Frank Gannucci
12-29-2011, 08:37 AM
A Honeymooners New Year’s Day!
(Everyone is in Times Square.)
Everyone (yells): “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
(“Alud Sang” plays.)
(Everyone kisses their significant others as streamers are thrown.)
(After that, everyone walks to a restaurant.)
Ed: “I am upset that Chuck E. Cheese isn’t open. I wanted to play in the ball pit.”
Trixie: “That figures.”
Ralph: “I can’t believe that it is 2012. Remember that bum preacher that said that the world was going to come to an end in 2011 and the many people out there that were dumb enough to believe him.”
Ed: “Wait a minute Ralph, you told me that you believed him.”
(Ralph elbows Ed.)
Alice: “I can’t believe that it is 2012.”
Alice’s Dad: “Me neither.”
Ralph: “I have a feeling that this year, my ship will come in.”
Alice’s Mom: “If we had to wait for your ship to come in, we would have to join the Long shore Man’s Union.”
Ralph: “Are you going to start? Aren’t you going to call me stupid?”
Alice’s Mom: “No. I won’t.”
Ralph: “Well, I guess that you might be kidding. New Year’s Day is always great.”
(They all sing a song about the New Year.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: “HAPPY NEW YEAR! OH, HOW SWEET IT IS.”
(Everyone cheers.)
Jackie: “First, let’s introduce the guests. They came back for another year. First, Ryan Seacrest.”
(Ryan comes out and shakes Jackie’s hand.)
Jackie: “America’s Oldest Teenager, Dick Clark.”
(Dick comes out and shakes Gleason’s hand.)
Dick: "By the way Jackie, I mean it. Miami Beach is the greatest and so are you."
(Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "That is wonderful. Isn't he great? Thank you."
Dick: “You lost weight.”
Jackie: “I dropped 60 pounds.”
Dick: “On whom?”
(Everyone laughs.)
Jackie: “Jean Kean.”
(Jean comes out and kisses Gleason.)
Jackie: “Audrey Meadows.”
(Audrey comes out and kisses Gleason.)
Jackie: “Art Carney.”
(Art comes out and shakes Gleason’s hand.)
Jackie: “As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the best. Good night!”
(Audience cheers.)
(Everyone is in Times Square.)
Everyone (yells): “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
(“Alud Sang” plays.)
(Everyone kisses their significant others as streamers are thrown.)
(After that, everyone walks to a restaurant.)
Ed: “I am upset that Chuck E. Cheese isn’t open. I wanted to play in the ball pit.”
Trixie: “That figures.”
Ralph: “I can’t believe that it is 2012. Remember that bum preacher that said that the world was going to come to an end in 2011 and the many people out there that were dumb enough to believe him.”
Ed: “Wait a minute Ralph, you told me that you believed him.”
(Ralph elbows Ed.)
Alice: “I can’t believe that it is 2012.”
Alice’s Dad: “Me neither.”
Ralph: “I have a feeling that this year, my ship will come in.”
Alice’s Mom: “If we had to wait for your ship to come in, we would have to join the Long shore Man’s Union.”
Ralph: “Are you going to start? Aren’t you going to call me stupid?”
Alice’s Mom: “No. I won’t.”
Ralph: “Well, I guess that you might be kidding. New Year’s Day is always great.”
(They all sing a song about the New Year.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: “HAPPY NEW YEAR! OH, HOW SWEET IT IS.”
(Everyone cheers.)
Jackie: “First, let’s introduce the guests. They came back for another year. First, Ryan Seacrest.”
(Ryan comes out and shakes Jackie’s hand.)
Jackie: “America’s Oldest Teenager, Dick Clark.”
(Dick comes out and shakes Gleason’s hand.)
Dick: "By the way Jackie, I mean it. Miami Beach is the greatest and so are you."
(Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "That is wonderful. Isn't he great? Thank you."
Dick: “You lost weight.”
Jackie: “I dropped 60 pounds.”
Dick: “On whom?”
(Everyone laughs.)
Jackie: “Jean Kean.”
(Jean comes out and kisses Gleason.)
Jackie: “Audrey Meadows.”
(Audrey comes out and kisses Gleason.)
Jackie: “Art Carney.”
(Art comes out and shakes Gleason’s hand.)
Jackie: “As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the best. Good night!”
(Audience cheers.)