Frank Gannucci
12-28-2011, 08:39 AM
A Honeymooners New Year’s Eve:
(Ralph & Ed are in the Kramden apartment.)
Ed: “I can’t believe that it is going to be the year 2012 in a few hours.”
Ralph: “Me neither. We will be in Times Square once again.”
(The girls come out.)
Alice: “Ralph, you got to promise me that you will not drink too much.”
Ralph: “Don’t worry. I know how to handle my liquor. I never get drunk.”
Alice: “You don’t. How about the time you came home after a Raccoon meeting and yelled out the window: ‘Hey Mrs. Gallagher, get your cat out of my apartment.’”
Ralph: “What was that cat doing here?”
Alice: “It wasn’t her cat. You had your Raccoon hat on backwards.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph: “Boy, I still can’t wait. I can’t wait to see all those stars. Selena Gomez, Fergie…”
Ed: “If they were older, I would go for them.”
(A knock on the door is heard.)
Alice: “Come in.”
(Alice’s parents come in.)
Alice’s Mom: “Sunny boy!”
Ralph (yells): “OH NO! NOT HER!”
Alice: “Ralph, either they come, or I don’t go.”
Ralph: “All right. They can come. But, if they embarrass me in front of Dick Clark, oooh boy!”
(They all leave to go to Times Square.)
(They arrive in Times Square. They are squished like sardines.)
Ed: “Hey I can do an impression of Times Square. Here it is. ‘Hey, pull over you bum.’ ‘Look out where you are going.’ ‘Watch out for the cars.’”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Ed: “Hey, we are right above my place of work. I hope that everything is flowing nicely down there.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes more.)
(Ryan Seacrest is shown. The audience applauds.)
Ryan: “Here were are on the street. I know that my boss, Dick Clark has done this before. Here we have to gentlemen. What are your names?”
Ralph: “My name is Ralph Kramden and this is Ed Norton.”
Ed: “Hello out there in TV Land. I hope all my fellow sewerworkers are all doing well. I hope that everything is flowing nicely down there.”
Ralph: “Oh boy! I am a bus driver and he works in the sewer.”
Ryan: “Thank you for telling me that especially since I just got finished eating.”
(It is now 11:59:20pm. The camera cuts to Dick Clark. Audience applauds.)
Dick: “It’s that time folks. This might be my last year doing this. I don’t know. But here we go.”
Everyone (yells): “20…19…18…17…16…15…14…13…12…11…10…”
Ed (yells): “THE CHAMPAGNE WAS NOT KORBEL.”
(Everyone laughs.)
Everyone (yells): “4…3…2…1…”
(To be continued.)
(Ralph & Ed are in the Kramden apartment.)
Ed: “I can’t believe that it is going to be the year 2012 in a few hours.”
Ralph: “Me neither. We will be in Times Square once again.”
(The girls come out.)
Alice: “Ralph, you got to promise me that you will not drink too much.”
Ralph: “Don’t worry. I know how to handle my liquor. I never get drunk.”
Alice: “You don’t. How about the time you came home after a Raccoon meeting and yelled out the window: ‘Hey Mrs. Gallagher, get your cat out of my apartment.’”
Ralph: “What was that cat doing here?”
Alice: “It wasn’t her cat. You had your Raccoon hat on backwards.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph: “Boy, I still can’t wait. I can’t wait to see all those stars. Selena Gomez, Fergie…”
Ed: “If they were older, I would go for them.”
(A knock on the door is heard.)
Alice: “Come in.”
(Alice’s parents come in.)
Alice’s Mom: “Sunny boy!”
Ralph (yells): “OH NO! NOT HER!”
Alice: “Ralph, either they come, or I don’t go.”
Ralph: “All right. They can come. But, if they embarrass me in front of Dick Clark, oooh boy!”
(They all leave to go to Times Square.)
(They arrive in Times Square. They are squished like sardines.)
Ed: “Hey I can do an impression of Times Square. Here it is. ‘Hey, pull over you bum.’ ‘Look out where you are going.’ ‘Watch out for the cars.’”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Ed: “Hey, we are right above my place of work. I hope that everything is flowing nicely down there.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes more.)
(Ryan Seacrest is shown. The audience applauds.)
Ryan: “Here were are on the street. I know that my boss, Dick Clark has done this before. Here we have to gentlemen. What are your names?”
Ralph: “My name is Ralph Kramden and this is Ed Norton.”
Ed: “Hello out there in TV Land. I hope all my fellow sewerworkers are all doing well. I hope that everything is flowing nicely down there.”
Ralph: “Oh boy! I am a bus driver and he works in the sewer.”
Ryan: “Thank you for telling me that especially since I just got finished eating.”
(It is now 11:59:20pm. The camera cuts to Dick Clark. Audience applauds.)
Dick: “It’s that time folks. This might be my last year doing this. I don’t know. But here we go.”
Everyone (yells): “20…19…18…17…16…15…14…13…12…11…10…”
Ed (yells): “THE CHAMPAGNE WAS NOT KORBEL.”
(Everyone laughs.)
Everyone (yells): “4…3…2…1…”
(To be continued.)