Frank Gannucci
02-17-2012, 08:06 AM
Episode Reviews: Scripts of “Easter Hats” & “Alice’s Birthday.”
Episode #46
DVD: Attached to “The Norton Interviews”, Radio versions of “Letter To The Boss” & “Love Letter”, “Additional Sketches & Commercials”, “Lost Episodes Story”, script to “Alice’s Birthday” & “All About Trixie: Joyce Randolph Interview.”
The script for this episode that is on the DVD is very hard to read at times. I will try my best to decipher it.
The announcer introduces us to the show.
Trixie comes by. Alice says that she is been cleaning. She has been boiling the bedroom curtains because they are filthy. She mentions that her and Ralph are going to be coloring Easter eggs so they can give to the kids in the building for Easter. They go into the bedroom to get the mattress back on the end.
Ralph & Ed come in. Ralph says that he is going to have “soup” that Alice just cooked. He asks Ed to try some. Ed says that it needs some salt. Alice comes out and wonders what Ralph is trying to do to her bedroom curtains. Ralph: “What are you trying to do, poison me?” Ed: “I’m telling you Ralph. A little more pepper and it will be fixed.” Ralph: “You are a mental case.” The Nortons leave.
Ralph says he is very agitated and says that he has to put up with a lot of cars on the road when he is on the job. He had his first accident. He hit a police car. (In “The Safety Award”, he said that he never got into a bus accident.) No one was hurt. He got the coloring for the Easter eggs. He got a lot of colors (including white).
Ralph gets upset that for a dozen eggs, it costs ninety five cents. (That pales in comparison to the prices of today.) Alice says that Trixie said that a week ago, they were seventy cents. Ralph blames the farmer. Ralph continues to argue with Alice by claiming that Alice could have gotten the dozen eggs for fifty cents a dozen. Alice: “I’m sorry. I just didn’t think.” Ralph: “That’s it. You don’t think.” She doesn’t? Alice: “Don’t act like I waste your salary away. I couldn’t save enough of your earnings to buy you a new hat for Easter.” Ralph: “What about the hat that I got you for your birthday?” Alice: “The one with the ostrich feathers?” Ralph: “Yeah, that’s the one.” Alice: “Some hat. When I put it on, I feel like hitting my head in the ground.” Ha!
Ralph is steamed. Ralph: “What are you complaining?” Alice: “I am not. My sister’s husband can buy dresses, hats and shoes.” Ralph: “Your sister’s husband doesn’t have the expenses that I do. What are you going to do with new clothes, get on the list of the ten best dressed women?” They continue to argue about clothes. Alice has had enough. She goes into the bedroom to get Ralph’s new hat. He loves it even though it's too big. He reveals that he also bought a new hat for Alice. She goes to the closet to get it and tries it on. She loves it. Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives him. Ralph: “Baby, you’re the greatest.”
Episode #52
Attached to “The Norton Interviews”, Radio versions of “Letter To The Boss” & “Love Letter”, “Additional Sketches & Commercials”, “Lost Episodes Story”, script to “Easter Hats” & “All About Trixie: Joyce Randolph Interview.”
Even though on the DVD Box Set, it says that the script for “Missing Pair of Pants” is there, when you click on it, it’s the script for “Alice’s Birthday.” There is also another link to “Alice’s Birthday” entitled, of course, “Alice’s Birthday.” Looks like MPI struck out again.
This script is easier to read then “Easter Hats” but it is a little blurry. I will try my best.
The announcer introduces us to the show.
Trixie comes by and wishes Alice a Happy Birthday with a hug and a gift. Alice says that she is going to put 25 candles on her cake this year. Alice doesn’t want to admit her real age. (In real life, Audrey was only 31.) Alice says that Ralph is going to give her a nylon slip. Ralph doesn’t even know that he is going to give her a nylon slip yet. Every year, Ralph forgets to buy Alice a present. Tonight, some of her friends are going to drop in. They do for every one of her birthdays. Every year, Ralph gets embarrassed when they give me gifts and Ralph doesn’t have one for her. To make sure that it doesn’t happen this time, she asked Jo Anne’s Lingerie to send a nylon slip to her as Ralph’s gift. She even dictated a romantic card. Alice asks Trix for some glasses. Trixie says that she only has six of them but on of them says: “I’m a big girl. I drink all my milk.” (Ed got it by mistake when he sent in a box top. He was expecting a space cadet helmet.)
Ralph comes home and tells Alice that a kid got on the bus and causes trouble. He thought that the kid was abandoned and was going to take him to the depot at the end of the line. When he got to a bus stop, the kid’s mother comes on and says she left him on the bus because where else can you get a babysitter for a dime? Ha! The girls go upstairs. Ed says that when he was supposed to quit at five one time and he ended up leaving the job at eight-thirty because some person parked their car on top of the manhole cover. A boy arrives with a package for Alice. Ralph found out again. It’s Alice’s birthday. He asks Ed to go down to the candy store and get the biggest box of candy that they have with ribbons and everything. Take it to your place and I will pretend that I had it there all the time. Ralph reads the romantic card and assumes that since the card wasn’t signed, that there is another guy in Alice’s life. Ralph: “I’m with her every night.” You can tell that this is one of the earlier episodes. According to later episodes, Ralph is out most nights of the week. Ed claims that Alice sees Charlie the Butcher every day and that it can be him. Ralph: “How can you tell if it’s from a butcher by just looking at the envelope?” Ed: “Maybe the envelope has sawdust in it.” Ralph is so upset and convinced that there is another guy in Alice’s life that he will move to the Y.M.C.A. tonight. Ed says that the Y.M.C.A. is a good place and if he doesn’t make amends with Alice, he can become a good handball player. Ralph notices that Alice made doueves and because of that, she will have a lot of people over. He will stick around and expose this home wrecker. When they get here, all Ralph will do is mention the words “L love you Hon and forever.” (A sentence that was a part of the romantic card.) When he sees the person react to it, he will nab the guilty party. If that doesn’t work, he will use his ace in the hole. He will compare everyone’s handwriting to the handwriting on the card.
Alice comes down and tells Ed that dinner is ready. Ed leaves. Ralph notices that Alice is wearing her best dress. Alice: “I know you always forget. Today, I am one year older.” Ralph: “Today, I am five years older.” Ralph sarcastically wishes her a happy birthday. Alice puckers her lips expecting Ralph to kiss her. Ralph doesn’t so Alice asks Ralph what is eating him. Ralph asks Alice what she did today. Alice said that she made the dishes, fixed the bed, waxed the kitchen floor, washed his shirts and hung them on the roof, washed the windows, mended his socks, went out to pay the gas bills, went to the market, took his shirts down and ironed them. After that, she claims that she went down to the employment agency and interviewed butlers. Ha! Ralph: “One of these days, pow right in the kisser.” A knock on the door is heard. It’s Alice’s friends. Ralph goes into the bedroom. Alice lets them in. Its two women and three men. One of the men is fat and an unlikely suspect. The people ad-lib “Happy Birthdays” & “Helloes.”
Ralph comes out. The first man says that Ralph is pretty lucky to have a wife like Alice. Ralph gets suspicious that the first guy (who Ralph calls Frank) is the “home wrecker.” Ralph: “So, you think I got a pretty wife, huh?” Frank: “Yeah.” Ralph: “’I love you Hon and forever.’ Does that mean anything to you?” Frank: “Yeah, you are drunk.” Ha! Ralph asks Frank to get out a pencil and a piece of paper. Frank asks why. Ralph: “I need to know your address.” Frank: “I live right in the next apartment.” Oh boy! Ralph: “I need it in case I move.” Frank complies. Ralph takes the paper and compares the writing to the writing on the card. Ralph then tells him to get a drink and gives him his address back. Ralph asks for George but since George was the fat one, he assumes that it can’t be him. Ralph calls Henry over. He asks Henry what he gave Alice for her birthday. Henry says that he didn’t give her anything. I told the store to deliver it. Ralph assumes that Henry is the guy and demands that Henry put up his dukes. Alice gets upset. Henry lightly taps Ralph in the face. Cue Ralph’s pain bit. Alice’s friends all leave. They ad-lib their goodbyes. Ralph accuses Alice of being in love with Henry. He proves it by showing the present and card that Henry “sent.” Alice explains the whole thing. She says that since Ralph never remembers her birthday and when people give her gifts, Ralph gets embarrassed. So she asked Jo Anne’s Lingerie to send a nylon slip to her as Ralph’s gift with a card so Ralph wouldn’t get embarrassed. She says that Ralph humiliated her. Ralph apologizes that he ruined her birthday. He says that he is not very bright. He says that he loves Alice and gets jealous when one man even takes a look at her. He says that he is going for a walk when Alice says that she is all puckered up. They embrace and kiss.
Episode #46
DVD: Attached to “The Norton Interviews”, Radio versions of “Letter To The Boss” & “Love Letter”, “Additional Sketches & Commercials”, “Lost Episodes Story”, script to “Alice’s Birthday” & “All About Trixie: Joyce Randolph Interview.”
The script for this episode that is on the DVD is very hard to read at times. I will try my best to decipher it.
The announcer introduces us to the show.
Trixie comes by. Alice says that she is been cleaning. She has been boiling the bedroom curtains because they are filthy. She mentions that her and Ralph are going to be coloring Easter eggs so they can give to the kids in the building for Easter. They go into the bedroom to get the mattress back on the end.
Ralph & Ed come in. Ralph says that he is going to have “soup” that Alice just cooked. He asks Ed to try some. Ed says that it needs some salt. Alice comes out and wonders what Ralph is trying to do to her bedroom curtains. Ralph: “What are you trying to do, poison me?” Ed: “I’m telling you Ralph. A little more pepper and it will be fixed.” Ralph: “You are a mental case.” The Nortons leave.
Ralph says he is very agitated and says that he has to put up with a lot of cars on the road when he is on the job. He had his first accident. He hit a police car. (In “The Safety Award”, he said that he never got into a bus accident.) No one was hurt. He got the coloring for the Easter eggs. He got a lot of colors (including white).
Ralph gets upset that for a dozen eggs, it costs ninety five cents. (That pales in comparison to the prices of today.) Alice says that Trixie said that a week ago, they were seventy cents. Ralph blames the farmer. Ralph continues to argue with Alice by claiming that Alice could have gotten the dozen eggs for fifty cents a dozen. Alice: “I’m sorry. I just didn’t think.” Ralph: “That’s it. You don’t think.” She doesn’t? Alice: “Don’t act like I waste your salary away. I couldn’t save enough of your earnings to buy you a new hat for Easter.” Ralph: “What about the hat that I got you for your birthday?” Alice: “The one with the ostrich feathers?” Ralph: “Yeah, that’s the one.” Alice: “Some hat. When I put it on, I feel like hitting my head in the ground.” Ha!
Ralph is steamed. Ralph: “What are you complaining?” Alice: “I am not. My sister’s husband can buy dresses, hats and shoes.” Ralph: “Your sister’s husband doesn’t have the expenses that I do. What are you going to do with new clothes, get on the list of the ten best dressed women?” They continue to argue about clothes. Alice has had enough. She goes into the bedroom to get Ralph’s new hat. He loves it even though it's too big. He reveals that he also bought a new hat for Alice. She goes to the closet to get it and tries it on. She loves it. Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives him. Ralph: “Baby, you’re the greatest.”
Episode #52
Attached to “The Norton Interviews”, Radio versions of “Letter To The Boss” & “Love Letter”, “Additional Sketches & Commercials”, “Lost Episodes Story”, script to “Easter Hats” & “All About Trixie: Joyce Randolph Interview.”
Even though on the DVD Box Set, it says that the script for “Missing Pair of Pants” is there, when you click on it, it’s the script for “Alice’s Birthday.” There is also another link to “Alice’s Birthday” entitled, of course, “Alice’s Birthday.” Looks like MPI struck out again.
This script is easier to read then “Easter Hats” but it is a little blurry. I will try my best.
The announcer introduces us to the show.
Trixie comes by and wishes Alice a Happy Birthday with a hug and a gift. Alice says that she is going to put 25 candles on her cake this year. Alice doesn’t want to admit her real age. (In real life, Audrey was only 31.) Alice says that Ralph is going to give her a nylon slip. Ralph doesn’t even know that he is going to give her a nylon slip yet. Every year, Ralph forgets to buy Alice a present. Tonight, some of her friends are going to drop in. They do for every one of her birthdays. Every year, Ralph gets embarrassed when they give me gifts and Ralph doesn’t have one for her. To make sure that it doesn’t happen this time, she asked Jo Anne’s Lingerie to send a nylon slip to her as Ralph’s gift. She even dictated a romantic card. Alice asks Trix for some glasses. Trixie says that she only has six of them but on of them says: “I’m a big girl. I drink all my milk.” (Ed got it by mistake when he sent in a box top. He was expecting a space cadet helmet.)
Ralph comes home and tells Alice that a kid got on the bus and causes trouble. He thought that the kid was abandoned and was going to take him to the depot at the end of the line. When he got to a bus stop, the kid’s mother comes on and says she left him on the bus because where else can you get a babysitter for a dime? Ha! The girls go upstairs. Ed says that when he was supposed to quit at five one time and he ended up leaving the job at eight-thirty because some person parked their car on top of the manhole cover. A boy arrives with a package for Alice. Ralph found out again. It’s Alice’s birthday. He asks Ed to go down to the candy store and get the biggest box of candy that they have with ribbons and everything. Take it to your place and I will pretend that I had it there all the time. Ralph reads the romantic card and assumes that since the card wasn’t signed, that there is another guy in Alice’s life. Ralph: “I’m with her every night.” You can tell that this is one of the earlier episodes. According to later episodes, Ralph is out most nights of the week. Ed claims that Alice sees Charlie the Butcher every day and that it can be him. Ralph: “How can you tell if it’s from a butcher by just looking at the envelope?” Ed: “Maybe the envelope has sawdust in it.” Ralph is so upset and convinced that there is another guy in Alice’s life that he will move to the Y.M.C.A. tonight. Ed says that the Y.M.C.A. is a good place and if he doesn’t make amends with Alice, he can become a good handball player. Ralph notices that Alice made doueves and because of that, she will have a lot of people over. He will stick around and expose this home wrecker. When they get here, all Ralph will do is mention the words “L love you Hon and forever.” (A sentence that was a part of the romantic card.) When he sees the person react to it, he will nab the guilty party. If that doesn’t work, he will use his ace in the hole. He will compare everyone’s handwriting to the handwriting on the card.
Alice comes down and tells Ed that dinner is ready. Ed leaves. Ralph notices that Alice is wearing her best dress. Alice: “I know you always forget. Today, I am one year older.” Ralph: “Today, I am five years older.” Ralph sarcastically wishes her a happy birthday. Alice puckers her lips expecting Ralph to kiss her. Ralph doesn’t so Alice asks Ralph what is eating him. Ralph asks Alice what she did today. Alice said that she made the dishes, fixed the bed, waxed the kitchen floor, washed his shirts and hung them on the roof, washed the windows, mended his socks, went out to pay the gas bills, went to the market, took his shirts down and ironed them. After that, she claims that she went down to the employment agency and interviewed butlers. Ha! Ralph: “One of these days, pow right in the kisser.” A knock on the door is heard. It’s Alice’s friends. Ralph goes into the bedroom. Alice lets them in. Its two women and three men. One of the men is fat and an unlikely suspect. The people ad-lib “Happy Birthdays” & “Helloes.”
Ralph comes out. The first man says that Ralph is pretty lucky to have a wife like Alice. Ralph gets suspicious that the first guy (who Ralph calls Frank) is the “home wrecker.” Ralph: “So, you think I got a pretty wife, huh?” Frank: “Yeah.” Ralph: “’I love you Hon and forever.’ Does that mean anything to you?” Frank: “Yeah, you are drunk.” Ha! Ralph asks Frank to get out a pencil and a piece of paper. Frank asks why. Ralph: “I need to know your address.” Frank: “I live right in the next apartment.” Oh boy! Ralph: “I need it in case I move.” Frank complies. Ralph takes the paper and compares the writing to the writing on the card. Ralph then tells him to get a drink and gives him his address back. Ralph asks for George but since George was the fat one, he assumes that it can’t be him. Ralph calls Henry over. He asks Henry what he gave Alice for her birthday. Henry says that he didn’t give her anything. I told the store to deliver it. Ralph assumes that Henry is the guy and demands that Henry put up his dukes. Alice gets upset. Henry lightly taps Ralph in the face. Cue Ralph’s pain bit. Alice’s friends all leave. They ad-lib their goodbyes. Ralph accuses Alice of being in love with Henry. He proves it by showing the present and card that Henry “sent.” Alice explains the whole thing. She says that since Ralph never remembers her birthday and when people give her gifts, Ralph gets embarrassed. So she asked Jo Anne’s Lingerie to send a nylon slip to her as Ralph’s gift with a card so Ralph wouldn’t get embarrassed. She says that Ralph humiliated her. Ralph apologizes that he ruined her birthday. He says that he is not very bright. He says that he loves Alice and gets jealous when one man even takes a look at her. He says that he is going for a walk when Alice says that she is all puckered up. They embrace and kiss.