maybe he will give you the check." A knock on the door is heard. It's Alice's mother (played by Eileen Heckart.) She looks like a different person…again. As usual, they have a fight. Alice's mom says that she has given them the bureau, the table and the icebox. Ralph: "Yeah and twenty years ago, you gave me a headache." They go back and forth arguing. Alice's Mom: "Where's Alice, the person that I said thirty years ago that you are marrying Ralph over my dead body." Ralph: "That is another promise that you didn't keep." Alice's Mom said that Ralph didn't even give Ralph a child. Alice's Mom: "The only person around here that looks pregnant is you." Alice's Mom wants to give Alice her dad's three month social security check. Now they are arguing over Alice's Dad. Alice's Mom doesn't want Ralph to forget to give Alice the check. Ralph: "Should I tie a string around my finger?" Alice's Mom: "Tie a rope around your neck." She leaves. Ralph forgets about doing his idea, but then changes his mind when he remembers that he is holding Alice's Dad's three month social security check. Ed finally gives Ralph his check. Since they are "brothers", Ed asks if they can go over to the schoolyard and play Potsie.
The next day, Trixie comes in. Alice has some news. She went to the bank to get some money and the banker told her that the account was closed. Ralph went to the bank this morning and cleared out their entire life savings which was $248. Trixie: "There goes your condo in Florida." Trixie says that Ed handed over his entire big paycheck for one of Ralph's crazy ideas. Alice's Mother comes by. Alice: "I feel awful." Alice's Mom: "Good. I hope its morning sickness." Alice says that she is upset at Ralph. After Alice's Mom asks Alice if Ralph gave Alice her dad's three month social security check. Alice says no. Ed comes in. Trixie is upset at Ed. Alice: "Are you alone?" Ed: "I am never alone as long as I got my big brother." Alice: "Well, in about 10 minutes, you will be an only child." Ralph comes home and says that he took all of his & Alice's life savings, took Alice's Dad's social security check, Ed's paycheck, cashed his own paycheck, his Raccoon pension fund, and borrowed from his insurance. He did that because he wanted to invest in the greatest idea he ever had. He said that he used the money to buy lottery tickets. Ed: "And you thought that Ralph was crazy. He is as sane as I am." There's more. Ralph asks Ed to help him remove the bureau. They try to lift it. You can tell that Jackie and Art are not making any effort to move it, yet somehow Ralph screams in pain from trying to "lift" it the first time since Ed didn't do his part. They try it to "lift" it two more times. It is too heavy. So, Ed takes the two top drawers and puts them on TOP of the dresser to make it easier to move and somehow that works. It is almost the scene thing that they did in "A Woman's Work Is Never Done." They move the bureau so Ralph can get another bag of lottery tickets that he bought. Those lottery tickets look awful big for lottery tickets and somehow I doubt that all that money could have really be used to buy all those lottery tickets since there looks to be less than 100 of them. Ralph: "The top prize is $1 million. That pales in comparison to some of the top lottery prizes today. Ralph: "Name me someone else that could make a million dollars in one day." Alice: "Seattle Slew." Ed: "Are you comparing Ralph to a horse?" Alice: "Only part of a horse." I think I know which part. Ralph is going to tell them an amazing story. Ralph: "Four weeks ago, FOUR weeks ago, my bus breaks down in front of a gypsy tea room. When I go inside there to make a phone call to the depot, I look through the beaded curtains, I see an old gypsy lady reading tea leaves. When I get the dime out of my pocket to make the call (remember back then pay phone calls were a little bit less in New York than they are now), my rabbit's foot falls on the floor. She picks it up, presses it to her lips and mumbles something. I said: `What are you doing with my rabbit's foot?' She says: `I am putting a blessing on it.' You will have good fortune for the rest of your life. As I am making the phone call, she starts to read my palm. She says: `Happiness is on the way. You money line is very strong and your lucky number keeps popping up all the time.' I said: "What is my lucky number?' She said: `That is a buck extra.' I gave her the buck. She says: `Your lucky number is 4. I think nothing of it at the time. I go back to the depot and Garrity says to me that they are switching me to the FOURTH avenue line. I have never driven the fourth avenue line. I am going along the run. The first stop is FOURTH Street. FOUR men got on the bus and they didn't get off until FORTY-FOURTH Street. I go back to the depot. It is exactly FOUR o' clock. I wanted to give it one more test. I go back to the gypsy tea room and there is a cop there padlocking the door. I said: `Where is the gypsy lady?' He said: `We evicted her FOUR hours ago. She hadn't paid her rent in FOUR months.'" Ralph says that every one of those tickets has the number 4 on it someplace. Alice: "Your number is 4 all right Ralph because soon a little wagon is going to pull up around here. It will have FOUR bells on it. The there is going to be FOUR knocks on this door. We are going to open it. There is going to be FOUR men in white. They are going to grab you by the arms and legs and say those FOUR magic words Ralph. Just FOUR words. `AND AWAY WE GO!'" Alice says that it might be a good idea to have Ralph's head examined. Ralph says that he will have it examined anywhere but no one will find anything in there.
Later that night, Alice is getting the cot ready so Ralph can sleep on it. Alice's Mother is staying with them because Ralph got her so upset so Ralph has to sleep in the kitchen. That is why she is staying? Ralph says that he left his lucky rabbit's foot in the bathroom where Alice's Mom is in right now. Ralph is so concerned with her mom and Alice's Irish wishes. I guess that Alice's family is Irish. Ralph: "Your mother is putting an Irish wish on my rabbit's foot. Alice goes into the bedroom. Alice's Mom comes out with her beauty cream on and scares Ralph. Alice's Mom: "Here is your rabbit's foot Ralph and you know what you can do with it." She leaves. Ralph puts his rabbit's foot on the table. Ed comes down using the fire escape to stay with Ralph after being locked out by Trixie on the fire escape. She got him there by using a clever ruse. She said: "Ed, go out there and water the flowers." Ed, being stupid, says yes then realizes that you don't water flowers in the wintertime and remembers that they have no flowers. Ralph is going to go to bed by lying down on the cot in his bus uniform since according to him; he can't get his pajamas (although right now he could if he wanted to). Ed keeps Ralph awake by asking Ralph for some mustard on the sandwich that he (Ed) brought down. Then it is ketchup, then ketchup. Ralph asks if there is anything more that he wants. Ed says that the sandwich is perfect. Ralph tries to go to sleep. Now Ed is asking for a drink. Ralph (yells): "PUT DOWN THAT SANDWICH AND GET IN THIS BED." Ed does and both of them are trying to go to sleep on the same cot…without any covers. Ed can't sleep, so he tries counting sheep. He counts loudly. Ralph gets upset and orders Ed to get out of the bed. Ralph asks Ed how he gets to sleep upstairs. Ed says that Trixie always rubs his back. Ralph rubs his back. Ed says that when Trixie rubs his back, she always sings their song. Ed: "The song is: `Last Time We Were In Paris." That is how we met. We didn't meet in Paris though, but in Newark. Last time we were in Paris reminds me that we met in Newark." One of the precise locations that Ed claimed that he met Trixie for the first time was at a burlesque show. I doubt that Newark had any burlesque shows in its existence because I used to live in Northern New Jersey. Ralph: "That reminds me of my song: `Help Me Make It Through The Night." Ralph says that he will rub Ed's back and sing to him, but if he ever tells anyone at the Raccoon Lodge about this, he will kill him. Considering that in a previous episode (or two), the Nortons & Kramdens visited Paris, how could "Last Time We Were In Paris" be their song? Ralph tries to sing "Last Time We Were In Paris." Alice's mother sees him singing that song to Ed and rubbing his back. She gets the wrong idea. Alice's Mom: "I am calling Anita Bryant tomorrow morning." Remember, back then homosexuality on TV was more controversial than it is today. Ralph: "Everyone is against me. All I have left is my rabbit's foot." Ralph then discovers that Ed accidentally ate it when he sat down to eat his sandwich. Realistically, how could that happen?
Time for the middle commercial break bumper.
The next day, Ed comes in with a bottle of champagne. He puts the bottle into a bowl. Ralph comes out with his radio. After Ralph wins the money, he will move to Park Avenue and rub elbows with the big shots. Alice comes out with a suitcase. Her mom is leaving and so is Alice. Alice is leaving too to think things over and she might not come back. Ralph blames Alice's mother for Alice leaving him. Ralph says that he doesn't want the money for himself. He wants it for her. With a million dollars, they can go on a second Honeymoon to Atlantic City. If this episode was done in Miami Beach, you know Ralph would have said Miami Beach and not Atlantic City. According to Ralph, they will check into the finest room they have, the room that has a window that overlooks the platform where Daisy the Diving Horse jumps over. Ralph: "You are also going to have that wart removed from the back of your knee." Alice's Mom: "That is a beauty spot. I have two of them. One on my knee and one where only my husband has seen." Ralph: "If he has seen it, there must be a wart under the table at Kelly's Saloon." Ed plugs in the radio and Ralph turns up the volume. Nothing is working. Ed unplugs it and looks at the back of the radio. Ed: "You got to push that wire into that slot there and hold your finger on it." Ralph does that while Ed plugs the radio in. Cue Ralph being "electrocuted" now. While Ralph is being "electrocuted", a loud sound is heard. I don't think that could have come from that radio. Ralph, of course, is too stupid let go of the radio so Ed unplugs the radio. Ed asks Trixie to bring down his radio. Ed's radio is shaped like a cat. According to Ralph, he has never been this nervous. What about the episode (or two) in which he was locked inside of a haunted castle as well as some other experiences? Ralph wishes he has had his lucky rabbit's foot. So does Ed. Ralph goes into the bedroom.
Later on, Ralph comes out. Trixie comes down with the radio. Ralph selfishly says: "Gimme that radio." Trixie is upset at Ralph for being so mean. Ed: "Watch it Ralph. That radio costs me $15." The "cat radio" doesn't even look like a real cat. It looks like a radio that a little kid would have. Ralph: "How do you turn her on?" Ed: "Usually I bite her ear." The audience laughs. Ralph: "Not Trixie. The cat." The left eye turns on the radio and controls the volume. The right eye is the station tuner. I should mention that on this cat radio, there is no way to tell what station the radio is on just by looking at it (maybe unless you look at it from the side in which the camera is not on.) To get police calls, you twist her whiskers. To get soft wave music, you raise or her tale up or down or simply turn it to the left. Ed turns on the radio. Music plays in such a fashion that you can tell that it is not coming from the radio. They get the station that airs the Christmas Lottery Program. The announcer is Johnny Olsen. Johnny: "I will announce the names of the three top winners. Will you spin the giant tumbler penny?" Today, the lottery hosts use a machine (I am not sure what it is called) that puffs magic balls out. Those magic balls have numbers on them. Johnny: "The winner of the million dollars is Mr. Ralph Krausmeyer." Ralph is upset. Johnny says that Ralph Krausmeyer's numbers were basically all fives except for one which was a zero. Johnny: "The winner of the $500,000 prize is Mr. Pete Mountgovern of Gnome, Alaska." In reality, I don't think that lottery programs will have winners that live that far, far away. I think that all lottery programs would have winners who live in the area that the program is broadcasting in and I don't think any lottery program was ever heard or show nationally. Johnny: "The winner of the $100,000 prize Merry Nolan of Ocean Port, New Jersey." Ralph is upset because he thinks that he didn't win anything. Trixie leaves with the cat as the music from the radio blares loudly. The girls & Ed also think that Ralph has lost. Alice's Mom calls Ralph a bum and goes into the bedroom. Trixie comes down with the good news. Ralph did win something. He won sixth prize which is $1500. Ralph and Ed are happy. How could Ralph have won sixth prize if Trixie just left the room mere seconds ago? Ralph: "This is the first time Alice that I have ever seen you speechless with joy." She looks upset to me. Ralph is going to take everyone to the Hong Kong Gardens for Chinese food. The Nortons are happy as they leave with the champagne and radio. Alice's Mom comes out. She calls Ralph her favorite son-in-law. She claims that she didn't hear anything and she was thinking over how mean she has been. She then says what she wants from the Hong Kong Gardens. She tells Alice to make sure that Ralph bundles up so he wouldn't catch a cold and then leaves. Ralph: "She is not a bad skate at that. Everyone loves a winner." Alice: "You won $1500. How mush did it cost you?" Ralph adds up the costs. The cost is $1499.88." So he won 12 cents. Ralph is still happy that he won at least something and calls himself a winner. Alice thinks that he is a loser because he lost all the trust of his friends. She remembers all the bad things Ralph did in order to get the extra 12 cents like taking Ed's paycheck and making sure Ed doesn't get any money from it as well as cashing in her dad's social security check, borrowing from their insurance money etc. Alice sits down. Ralph walks around. Time for the usual "I'm sorry Alice" bit as unique music plays in the background. He says that he does everything wrong but he does it for Alice. Ralph: "If I promise NEVER to do any more crazy things, will you stay with me?" Alice says: "I must be crazy too Ralph because I still love you." Ralph: "Baby, you're the greatest." They hug and kiss. That was a fitting way to end the last official episode (although Ralph did do a crazy scheme in The Honeymooners movie in 2005 where he attempted to get money to get a train out of the sewer so him & Ed can make money giving tours of New York.)
Time for the curtain call. Jackie steps out in front of a gray curtain. He has his usual curtain call "coffee" cup with him. Jackie: "How sweet it is. I used to go to Atlantic City for salt water taffy cut to fit the kisser but right now he is coming to Atlantic City for the friendship. It is the greatest." He then introduces a "young woman" who is working with them for the first (and eventually only time) named Eileen Heckart. I guess Jackie wanted to be nice when introducing her. He then introduces the main cast. As he is doing it, I think you can see that Jackie's cup was empty. After Jackie introduces the main cast, he says "Good night."
During the credit roll, Johnny says: "This is Johnny Olsen saying: `Merry Christmas from The Honeymooners.' Then the ABC announcer plugs an ABC show. He then says that "Frosty's Winter Wonderland", a Nester the long-eared Christmas guppy special is going to be "shown" on Wednesday. Announcer: “Now stay tuned for `The Gathering' on the Sunday Night Movie." I didn't know that ABC aired Frosty the Snowman specials.
Review: Honeymooning Behind The Scenes
DVD: Attached to the Honeymooners Christmas Special
The title of this extra is not to be confused with the extra that is similarly named on The Honeymooners movie that I believe ironically is called: Honeymooners Behind The Scenes.
The special opens with the first few seconds of the syndicated version of the Color Honeymooners opening. This is basically another Jean Kean interview with publicity pictures of the Color Honeymooners and pictures of the Honeymooners specials shown. In the background is the set that was used for the Honeymooners Specials. She says that they all had a crazy schedule during filming because Jackie didn't rehearse but he would come by in the golf cart and look at the script. Jackie would erase what he didn't want to say then he would leave and tell the chef what he wanted for dinner. Then, he would disappear with his last words to the cast would be: “Learn the lines.” The blocking would come the day of the show was taped. Jean: “Very rarely would we have to go back and do something.” Before and after pictures of the final scene of the Honeymooners Valentine's Special were shown. What were the pictures? One picture showed the cast in the electric kitchen and the next shot showed some of the appliances exploding. Jean said that the reason why Jackie didn't do anything twice was because an audience wouldn't laugh twice at the same joke and scene. Jean: “Jackie never liked to use a laugh track. That laughter was genuine.
Jean said that working with Art was great. He was a treat all the time. She said that Art and Jackie couldn't be any more different. Art was shy while Jackie was out there. If Art was at a party, he would be at the piano (if there was one) and stay there all night (and probably not warm up to every song by playing “Swanee River.”) Jackie was very generous to Art. For some shows, he would let him have the whole show. Jean would say that Jackie thought Art was the funniest and that he wanted Art to be great. Jean: “They got along. Wonderful team. He wouldn't do the Honeymooners without Art. Jackie was a genius. He was a good stage comedian and actor. I think Art Carney was a genius in the same way. He was a fine actor and God knows he was funny. They were a great team. I am sorry there will never be another tandem like them.”
Audrey turned the remake down because she was married to Bob Sixx who was the head of the Continental Airlines and she liked to travel with him. That is when Shelia MacRae came in. After some time, they did the ABC Specials and Audrey was willing to do those. Jean: “Working with Audrey was different than Shelia because during Shelia's first rehearsal, she played Alice much softer. Jackie reprimanded her for that. Shelia says that her Alice is softer and cries. Jackie's response was: 'Not on my show because then the people will hate me.' That was why at the end he would always say: 'Baby, you're the greatest.' Audrey had that drive. She could top him. Shelia felt differently about the role.”
Jean said that it was a great era. Jean: “Unfortunately, there are not many shows today that are like that. I like to work with people who if the line is wrong or the book isn't right, that they go right along with it and don't make a big thing out of it because we all like to improvise and we should be able to. I think that I enjoyed working with Jackie and Art more than anybody in the business. It was a great experience. Never be another one like that.”
This special feature is almost like an edited version of the same as the Jean Kean interview entitled: “A Talk with Trixie.” Since I haven't seen that special feature in a long time, as I was doing this review, I feared that MPI just edited “A Talk with Trixie” and just put it on this DVD rather than give us another rare special feature. In other words, if you bought this Christmas Special DVD just for this interview and you already have “A Talk with Trixie”, then you are almost wasting your money.
Episode #1
TV: This episode was seen The Honeymooners Really Lost Debut Episodes. This special was shown in 1993 on Disney Channel (yes, THAT Disney Channel) & March of 2000 on TV Land. This episode was attached to the first six Really Lost Debut Episodes.
DVD: Attached to “”Razor Blades”, “New TV Set”, “Ralph Threatens To Leave”, “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”), “The Ring Salesman” (’51 version), “Quiz Show” (’51 version), “Xmas Party” (’51 version), “New Bowling Ball”, “The Turkey”, “Lost Baby”, “Quiz Show” (’52 version), “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “Jellybeans” & “Six Months To Live” (’51 version).
Don Russell makes the introduction and talks about what the word “honeymoon” means. Don: “This evening, Jackie Gleason introduces two ‘new’ characters: Ralph Kramden & Alice Kramden. Ralph & Alice are a married couple who’s boat has sprung a leak. Alice is preparing a dinner for Ralph who is coming home after a hard day driving a bus.”
Alice is preparing dinner. Alice (singing): “They say, I am much to young to love.” Ralph comes home. Alice asks Ralph to go down to Krauss’ and get some bread. Ralph doesn’t want to. Alice says that she can’t because she is cooking dinner. Ralph: “Did you spend all day doing that?” Alice: “Don’t start me. I am not in the mood for it.” Ralph still won’t go. Alice says that she wouldn’t ask Ralph to go down if they didn’t have any bread. Alice says that she didn’t go down to Krauss’ because she had a lot to do all day. Ralph is still upset. Ralph wants everybody to hear him yell. Alice: “Do you want to hear me yell? I’ll yell. I’LL YELL” Neighbors complain. Ralph says that he will not go tonight, last night or the night before. Alice: “I don’t eat bread.” She takes the bread heels and throws them out the window. Eventually, they end up throwing, a bread box, some pots and pans and a thing of flour all end up on the street in anger. Alice then threatens to throw herself out the window. Ralph encourages her to throw herself out. Alice: “I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.”
A cop comes up. The cop is played by Art Carney is his first appearance on the show. He is covered in bread flower. Alice says that it was her fault. The cop is very lenient. He says: “Don’t let it happen again. Sheesh!” “Sheesh!” would later be one of Ed Norton’s catchphrases. Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives him. Ralph asks Alice if she wants to go out to eat at a pizzeria. Alice says yes. Ralph: “Come here baby!” They hug and kiss.
Episode #220
TV: Has not been seen on TV since its original airdate.
DVD: Attached to “Honeymooning Behind The Scenes” (a Jean Kean interview.)
I attempted to do a review of this episode in August 2004, but since at that time the last time I saw it was in 1998 at the Museum of TV & Radio, I relied completely on my memory and needless to say, my review was poor. I now have this episode in my possession and here is the review. The synopsis of this episode for some reason is not on honeymooners.net.
Unlike the past specials, this one was filmed in Superstar Theater in the Resorts National Hotel on the boardwalk in Atlantic City. The opening of this episode is similar to the other specials as well as the Color Honeymooners but the footage they use is a person zooming in on the Atlantic City boardwalk from the ocean. Eileen Heckart guest stars.
The Kramden apartment has some Christmas decorations in it as Alice brings in a skinny Christmas tree. Trixie comes in. Alice said that she didn't want Ralph to pick it out because he always waits until the last minute hoping to get one cheap. That is why last year; he got the tree on Jan. 10. Alice is going to put the tree into the bedroom to keep cool since according to her, it's colder in there than it is outside. She does. Ed comes down with his usual sewer outfit. Ralph comes home and combs his mustache. Ralph has had a bad day. On his very first stop, an old lady comes on the bus and her false teeth fall right into his change pocket. Tomorrow, it won't be much better since he is driving a school bus. I guess that Ralph got demoted from being Traffic Manager (since he was going to be promoted to one according to the end of "Honeymooners Christmas Carol." Trixie forgot to get Ed his dinner, so she asks what he wants from the store. His choices are nothing but frozen foods. Ed: "Here's a woman risking frostbite just to feed me." Ed doesn't know what he wants to eat. Trixie: "Do you want me to surprise you?" Ed: "Yeah, don't come back." Ed shows his Christmas bonus check which is $418.79. Ralph's eyes light up. The girls leave to go to the store. Ralph reveals his plan to Ed. Ralph: "I'm going to be a millionaire." How many times have we heard THAT before? Ralph: "I am going to give you an opportunity to invest in the greatest plan that I have ever had in my life." Ed: "What's the plan?" Ralph: "I can't tell you. You will have to trust me." Ed: "How much will it cost me?" Ralph: "$418.79." Ed claims that he lost the check. Ralph: "Look in your hat." Ed says that he can't give him the money because Trix will hit him. Ralph says that he was an only child (despite the fact that in previous episodes, he revealed that he has siblings.) He was a lonely child and he always wanted a little brother to play with. Ralph: "A little brother that he could beat up every now and then so I can put a band-aid on him." He said that since he doesn't have a little brother, he would have an imaginary brother and he would wonder what he would be like. He would depend on him. Ed asks what he looked like. Ralph: He looks exactly like you." Ed is touched and he says that he loves Ralph like a brother. Ralph: "Since we missed a lot of games in our childhood, we are going to play one right now. The game: Hand Over The Check." Ed "looks" for the check. He gives the "check" to Ralph. Ed: "As your imaginary brother, here's an imaginary check." Ha ha. Ed says that he will not give Ralph the check. Ralph is mad. He says that it was true that he had an imaginary brother, that he used to play games with him and that he looked like Ricardo Montelban. Ed: "Maybe he will give you the check." A knock on the door is heard. It's Alice's mother (played by Eileen Heckart.) She looks like a different person…again. As usual, they have a fight. Alice's mom says that she has given them the bureau, the table and the icebox. Ralph: "Yeah and twenty years ago, you gave me a headache." They go back and forth arguing. Alice's Mom: "Where's Alice, the person that I said thirty years ago that you are marrying Ralph over my dead body." Ralph: "That is another promise that you didn't keep." Alice's Mom said that Ralph didn't even give Ralph a child. Alice's Mom: "The only person around here that looks pregnant is you." Alice's Mom wants to give Alice her dad's three month social security check. Now they are arguing over Alice's Dad. Alice's Mom doesn't want Ralph to forget to give Alice the check. Ralph: "Should I tie a string around my finger?" Alice's Mom: "Tie a rope around your neck." She leaves. Ralph forgets about doing his idea, but then changes his mind when he remembers that he is holding Alice's Dad's three month social security check. Ed finally gives Ralph his check. Since they are "brothers", Ed asks if they can go over to the schoolyard and play Potsie.
The next day, Trixie comes in. Alice has some news. She went to the bank to get some money and the banker told her that the account was closed. Ralph went to the bank this morning and cleared out their entire life savings which was $248. Trixie: "There goes your condo in Florida." Trixie says that Ed handed over his entire big paycheck for one of Ralph's crazy ideas. Alice's Mother comes by. Alice: "I feel awful." Alice's Mom: "Good. I hope its morning sickness." Alice says that she is upset at Ralph. After Alice's Mom asks Alice if Ralph gave Alice her dad's three month social security check. Alice says no. Ed comes in. Trixie is upset at Ed. Alice: "Are you alone?" Ed: "I am never alone as long as I got my big brother." Alice: "Well, in about 10 minutes, you will be an only child." Ralph comes home and says that he took all of his & Alice's life savings, took Alice's Dad's social security check, Ed's paycheck, cashed his own paycheck, his Raccoon pension fund, and borrowed from his insurance. He did that because he wanted to invest in the greatest idea he ever had. He said that he used the money to buy lottery tickets. Ed: "And you thought that Ralph was crazy. He is as sane as I am." There's more. Ralph asks Ed to help him remove the bureau. They try to lift it. You can tell that Jackie and Art are not making any effort to move it, yet somehow Ralph screams in pain from trying to "lift" it the first time since Ed didn't do his part. They try it to "lift" it two more times. It is too heavy. So, Ed takes the two top drawers and puts them on TOP of the dresser to make it easier to move and somehow that works. It is almost the scene thing that they did in "A Woman's Work Is Never Done." They move the bureau so Ralph can get another bag of lottery tickets that he bought. Those lottery tickets look awful big for lottery tickets and somehow I doubt that all that money could have really be used to buy all those lottery tickets since there looks to be less than 100 of them. Ralph: "The top prize is $1 million. That pales in comparison to some of the top lottery prizes today. Ralph: "Name me someone else that could make a million dollars in one day." Alice: "Seattle Slew." Ed: "Are you comparing Ralph to a horse?" Alice: "Only part of a horse." I think I know which part. Ralph is going to tell them an amazing story. Ralph: "Four weeks ago, FOUR weeks ago, my bus breaks down in front of a gypsy tea room. When I go inside there to make a phone call to the depot, I look through the beaded curtains, I see an old gypsy lady reading tea leaves. When I get the dime out of my pocket to make the call (remember back then pay phone calls were a little bit less in New York than they are now), my rabbit's foot falls on the floor. She picks it up, presses it to her lips and mumbles something. I said: `What are you doing with my rabbit's foot?' She says: `I am putting a blessing on it.' You will have good fortune for the rest of your life. As I am making the phone call, she starts to read my palm. She says: `Happiness is on the way. You money line is very strong and your lucky number keeps popping up all the time.' I said: "What is my lucky number?' She said: `That is a buck extra.' I gave her the buck. She says: `Your lucky number is 4. I think nothing of it at the time. I go back to the depot and Garrity says to me that they are switching me to the FOURTH avenue line. I have never driven the fourth avenue line. I am going along the run. The first stop is FOURTH Street. FOUR men got on the bus and they didn't get off until FORTY-FOURTH Street. I go back to the depot. It is exactly FOUR o' clock. I wanted to give it one more test. I go back to the gypsy tea room and there is a cop there padlocking the door. I said: `Where is the gypsy lady?' He said: `We evicted her FOUR hours ago. She hadn't paid her rent in FOUR months.'" Ralph says that every one of those tickets has the number 4 on it someplace. Alice: "Your number is 4 all right Ralph because soon a little wagon is going to pull up around here. It will have FOUR bells on it. The there is going to be FOUR knocks on this door. We are going to open it. There is going to be FOUR men in white. They are going to grab you by the arms and legs and say those FOUR magic words Ralph. Just FOUR words. `AND AWAY WE GO!'" Alice says that it might be a good idea to have Ralph's head examined. Ralph says that he will have it examined anywhere but no one will find anything in there.
Later that night, Alice is getting the cot ready so Ralph can sleep on it. Alice's Mother is staying with them because Ralph got her so upset so Ralph has to sleep in the kitchen. That is why she is staying? Ralph says that he left his lucky rabbit's foot in the bathroom where Alice's Mom is in right now. Ralph is so concerned with her mom and Alice's Irish wishes. I guess that Alice's family is Irish. Ralph: "Your mother is putting an Irish wish on my rabbit's foot. Alice goes into the bedroom. Alice's Mom comes out with her beauty cream on and scares Ralph. Alice's Mom: "Here is your rabbit's foot Ralph and you know what you can do with it." She leaves. Ralph puts his rabbit's foot on the table. Ed comes down using the fire escape to stay with Ralph after being locked out by Trixie on the fire escape. She got him there by using a clever ruse. She said: "Ed, go out there and water the flowers." Ed, being stupid, says yes then realizes that you don't water flowers in the wintertime and remembers that they have no flowers. Ralph is going to go to bed by lying down on the cot in his bus uniform since according to him; he can't get his pajamas (although right now he could if he wanted to). Ed keeps Ralph awake by asking Ralph for some mustard on the sandwich that he (Ed) brought down. Then it is ketchup, then ketchup. Ralph asks if there is anything more that he wants. Ed says that the sandwich is perfect. Ralph tries to go to sleep. Now Ed is asking for a drink. Ralph (yells): "PUT DOWN THAT SANDWICH AND GET IN THIS BED." Ed does and both of them are trying to go to sleep on the same cot…without any covers. Ed can't sleep, so he tries counting sheep. He counts loudly. Ralph gets upset and orders Ed to get out of the bed. Ralph asks Ed how he gets to sleep upstairs. Ed says that Trixie always rubs his back. Ralph rubs his back. Ed says that when Trixie rubs his back, she always sings their song. Ed: "The song is: `Last Time We Were In Paris." That is how we met. We didn't meet in Paris though, but in Newark. Last time we were in Paris reminds me that we met in Newark." One of the precise locations that Ed claimed that he met Trixie for the first time was at a burlesque show. I doubt that Newark had any burlesque shows in its existence because I used to live in Northern New Jersey. Ralph: "That reminds me of my song: `Help Me Make It Through The Night." Ralph says that he will rub Ed's back and sing to him, but if he ever tells anyone at the Raccoon Lodge about this, he will kill him. Considering that in a previous episode (or two), the Nortons & Kramdens visited Paris, how could "Last Time We Were In Paris" be their song? Ralph tries to sing "Last Time We Were In Paris." Alice's mother sees him singing that song to Ed and rubbing his back. She gets the wrong idea. Alice's Mom: "I am calling Anita Bryant tomorrow morning." Remember, back then homosexuality on TV was more controversial than it is today. Ralph: "Everyone is against me. All I have left is my rabbit's foot." Ralph then discovers that Ed accidentally ate it when he sat down to eat his sandwich. Realistically, how could that happen?
Time for the middle commercial break bumper.
The next day, Ed comes in with a bottle of champagne. He puts the bottle into a bowl. Ralph comes out with his radio. After Ralph wins the money, he will move to Park Avenue and rub elbows with the big shots. Alice comes out with a suitcase. Her mom is leaving and so is Alice. Alice is leaving too to think things over and she might not come back. Ralph blames Alice's mother for Alice leaving him. Ralph says that he doesn't want the money for himself. He wants it for her. With a million dollars, they can go on a second Honeymoon to Atlantic City. If this episode was done in Miami Beach, you know Ralph would have said Miami Beach and not Atlantic City. According to Ralph, they will check into the finest room they have, the room that has a window that overlooks the platform where Daisy the Diving Horse jumps over. Ralph: "You are also going to have that wart removed from the back of your knee." Alice's Mom: "That is a beauty spot. I have two of them. One on my knee and one where only my husband has seen." Ralph: "If he has seen it, there must be a wart under the table at Kelly's Saloon." Ed plugs in the radio and Ralph turns up the volume. Nothing is working. Ed unplugs it and looks at the back of the radio. Ed: "You got to push that wire into that slot there and hold your finger on it." Ralph does that while Ed plugs the radio in. Cue Ralph being "electrocuted" now. While Ralph is being "electrocuted", a loud sound is heard. I don't think that could have come from that radio. Ralph, of course, is too stupid let go of the radio so Ed unplugs the radio. Ed asks Trixie to bring down his radio. Ed's radio is shaped like a cat. According to Ralph, he has never been this nervous. What about the episode (or two) in which he was locked inside of a haunted castle as well as some other experiences? Ralph wishes he has had his lucky rabbit's foot. So does Ed. Ralph goes into the bedroom.
Later on, Ralph comes out. Trixie comes down with the radio. Ralph selfishly says: "Gimme that radio." Trixie is upset at Ralph for being so mean. Ed: "Watch it Ralph. That radio costs me $15." The "cat radio" doesn't even look like a real cat. It looks like a radio that a little kid would have. Ralph: "How do you turn her on?" Ed: "Usually I bite her ear." The audience laughs. Ralph: "Not Trixie. The cat." The left eye turns on the radio and controls the volume. The right eye is the station tuner. I should mention that on this cat radio, there is no way to tell what station the radio is on just by looking at it (maybe unless you look at it from the side in which the camera is not on.) To get police calls, you twist her whiskers. To get soft wave music, you raise or her tale up or down or simply turn it to the left. Ed turns on the radio. Music plays in such a fashion that you can tell that it is not coming from the radio. They get the station that airs the Christmas Lottery Program. The announcer is Johnny Olsen. Johnny: "I will announce the names of the three top winners. Will you spin the giant tumbler penny?" Today, the lottery hosts use a machine (I am not sure what it is called) that puffs magic balls out. Those magic balls have numbers on them. Johnny: "The winner of the million dollars is Mr. Ralph Krausmeyer." Ralph is upset. Johnny says that Ralph Krausmeyer's numbers were basically all fives except for one which was a zero. Johnny: "The winner of the $500,000 prize is Mr. Pete Mountgovern of Gnome, Alaska." In reality, I don't think that lottery programs will have winners that live that far, far away. I think that all lottery programs would have winners who live in the area that the program is broadcasting in and I don't think any lottery program was ever heard or show nationally. Johnny: "The winner of the $100,000 prize Merry Nolan of Ocean Port, New Jersey." Ralph is upset because he thinks that he didn't win anything. Trixie leaves with the cat as the music from the radio blares loudly. The girls & Ed also think that Ralph has lost. Alice's Mom calls Ralph a bum and goes into the bedroom. Trixie comes down with the good news. Ralph did win something. He won sixth prize which is $1500. Ralph and Ed are happy. How could Ralph have won sixth prize if Trixie just left the room mere seconds ago? Ralph: "This is the first time Alice that I have ever seen you speechless with joy." She looks upset to me. Ralph is going to take everyone to the Hong Kong Gardens for Chinese food. The Nortons are happy as they leave with the champagne and radio. Alice's Mom comes out. She calls Ralph her favorite son-in-law. She claims that she didn't hear anything and she was thinking over how mean she has been. She then says what she wants from the Hong Kong Gardens. She tells Alice to make sure that Ralph bundles up so he wouldn't catch a cold and then leaves. Ralph: "She is not a bad skate at that. Everyone loves a winner." Alice: "You won $1500. How mush did it cost you?" Ralph adds up the costs. The cost is $1499.88." So he won 12 cents. Ralph is still happy that he won at least something and calls himself a winner. Alice thinks that he is a loser because he lost all the trust of his friends. She remembers all the bad things Ralph did in order to get the extra 12 cents like taking Ed's paycheck and making sure Ed doesn't get any money from it as well as cashing in her dad's social security check, borrowing from their insurance money etc. Alice sits down. Ralph walks around. Time for the usual "I'm sorry Alice" bit as unique music plays in the background. He says that he does everything wrong but he does it for Alice. Ralph: "If I promise NEVER to do any more crazy things, will you stay with me?" Alice says: "I must be crazy too Ralph because I still love you." Ralph: "Baby, you're the greatest." They hug and kiss. That was a fitting way to end the last official episode (although Ralph did do a crazy scheme in The Honeymooners movie in 2005 where he attempted to get money to get a train out of the sewer so him & Ed can make money giving tours of New York.)
Time for the curtain call. Jackie steps out in front of a gray curtain. He has his usual curtain call "coffee" cup with him. Jackie: "How sweet it is. I used to go to Atlantic City for salt water taffy cut to fit the kisser but right now he is coming to Atlantic City for the friendship. It is the greatest." He then introduces a "young woman" who is working with them for the first (and eventually only time) named Eileen Heckart. I guess Jackie wanted to be nice when introducing her. He then introduces the main cast. As he is doing it, I think you can see that Jackie's cup was empty. After Jackie introduces the main cast, he says "Good night."
During the credit roll, Johnny says: "This is Johnny Olsen saying: `Merry Christmas from The Honeymooners.' Then the ABC announcer plugs an ABC show. He then says that "Frosty's Winter Wonderland", a Nester the long-eared Christmas guppy special is going to be "shown" on Wednesday. Announcer: “Now stay tuned for `The Gathering' on the Sunday Night Movie." I didn't know that ABC aired Frosty the Snowman specials.
Review: Honeymooning Behind The Scenes
DVD: Attached to the Honeymooners Christmas Special
The title of this extra is not to be confused with the extra that is similarly named on The Honeymooners movie that I believe ironically is called: Honeymooners Behind The Scenes.
The special opens with the first few seconds of the syndicated version of the Color Honeymooners opening. This is basically another Jean Kean interview with publicity pictures of the Color Honeymooners and pictures of the Honeymooners specials shown. In the background is the set that was used for the Honeymooners Specials. She says that they all had a crazy schedule during filming because Jackie didn't rehearse but he would come by in the golf cart and look at the script. Jackie would erase what he didn't want to say then he would leave and tell the chef what he wanted for dinner. Then, he would disappear with his last words to the cast would be: “Learn the lines.” The blocking would come the day of the show was taped. Jean: “Very rarely would we have to go back and do something.” Before and after pictures of the final scene of the Honeymooners Valentine's Special were shown. What were the pictures? One picture showed the cast in the electric kitchen and the next shot showed some of the appliances exploding. Jean said that the reason why Jackie didn't do anything twice was because an audience wouldn't laugh twice at the same joke and scene. Jean: “Jackie never liked to use a laugh track. That laughter was genuine.
Jean said that working with Art was great. He was a treat all the time. She said that Art and Jackie couldn't be any more different. Art was shy while Jackie was out there. If Art was at a party, he would be at the piano (if there was one) and stay there all night (and probably not warm up to every song by playing “Swanee River.”) Jackie was very generous to Art. For some shows, he would let him have the whole show. Jean would say that Jackie thought Art was the funniest and that he wanted Art to be great. Jean: “They got along. Wonderful team. He wouldn't do the Honeymooners without Art. Jackie was a genius. He was a good stage comedian and actor. I think Art Carney was a genius in the same way. He was a fine actor and God knows he was funny. They were a great team. I am sorry there will never be another tandem like them.”
Audrey turned the remake down because she was married to Bob Sixx who was the head of the Continental Airlines and she liked to travel with him. That is when Shelia MacRae came in. After some time, they did the ABC Specials and Audrey was willing to do those. Jean: “Working with Audrey was different than Shelia because during Shelia's first rehearsal, she played Alice much softer. Jackie reprimanded her for that. Shelia says that her Alice is softer and cries. Jackie's response was: 'Not on my show because then the people will hate me.' That was why at the end he would always say: 'Baby, you're the greatest.' Audrey had that drive. She could top him. Shelia felt differently about the role.”
Jean said that it was a great era. Jean: “Unfortunately, there are not many shows today that are like that. I like to work with people who if the line is wrong or the book isn't right, that they go right along with it and don't make a big thing out of it because we all like to improvise and we should be able to. I think that I enjoyed working with Jackie and Art more than anybody in the business. It was a great experience. Never be another one like that.”
This special feature is almost like an edited version of the same as the Jean Kean interview entitled: “A Talk with Trixie.” Since I haven't seen that special feature in a long time, as I was doing this review, I feared that MPI just edited “A Talk with Trixie” and just put it on this DVD rather than give us another rare special feature. In other words, if you bought this Christmas Special DVD just for this interview and you already have “A Talk with Trixie”, then you are almost wasting your money.
Episode #1
TV: This episode was seen The Honeymooners Really Lost Debut Episodes. This special was shown in 1993 on Disney Channel (yes, THAT Disney Channel) & March of 2000 on TV Land. This episode was attached to the first six Really Lost Debut Episodes.
DVD: Attached to “”Razor Blades”, “New TV Set”, “Ralph Threatens To Leave”, “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”), “The Ring Salesman” (’51 version), “Quiz Show” (’51 version), “Xmas Party” (’51 version), “New Bowling Ball”, “The Turkey”, “Lost Baby”, “Quiz Show” (’52 version), “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “Jellybeans” & “Six Months To Live” (’51 version).
Don Russell makes the introduction and talks about what the word “honeymoon” means. Don: “This evening, Jackie Gleason introduces two ‘new’ characters: Ralph Kramden & Alice Kramden. Ralph & Alice are a married couple who’s boat has sprung a leak. Alice is preparing a dinner for Ralph who is coming home after a hard day driving a bus.”
Alice is preparing dinner. Alice (singing): “They say, I am much to young to love.” Ralph comes home. Alice asks Ralph to go down to Krauss’ and get some bread. Ralph doesn’t want to. Alice says that she can’t because she is cooking dinner. Ralph: “Did you spend all day doing that?” Alice: “Don’t start me. I am not in the mood for it.” Ralph still won’t go. Alice says that she wouldn’t ask Ralph to go down if they didn’t have any bread. Alice says that she didn’t go down to Krauss’ because she had a lot to do all day. Ralph is still upset. Ralph wants everybody to hear him yell. Alice: “Do you want to hear me yell? I’ll yell. I’LL YELL” Neighbors complain. Ralph says that he will not go tonight, last night or the night before. Alice: “I don’t eat bread.” She takes the bread heels and throws them out the window. Eventually, they end up throwing, a bread box, some pots and pans and a thing of flour all end up on the street in anger. Alice then threatens to throw herself out the window. Ralph encourages her to throw herself out. Alice: “I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.”
A cop comes up. The cop is played by Art Carney is his first appearance on the show. He is covered in bread flower. Alice says that it was her fault. The cop is very lenient. He says: “Don’t let it happen again. Sheesh!” “Sheesh!” would later be one of Ed Norton’s catchphrases. Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives him. Ralph asks Alice if she wants to go out to eat at a pizzeria. Alice says yes. Ralph: “Come here baby!” They hug and kiss.