Frank Gannucci
05-10-2012, 05:57 PM
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
(WCIUDT4) (MeTV in Chicago [aka WMEU])
Note: This is not on MeTV's national feed. Since this station was the first MeTV station, the schedule may be different then the rest or at least most of the rest.
All episodes are in CC.
Central time unless otherwise noted.
Mon. May 14, 2012 1a #82 (aka #73) – “Stand-In For Murder ('54 version) (Part Two)”: Ralph thinks he's gotten the break of his life when he gets a new high-paying position and he and Alice move into a luxury apartment. Meanwhile, the rival gang tries to kill Ralph.
FUN FACT -This episode ran overtime and was never completed.
Mon. May, 21, 2012 1a #83 (aka #151/#31) - “‘Expectant Father’/‘The Cold’”: (For “Expectant Father”): Alice secretly gets a job in a doctor's office. Ralph mistakenly concludes that Alice is pregnant. (For “The Cold”): Ralph has a terrible cold and thinks Alice wants him to die so she can collect his insurance money.
(MeTV)
This schedule is for most if not all MeTV affiliates due to the fact that some local stations in some markets may also broadcast the Honeymooners and they may take exception to MeTV wanting to show the show.
Sun. May 13, 2012 5a #43 (aka #88) - *“Teamwork Beats the Clock”: Ralph and Alice "Beat the Clock," but when they're asked to return, Alice can't make it and Norton takes over.
Mon. May 14, 2012 5a 5a #77 (aka #78) – “Box Top Kid (Part One)”: Ralph gets jealous when his brother in law wins a trip to Europe in a box top contest. He and Norton start to buy every product they can find with a box top contest.
10:30p #021 (aka #129) - "A Dog's Life": Ralph gets another one of his half-baked ideas after he samples a tasty dish he found in his ice box in "A Dog's Life," which was originally telecast Feb. 18, 1956. Convinced that the unusual cracker-spread will satisfy the public's appetite for a snack that's new and different, Ralph asks his boss, Mr. Marshall, to taste the dish in the hope that he'll bankroll production. Ralph's even cooked up a name for the culinary delight: "KramMar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer." Marshall tries it and likes it, and asks Ralph if the recipe is exclusively his wife's or if Alice's mother helped out. "Anything she'd cook I wouldn't give to a dog," Ralph replies. But Marshall wants some other opinions, so he calls in his assistants for another taste test. After two of the assistants reveal the food to be dog food, Ralph is convinced that Alice got a dog and tries to put it back in the pound...only to fall in love with it and take possession of the other dogs who were over their respective limits and were going to be killed.
Tue. May 15, 2012 5a #78 – “Box Top Kid (Part Two)”: Ralph wins a Slim-O Bread contest by claiming he lost 80 pounds. There's only one problem; he must lose the weight before the publicity photos are taken or he will be disqualified.
10:30p #022 (aka #130) - "Here Comes The Bride": On the eve of his lodge brother Stanle y's marriage to Alice's sister, Ralph---the self-proclaimed "king of [his] castle"---gives his future brother-in-law marital advice. Furious that Stanley has agreed to live with Alice's parents, Ralph instructs him to put his foot down. "I don't want to argue," he tells Ralph, prompting Norton to reply: "If you don't want to argue, what are you getting married for?"
Wed. May 16, 2012 5a #80 (aka #157) - *“My Fair Landlord”: Ralph buys a two-family house and the Nortons become Ralph's tenants. After moving in, Norton tries to break his lease.
10:30p #023 (aka #131) - "Mama Loves Mambo": A dance teacher moves into the building and has all the husbands kicking up a fuss. Ralph and Norton had the idea that Carlos Sanchez was an old man who might like to relax with a game of checkers. He's not---bachelor Carlos is suave and handsome, and worse, is giving their wives mambo lessons in the Kramdens' apartment. Sanchez: Charles Korvin.
Thu. May 17, 2012 5a #81 (aka #73) – “Stand-In For Murder ('54 version) (Part One)”: A gangster finds out he is about to be killed by a rival gang. His men discover that Ralph is an amazing look-alike for their boss, and decided to use poor Ralph as a stand-in for murder. FUN FACT -This is the second time in the series Jackie Gleason played a dual role.
10:30p #024 (aka #132) - "Please Leave The Premises": Ralph refuses to pay a rent increase of $5 a month and, to avoid eviction, barricades himself, Alice and Norton in the apartment. Its war, says Ralph, and he's the general of their army. But after a few days without heat, and the food supply reduced to only celery, General Kramden hatches a plan to get fresh grub from the neighborhood delicatessen. Mr. Johnson: Luis Van Rooten.
Fri. May 18, 2012 #82 – “Stand-In For Murder ('54 version) (Part Two)”: Ralph thinks he's gotten the break of his life when he gets a new high-paying position and he and Alice move into a luxury apartment. Meanwhile, the rival gang tries to kill Ralph.
FUN FACT -This episode ran overtime and was never completed.
10:30p #025 (aka #133) - "House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"): Alice accepts a department store's offer to redecorate their apartment for free. She wants to surprise Ralph, so she arranges to secretly meet with the decorator---who then makes the mistake of leaving one of his gloves in the flat. When Ralph finds the glove, he suspects Alice of having an affair. Andre: Alexander Clark.
Sun. May 20, 2012 #44 (aka #92) - *“Kramden Vs. Norton”: Ralph takes Ed to the movies for his birthday. Norton wins a television set with the ticket Ralph bought, and the two friends fight over who really owns the TV set.
Mon. May 21, 2012 5a #83 (aka #151/#31) - “‘Expectant Father’/‘The Cold’”: (For “Expectant Father”): Alice secretly gets a job in a doctor's office. Ralph mistakenly concludes that Alice is pregnant. (For “The Cold”): Ralph has a terrible cold and thinks Alice wants him to die so she can collect his insurance money.
10:30p #026 (aka #134) - "Young Man With A Horn": The discovery of his old cornet and an unexpected visit by a self-made millionaire prompt Ralph to wonder why he hasn't achieved more success and hit the "high note" in his life. As a result, he decides to make a list of his good points and do something to correct his bad ones.
Tue. May 22, 2012 5a #84 (aka #72) - *“The Next Champ”: Ralph becomes the manager of a boxer he believes will be the world's next=2 0heavyweight champion.
10:30p #027 (aka #135) - “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka "Head of The House"): In the hilarious "Head of the House" (originally telecast March 31, 1956), Ralph marks his "emancipation" as king of his castle by sitting down with Norton to finish a bottle of wine that is "a little strong but good." Their first toast, Ralph says, is "to my wife, who has finally found her place." Actually, what Alice found was a bottle of grape juice, which she substituted for the wine. When the men get plastered and pass out, Trixie and Alice pour their own drinks and make their own toasts. "I give you our husbands," says Trixie. "You can have 'em," says Alice. The wine-and-grape-juice scene, Art Carney recalled, was one of his favorites. "We really were laughing at each other...because we were supposed to be laughing...crocked and everything. Funny scene."
Wed. May 23, 2012 5a #85 (aka #41/#64) – “‘Anniversary Gift’/‘Finger Man’”: (For “Anniversary Gift”): Ralph is embarrassed when the anniversary gift he bought Alice is the same one Trixie bought for her. (For “Finger Man”): Ralph heroically catches a murderer on his bus, but fears for his life when the murderer escapes from jail and vows to "get the man who put the finger on him."
10:30p #028 (aka #136) - "The Worry Wart": Ralph's nerves are taxed when he gets a letter requesting his presence at the IRS office. Alice tries to calm him by reminding him that many people have their returns reviewed. "You're darn right," Norton agrees. "The jails are full of them." Norton, in fact, is helping Ralph review the business deductions he made on his returns and then lends his buddy moral support by accompanying him to the IRS office.
Thu. May 24, 2012 5a #86 (aka #54/#37) – “‘The Prowler’/‘Glow Worm Cleaning Powder’”: (For “The Prowler”): In the middle of the night the police warn the Kramdens that there is a prowler loose in the building. (For “Glow Worm Cleaning Powder”): Alice is chosen to be next month's "Glow Worm Girl" but Ralph won't let her do it.
10:30p #029 (aka #137) - "Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): While leaving the pool hall, Ralph witnesses a bank robbery and takes a bullet through his hat. That's reason enough for him to believe that the thugs will come gunning for him, so Norton tells his on-edge pal to just relax and watch some TV. "What's playing tonight?" Ralph asks. Norton's reply: "Dead Men Tell No Tales." Bibbo: Frank Marth. Danny: George Petrie.
Fri. May 25, 2012 5a #89 (aka #47/#149) – “‘Hot Tip’/‘Checkup’”: (For “Hot Tip”): Ralph places some bets at the racetrack for some neighbors, and gets nervous when Norton warns him that the police think he's a bookie. (For “Checkup”): Ralph schemes to fail a medical exam when h e thinks the doctor is from his insurance company.
10:30p #030 (aka #138) - "The Loudspeaker": Ralph thinks he'll be named Raccoon of the Year,20so he begins writing his acceptance speech (if he could only get rid of his hiccups). It's a very distinctive honor, he reminds the skeptical Alice, because it entitles the two of them to "free burial privileges in the Raccoons' national cemetery in Bismarck, North Dakota."
Credit goes to zap2it.com,, the Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, the honeymooners.net, tvland.com & John K's Book To The Moon.
Now on for my skit:
(Alice & Ralph are in the Kramden kitchen.)
Alice: "Ralph, I forgot to tell you. We are going to my mother's for Mother's Day."
Ralph: "Oooooh...WHAT?"
Alice: "We are going to my mother's and you will be nice to her."
Ralph: "That is impossible. We don't get along. We are enemies. Natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose."
Alice: "Ralph, you are going."
Ralph (yells): "I AM NOT. I AM GOING TO WATCH THE YANKEE GAME WITH NORTON UPSTAIRS."
Alice (yells): "OH, YOU WILL NOT. YOU ARE GOING TO MY MOTHER'S. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF THIS SITUATION WAS REVERSED?"
Ralph (yells): "AT LEAST MY MOM IS NOT A BLAAAAABERMOUTH!"
Alice: "Ralph, I thought I told you not to call her that."
Ralph: "All right. You are an expert on crossword puzzles. Give me another word for 'blabbermouth.'"
Alice: "Ralph, I just want you to know that if you don't come with me to my mother's, then when you get home after hanging out with Ed, I won't be here. If this situation was reversed, I certainly wouldn't act like would. I would go along with you because I love you."
(Alice sits down.)
Ralph: "Sorry honey. I didn't mean to yell at you. I guess you are right. I know how much this means to you. As of right now, if I went to the Yankee game on Sunday, I would feel so terrible. I will go with you to your mom's."
Alice: "Oh Ralph."
Ralph: "Baby, you're the greatest."
(They hug and kiss.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Thank you. We all would want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to every mom."
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audrey gets introduced as the crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Good night everyone."
(Audience cheers.)
(WCIUDT4) (MeTV in Chicago [aka WMEU])
Note: This is not on MeTV's national feed. Since this station was the first MeTV station, the schedule may be different then the rest or at least most of the rest.
All episodes are in CC.
Central time unless otherwise noted.
Mon. May 14, 2012 1a #82 (aka #73) – “Stand-In For Murder ('54 version) (Part Two)”: Ralph thinks he's gotten the break of his life when he gets a new high-paying position and he and Alice move into a luxury apartment. Meanwhile, the rival gang tries to kill Ralph.
FUN FACT -This episode ran overtime and was never completed.
Mon. May, 21, 2012 1a #83 (aka #151/#31) - “‘Expectant Father’/‘The Cold’”: (For “Expectant Father”): Alice secretly gets a job in a doctor's office. Ralph mistakenly concludes that Alice is pregnant. (For “The Cold”): Ralph has a terrible cold and thinks Alice wants him to die so she can collect his insurance money.
(MeTV)
This schedule is for most if not all MeTV affiliates due to the fact that some local stations in some markets may also broadcast the Honeymooners and they may take exception to MeTV wanting to show the show.
Sun. May 13, 2012 5a #43 (aka #88) - *“Teamwork Beats the Clock”: Ralph and Alice "Beat the Clock," but when they're asked to return, Alice can't make it and Norton takes over.
Mon. May 14, 2012 5a 5a #77 (aka #78) – “Box Top Kid (Part One)”: Ralph gets jealous when his brother in law wins a trip to Europe in a box top contest. He and Norton start to buy every product they can find with a box top contest.
10:30p #021 (aka #129) - "A Dog's Life": Ralph gets another one of his half-baked ideas after he samples a tasty dish he found in his ice box in "A Dog's Life," which was originally telecast Feb. 18, 1956. Convinced that the unusual cracker-spread will satisfy the public's appetite for a snack that's new and different, Ralph asks his boss, Mr. Marshall, to taste the dish in the hope that he'll bankroll production. Ralph's even cooked up a name for the culinary delight: "KramMar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer." Marshall tries it and likes it, and asks Ralph if the recipe is exclusively his wife's or if Alice's mother helped out. "Anything she'd cook I wouldn't give to a dog," Ralph replies. But Marshall wants some other opinions, so he calls in his assistants for another taste test. After two of the assistants reveal the food to be dog food, Ralph is convinced that Alice got a dog and tries to put it back in the pound...only to fall in love with it and take possession of the other dogs who were over their respective limits and were going to be killed.
Tue. May 15, 2012 5a #78 – “Box Top Kid (Part Two)”: Ralph wins a Slim-O Bread contest by claiming he lost 80 pounds. There's only one problem; he must lose the weight before the publicity photos are taken or he will be disqualified.
10:30p #022 (aka #130) - "Here Comes The Bride": On the eve of his lodge brother Stanle y's marriage to Alice's sister, Ralph---the self-proclaimed "king of [his] castle"---gives his future brother-in-law marital advice. Furious that Stanley has agreed to live with Alice's parents, Ralph instructs him to put his foot down. "I don't want to argue," he tells Ralph, prompting Norton to reply: "If you don't want to argue, what are you getting married for?"
Wed. May 16, 2012 5a #80 (aka #157) - *“My Fair Landlord”: Ralph buys a two-family house and the Nortons become Ralph's tenants. After moving in, Norton tries to break his lease.
10:30p #023 (aka #131) - "Mama Loves Mambo": A dance teacher moves into the building and has all the husbands kicking up a fuss. Ralph and Norton had the idea that Carlos Sanchez was an old man who might like to relax with a game of checkers. He's not---bachelor Carlos is suave and handsome, and worse, is giving their wives mambo lessons in the Kramdens' apartment. Sanchez: Charles Korvin.
Thu. May 17, 2012 5a #81 (aka #73) – “Stand-In For Murder ('54 version) (Part One)”: A gangster finds out he is about to be killed by a rival gang. His men discover that Ralph is an amazing look-alike for their boss, and decided to use poor Ralph as a stand-in for murder. FUN FACT -This is the second time in the series Jackie Gleason played a dual role.
10:30p #024 (aka #132) - "Please Leave The Premises": Ralph refuses to pay a rent increase of $5 a month and, to avoid eviction, barricades himself, Alice and Norton in the apartment. Its war, says Ralph, and he's the general of their army. But after a few days without heat, and the food supply reduced to only celery, General Kramden hatches a plan to get fresh grub from the neighborhood delicatessen. Mr. Johnson: Luis Van Rooten.
Fri. May 18, 2012 #82 – “Stand-In For Murder ('54 version) (Part Two)”: Ralph thinks he's gotten the break of his life when he gets a new high-paying position and he and Alice move into a luxury apartment. Meanwhile, the rival gang tries to kill Ralph.
FUN FACT -This episode ran overtime and was never completed.
10:30p #025 (aka #133) - "House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"): Alice accepts a department store's offer to redecorate their apartment for free. She wants to surprise Ralph, so she arranges to secretly meet with the decorator---who then makes the mistake of leaving one of his gloves in the flat. When Ralph finds the glove, he suspects Alice of having an affair. Andre: Alexander Clark.
Sun. May 20, 2012 #44 (aka #92) - *“Kramden Vs. Norton”: Ralph takes Ed to the movies for his birthday. Norton wins a television set with the ticket Ralph bought, and the two friends fight over who really owns the TV set.
Mon. May 21, 2012 5a #83 (aka #151/#31) - “‘Expectant Father’/‘The Cold’”: (For “Expectant Father”): Alice secretly gets a job in a doctor's office. Ralph mistakenly concludes that Alice is pregnant. (For “The Cold”): Ralph has a terrible cold and thinks Alice wants him to die so she can collect his insurance money.
10:30p #026 (aka #134) - "Young Man With A Horn": The discovery of his old cornet and an unexpected visit by a self-made millionaire prompt Ralph to wonder why he hasn't achieved more success and hit the "high note" in his life. As a result, he decides to make a list of his good points and do something to correct his bad ones.
Tue. May 22, 2012 5a #84 (aka #72) - *“The Next Champ”: Ralph becomes the manager of a boxer he believes will be the world's next=2 0heavyweight champion.
10:30p #027 (aka #135) - “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka "Head of The House"): In the hilarious "Head of the House" (originally telecast March 31, 1956), Ralph marks his "emancipation" as king of his castle by sitting down with Norton to finish a bottle of wine that is "a little strong but good." Their first toast, Ralph says, is "to my wife, who has finally found her place." Actually, what Alice found was a bottle of grape juice, which she substituted for the wine. When the men get plastered and pass out, Trixie and Alice pour their own drinks and make their own toasts. "I give you our husbands," says Trixie. "You can have 'em," says Alice. The wine-and-grape-juice scene, Art Carney recalled, was one of his favorites. "We really were laughing at each other...because we were supposed to be laughing...crocked and everything. Funny scene."
Wed. May 23, 2012 5a #85 (aka #41/#64) – “‘Anniversary Gift’/‘Finger Man’”: (For “Anniversary Gift”): Ralph is embarrassed when the anniversary gift he bought Alice is the same one Trixie bought for her. (For “Finger Man”): Ralph heroically catches a murderer on his bus, but fears for his life when the murderer escapes from jail and vows to "get the man who put the finger on him."
10:30p #028 (aka #136) - "The Worry Wart": Ralph's nerves are taxed when he gets a letter requesting his presence at the IRS office. Alice tries to calm him by reminding him that many people have their returns reviewed. "You're darn right," Norton agrees. "The jails are full of them." Norton, in fact, is helping Ralph review the business deductions he made on his returns and then lends his buddy moral support by accompanying him to the IRS office.
Thu. May 24, 2012 5a #86 (aka #54/#37) – “‘The Prowler’/‘Glow Worm Cleaning Powder’”: (For “The Prowler”): In the middle of the night the police warn the Kramdens that there is a prowler loose in the building. (For “Glow Worm Cleaning Powder”): Alice is chosen to be next month's "Glow Worm Girl" but Ralph won't let her do it.
10:30p #029 (aka #137) - "Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): While leaving the pool hall, Ralph witnesses a bank robbery and takes a bullet through his hat. That's reason enough for him to believe that the thugs will come gunning for him, so Norton tells his on-edge pal to just relax and watch some TV. "What's playing tonight?" Ralph asks. Norton's reply: "Dead Men Tell No Tales." Bibbo: Frank Marth. Danny: George Petrie.
Fri. May 25, 2012 5a #89 (aka #47/#149) – “‘Hot Tip’/‘Checkup’”: (For “Hot Tip”): Ralph places some bets at the racetrack for some neighbors, and gets nervous when Norton warns him that the police think he's a bookie. (For “Checkup”): Ralph schemes to fail a medical exam when h e thinks the doctor is from his insurance company.
10:30p #030 (aka #138) - "The Loudspeaker": Ralph thinks he'll be named Raccoon of the Year,20so he begins writing his acceptance speech (if he could only get rid of his hiccups). It's a very distinctive honor, he reminds the skeptical Alice, because it entitles the two of them to "free burial privileges in the Raccoons' national cemetery in Bismarck, North Dakota."
Credit goes to zap2it.com,, the Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, the honeymooners.net, tvland.com & John K's Book To The Moon.
Now on for my skit:
(Alice & Ralph are in the Kramden kitchen.)
Alice: "Ralph, I forgot to tell you. We are going to my mother's for Mother's Day."
Ralph: "Oooooh...WHAT?"
Alice: "We are going to my mother's and you will be nice to her."
Ralph: "That is impossible. We don't get along. We are enemies. Natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose."
Alice: "Ralph, you are going."
Ralph (yells): "I AM NOT. I AM GOING TO WATCH THE YANKEE GAME WITH NORTON UPSTAIRS."
Alice (yells): "OH, YOU WILL NOT. YOU ARE GOING TO MY MOTHER'S. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF THIS SITUATION WAS REVERSED?"
Ralph (yells): "AT LEAST MY MOM IS NOT A BLAAAAABERMOUTH!"
Alice: "Ralph, I thought I told you not to call her that."
Ralph: "All right. You are an expert on crossword puzzles. Give me another word for 'blabbermouth.'"
Alice: "Ralph, I just want you to know that if you don't come with me to my mother's, then when you get home after hanging out with Ed, I won't be here. If this situation was reversed, I certainly wouldn't act like would. I would go along with you because I love you."
(Alice sits down.)
Ralph: "Sorry honey. I didn't mean to yell at you. I guess you are right. I know how much this means to you. As of right now, if I went to the Yankee game on Sunday, I would feel so terrible. I will go with you to your mom's."
Alice: "Oh Ralph."
Ralph: "Baby, you're the greatest."
(They hug and kiss.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Thank you. We all would want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to every mom."
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audrey gets introduced as the crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Good night everyone."
(Audience cheers.)